june

J U N E
a flaming torch... a bitter heart

Developed a strange fascination with my bedroom window, the grimy one facing west. I love leaning against the glass, looking far out, thinking, brooding, sighing...

Sebastian decided to leave the mind farm today. His doctor said he failed to return to his chamber after the usual morning jaunt. There's an irate posse out to bring him back, alive of course. Wonder if Lydee's actually worried. She ought to be.

Sneaked into the flower shop while a brief storm raged in the early afternoon. I stole a bunch of yellow tulips again and escaped like a successful criminal. I'm now officially the district's notorious tulips robber. I soaked the flowers in ice cold water and stared at the the yellow blooms until the rain ceased. Moments later I fell asleep only to be awaken by a commotion from next door. Somebody was yelling bloody murder and another was screaming for her to shut up. Sometimes, I wonder why I live here. Must be the cheap rent. . . .

WHO AM I ? God, I think I've gone batty. But seriously... who am I really?
I REFUSE to think that my mind's unhinged! It's not my fault if some tenants at my building are starting to whisper that I'm a weirdo. I can hear the walls murmur whenever I walk by the hallway. What do I care? I never liked the silly buggers. Except for sweet Mrs. Bat of course..

LYDEE must really die... I refuse to let her become happy. Happiness shall only be
coveted by ME. Hope she falls off a ravine. Hope she chokes on her latte. Hope
she gets stung by killer bees... I'm not a very NICE person.

LOVE hurts... Love is a disease. It is a festering sore. It is an infernal ache that gnaws into the deepest secret chamber of the soul. I HATE LOVE. I LOATHE LOVE. I shall mock and spit on this ridiculous condition. I shall form a notorious society where cold heartless
cretins like me can have endless discussions about universal nonsense and freely question
the garbage of manufactured truths foisted upon the entire human race. Yes, I am a maniacal, diabolical perpetrator of pointless crimes and global mischiefs. Hmmmm...
perhaps I need a posh costume. Must contact Giorgio Armani soon!

Headmasters Ritual by The Smiths

Belligerent ghouls run Manchester schools
Spineless swines, cemented minds
Sir leads the troops, jealous of youth
Same old suit since 1962
He does the military two step down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home, I don't want to stay
Give up education as a bad mistake
Mid-week on the playing fields, Sir thwacks you on the knees
Knees you in the groin, elbow in the face
Bruises bigger than dinner plates
I wanna go home, I don't want to stay

Belligerent ghouls run Manchester schools
Spineless bastards all
Sir leads the troops, jealous of youth
Same old jokes since 1902
He does the military two-step down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home, I don't want to stay
Give up life as a bad mistake
Please excuse me from gym
I've got this terrible cold coming on
He grabs and devours
He kicks me in the showers
I wanna go home, I don't want to stay

I just love this song... MORRISSEY is the greatest in my book.

Why do I have this strange feeling that Sebastian is lurking somewhere? I swear I can feel him getting closer and closer. I started bolting all possible entrances to my
apartment. Must be really paranoid. But what is it to be frightened about anyway? I do miss the poor lunatic. He's a wonderful chap, my darling crazy Sebastian...

"Sneaky glance across the room, a blatant reminder. A picture fixed above the bed, means you belong here. Bundles of love notes so protected. Pages of dangerous words listing everything. In seriously purple prose but heaven knows all what it means. I resolve, I resolve. I mean never to forget you. Never to forget you..."

Never to Forget You by The Lover Speaks

great song I must say. I wonder if there are earthlings out there who know this song... but hey, KAI knows what I'm talking about... I LOVE YOU and it's
killing me.

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