insanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your car with sunglasses and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Insist that your e-mail address is:

4. Everytime someone asks you to do something ask if they want fries with that.

5. Encourage your collegues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

6. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".

7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

9. Finish all sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy."

10. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

11. Don't use any punctuation.

12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

14. Specify that your drive-thru order is to go.

15. Sing along at the opera.

16. Go to a poetry recital and ask why poems don't rhyme.

17. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

18. Five days in advance tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

19. Call the psycic hotline and don't say anything.

20. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name: Rock Hard.

21. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won! 3rd time this week!"

22. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

23. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the ones in your head that do."

24. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."

25. Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!"