Teach Me

By Cynthia Chaffold

Awoke in disbelief
That I could get so out of hand
Not seeing the extent
Of his back lash

Funny thing that I can help
All the beaten women that I see
To free themselves
And live in better times

With referrals to self help programs
They seem to find their way
And I
Am lost and alone

I don't want to hear the truth
I don't want to think the truth
I don't want to live the truth

Caught in the middle of my life
The tides of what was swirling around me
Making me wet and cold
Darkness sets in

I don't want to remember
The sad and bad
The fist and verbiage that cuts
Been mind set for too many years

Start each day as a new day
Live and forgive
The yelling will subside
And a smile will begin

I forgive too soon
Taking in the pain
Ignoring the truth
Wanting him back again

God, help me
Let me remember
To feel the pain
Of his abuse

Teach me that forgivness is not always the way
That to love myself is not being vain
Let me remember his cutting words
And the sting of his hand

God, help to get over the scent of my man
The sound of his silky voice
The feel of his embrace
And the ecstacy of our joining

Find me, oh Lord
Send me strength this day
And all the days
That I fall prey