"Struggle" by Nic Searcy


Please give me a reason
To show you all of me
Open up the inside
The deepest part of me
Oh tell me why should I
Be fully transparent
I need you to break through
please make it apparent
"I need someone inside
To help me be joyful"
You say this, I hear it
These reasons are painful

I fight it, I struggle
And listen in silence
Alone I am taken
I go in Defiance
I'm left here to wither
apart from my wellspring
The pain is undying
The madness, unceasing
Oh what do I do now?
Oh where is my safety?
I lost it in coldness
My motives were hasty

I know it, this life is
Immediate torture
When I live alone in
My innocent capture
But how hard it is to
Break through this barrier
To breathe in the oneness
Of loving another
How do I let someone
Help me to be joyful?
Where is this person who
will always be faithful?

I don't know the answer
But I cannot live now
Without it I'll crumble
I must find it somehow
My reason for living
Lies somewhere inside this
I'll find you and when I
Do I will confide this
I need you, you give me
Everything I've needed
Everything I've searched for
My dreams you've exceeded

How can it be that you've
Been so close yet so far?
As close as my finger
Yet like a distant star