812: First Broadcast - 4 pm Saturday, June 14th 1997

Excellence Level: Sub-Par
Movie Pain: High - Actually makes me feel physically ill
Riffing: Induced mostly smiles
Skits: Same as above

      Blech!
If you feel TISCWSLABMUZ is "So bad it's good" and get a kick out of the thick slime that oozes from the screen, you'll probably be one of many who like this experiment.
     I'm not one of those folks. The movie gave me a headache and watching it felt like taking a sitz bath in battery acid. It's so bad I found it disrupted the flow of good stuff offered by M&TB! The flick's an unpleasant hallucinogenic; and normally I like weird... As long as it's coupled with a spirit of imaginative fun! This movie -about a punk (Director Ray Steckler) who unwittingly murders for a side show fortune teller- lacks that spirit and without it all we're left with is an eyeful of wretched sludge.
     As to the MSTing: There are solid riffs to be had. Heck, even my least favorite episodes provide a few laughs. The amount and intensity of my laughter is what differs from show to show and on that level, "Strange Creatures" falls woefully short. What struck my funny bone the most were the musical numbers -A Burlesque show is accompanied by "Little Drummer Boy"! The "Schick out of Shape" song! Crow's additions to a folk tune! And helping an older woman with her "Blink, Blang, Blooms" etc... A few of the skits were cute (I got a kick out of the Walk-A-Thon acronyms) and there's a great Beatles quip "Help! I need somebody...".
     Apart from these moments this wasn't an episode that entertained me. I didn't laugh at Servo freaking out. I didn't love Ortega. He is simply a grimy bush league Torgo, who isn't half as enjoyably quirky to watch and mock. I didn't have a good time and that's the bottom line. In my opinion this is the most grossly over-rated episode in the shows history. Blech!

Host Segments
Intro: Walk-A-Thons on the SOL. Segment 1: Mike gets a T-Shirt from Tom, Pearl gives the Space Children a ride home and the SOL receives a live feed from Bobo and Brain Guy Segment 2: Crow uses Tom's head as a crystal ball and reads Mike's fortune. Segment 3: It's haircut day on the SOL, Mikes 'doo' goes on for miles. Segment 4: Ortega caters the movie break. End: Mike rides the bots roller coaster and Pearl meets the parents. Stinger: Foreign guy sez, "What do you think we came here for, to eat... or read", or something like that

Notable Riffs
*"The size of the word 'presents' makes me think they feel a little sheepish about it." - Mike
*"The title has appendices!" - Servo
*"Cinematography by Zapruder." - Servo
*"Every time I get near one (a cat), strange things happen to me" - "Like when I grew antlers" - Dancer/Mike
*"She's the most masculine man I've ever seen." - Crow
*"If you lived here you'd be depressed by now." - Mike
*"Guess the Genders and win a free cocktail!" - Mike
*"He won't sleep if you keep hitting the steadicam on his head!" - Mike
*"I dedicate this song to Sylvia Plath" - Crow
*"Will work for salve" - Mike
*"Even the normally sharp Ortega seems confused" - Crow
*"It sounds like someone's playing a cow" - Crow
*"Well, Let me take your last known photo" - Mike as Mom
*"His hair must need a drink of water" - Crow
*"Phoebe Cates, on sale today!" - Mike
*"Squiggy, Jackie O... Morrissey" - Servo
*"Ortega taco shells are made from People!" - Mike
*"Western zombie music, a short lived fad" - Mike