The Radio: [Vernon catches Bender playing basketball in the gym]
Bender: Don't you want to hear my excuse? I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship.

Andrew: Speak for yourself.
Bender: Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.

John Bender: Screws just fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.

[Claire is doing Allison's make-up.]
Claire: You know, you look a lot better without all that black shit under your eyes.
Allison: Hey, I like all that black shit... Why are you being so nice to me?
Claire: Because you're letting me.

Claire Standish: You know why guys like you knock everything?
John Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.
Claire Standish: It's because you're afraid.
John Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy into activities.
Claire Standish: You're a big coward.
Brian Johnson: I'm in the math club.
Claire Standish: See, you're afraid that they won't take you, you don't belong, so you have to just dump all over it.
John Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes, now would it?
Claire Standish: Well, you wouldn't know, you don't even know any of us.
John Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers, but I'm not going to run out and join one of their fucking clubs.
Andrew Clark: Hey! Let's watch the mouth, huh?
Brian Johnson: I'm in the physics club too.
John Bender: Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about?
Brian Johnson: Well, what I had said was i'm in the math club, the latin and the physics club...physics club.
John Bender: Hey, Cherry! Do you belong to the physics club?
Claire Standish: That's an academic club.
John Bender: So?
Claire Standish: So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs.
John Bender: Ah...but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?
Brian Johnson: In physics we...uh...we talk about physics, properties of physics.
John Bender: So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?

Allison Reynolds: Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birthdate's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913.
Andrew Clark: Wow! Are you psychic?
Allison Reynolds: No.
Brian Johnson: Well, would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?
Allison Reynolds: I stole your wallet.

Andrew Clark: If I lose my temper you're totalled, man.
John Bender: Totally?
Andrew Clark: Totally.

John Bender: Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

John Bender: Being bad feels pretty good, huh?

John: Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy!

John: I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.

Andrew Clark: You don't have any goals.
John Bender: Oh but I do.
Andrew Clark: Yeah?
John Bender: I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need, is a lobotomy and some tights.
Brian Johnson: You wear tights?
Andrew Clark: No I don't wear tights. I wear the required uniform.
Brian Johnson: Tights.
Andrew Clark: Shut up.

John Bender: Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian Johnson: Uh, no. Mr. Johnson.

John Bender: You get along with your parents?
Andrew Clark: Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right?
John Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too.

Richard Vernon: What if your home... what if your family... what if your *dope* was on fire?
John Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.

Andrew: What do you need a fake I.D. for?
Brian: So I can vote!

Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.

John Bender: Excuse me, Dick. I mean, Rich, will milk be made available to us?
Claire Standish: I have a really low tolerance for dehydration.
Andrew Clark: I've seen her dehydrate, sir, it's pretty gross.

Allison: When you grow up, your heart dies.

Richard Vernon: What was that ruckus?
Andrew Clark: Uh, what ruckus?
Richard Vernon: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.
Brian Johnson: Could you describe the ruckus, sir?

Andrew: Two hits, me hitting you, you hitting the floor.