Yeah, I'm sitting here at school and the thought comes to me that I hadn't written anything in here in a while. I'm in an optimisticly pessimistic mood right now. Everything seems to be different than it seems. I know, that sounds really confusing. Anyways, I'm not writing about my day, this entry is gonna be fully about life in general.
I was on the blog of a friend of mine recently. It has been a while since I have talked to her extensively or really even seen her for more than a moment, but the person I knew her as was a fun-loving, free-spirited, joyful, loving, caring, and wonderful person to be around. She would always bring a smile to everyone's face around her. The blog however, shows a much different her than I remember. I'm not getting into details because it is a privacy thing, but she sounded so down and dark and depressed and sick of life. I guess it's possible that she was that way all along since we weren't ever the closest of friends, but I was shocked at how different she sounded than the person I thought I knew. I wish there was something I could do about it.
What is ideal? Sihj... ideal is the perfection of everything we dream life should be. LIFE IS NEVER IDEAL! That is the whole point of life in my opinion. If it were ideal, it would not be worth living. Life is about the struggle to survive, to create, to control; not to BE, but to BECOME! When we succeed, we can move onto the next struggle, and even when we fail, we can learn so much for our defeats so that next time we can more than succeed... we can MASTER it!
Don't get me wrong, I hate failure. But, I have failed enough to know that it is not simply the winning that is valuable. There was a time in my life when I struggled with life's futility. Every time I fought I lost. I was frustrated with constantly being frustrated. When I finally solved the puzzle to my torment, I was free, and now I can look back and see perfectly why I struggled. Without that struggle, it was impossible for me to learn the truth that I was being slapped in the face with.
My grandfather left me this message about life. He didn't write it, but I will always associate it with him. It's not about being someone, it's about becoming someone.
Mmm... banana
