Synopsis
You hate the cats
they have fleas
and flying hair.
My children make noise
and play hide ‘n seek
in your house.
You worry,
God, how you worry.
After all,
all kids break things.
Me, well,
you must answer
to me:
Tell me where you are,
what you’re doing,
sit with me,
apologize for pampering yourself.
You must hide
those things from me
that you dislike
about yourself.
If I enjoy you
too much,
then the myth
must shatter
eventually,
so you hide
or run away.
You agreed with me
when you
did not agree.
My distorted visions
of you
are frightening.
Can you live
with them?
Then there are
my habits—
God knows
which ones
drive you mad,
you’ve never said.
Too many things,
I suppose,
too many things
for you to work out.
Soon I will leave
You here.
Time will decide
our romantic fate.
But,
I take with me
my memories
(wondering of those
left with you),
memories of
flower bouquets,
laughing summer days,
watching, learning you;
happy hours reading,
talking and cuddling in bed;
your kissing my hands
caressing my feet,
lovely things said;
hearing you laugh,
making love after running,
shopping at Goodman Lumber.
Regret
now tears at me
that I did not heed
the signs:
Your remarks of jealousy
toward her
and your worries,
your incessant worries,
that you’ll
“Do something dumb
to screw things up.”
I swept it away,
didn't want to believe it.
Haste
and human lives
don’t seem to mix well.
But what would have happened
had we waited?
Would you have
left me
in silence
in
Did you play act
for me
the person you
wish to be?
I believe him
to be you.
But who is the man
I see now
who prefers
to struggle
alone?
I want to reach out
to him,
to touch him,
to cradle and soothe him,
to make love to him,
talk and play,
to share happy and sorrowful times,
to laugh with him
and to cry with him.
But, he won’t let me,
he won’t let you.
He’s told me
to go home;
he doesn’t want
you to play
with me
anymore.
B.
Benjamin
Free
verse
Bbp101