Seems these other talk show hosts has been askin Jerry how to make their shows as good as his, so Jerry done said he would hold a workshop to show them the tricks a the trade.
Among the talk show host that's gonna be attendin is Okra Whitney, Hernaldo Riviera, Regis Filbert, Kelly Ripple, Brian Gumbo, Sally Jeffrey Rachael and David Leatherman.
"If these people want to be initiated into the world of trailer trash," Jerry Springer done said, "there's no place better to start than Opelousas County."
Little King, Opelousas County's well-known Elvis impersonator, is takin him a parade a stars with him. Ann-Margaret, Connie Stevens, Milton Berle, Tim Conway, Harvey Korman and Vickie Lawrence. Little King done tried to get Carol Burnett too, but she done said she only does one show a year and she done that television spechul that lots a people watched. For the younger troops, Little King done got Hanson and Debbie Gibson to perform. Little King was at Bob Hope's house last week helpin him record a video taped message fer the troops that's gonna be part a the show too.
"There was a problem with Ann-Margaret's wardrobe," Little King done said. "She just wanted to take too many sparkly clothes and they wasn't gonna fit on the airplane. But we got it all worked out. We done sent her clothes over to Afghanistan last week. Now I just hope her sparkly dresses don't get mixed up with my sparkly spechul made capes."
Little King, son a Festus Joe and Bertha Mae Shark, is plannin on singin lots a Elvis songs and lots a Christmas songs. He done thinks Osama bin Laden hisself might come outta hidin fer a show like that. He done said if Osama does show up, he gots plans fer the $25 million reward, but he wouldn't say no more than that.
Jimmy Joe's mamma, Ruthie Lou, said she's plum proud a her little boy. She said she don't know how Jimmy Joe's daddy feels bout the whole thing cuz he done disappeared when he done thought there might be a draft fer that Dessert Storm war.
"We just knows that Jimmy Joe's gonna help capshure that rascal Osama bin Laden," Ruthie Lou done said. "When Jimmy Joe was a youngun he was always playin in caves and such, an always playin with guns, so he's used to the kind a stuff they's doin down to Afghanistan."
Ruthie Lou done said if Jimmy Joe gits part a the $25 million reward money they's gonna buy matchin double wide trailers and all the furnichure and such from down to the Wal-Mart that they can load in Jimmy Joe's pickup truck.
"I get a might said cuz Jimmy Joe prolly won't be home fer Christmas," Ruthie Lou done said, "but I'm plum proud a my little boy."
Festus Joe has been abducted by space aliens somewhere in the neighborhood a 30 times, but he can't rightly recall every single time.
"I don't rightly know if I'd be an expert or whatnot. I just dearly love them space aliens, and they seem to be keen on me," Festus Joe done said. "I think it's cuz I'm a good specimen."
"I hope they don't take him up their space ship too soon," his wife Bertha Mae done said. "I want him to be home fer Christmas and to see the live television broadcast a Little King's show fer the troops."
"I done told Bertha Mae them space aliens would have me home fer Christmas," Festus Joe done said. "Them space aliens done knows how important holidays is."
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A long-haired hippie boy from California and his wife from Pennsylvania done moved into the trailer park. Relyible sorces say she's some kinda investigative reporter like that Hernaldo Riviera, but no one done knows what she's investigatin. |
Emma Nadine Swarts done got herself killed when divin into a dumpster, like she always done on Monday mornins, but she didn't know the trash truck was comin. That trash truck done smashed her. Her family was a might sad that they was gonna have to have a closed casket so no one could see the purty dress she done picked out fer her burial. |
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