Gary & Denise Phillips
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People say "I want peace." If you remove I (ego), and your want (desire), you are left with peace.
-- Satya Sai Baba
Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli
If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed.
-- Kate Halverson
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.
-- Olin Miller
I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde
When one finds oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous
When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender
Only positive consequenses encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard
There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man or woman who holds the job.
-- George Crane
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost
Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Polard
Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding this simple fact.
-- Terry Pratchette, "Moving Pictures"
If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot.
--Elayne Boosler
People only see what they are prepared to see.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln
You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton
I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner
Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N.D. Stice
Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer.
Outside of the killings, Washinton has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C.
I've never had major knee surgury on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennette, Unv. of KY bsktbl. frwrd.
Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra
No wonder nobody comes here - it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra
Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pestacide review board
There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Calvary.
-- George Armstrong Custer.
Tear open package, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package
I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheilbel, Mayor, St. Paul, MN