Dying by Degrees

 

A world of pleasing,

A world of giving without receiving

Brings no value to the giver.

Just the tyranny of disrespect

And arrows of string in her quiver.

 

This world you cannot know

From where she comes.

Innocent are the acts

Of fathers, brothers, lovers, and sons---

They bring the pain within her wracks.

 

Harmony, equality, some respect---

So simple of things to expect;

'Tis nothing more that she seeks,

Yet so elusive, so distant

For a woman to achieve.

 

Beneath a crushing weight

Her thoughts, dreams, and ideas---

Her very soul slowly smothers,

And he sees not the smallest glint

Of the armor, though uncovered.

 

From wild eyes, a stinging river

Of grief and frustration flows,

She finds solace and comfort

From another woman,

For she knows--she knows.

 

For identity

Woman struggles,

Struggles against

An unseen force.

Through each encounter

Groping, groping---

A path that's blind,

O destructive course!

Her pleading cries

Bereft of words---

A feeling unmistakable---

Inscrutable---

Goes unheard.

Stolen liberties

Leave no clues

No path or trail

To show or prove

The perpetrator

Of the deed.                                                                                                                        

 

My new love,

This feeling of pain,

Please try to understand,

Is cast of invisible chains.

 

O new love,

Oh please, you must see

That this new pleasure

For me dies by degrees.

 

This something, unseen,

Felt, but hard to tell---

So hard to explain,

Leaves my body just a shell.

 

Each link, though small,

Added day by day,

Replaces bits of Me

And I fall away.

 

My power consumed,

I have no light

That shines upon you,

And which gives "Us" life.

 

Upon me settled those first links

Cast unknown by your hand,

Seizing them in terror, I fled

When you could not understand

My aching words that bled.

 

Now dying by degrees it is I

Alone and devastated,

The harsh silence resonates

In this paradox of solitude---

The reward for my escape.

                                                                                                             

B. Benjamin

BBP195