This is the voice of Retired Captain Winterbottom; Lord of the Ringleaders:

My dear Africans, I often hear you talk about Houses of Mansions that are reserved for you after you serve me obediently and faithfully. Simpletons you are! How did I hear you? I am the unseen guest in your homes. I am even in most of your minds. I can never give you ownership of your countries' resources. If I knew of a place in the skies where there are many mansions, will I allow you people to know about it? As far as I am concerned such things are not for you; I have already been cheated by nature that gave you all the sunlight.

If you come to work in my country, you must not live better than me. If I come to work in your country, I must live many times better than you. That is my globalisation. Your standard of living has to be reduced so that I can maintain my own.

Your Africa is our cake that was shared in Berlin over a century ago. Nigeria turned out to be a very big share. I was so engrossed in eating Nigeria and other colonies that I did not notice those German Nazi guys who came and knocked me down from behind. I only managed to stand up with the help of the Americans. These guys turned out to be permanent rescuers, so my country has become the 51st state of the U.S. Those Nazi guys are bad, how can they turn around to try and colonise me, their major partner in natural resource burglary?