| some days just shouldn't happen because they are so meaningless. bad days we can say we learned something from or "phew i'm glad thats over" and good days make u happy. but days like today...they have no purpose. days you might as well not have gotten out of bed. better yet, that we could've skipped over. today wasn't bad. not really. but it wasn't really good either. it was just there. everyone's in a terrible mood. really touchy. as am i. i can't get comfortable in what i wear no matter how many times i change. i can't decide what to do even though i have millions of things yelling for my attention. it was a pretty day. the first day of spring. but somehow i didn't appreciate it enough, and that for some reason makes me upset. cause now its over and tomorrow it might rain and i just missed my chance on today. my ex's girlfriend is talking to me on instant messenger. that's always interesting. isn't that weird really? when you really think about it? it always seems weird to me. but then lots of things seem weird to me because i think about them too much. i like fiona apple. tidal is a great cd for melancholy moods. you should try it. well i'm gona go find something to do. maybe read a book. or eat something (eating for boredom theres a healthy habit lol). oh well. thats what i think about today. "oh well" -angel everything's weird when you think about it too much - when I'm way high and everythings lost an immediate context I contemplate things forever and everything seems so weird.� we can analyze things to death but it's best just to let things be because everybody is really really alike in a lot of ways and going through the same stuff, but nobody talks about it - when I'm high I don't understand why people don't feel more solidarity with each other - why do we push other people away because if we really wanted to we could easily understand and relate to each other but we don't. Then again, when you really think about it sometimes even the things that we normally consider really weird - like the experience of talking to your ex-girlfriend are really just fine and normal - what's *isn't* normal when look at it from the universal perspective - you know it's just people. that's another thing I think when I'm high and it's kind of helped me accept things that would otherwise make me really uncomfortable, like crying in front of my dad and stuff like that.� there's no reason to feel weird or uncomfortable because your human and that's normal and it's ok.� sometimes i wish everyone were high all the time, except for the driving and stuff, because then we would be ok with each other and with emotions and with things that happen - and would know what was important and what wasn't because if we did then everything would be fine..- but somedays should just never happen at all - then again everybody has those days -literally ..- and always feel like they're the only ones who do. that's the problem with people - they always feel so alone and like they're the only ones who feel the way they do - it's the preteen syndrome that somehow lasts throughout our lifetime to some degree..-� you should start reading harry potter and as a matter of fact I'm listening to Fiona Apple right now..- -nat |