Men and Women
(a psychoanalysis)
It
was Margaret Thatcher who said
eloquently “ No: No
Women cannot love men” For men are
simpletons when they fall in love , women are quick to capitalize on the
business. Good marriages are not about love :they are about deals. Ask any
married woman about her husband and here you
open the Pandora box
of grumbling and whimper . If
you push a little harder,
soon she will confess, after all he
is not that bad , I have a
comfortable life with him . Women are choosy by instinct , they measure men by
their wealth status and power. Watch any wild life documentary , you would see
how female in the other species also prefer male on the basis of their
colour , power and bodily appearance. This instinct have made men more
competitive and aggressive and they fight for their power and survival , while
women are sluggish inactive and
easy going. It is not a habit , but
in born instinctive. When some
thing is easily available , why pain yourself for it. When first caveman
brought the prey upon his back , his woman smiled , the
Primitive man considered it
a sign of affection and love but she smiled, because
she secured meal for a few
days.
She is born upon
compromise :for some one else has
to win bread for her and man knows he has to go for the task , to sweat himself
and there is no escape. Venturing about for the
food male becomes fighter ; among
the animals he fights with claws , among men with financial rivalry , among
nations , with armies , navies and newspapers. The woman’s nature is to seek
Men
are always rivals , no matter how close they live , they are rivals and a deep
animosity is there in the depth of their hearts . A father and son are close
enough ,yet they are rivals. The Father and the Son and the Holy ghost is
a troika of competition, in which Holy Ghost works no more than the conciliatory
medium. If we look deeper at the concept, it is quite strange one ,the believer
has to believe both , a little manhood is there , and the worshipper has to take
care of it. One has to love both in equal measures, in a way ,not overlap or
confuse each other, but keep an ego of both
intact. So is the case of each man : every man
is a little ruler in himself
and he cannot fall from his ego . Fathers
and sons and brothers and uncles become rivals in no time when there rise any
clash of egos .
Throughout
out the history man went on strange errands
and adventures , he risked himself , suffered discomforts
and great pain and diseases . fought grand wars ,looted and plundered
great cities and countries, but he always returned with
laurels and treasures to give it to his woman ,and she
only smiled and he forgot all his miseries and sufferings.
“A man
taketh his sword, and goeth his way to rob and to steal, to sail upon the sea
and upon rivers; and looketh upon a lion,
and goeth in the darkness; and when he hath stolen, spoiled, and robbed, he
bringeth it to his love”. Apocrypha.
Zorobabel, in Esdras I 4:22–24.[1]
From
the creation of dawn , man always
fought man, man captivated man , man cut man into pieces. It was only man who
was the enemy of a man , no where
man considered a woman his rival , because she is no match for him. Men
do not want solely the obedience of women, they want their sentiments. It is
often said women like praise and adoration ,
the matter seems contrary Men
like praise and adoration more often than women but to ideal level
. If we look back at history of myths and ,religions , no where supreme
god is represented as female ( goddesses
were equalient share holder in all mythologies but in lesser extant
). She was called
mother earth and worshipped as
fertility goddess .Still men
remained the prime and extreme gods ( The high Jupiter , Vishnu etc )
,even to the extreme limits the phallus
cult. It was only male who was
adored and worshipped not a
woman .A woman loves to talk about
herself most of the time , her picture of beauty can never go beyond her own
self , but man thinks more abstractly: when
a woman talks about her own beauty
and charm, man is lost in the dreams
of his ideal goddess, which
he knows better than his wife.
The
Roman citizen was filled with
horror at the prospect of a learned
wife because it meant equality in
intellect. Men are defiant to equality , he would give his life for the woman he
loves ,but can never submit his will for he is
supreme jealous. Men can
share every thing but not their manhood. Women
are unlike them , therefore polygamy has always been in vogue because women can
share and men can’t. The sense of possession is stronger in men than
women. Jealousy is the instinct of acquisition .Women are jealous but in lesser
extent , she can be jealous of his husband’s friends, his newspaper, his books
etc. Women wins her victories not through fighting , nor through bravery
, but through persistence and tenacity . The male pugnacity is more
intense , but less sustained . He may growl and even beat his woman , but in the
end she will triumph by repetition , like an advertisement. If she repeats it is
because she cannot strike , weak people ,weak species ,sexes and individual are
rich in endurance .Napoleon, who could master
a continent could not rule his wife. The wise wife will put it down as a
fundamental rule of war “ if at first you don’t succeed , cry again”
Aristotle
puts virtue first in the list of virtues., that courage is transcendental virtue
,the condition for the possibility of all others :without
courage neither honesty
nor magnanimity nor service is possible nor even wit in conversation is
possible. But the courage to endure
the physical pain and facing death is the ultimate courage And male body is the
expression of courage to go head and strike .
Every
civilization through out the time
set up its own set of ideals of courage ,which
male has to adopt The idea of nudity : in most of
us brings female body but
it’s only a paradox .Women may take more pain
in preserving their body and shape as it is the ultimate
weapon to be darted in opponent sex: yet this concept
is far removed from the
truth; male is much more conscious of his body but
not the
manner female has been
awarded . Women are depicted
by our media industry more exhibitionist.
In modern dress every inch of the body of female is measured again and
again , for a friction can destroy the desired effect. What about men ,if female
can seek pleasure in showing up ; male finds the desired result in hiding ;
making himself mysterious. Both
speak body language, but in contrast, one is exhibitionist and other finds
pleasure in voyeurism. Whole civilization of mankind has always given male ; a
dress to hide and make him more sensual and holy . Male shows up himself in
modern tight dress and sports wear
, showing every muscle of the body , the symbol
of power and valour ;yet hiding enough
to set aflame the opposite sex. ;
for he is more conscious of his body
charm and symmetry than female ,yet he never tells it . The
beauty not lies in woman’s body : it lies only in man ; for the ultimate
idea of beauty is his mind .He knows that beauty cannot exist without courage
and male body is solely the expression of courage
. Take out courage
of a man he will cease to exist , while
woman has been living only with the idea
of beauty for she feels perfection
only in a man eyes . What a man sees
in woman is only his reflection nothing else ,
which
he alters when ever he wants, It is man who creates for
himself the image of woman and woman forms herself according to this
image , yet she never realizes it.
Youth
which is braver than old age is materially helpless. For men Love comes , and youth finding its pockets empty
dares not marry . Love comes again ( years
after) and this time the pockets are full , and marriage is celebrated .The
marriage for modern urban girl is a long waiting for Mr. Right ; she often
plunges in to getting attention in office
and , parties etc. Her capacity to
earn a good income makes the
possible suitor a hesitant .At last she finds a man , she marries , but the marriage is no marriage , being
sexual instead of parental association
– it decays for the lack of root. The couple is modern , they play at equality
and a tug of war ensues till one or the other has established an irritating
mastery .They cannot afford child they can’t cut their luxury for the sake of
a child. The woman finds herself changed from a goddess into a cook .She watches
her husband jealously , she is sick
of his absent minded punctuality . there is no more flattery and charm of the
past . A stranger seems charming than an absent minded husband , who cares his
boss more than her. Things begin to worse ,until Satan finds some way out and
they are divorced ,and each of them again shrinks to his individual shell. The
modern marriage ends because
both the partners are selfish , none of them can come down his or her self
interest .
Primarily
marriage has been a positive outlet
for sexual energies , but the end of marriage is never sexual . It is the institutionalization of parent-hood and
families. Through out the history
marriage has been provided with thorough law and legislature to make it
smooth , because it is the
schematization of society. For men it is becoming father and continuation of
his name and
for
women it is the arousal of instinctive love of motherhood for her children.
Arrival
of modern age has lost the essence of marriage
, now it’s more sexual rather than becoming parents : for couples cannot think
beyond themselves as children means cutting your own comfort. The labour of
birth is a painful experience ; but
it also gives the awareness of
pain and makes her more humble in their whole life. And we can surely see why
women are kind and gentle by nature. In our times women are losing their
motherhood , but they can’t fathom, what they are heading toward , the lose of
motherhood has quickened the rate of divorce and independent living has created new
social problems , which never existed before .Often government seems
helpless , because whatever they do , she can’t be substitute for a
father or mother . Children in family live in balance and peace :
comforts cannot fill the mental vacuum , which is present even when the children
themselves become parents. For men mother of his children is more respectful
than his mistress as children are the perpetuation
of his name. It is living forever, and
the fulfillment of his wish of eternity.
Mankind
is becoming more intellectual and
now more than ever he calculates
every thing . The rivalry in the world is now mental instead of martial. Every
where there is a war , every moment ,there is change
and flux ; man has become more selfish and mean than ever .
Now
death and wars and diseases have to be created or mighty industries cannot exist
without them. Man is becoming more
individual, he cannot directly feel the world , he looks it at via
satellite inside his furnished room
. He sees the media and makes his
own decision by his own self , he is shrinking , living lone, for he cannot bear
others any more. His thirst for rule has increased , and modern
technology has granted him the power to switch the things by a simple click.
The
future of family is an endangered
concept now, for he (mankind) considers himself more self sufficient than ever .
He wants just things done , no reasoning , no thinking , mere dictatorship. Man
is losing sense of tolerance ,it is considered a waste of time , relationships
are becoming mere utilitarian
instead of companionship – this
is not only
the revolt against nature but complete
loss of the
civilization.
Equality
between men and women do not mean, to snatch each other rights , and
molest even the right of
existence ; nor is it thrusting obligations and privileges or coerce
to such things which are inhuman feats.
The Great Creator was conscious enough than us , therefore he created two
sexes.
It
is not meant for rivalry or
superimposing each other. It is much
more like the two forms of opposite energies , one stormy and violent ,the other
soft and calm, together
in the form of companionship, they make the greater cosmic
energy , to create peace and harmony
in the life.