Part 18
how sweet it is to be loved by you
how sweet it is to be loved by you
i needed the shelter of someone’s arms
and there you were
i needed someone to understand my ups and downs
and there you were
Pacey rapped on the door soundly. And then he stepped away. Turning back, he contemplated leaving. As he started to walk away the door knob turned and he heard footsteps behind him. Two short clicks from a woman’s high heeled pumps. Music drifted onto the porch from an upstairs room, Pacey guessed it must be Kaylie’s. He stared up at the open window, light lavender curtains blowing gently in the wind. Momentarily lost in thought, he almost forgot about the lady standing in front of him.
with sweet love and devotion
deeply touching my emotion
“Pacey,” Mrs. Roberts’ voice was softly knowing. She picked at a piece of lint on her gray sweater, brushed down her black wool skirt, the material swaying around her knees gently. Pacey stared down at her black leather shoes, the heels a little scuffed and worn. He darted a hesitant glance up at her face and was entranced by the way her blonde hair curled under her ears, pushing her gold hoop earrings up on her lobes awkwardly. Her feet moved gracefully backwards, reminding him of dance steps he’d practiced under Penny Pretty’s tutelage. She held out a delicate hand, thumb and index finger curved to each other like a ballerina, and gestured towards the inside of the house. “Would you like to come in?”
Pacey nodded slowly. “Yeah.” He swallowed and followed Mrs. Roberts’ clicking heels into the small living room. He turned and looked mildly panicked as she pulled a sliding door closed, effectively secluding the two of them from the rest of the house.
“Sit?” Mrs. Roberts smiled genuinely and tilted her head to the sofa. Pacey sat and crossed a leg nervously. He darted a glance over at the closed doors, another towards the ceiling, where music still played insistently in the background. He flashed a hesitant grin at Mrs. Roberts, who sat across from him in an armchair. She crossed her ankles primly and watched him intently.
i wanna stop and thank you baby
i wanna stop and thank you baby
how sweet it is to be loved by you
feels so fine
The quiet stretched out minute after minute. Every time Pacey started to open his mouth he changed his mind and shut it firmly. Mrs. Roberts eyed him without comment. Pacey was beginning to go crazy. He didn’t really have a clue why he was still sitting there. He’d come over in the first place to see-well, that was another problem. He wasn’t sure whether he’d come to see Kaylie or Tamara. He certainly hadn’t expected to spend the afternoon staring at Anna Roberts.
But here he was. And there she was. Still waiting.
She seemed to know what was supposed to happen and she seemed to believe he should be the first to speak. Desperate beyond belief after the silence dragged on to its twenty-sixth minute, he cleared his throat and began. “I’m here to see...that is, I was wondering,” Pacey stuttered, distracted by the music, the realization that the same song had been playing for nearly half an hour, “Who sings that song?”
how sweet it is to be loved by you
how sweet it is to be loved by you
If Anna was surprised by Pacey’s question it didn’t show. Her face was tranquil. “James Taylor. Pretty, isn’t it?” She smiled and tapped a finger against the armrest in time to the music.
i close my eyes at night
“Very,” Pacey agreed, breaking into a relieved grin. The music slowly faded out and promptly the song began again, a touch louder than before. Anna’s brow furrowed slightly and a small wrinkle appeared on the bridge of her nose. “Must be a household favorite,” Pacey added lamely.
how sweet it is to be loved by you
how sweet it is to be loved by you
i needed the shelter of someone’s arms
and there you were
i needed someone to understand my ups and downs
and there you were
“Kaylie likes music,” Anna commented distractedly. Her eyes were cast toward the ceiling for the first time since she’d let Pacey into the house. Glancing back at Pacey, she frowned. “She won’t see you, if you’re here for her.” Her tone indicated she believed otherwise.
Pacey sat up a little straighter, staring earnestly at Mrs. Roberts. He sniffed once and his leg fell from it’s casual position. “I’m not,” he said deliberately, “here for her. I don’t think. I came to-”
“See Tamara,” Anna supplied, cutting him off. “I think it’s a mistake, Pacey.” Her stare was frank and her tone was gently curt. She stood and straightened the hem of her skirt. The volume on the music raised once again. Turning to the door, she paused, not looking back. “I’ll get her for you. I have to see my daughter,” she said, then lowering her tone a level, her look pointed, “You should be here to see Kaylie.” And with that, she slid the door open, walked through and left Pacey behind.
i close my eyes at night
wondering where would i be without you in my life
Pacey stood up and stared out into the hall from his place near the couch. The music made the floor beneath his feet vibrate.
everything i did was just a bore
everywhere i went seems i’d been there before
And it was getting louder.
but you brighten up for me all of my days
look so sweet in so many ways
i wanna stop and thank you baby
i just wanna stop and thank you baby
Stepping over to the doorway, Pacey could vaguely hear the sound of opening doors upstairs, a trio of female voices. He wasn’t sure whether they were yelling or singing, it all blended into the music. Which ended abruptly. Two voices could be heard clearly from the second story of the house. “Go downstairs, Tammie,” Kaylie spit out contemptuously.
“Kaylie,” came the soft, tired warning from Anna Roberts. A door slammed shut in reply and the music blared loudly.
you were better to me than i was to myself
for me there’s you and there aint nobody else
i wanna stop and thank you baby
i just wanna stop and thank you baby
Mrs. Roberts’ knocking sounded frantic to Pacey’s ears. Incongruent with the relaxed padding of Tamara Jacobs’ bare feet against the carpeted steps. Pacey felt dread hit him out of nowhere as he looked up to see his former lover smile confidently at him, her hair messily curled, her light tank and worn jeans a stark contrast from Anna Roberts’ conservative appearance. Tamara almost skipped towards him. Her smile widened and she held out her arms to him, drawing his stiffening body into a close embrace. Upstairs, the pounding grew more insistent, the music louder still, and Pacey could swear he heard Anna Roberts crying softly. Begging almost.
how sweet it is to be loved by you
“Pacey, it’s good to see you,” Tamara enthused, her tone warm and familiar. She trailed a hand along his ribcage seductively. Pacey looked down at her hand and took a deep breath. Stepping away from her advances, he smiled tightly.
“You too, Tamara.” His hand rubbed the denim of his jeans nervously. His eyes darted over Tamara’s shoulder towards the stairs.
She raised an eyebrow just a bit. “You came to see me, Pacey,” she reminded him gently.
“I did,” he admitted softly.
“Was there a reason?”
There was a long pause. Didn’t she hear the screaming upstairs? Pacey looked at Tamara, smiling questioningly at him, then allowed a short glance back over to the sound of the music, the knocking, the crying. “I-I don’t remember, actually. Sad really, huh? Losing my mind at the ripe old age of eighteen. I just sorta found myself at your doorstep,” he said, lightly, “and I figured, as long as I’m here...might as well stop by and make with the pleasantries.”
“How are you?”
Pacey took a deep breath. “Fine, fine. And you?”
“Well, thank you.”
how sweet it is to be loved by you
He looked at the floor. She was wearing toe rings. Finally, he plunged ahead. “You have a daughter.”
how sweet it is to be loved by you
how sweet it is to be loved by you
Her eyes widened visibly. “That I do.” It was her turn to stare at the floor. The music stopped abruptly and the silence was deafening.
“I was just wondering why--,” he stopped abruptly, gazing off into the middle distance.
“Why?” Her voice came in a shallow whisper.
Anna Roberts stepped down the stairs quickly, skipping a step or two on the way, grasping the rail to keep her balance. She raced into the kitchen, heels clicking like the rain on a tin roof. Pacey stared over at her, momentarily distracted. She threw open a cupboard below the sink. There was a clattering of jars being moved before she reappeared in the hall with a screwdriver clenched in one small hand, a cell phone in the other. Then she disappeared back up the stairs.
“Why what?” Tamara’s voice rose to an angry hiss.
“I just wanted to know why you left her.”
She shrugged and met his eyes evenly. “It was the easiest thing to do.”
Pacey didn’t have time to respond, wouldn’t have even been able to come up with a response. The sound of knocking on the door upstairs was louder, the small scratching sound of screws being loosened heard in between the pounding. He left Tamara where she was, standing hands on hips, an icy frown settled on her lips.
Without thinking, he walked out of the house, stared up at the open window where the music had been. He looked at the drainage pipe that snaked up the side of the house. Turning he noticed a large tree, the branches reaching out towards the window. And with that he set about climbing. Scaling the trunk of the tree was easy enough, Pacey was able to gain footholds in the thick bark, was tall enough to reach higher branches. Heaving himself up to the sturdiest branch near the window, he appraised the empty air between him and the house. A good three feet. Shit. Damn Joey for making him watch Pollyanna twice. He lay down against the branch, his chin grazing the tree limb. He inched out further on his stomach. Craning his neck, Pacey could see into the window. He scanned the room, a difficult task considering his view was obscured by his position. He raised up on his elbows a bit, tensing when the branch swayed under his weight, and that’s when he saw her.
Kaylie sat on her floor, cross legged, a teddy bear in her lap. She leaned back against the door, her head tilted sideways. Her eyes were closed, lips pressed into a thin line.
“Hey Kaylie.”
Her eyes widened and searched the room. Pacey wondered if she could see him from where she was, probably not. Clearing his throat, he strived for a casual tone. “In the tree.”
The teddy bear fell to the floor as she stood, staring out the window, lips quirked slightly. Her voice was weary. “What are you doing, Pacey?”
“Hanging out.”
She bit her lip and let out a small, “Huh.” It was a burst of air between a sob and a chuckle. “In my tree?” One eyebrow arched.
“I was in the neighborhood.” He shrugged and yawned. “What ya up to, Kay?”
Her eyes searched his. She took a step closer to the window. “Listening to music.”
“Cool.” Pacey attempted to sit up and decided against it as the branch seemed to take a dip. His muscles flexed as his arms gripped the branch tightly. “So, your mom’s outside your door.”
“Is she really?” Kaylie took a sharp breath in and walked over to her stereo system, one eye on the tree branch. She flicked on the stereo, winced at the volume, turning the dial down, and skipped ahead a few tracks, searching for a song. Not finding what she wanted, she frowned and turned the music off. “I didn’t notice,” she said matter of factly. She stepped over to her window, resting her forearms against the ledge, bending at the waist a bit. One ankle twirled behind her, moving to an imaginary beat.
“Yeah, well maybe you couldn’t hear her over the music,” he continued, “But she’d really like you to come out. I’m guessing. Since she even took tools upstairs with her. No offense, but your mom doesn’t look all that handy.” He grinned slowly. His eyes told a different story.
Kaylie crossed her arms and regarded him sternly. “I don’t feel like coming out,” she said haughtily.
“Yeah, you and Deputy Dougie both.”
Kaylie sniffed and gazed up at him icily.
“Well, if you wanna be a baby and stay in there, that’s your business. I just thought you were above that. Seriously, this is Dawson-style self indulgent.”
“Fuck you, Pacey.”
“You wish.” He gave her a level stare, the frank tone forcing her eyes to the ground. A tear made a hot wet path down her cheek. She held her hands at her side, stubbornly refusing to wipe it away. Her response was mumbled and he leaned a little closer, his upper body precariously balanced over the empty air to hear her.
“Maybe.” Her eyes widened and she took several steps backwards. She started to pull the curtains closed. Pacey held out a hand and took a deep breath. He jumped from the branch to the window ledge and had to scramble desperately to catch hold with a shaking hand. Kaylie gasped and peered out her window. “Pacey?”
“I wanted to hang out some more,” was the weak reply. He stared up at her and reached a hand up to her. She offered her small hand to him and pulled up, bringing Pacey waist high with the ledge. He pushed himself the rest of the way, tumbling into the window awkwardly. Pacey strode across to the door, opening it quickly.
He found Mrs. Roberts on her knees, screwdriver in hand, cell phone clutched in trembling fingers. Glancing back into the room he looked at Kaylie questioningly. She held up a pulled phone line with a grim smirk. Mrs. Roberts stood and squeezed Pacey’s hand gratefully. She made an attempt to enter Kaylie’s room, but was stopped by Kaylie’s pained look. Kaylie turned to stare out the window, arms circling herself protectively. Mrs. Roberts stepped away and hoarsely called out, “Kaylie, I’ll talk to you tonight.”
“Okay.” Kaylie’s shoulders sagged, her lithe form blurred as it shook. “I’m sorry.”
“No apologies necessary.” Pacey closed the distance between them and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, the other circling her waist.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” her voice was chilled. It threw him off for a second.
“Alright,” he started, “You’re mad. So am I. Can’t we just put that aside for a bit? Pretend it didn’t happen?”
She spun out of his embrace. Her eyes were wild. “What exactly are we pretending about? The kiss? Tammie? There’s really no point.”
“Point?” Pacey protested, confused. “Hey, I’m the one who was lied to.”
She chuckled bitterly. “ And you wouldn’t lie to anyone. Right? I don’t need any pity.”
“Hey,” he exploded, “I just climbed a tree and jumped in a goddamned window for you.” Taking a deep breath, Pacey clenched his fists at his sides. Kaylie watched his hands, her eyes blinking rapidly. He finished in a restrained whisper. “I care about you. It’s not pity.”
“I was listening to music and you decided to play Tarzan, that’s not my fault.” She backed away a step. “I don’t need any white knight act, Pacey, so go polish your armor elsewhere.” Her eyes flashed. “Like the B&B. Go play hero with Joey. Since you have such an open, honest relationship.” And with that, Kaylie shoved him out the door, slamming it shut behind her. Pacey banged a fist against the wall in frustration and let out a groan when the music went on again, louder than before.
how sweet it is to be loved by you
how sweet it is to be loved by you
just like jelly baby
how sweet it is to be loved by you
just like honey to the bee baby
Kaylie heard the sound of footsteps receding into the distance. She heard Pacey pull his car out of the driveway. Frowning, she turned off the music and hit her forehead against her palm with a smack.