| Age Matters |
 |
| Odessa, Hi, I really need some advice. About two months ago I met a guy named Shane* at a party. We both took interest in each other and I have fallen for him hard. The thing is, I just found out he's 29! He's worried about the age difference, but I don't want to break up with him. I don't think I will be able to get over him. He is all I think about. What would you do if you were in my shoes? I just need some opinions. Sarah* *Names have been changed to protect reader's privacy. |
| Hey Sarah, I can relate to this situation very well. The best thing I can do is tell you that he has every reason to be scared. Statutory rape is a serious crime that he can and WILL be charged with if you are caught. I understand that you may love him, but if you do you will have to realize the real danger in that. To be honest, I don't think that you can have a relationship with him right now, at least not the kind that you are looking for. He needs to be there 100% emotionally to have the kind of relationship you want. He won't be able to do that if he is always looking over his shoulder for Uncle Sam. I'm also not sure if he is really looking for a relationship that isn't purely physical. Older guys all fantasize about teen sex, so it doesn't surprise me he went for it with you. If you want to be with him for real, wait a few more months and tell him that if he really likes you he can wait until you turn 18. See how things go then, and if he still won't tell you how he feels, I would assume he isn't interested in anything but the sex. It will be the true test because he won't have an excuse about your age anymore, and you two can be around other people in a casual relationship. Best of luck. Let me know how everything works out for you, *Odessa |
| Feel free to email me if you have any personal questions you need answered. We may select your concern for the next week's column. Please note: We reserve the right to edit entries for web purposes only. (All questions will be answered on an individual basis as well -- that is, privately through email only. You may remain completely anonymous if you wish) Send your question(s) to us at: [email protected], with the word "Odessa" in the subject line. Please include your age, gender, and location. |
| Week of June 26, 2002 |