This is the Voice of Winterbottom: Master of MisEducation (M.MEd)

Cheer up Cheer up,
You my African children are finally trying to grow
up. Tired of being in infinite adolescence? From the
Eskimos of the North Pole to the Bushmen of the
Kalahari Desert, human beings have been doing fine
without my aid. But you the modern day African should
not , I repeat should not be able to do without me and
my modern-day missionaries; you must forever be in
need of my Salvation. Do not ask me how I saved
myself.
I gave you the much desired independence and you
let me in through your back door. Face it, you do not
need to grow up; my almighty dollar will do it for
you. For ever one cent I give you, I need to collect 1
dollar from you. You will not see me when I am carting
it out; after all, you do not know what money is.


 

Dear Friends,
I choose to call you as my friends because, I used to be your Master, but I am now your friend. Our friendship started from those days of your independence struggle.
I saw you had education, and to erase it, I brought in mis-education: Civil-Servant-producing schools, issuing Certificates of MisLearning. I needed manpower to assist me in evacuating wealth out of Africa; I could not get enough from Europe. There is no way I could risk teaching you technology; it was technology that I used to make machine guns and cannon that subjugated you. It was not the power of prayers, claimed by the curriculum that I designed for you.
When you wanted me to leave, I agreed. My loyal servants asked, "When are you coming back?". I assured them, "Do not worry, I will come back with a new name; Neo-Colonial Master". They were excited: "That name is very big, it means you are bringing goodies for us". I appointed them Prime Ministers. Those who opposed them, I cleared them off.

When I returned I was dressed in a immaculate suit. Your leaders asked me" What can you do for us?". I answered, " I can pick a peck of pickled pepper". "Very good. From now on, you will have the exclusive contract for picking pepper". After 3 years, the condition for being given the contract was put at 3 years experience. Since I was the only allowed to acquire the experience, I became the permanent contractor and consultant.