This is the voice of Rtd. Captain Winterbottom, consultant Parade Instructor:

Dear Friends,
I have been told that I am your friend. Even though I was your previously your master,
accept me with my new name: Death Reliever.
It beats me that some of you are "Left" and others are "Right". How Right are
you? Which means means of production do you own? Do you own a steel plant?
A Rocket Launcher? A Chocolate industry? Which computer operating system
do you Africans own? Do you even own your natural resources?
During the days of Cold War with those Commie Soviets, I needed you to
sing Right, but I never intended you to come to my country and be an owner of
production. You want to be another up-coming Japanese capitalist?
All I wanted is for you to come, work, earn money and spend it all.
You want to be a "Right" owner of capital? You must do more than work hard.
It does not matter to me whether you are "Left" or "Right", I can march you all
to any destination by ordering Left Right Left Right Left Right................