A GROWING TESTIMONY OF A BROTHER IN JESUS CHRIST
By Cody (Cowboy) Thomas
(inmate)

used with permission of author -- copyright 2002 by Unicorn Haven

As I stand here and look into the vast, beautiful valley that runs in the saddle of the "Itcha" and "Ilgatch" Mountains in the beautiful British Columbia wilderness, I ask myself what has brought me to this place of wondrous beauty. I look back over my life and I see so much that has shaped my mind and my heart. As memories run through my mind, I realize that I have only one individual to thank. It is my friend and compadre, Our Lord Jesus Christ.

My life has been of the wayward kind. I rebelled at a very young age. I rebelled against my parents but, for the most part, we all do to some extent. At a very early time in my life I encountered a lot of hurt and pain that I could not deal with. So I rebelled, with great [relish] that is. It was so bad that I left home at age thirteen to fend for myself. My life went from bad to worse.

I fell in with the wrong crowd and within a few years I found myself looking from the inside out. Yes, prison was my next journey. Boy, I was rebellious before, but let me tell you a thing or two about prison. If you have a generally bad attitude when you are put behind bars, just think about the kind of attitude you will have when you are let go. I experienced just that. I was hell on two feet after that. I was tough and mean. I did not care for anyone but myself. I lived for myself and only myself. The more people I hurt the better is what I felt, it seems. I was on a roller-coaster ride bound for destruction. It wasn't too long and I found myself out-cast from all family and friends. It then deteriorated even more. In a short period of time I found myself in the courts again and looking at a much longer stay behind the bars of steel than had hardened me earlier on in my walk of destruction. I was not a happy camper, that was for sure. There was not a soul that wanted to be around me, and if they were, they felt my wrath to the greatest extent. Many a time I found myself isolated and in the "hole".

The "hole' is a place in prison where they segregate you from everyone. They lock you up in this room with nothing but a mattress and concrete. I was totally uncontrollable. As far as I was concerned, I did not care if I lived or died. I swore that I would 'get' every person that had done me any wrong, no matter what it was. I was going to get retribution one way or another. A few times throughout my stay in the hole, the prison chaplain would come down and try and talk with me. I would have no part of it and made it known to that effect and not very nicely for that matter. After a while he stopped talking and just slid religious material under my door, which I tore up with great [relish], and anger. It got to the point that no one would talk to me at all. The guards, (or the keepers) would just slide the grub under the door without saying a word. The hole is a lonely place and a place where you have a lot of time to think. You are left to your own devices and thoughts. The solitude was taking its toll on me. I did not have the will to go on. My life was such a mess; no one was speaking with me, everyone was against me. I was sure that this is what hell was all about. I was living it. I remember myself getting so angry that I broke down and wept uncontrollably. I wanted to die and that was all. I do not know how long I spent in my despair and self-pity. So much was running through my mind. The anger, the hurt, the pain, was all surfacing.

I opened my eyes and looked out through the tears and the clouds that hazed my vision. There was this little piece of paper lying on the floor next to me. I could barely make out the words of that crumpled piece of paper. It read , "Come to Me who all are burdened and heavy laden, and I will give you..." That's where it ended. Right at the tear. What did it mean?

Those words stuck in my mind for days. I needed to know what they meant, and what words were missing from that sentence.

A few days went by with all the emotions still nagging at me, when I heard a sound. It was the sound of someone sliding something under the door. I called out and asked who it was that was there. A timid voice answered, "The Chaplain." I asked him if he could help me by answering a question.

"What do these words mean, 'Come to Me who are all burdened and heavy laden and I will give you..." I said. "The rest of the sentence is missing and I don't know what it is."

As he walked away he said, "Rest."

"What do you mean, rest? I never got a response, he was gone.

What did he mean - rest? Did he tell me to rest? The word "rest" stuck in my mind for the rest of the day.

Then it came to me - "I will give you rest". Is that what he meant, and what did it mean? I began to read what the chaplain had slid under the door. The first thing I read was, "For God so loved the world that He gave his only Begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16. The next thing I knew I was reading the whole thing through. I read all that he slid under the door, but I did not understand what they were saying. Or why I was reading it for that matter. I could not get enough. I wanted to understand what it all meant. The name "Jesus Christ" was written in bold letters all through the readings. Who was "Jesus Christ"?

(Continued page 7 )

****************************************************************************

Old Pete was very close to dying, but made a miraculous recovery. In the hospital his pastor came to visit him and the conversation went like this:

"Tell me, Pete, when you were so near death's door, did you feel afraid to meet your Maker?"

"No, Pastor," said Pete. "It was the other man I was afraid of."

******************

The new preacher, at his first service, had a pitcher of water and a glass on the pulpit. As he preached, he drank until the pitcher of water was completely gone.

After the service someone asked an old woman of the church, "How did you like the new pastor?"

"Fine," she said, "but he is the first windmill I ever saw that was run by water."

****************************************************************************

THE DREAM
by Gordon Graham

A hundred years, how far we've come.
We've touched the moon and tamed the sun.

We've built great cities across the land,
And tilled the soil where orchards stand.

The subways run beneath the ground,
And planes fly high beyond the sound.

Computers rule the markets now,
They move the trains and track the Dow.

The Internet is center stage,
Without this tool, we're disengaged.

We've come so far and yet it seems,
We've lost our way to that great dream.

The dream where children laugh and play;
A world of love that fills each day.

The dream where all are equal now,
And each shall have their field to plow.

Where color, creed and bias fade,
Into the depths of past decades.

We've reached a point in God's great scheme,
Where all must work to build this dream.

No money, fame or wealth can hold,
The power felt when dreams unfold.

VISION FOR TODAY'S GENERATION

by Joel Escobedo

(inmate)

Part I of a 3 part teaching on leadership

In my service with the Lord Jesus Christ, my heart has been grieved at the great falling away of my brothers in Christ. I've heard testimony after testimony from brothers of how they were so 'on fire' for God, yet they back-slid and now are doing life in prison. Many have received titles of pastors, teachers, evangelists, working for big time ministries. I've seen new converts in prison quoting Scriptures from the Old Testament all the way to the New Testament. On fire one day - wanting to save the world - only to be ensnared in the worst back-slidden state the next. The accuser of the brethren takes full advantage of this tragedy, pointing fingers at these wounded soldiers and mocking at their calamity. Even brothers in Christ would point their fingers, discussing over a meal just "how hard a brother fell". But yet, in all the accusations, all the finger pointing, I've seen very few "true brothers" take action. Unknowingly many have done the enemy's work. This study is written to stir up the PURE TRUTH in your hearts again. My prayer is that each of you carefully examine your heart, seek the face of God, and ask the Holy Spirit to help set in order the things that are lacking in your ministry and/or personal walk. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my thoughts; And lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139: 23, 24)

LEADERSHIP

God has put a strong conviction on my heart to begin this study by addressing leaders. "Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church which He purchased with His own blood." (Acts 20:28)

I believe in these last days, feeding God's sheep the WORD, and nurturing them in the faith, is not a common practice in most churches. Sadly, many of today's churches are caught in traditions that have been passed down from generation to generation. You come to church (THE BUILDING), say a prayer, sing your hymns, hear the message, have the altar call, then go home. Because of this, there is no true move of the Holy Spirit. Salvation is much more than accepting Jesus in your heart, then sitting in your pew Sunday after Sunday. Many in today's churches are ignorant to God's calling and will for their lives. Many young converts in Christ have a zeal to do the things of God, yet they're not being built up in the faith. Their gifts are laying stagnant. I hear preaching on how many believers have back-slid, how so many have erred from the truth, but how many have left the 99 righteous and sought the one which went astray?

I can go on and on, but I believe we have all been humbled to come into agreement that we need a spiritual tune up. This study is not written to point out every ministry's fault. This study is written to encourage leaders to "TAKE ACTION". At times, a "BACK TO BASICS" program is needed. I believe we're living in those times. There are many principles of effective leadership that you can build on.

1) Have a clear purpose and keep evaluating in light of God's will. Nothing should prevent your ministry from staying on track;

2) Be straightforward and honest. Every member of your flock should know your ministry needs. The truth should always be spoken even if it makes goals hard to achieve;

3) Live above reproach. The enemy is out to make accusations. Don't give him a foothold, but on the contrary, let them be found to be lies and empty;

4) Be a ministry of constant prayer. God will give you POWER and WISDOM. Everything done will glorify God.

As God-fearing leaders, we cannot take for granted the spiritual well-being of the flock. We can preach and teach the most Spirit-filled sermons, but we cannot expect faith to be manufactured upon request. Most of today's youth and adults are lacking a solid moral and spiritual foundation. It may take days, months, years, to build up true godly character traits. It will require continual attention and patient discipline. Leadership positions take up a lot of time and energy. It's compared to raising a child.

Somehow we need to get it out of our heads that leadership means superiority. Jesus described leadership as being a servant. Jesus mission was to serve others and give His life away. The world's system of leadership is very different from the Kingdom's. Worldly leaders are often selfish with their time, finances, and objectives as they claw their way to the top. But among Christians the leader is to be the one who serves best (Luke 22:22-27).

A beautiful example of a servant's heart is found in the book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah led the entire construction project of rebuilding Jerusalem's walls. Yet he was also working right alongside the others (Nehemiah 5:16). He was not a bureaucrat in a well air-conditioned office talking on the phone. But, on the contrary, he was in the field getting involved in the day to day work. Those who lead best, lead by what they DO, as well as by what they say. Good leaders put the best interests of the people above their own. The best leaders are both goal oriented and people oriented (Numbers 27:15-23). Often times sermons are preached on the lack of love shown, on how there needs to be more time dedicated to God's ministry, on how there's no compassion for the lost or brothers that are sinning. Could it be that the flock is representative of its leader?

The foundation of the church, of ALL BELIEVERS, is Jesus Christ. Every leader's goal should be to build up the flock with high quality material, (RIGHT DOCTRINE AND LIVING), that meet God's standards (I Corinthians 3:12-15). It is required that a leader's character be tested. Don't be fooled by good looks, grand entrances, apparent concern for injustices, and friendly embraces. Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. We need to evaluate our leaders to make sure their charisma is not graft, deception, or hunger for power. Make sure that under all the style and charm, they are able to make good decisions and handle people wisely (II Samuel 15:1-6). People who have heavy responsibilities and work closely with others must have these qualities: 1) Good reputation for being honest: 2) Full of the Holy Spirit and, 3) Wisdom (Acts 6:3).

We must look for honest, spiritually mature, wise men and women to lead our churches (I Timothy 3:1-13; Titus 1:5-9). We cannot neglect the high standard which God places upon leadership. But we must have God's heart and not forget that He chooses outlaws, trouble makers, malcontents. God takes pleasure in helping those with major shortcomings. It is difficult enough to build an army of good men, but it takes even greater leadership to help those with character defects (I Samuel 22:2; I Corinthians 1:27-29). It is crucial to have God's eyes and vision in your dealings. Many leaders were overlooked because their stature was not acceptable publicly (I Samuel 16:7). God does not see as man sees (Isaiah 55:8-9). You will be held accountable to God for the standards you use to judge others. Consider these steps in your dealings: 1) Allow God to help you be just (II Chronicles 19:6); 2) Be impartial (II Chronicles 19:7); 3) Be honest (II Chronicles 19:9); Act out of fear for God, not man (II Chronicles 19:9).

Good leaders surround themselves with great men. Weak leaders are easily threatened by competent subordinates, but strong leaders surround themselves with only the strongest. An example would be David. His warriors and servants were: 1)Practiced long and hard to perfect their skills, (bow, sling, spear), 2) They were mentally tough and determined, (faces were like the faces of lions), 3) They were physically in shape, (swift as deer), and 4) Were dedicated to serving God and David (I Chronicles 12:1-8).

Brothers/Sisters, you may like to surround yourselves with those who have these characteristics: 1) People who are gifted in the Word, spiritual gifts, writing, etc, 2) People who have a good reputation and attract souls, 3) People who have a vision and zeal to do God's work, and 4)Are loving and compassionate to believers and unbelievers.

David consulted with all his officers. As king he had ultimate authority and could have given orders on his own without consulting advice from others. But he chose to involve others in leadership. Perhaps this is why there was unanimous support for his decisions (I Chronicles 13:1-5). Effective leaders listen carefully to others' opinions and they encourage others to participate in making decisions. However, God should be the first we consult. We can run into big problems if we don't talk to God. Obedience to God should be more important than enthusiasm.

Leadership appears glamourous at times, but it is often lonely, thankless, and filled with pressure to compromise values and standards. As leaders we must understand that we can accomplish huge tasks against incredible odds. However, we must learn that: 1) There is no success without failure, 2) No reward without hard work, 3) No opportunity without criticism, 4) No true leadership without trust in God.

With leadership comes responsibility. Criticism will always be directed towards you. As you lead, listen to constructive criticism, but don't spend valuable time and energy worrying about those who oppose you. Instead, focus your attention on those who are ready and willing to help (I Kings 10:24; I Samuel 10:26-27; Ecclesiastes 7:21-22). I pray this study causes you to search your heart and re-evaluate your ministry goals. It's not an exhaustive approach but, nevertheless, there are a lot of key points in which you can begin your evaluation. In closing, I have something I want you to ponder in your heart: Is your ministry self-serving, or God serving? What makes you an effective leader is when your heart mourns because God's people are being destroyed and deceived by Satan. What makes you a leader is when you lay down your life for your brothers/sisters. What makes you a leader is not pointing our people's faults, but giving them answers to escape the bondage they're in. That is LOVE, THE GREATEST MINISTRY! (I Corinthians 13:13).

****************************************************************************

A minister asked a little girl what she thought of her first church service.

"The music was nice," she said, "but the commercial was too long."

NEXT HOME BACK