After a while, even though the makeout sessions are fun for a while, you might want more of the relationship. When you're that close to someone, even if it's just physical intimacy, someone always develops feelings even if they both had agreed to just fool around. It would still be hard on you, having to push away those feelings. Sooner or later it will all start to feel sort of shallow and empty. I think you deserve a real relationship with respect and caring. Your other guy friend may love your attitude when it comes to non-commitment, but those are the testosterone-crazed guys that are just looking for an easy booty call. Every guy fantasizes about it, but in the end, they are really looking for a lasting thing that goes beyond just the physical satisfaction. The guys I know, deep-down, are searching for a girl who they can stay with, listen to, and care for ... that type of girl respects her body and understands the value of a solid relationship. I'm not trying to preach, but I think you might want to look into where you're going with all of this. I'm just concerned about what image you are portraying (whether you mean to or not) and how that might affect how guys might view you. It might make more worthwhile guys shy away from you. Best of luck. Email me if you have more thoughts, *Odessa |
| No Foolin' |
| Week of July 31, 2002 |
| Odessa, I'm 15 right now and my guy friends love my attitude that I like to fool around. Recently I met this guy, who kinda has a rep for being a player. The thing is, he treats me really well and I am starting to fall for him. I know that if anything DOES happen b/t us, I can probably push away my feelings for him, but I don't know if I should even bother pursuing this. Is it okay that I'm just out for a good time? Or is my problem non-commitment or what? Girl Playa in NY |
| Hey there, I'm glad that this guy who is known to be a player is awesome to you, but I hope that he does not just use you for a booty call. Even though it seems like you're okay with it, I might caution you against it because getting something more meaningful out of this might be a better approach. |
| Hey, readers! Feel free to email me if you have any personal questions you need answered. We may select your concern for the next week's column. Please note: We reserve the right to edit entries for web purposes only. (All questions will be answered on an individual basis as well -- that is, privately through email only. You may remain completely anonymous if you wish) Send your question(s) to us at: [email protected], with the word "Odessa" in the subject line. Please include your age, gender, and location. |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |