Part 8
Dawson Leery was bored and annoyed. Sighing he waited for her to stop. Jesus, she was only three years older than him. And the Doors weren’t the greatest thing since sliced bread. The greatest thing since sliced bread was premade, precut cookie dough. The kind that made cookies with next to no effort. It wasn’t like Dawson had ever cared that much about music to begin with, he cared only as much as it made Gretchen happy to have him care. If that made any sense at all. And she was still talking. Dawson mimed a noose around his neck, the hanging he wished would get him out of this lunch date.
“Seriously you missed something big never seeing Jim Morrison in concert, it’s a spiritual event, Dawson. Dawson?” Gretchen Witter turned to look at her boyfriend, who was busy stabbing himself with straws. “You’re not even listening,” she stated sulkily.
“I am listening. Doors. Morrison. Spiritual. Got it. But, Gretch you never saw them in concert either so this whole conversation is a tad ridiculous, don’t you think?” Dawson smiled patronizingly. He was being pretty nice about this. At least he thought he was. Until she blew out an exasperated breath, threw him a death glare and strode away from the table. Well that went well. “Gretchen...” Dawson tried half heartedly.
Lately everything was halfhearted, if even that. At first, his relationship with Gretchen had felt like wish fulfillment. His first crush liked him back. Wanted him. And then reality set in. Gretchen was more experienced. She liked different things. She wasn’t the girl he’d dreamed of all those nights. He felt, he felt....disappointed. Empty. At times when he least expected it he found vague flashes of doubt hit him, paralyze him. Other times, he imagined Joey feeling like this when she was dating him. Deceived and misunderstood. Shaking the thought away, a new one replaced it....Kaylie.
Dawson found himself thinking of her in the oddest moments now. He still saw her hand, clenched tight around a silver ring, pitching the metal band in an angry arc across the hall. He still saw how pale her face was, how composed and drained all at once. How empty she was. How when he looked into her eyes, he couldn’t find his own reflection. How easily she dismissed him. He sat at the empty table for several minutes in silence. He was still watching her hand the silver strike the linoleum, still hearing her steps quick and quaking, still knowing by the slight tremble of her shoulder that her outward calm was crumbling. And the image filled him, made his own hands shaky, his breath a little hesitant.
Kaylie entered Leery’s Fresh Fish with a soft smile. Joey Potter was quick on her heels, which was becoming strangely routine. The girls were becoming fast friends. Kaylie was grateful for Joey’s kindness, her comfort. Joey admired Kaylie’s strength. Kaylie tried her best to be a good friend, to live up to Joey’s expectations. She was used to living up to things, no matter what. She’d reached an all time low on the beach with Steven that night, a low she refused to repeat. Mistakes were not hers to make. She was finally ready to look at Capeside through fresh eyes, ones that saw it as a brand new start, not a punishment. And she was determined to keep Joey’s friendship, to keep Pacey’s. Pacey was special. Someone she had wondered about, someone she planned to....she had no plans. Kaylie shook her head once to clear it and focused on reaching a table unscathed. Seeing Dawson Leery staring at her doe eyed was not part of her plan. But she saw him.
Joey waved at Dawson and headed over to his table, with Kaylie in tow. Not him. Kaylie thought. She just didn’t have any respect for a boy with an E.T. doll and a ladder. A ladder for girls to climb in and out. Please. It was amazing he had ever attracted any to make the trek. Of course the ladder and the E.T. doll were things she shouldn’t know about. Things only someone who knew Dawson well would know. Or someone who knew someone. The ladder was gone now. And Kaylie refused to receive anymore....she sighed and thought better of continuing in her present train of thought. Some things were better kept secret. Someones too.
Plastering a grin on her face, she sat down as Dawson held out a chair. His fingers brushed against her back as he released the back of the chair. She slammed her foot hard into his when it moved near hers under the table. Dawson yelped in pain and Joey flashed a raised eyebrow at him and then at Kaylie, who wore a barely concealed smirk on her face. Dawson flashed a dirty look her way. Kaylie bit down a laugh and scanned the menu and his face in equal measure. He stared back, his eyes warming a little under her gaze. He half heartedly stuck his tongue out at her. Kaylie looked down at the menu, avoiding his gaze for the rest of the meal. Joey rolled her eyes at the two of them.
The three failed to notice they were being watched as they exited the restaurant together. The blue convertable pulled away from the curve quickly leaving Kaylie with the unsettling sound of pealing rubber against heated pavement. She looked up and searched the empty street as Joey and Dawson commenced in the dance of uncomfortable small talk they now used as conversation. Seeing nothing Kaylie breathed a small sigh of relief and flashed a warning look of hatred Dawson’s way as a preemptive strike against future flirting. The twinge of fear settled into the tips of her fingers and the shaking of her hands faded with the light of the setting sun.