I am a forty-year old single dad of an eight-year old son named Christian. I live in the country on my great-grandfathers homestead next to my widowed mother.

Growing up, I attended church regularly with my family. As my father's alcoholism took hold and brought about bitterness and shame, I slowly drifted away from God and the church. I was thirteen. Since I felt emotional pain and anger, I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb and medicate those feelings.

Eventually I graduated from high school and, at the age of twenty, I married my high school sweetheart.Wanting to satisfy my wife and her family, I attended church - still drinking and drugging. I easily justified my ways and wasn't going to clean-up for nobody. As to be expected, our marriage was doomed from the start; we divorced in 1986.

I became angry and deeply bitter over the situation, but still remained in active addiction. I blamed my former wife for the divorce and resented her demands that I needed to change.

Over the next ten years I engaged in truly unhealthy relationships - choosing to become involved in "fixer" type situations. As long as I focused on trying to fix the other person's problems, I didn't have to hold the mirror up to myself.

Looking back, I became the type of person who was my dad. Not someone who was bearing fruit, but inside allowing the darkness of my addiction to rob me of the blessings of God.

In 1991, I met my son's mother and became involved in another unhealthy relationship. A part of my motive and thinking was that, if I had a child to raise, I would let go of my addiction and become a loving and caring person. While I convinced myself I was an active dad, the fact remained - I was still using drugs.

Eventually Valerie (my son's mother) and I, split up and resolved to work together in a civil manner to raise our son. Immediately I moved on to more unhealthy relationships, still engaging in my addiction. In 1997 I became so overwhelmed with unworthiness, shame and guilt that I put a loaded gun into my mouth in front of a former girlfriend.

But Father God reached down and pulled the gun out - clearly stating to me that He had a purpose for me that didn't include suicide.

As a result of this out of control behavior, I was arrested, (actually rescued) and began the process of cleansing and deliverance. The fourth month into my two-year sentence (of which I served nineteen months), I turned my life over to Jesus Christ ..... Praise God!

It was during the sixth month that I began a Bible study and prayer group in my 6'X10" cell each night. I could truly write a book on all the miracles I witnessed first hand while on the "inside".

In fact, I wrote to a few local churches during this time to request prayer lists . What a blessing it was to be on the inside, praying for those on the outside!

So many tears of joy were shed in that cell over the next thirteen months! God answered prayers that I, myself, had doubts about whether or not they would be answered.

Since my release in 1999, I have in turn become a member of the Thursten County Ministry Board, witnessing to the lost sheep of salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. I currently work in the construction field for a company that is owned by Christians. . . .Praise be to God!

My relationship with my son, Christian, has become truly blessed - as you enjoy those relationships that are based upon mutual love, trust, and devotion.

I have been attending a little country church, in which I serve as an usher and greeter. The congregation started out in 1999 being around twenty-five and has grown to 300. I have also become heavily involved in my community of Tenino, (population 1, 500), in drug and alcohol intervention programs for the youths and adults. Each morning I wake up and truly give Father God all praise and glory for ANOTHER DAY IN HIS PRESENCE.

"But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

Romans 8:11

OH, DADDY
By Curtis Bush
(former inmate)

Oh, Daddy, can you come out to play just one more time?
I promise to be a good boy and always mind.

Oh, Daddy, you always encourage me to do my best,
But time and time again I manage to do quite less.

Oh, Daddy, I always looked up to you with love and joy,
Hoping and praying that I could be just "your little boy."

Oh, Daddy, as the years rolled by and your disease took effect,
My heart became saddened and filled with regret.

Oh, Daddy, not till I heard the word "Daddy" myself,
Did I come to realize that you did your best, considering all else.

Oh, Daddy, Praise God for the words we finally shared,
That we loved each other truly and that we both cared.

Oh, Daddy, you will always be in my heart,
Committed to your loving memory, we will never be apart.

Oh, Daddy, if only we could play catch just one more time,
Then I will know that it is time to say. . . Goodbye.

Oh, Daddy. . . . . . . . . . . . .I LOVE YOU.

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Testimony of Ishfaq Boby

In 1997 I admitted Jesus to be my personal saviour. Since 1997 until now, I am performing ministry for my Saviour in different places. I am obeying the command of our Saviour (The Great Commission). I have the experience of new birth with the Holy Spirit in my life, and I have the desire to serve my Saviour in the next year, now and forever. Amen

Yours in Christ, Ishfaq Boby., Afghanistan

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THE REAL PEACE PROCESS BEGINS IN STOCKHOLM ?

Submitted by David Silver

February 27^th 2002
As the violence between Israelis and Palestinians continues it's seemingly impossible to halt the cycle, and as the Saudis suggest that Israel give back all of the land that the Lord has given them since 1967, including half of Jerusalem, in exchange for the "promise" of peace, the people who were present at a recent ' Israel Conference' at Agape Church in Stockholm have seen the reality of Jew and Arab not only living together in peace, but actually loving each other.
David Silver, a Messianic Jew and director of Out of Zion Ministries, based on Mt. Carmel in northern Israel, has been sharing the Lord's perspective on current events in the Middle East with Christians in Sweden. David is an evangelist and travels extensively sharing the Gospel with Jews and Gentiles alike and teaching Christians about the Lord's end time purposes for Israel and the Church.
This current mission is unlike any other David has undertaken, and perhaps is unlike any other mission ever under-taken. David is traveling with Salvatore Zeiton, an Israeli Arab Christian from Haifa, and the people who have come to the meetings in Stockholm have witnessed a prophetic display that a real peace between Arabs and Jews is attainable.
The conference began on Tuesday evening with both David and Salvatore preaching. This was the realization of a vision that David has had for some time, to travel 'Out of Zion' with an Arab brother and to personally do something that may help bring an end to 4000 years of the Arab/Jewish conflict which has cost the lives of so many on both sides. In a wonderful example of Arab/Jewish co-operation, Salvatore who does not speak English or Swedish, preached in Hebrew and David translated into English, which was then translated into Swedish.
On Wednesday, as the meeting began, things became even more interesting. Three olive skinned young men walked in and were introduced to David and Salvatore. Josef who was going to interpret from Arabic to Swedish for Salvatore, is an Arab Christian from Iraq. He brought two younger guys with him, new Christians whom he had led recently to the Lord in Stockholm. David was more than a little surprised as Josef introduced Amjud and Ashraf, both Palestinians from Nablus, a hot-bed of the Palestinian violence. But there was something very different about these three Arab men. They had a spark in their eyes and their faces shone with the love of Yeshua ( Jesus). At least one of them was wearing a Star of David, and in Hebrew they told David that they loved Israel.
In his message, David shared that the Lord desires to see the sons of Isaac and the sons of Ishmael reconciled. Satan has kept us at enmity with each other for 4000 years and only when both the Jews and the Muslims have a revelation that Yeshua is the Messiah and that they have both been wrong, will reconciliation be possible. When the world sees that the Jews and Arabs have finally been brought back together by coming to faith in Yeshua, many will be provoked to follow their example. The Lord is soon to return to Jerusalem. Now is the time for reconciliation. Now is also the time for the Church to be reconciled to her Biblical roots and the time for Christians to pray and intercede for the reconciliation of Isaac and Ishmael.
At the end of his message David asked all of the Arab brothers and any Jews in the room to come forward. Amazingly. there were 4 Arabs and 4 Jews. They embraced and greeted each other. David gave a gift to Josef as a prophetic token of reconciliation between their peoples. Prayer was then made for Muslims and Jews to have a revelation of Yeshua, and for the Lord's reconciliation between Israel and the Palestinians. Many came forward to pray and lay hands on the group of Jews and Arabs. Someone blew the Shofar.
What took place at this meeting became even more incredible upon hearing the news the next morning that at the very same time this was taking place in Stockholm, dreadful Intifada related violence was taking place in Nablus, the home town of Amjud and Ashraf, the two Palestinian brothers.

Report supplied by Out of Zion Ministries
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.out-of-zion.com

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THE BANGKOK RAIN THAT TEST FAITH

By Bongekile Ncala

(inmate, Bangkok, Thailand)

When one's faith is under siege, the valley of death resonates. The day I entered Thailand why didn't my olfaction sense detect death?

On a rainstorm day, I am distressed, setting outside the building where my dormitory is located. Sorrowfully, I am watching my mobile library ---- a synthetic tape bag that is perfectly drenched. All surrounding rivers have burst their banks and flooded Lardyao Women's Prison.

I've squeezed myself against the wall imitating the lizard, but wish to be a snail. What am I hiding for since there are no metal channels fixed under the edges of the roof to carry away the water when in rains? Nevertheless, my aim is to hide from the rain. A fall of ungodly drops hitting the ground, water splashes violently, reaching me without protest. Being immersed in the rain, the result is this hideous prison uniform on my body feels cold and slick. It has stuck to my body like glue, showing my feminine curves.

My eyes are wide open. My gaze is like a wound that radiates my deep seated pain outward, so that all upon whom it falls would know the need of relief. Holding to good memories - my mind paging through the files, is like an old aphorism.

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Bangkok rain is impatient - acid rain. How can I check if it is from the clouds or it is an act of God? Let it rain cats and dogs, who cares? Who knows that I am approaching six years in this dungeon, agonizing in prayer? Who knows my plight and what I am going through for survival?

Just can't see clearly, so opaque -- we're flooding!

Any volunteers - God, send people, aid for prisoners!

Should this be inscribed in my daily journal of patience, experience and remorse? Feelings that have tormented me for the past six years?

Oh, tears raining down my cheeks because I'm avoiding accepting suffering from which I enjoy no special immunity.

The devil may care that rain has washed away my faith. Seemingly, God's undivided attention is out of reach from Heaven. There is no reflection of sunshine from above, but the non-stop flow of rain in large quantities.

Would have been better if I had died the day of my incarceration!

Stop the rain! Somebody with supernatural powers, stop the rain or I quit! How many deaths I've experienced. How many more coming my way before my destiny?

The strained, empty stomach drives one's mind to disrespect nature's obstacles. So much is happening inside me, around Bangkok, and of course, far away overseas, too.

Right now it is time for studying, if conditions were conducive. Anyway, I'm seeking an avenue - an avenue to overcome and endure this pain, or malice that embitters me passionately.

An avenue for satisfying the most basic need that is a six letter word - HUNGER.

Hunger for food, freedom, and adequate shelter, nourishing food, least not formal education. Forget about my only possessions -- books, they swim their way to a Mecca-less grave.

People who die are free. This is the kind of freedom apparently attainable. This is the freedom that will bring my affliction to an end. This is the freedom that will relieve my family from the anguish of my long-term imprisonment.

Bangkok rain is noisy, shattering my ears in anticipation of the guard's call of hope.

The call can bring me happiness if my freedom is declared. The call can deliver disappointment if I have to be thrown back in my cell mercilessly. Doing time as I'm expected to finish my sentence, is stewing in one's own juice.

As cloudy as it may be, the day is still young. The driving rain is measured at my thigh length. My existence doesn't worry me at all right now. Is there any future? So much less I can do to help myself, seemingly inadequate.

My concern is far beyond my comprehension and reach. My love for my family and friends is my concern. Across the walls, the seas, that is where my mind and spirit is now. Even if I'm in the midst of the rain, my family and friends are there for me. How much can they tolerate? What can they do for me during this predicament? For how long - for how long will it rain?

When I saw my dreams of leaving this prison early becoming a shadow. When I stopped hearing from my siblings because of communication breakdown. When my money to feed myself and supplement my daily living expenses got finished, I looked and told God, "I'm not going to live by sight, but by FAITH.

It never rains, but pours. One day I will rise - God has chosen to come close to me, come rain, come shine. The rain will eventually stop, but God's commitment will never stop. Neither my hope in a new world of possibilities.

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A lady who is in prison in Bangkok, Thailand where just a drug violation will cause you to receive 10 years to life in prison wrote this (she received 21 years). You can write her. She would be very happy to hear from anyone. Her address is:

BONGEKILE NcALA, Women's Institution, PO Box 33/3 Ngamwang Wan Rd., Chatuchak, Bangkok, 10900, THAILAND.

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The three sons of a lawyer, a doctor, and a minister, respectively, were talking about how much money their fathers made.

The lawyer's son said, "My father goes into court on a case and often comes home with as much as fifteen hundred dollars."

The doctor's son said, "My father performs an operation and earns as much as two thousand dollars for it."

The minister's son, determined not to be outdone said, "That's nothing. My father preaches for just twenty minutes on Sunday morning and it takes four men to carry the money."

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A TEACHING
By Lawrence Cottle, In Truth Ministries
(inmate)

To all my Christian brothers and sisters that wonder why our lives are at the edge of breaking or in turmoil. This message may be able to set you free from your bondage. "For you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." (John 8:32)

In diagram 1, we have an individual who is of the world. The circle indicates man. The "h" indicates the throne. The "s" indicates the self-control and the "t" indicates Jesus outside of man's life.

Before we study and come to know Christ, we are victims of the world. We desire the things of the world. Money, drugs, alcohol, women, power. We live for the enjoyment of the flesh. We heard of Christ, but never let Him into our lives.

Someone close to us invites us to church. We hear the message from God, through the Holy Spirit, that starts pulling at our hearts. This message is something that was meant for us at that time and caused our hearts to open and accept it. We accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour and we invite Him into our lives to live. Diagram 2

But, if you notice, man is still trying to control his life by being at the head of his life (s). Even though Jesus came into his life, man is still trying to run his own life. By this, Jesus, though the Holy Spirit,

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cannot produce the fruits of the spirit in this person's life. He or she still wants to hold on to things of the world, causing them to back-slide. Such as drinking excessively, pornography, fornication, lust, lustful thinking, lying, cheating, etc.

We even go to church, praise God, and come out through the front doors cussing, recklessly eyeballing, talking talk we should not say, back-biting, things that are an abomination of the Lord. Why? Because we still want to control our lives. Now, you may hear a person say, "I thought she was a Christian. Look at Mr. X or Sister X. Lord, have mercy." This is not to say this person is not a Christian. Once you accept Jesus as Lord in your life, that's for life! Unless with your mouth you denounce Him, and I wouldn't want to do that for all the tea in China.(Smile)

It's areas in this person's life that the Holy Spirit needs to work on. This is what causes us to back-slide. While the Holy Spirit is cleansing us on the inside, the renewal of the mind is going on within our minds. (Romans 12:2)

With the renewal of the mind and the work of the Holy Spirit on the inside, this task takes time. It takes time for the word of God to take root in a sinner. It took time for us to grow in our selfish ways, so it takes time for a Child of God to grow in the Spirit.

Now, when you reach the adult-hood of Christ, (Diagram 3), you can start to enjoy the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22). This is not an overnight process, this is an everyday growth. You now have let Christ

control your life and you are at the foot of the throne. How do we obtain this? By reading the word daily. Not once a week, but daily. You will then notice how your faith has grown. From faith, to virtue, from virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, and then godliness. And from godliness, brotherly kindness, and from brotherly kindness, love. Our first and second great commandments is to "love the Lord with all thy heart, soul, and mind." And, number 2 is to "love your neighbor as thyself." The main word in these verses is love. For "love covers a multitude of sins." (I Peter 4:8)

So, my brothers and sisters, when you are dealing with a problem in your life, check the diagrams and see where you are at in Christ. Are you letting Christ be in charge, or are you still trying to control things in your life. Remember, let go and let Christ.

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If punishment reaches not the mind it hardens the offender.

An obstacle is often an unrecognized opportunity.

Kindness is loving people more than they deserve.

A gift with a kind word is a double gift.

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THE PEACE OF GOD

By Vicki Perry

(inmate)

Many times in my life, I've seen people who looked and acted so peaceful. I would wonder how they obtained that peace. Christians would talk to me about the 'peace of God' and how wonderful it was to have this peace.

When I came back to the Lord and restored my relationship, that peace was given to me but after a while it was gone because of all the turmoil that was in my life at that time.

I mourned the loss of that peace and I would wonder, "Where did my peace go? How can I get it back?" I would question the Lord and ask Him if there was a walk with Him where one could have a constant peace all the time.

After I was sentenced, I was sent to a regional jail to await transport to prison. When I first got there I began to seek the Lord for that peace. It took me a year of seeking the Lord and eating the word before I began to find my answers. In that year the Lord and I developed our relationship, which is key to finding peace.

As I searched for peace, I came across Philippians 4:7, "and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I really liked this verse -- I saw it as a beginning in my search for peace. I began to pray the verse, "Lord, I pray that the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus."

Sometime later in my search for peace, I came across Colossians 3:15, which reads, "Let the peace of God rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace."

I grew even more excited as this scripture began to take place in my heart. I began to pray, "Lord, allow the peace of God to rule in my heart, because I am called to peace. Allow, Lord, that peace to manifest into my life."

This verse proves that there can be a walk of peace in our lives. If it rules, then it is there within us all the time. It will be a constant source in our lives.

The Holy Spirit led me and taught me to ". . . seek peace and pursue it" (I Peter 3:11). I began to see that, as I sought the Lord and pursued peace in my life, it was a promise from God in that I was called to have peace. "For He, Himself, is our peace." (Ephesians 2:14)

I then began to ask the Lord, "How can I have peace rule in my life? And how can it be a constant presence in my walk with You?" The Holy Spirit led me back to Philippians 4:6-9 and He spoke these words to me deep within my spirit: "Apply these scriptures to your life. Do them and do not allow anything else to dominate your mind." The Holy Spirit led me through each verse as follows:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God."(v6). I noticed the apostle Paul's usual straight to the point wording - "Do not be anxious about anything. .." He means absolutely nothing! How many times do we play a tape in our minds agonizing about situations and circumstances in our lives? Many times it's over things we can't do anything about anyway. Every day being locked up is enough, but there are other things

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that we, as inmates, feel so helpless about - so powerless.

For example: what the counselors do or don't do; or they never work in our time frame; the officers won't let you do something for no apparent reason; or your family relationships are not going well. STOP!!! This verse says don't be anxious - don't fret about anything. We can't do anything about any of the above situations except do what the rest of this verse says to do - ". . . but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God." Pray about literally everything. Don't agonize about, or over it. Let it go and wait upon the Lord (Psalm 130:5) Worship Him. Praise Him for He does a far better job than we do anyway. As we apply verse 6, we have a promise from the Lord in verse 7, "And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Peace will come! So now, when things want to frustrate me, I stop right then and pray. I ask the Lord to take care of what is frustrating me. Then I give it to Him to take care of. His peace comes and floods my very soul.

The next step we need to take in order to have a constant source of peace in our lives is in verse 8, "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

Our thought life can be a garbage dump. Clean up your thinking and when you begin to think on things, run it through the checklist above and if it doesn't lineup - clean up your thoughts. Train your thought life to be positive and train it to align with verse 8. The apostle Paul also says we are to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (II Corinthians 10:56). We have the capacity to take our thoughts and make them be obedient to the Lord. If you read II Corinthians 10:4,5, note that he is talking about strongholds and spiritual warfare. These things in our thought life will rob us of our peace. When we apply verse 8 in our thought life, we have a promise in verse 9 "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me - put it into practice and the God of peace will be with you."

How is it that we can learn, receive or hear from the apostle Paul, the writer of the book of Philippians? Through the Holy Spirit, who is the author of the Bible. (See II Timothy 3:16). Paul was responsible for writing 13 of the 27 books of the New Testament. So if we obey and apply the Word of God, we have the promise of peace in our lives. It will be with us.

Another scripture we can use is a praise song in Isaiah 26:3 which reads, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You." If you keep your mind (thoughts) on the Lord - He will give you peace. This is a promise!

As we wrap this up, let us review:

1) We are called to have peace and to have it rule in our lives.

2) He is our peace.

3) Seek and pursue peace.

4) Pray - don't be anxious about anything.

5) Keep our thoughts positive.

If you keep all these things a constant in your lives and spirit - peace will rule your heart and mind everyday.

Check it out!!

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There was a certain energetic young preacher who had a thriving country church. He was always prodding his people to do greater things for God. He spent much time in preparation of his sermons. There was a deacon in his congregation who did little and seemed to care less. It caused the young preacher much concern. On several occasions the preacher would tell him exactly what he thought. The old deacon never caught the point. The old deacon always thought he was referring to someone else. One Sunday, the preacher made it plainer as to whom he was talking. Following the service the deacon said, "Preacher, you sure told them today."

The next sermon was still more pointed than ever. Again the deacon said, "Preacher, you sure told them today."

The next Sunday it rained so hard that no one was at the church except this one deacon. The preacher thought that he would now know about whom he was talking. The sermon went straight to t he deacon, who was the only one in the congregation. Following the service, the deacon walked up to the preacher and said, "Preacher, you sure told them if they had been here."

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REJOICE, FOR HE IS RISEN !!!

OUR REDEEMER LIVES !!!

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if we are to CONTINUE IN THE LORD'S WORK we need YOU to PARTNER WITH US

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