her pale skin
was freckled with red
after a long night of fighting with the demons
which haunted her for finally too long
her swollen eyes
were glistening with tears
after some time of holding them back
and now they lie glazed over-
a dried up paper rose holds no scent
a dried up paper girl holds no emotion
deep pink ina sea of transparency...
...the only words she need say
her soft lips
trembling with sadness
after a long time of posing in a smile
have now permanently been turned to a frown
(dented the walls)
with fists of contentment
injured her hand
made one final statement
YOUR WORDS DO NOT HURT ME
(your lies do not bruise)
i simply feel empty...
what have i to loose?
i refuse to fall asleep dead
-wake up with life in my hands
but it's too late
...everything's always too late
can't stand looking out my window
seeing
nothing
but
fog
my pen looks 10 miles away
why can't i bring it back in?
ANSWER ME
i never get any answers
aren't i worth it?
aren't i worth listening to?
i thought everyone had a purpose
can't stand not being able to see
take this
black
veil
off
what a fierce grip it has around my eyes
too many words
not enough room
not enough room for me in this world
and i step off...
what's this i see?
the insides of me
spewed onto the floor
spewed into my eyes
discouraging my actions
my limbs have gone numb
my face has gone blank
i made a fist and broke this life
i made a pact and blew out these flames
i stood up tall
and was pushed back down
my sight lingered but was no longer found
blood stained tears
i don't belong here
i'm so happy
that i got to die in your arms
that i took my last breath inhaling you
i knowi it hurts you to remember this
but you found a hair on your shirt
it belonged to me
and i accidently gave it to you in my last moments
you brushed my dried up lips with your finger
washed away my tears when they mixed with yours
and dried up on my cold blue cheek
you dropped something in my bed
where i lie from now on
i was right there watching
but you didn't know it
and i picked it up after everyone left
and inhaled its fragrance
and i guess out of habit
i scratched my skin
but i don't bleed anymore
and suddenly i wished that i could
i want you to be able to see me
i want my color back
i want my tears to be flowing again
and i want you to be happy again
i'm so sorry
that i got to die in your arms
i surrounded myself with intelligent people
to discount the ones before
to maybe further my own intelligence
and i found myself lost
in a sea of big words and correct grammar
just barely remembering the times of misplaced words
and editing errors
and i still go along
unoriginal and dried up
waiting for my next big thought
as i rack my brain for the something that will let me sleep tonight
because i can barely see over the cloud of self doubt
that these people have placed on me
that wasn't there before, when i knew i was always right
and now i'm left questioning everything
because of the people i let in
what of the past?
is it gone forever?
somehow i miss the ignorane and innocence of the people i once knew
the fun minds and the number of unanswered questions
but now nothing is left except answers
nothing to grow on and no one to puzzle
i can only question and puzzle myself
and it's my own fault, i suppose
