| Odessa, Please help me, cuz I don't know what to do. This girl and I met online, and I developed feelings for her. One night, she asked me if I liked her, and I said told her the truth. Then I asked her the same question, and she answered that she wasn't sure. And so I said, "I'm not mad, but let's just forget about what I said." She said ok. Later she asked me for advice on this other guy that she liked. She wanted to know how to talk to him and all, so I did my best to help her out. Then all the sudden, out of nowhere, she said that she liked me but didn't know if a long distance relationship would work out. To make a long story short, we gave it a try. But ever since then, I have somehow felt sorry for her because she likes another dude. I'm afraid that she secretly wants to go out with him instead of me, but that she is afraid to tell me cuz she doesn't want to hurt me. What should I do? |
| Love someone enough to let them go? |
| Hey there friend, It sounds like you are being really considerate about this whole thing. It's tough to put your feelings aside and look at what's best for your girl. But we have to look at your feelings too. From what I've heard, it sounds like she cares about you, but you're afraid that she secretly covets another man and that a long-distance thing won't work out. My question is, how much does this relationship mean to you? And how is it working out so far? It seems to me that if it was working out, then there's no reason to worry about this other guy. She is with you for a reason, and you should trust her. But if it still bothers you, then perhaps it would be a good idea to just straight-out ask her. Ask her how she feels about your relationship and where it's going. Be honest about your feelings ... if she truly cares about you, she will give you a sincere answer. Especially regarding the other guy. Let her know that you're still having nagging doubts about her feelings for this other fella ... she will appreciate your honesty (and your caring nature even more) and be more willing to talk about it with you. After that, you can decide whether or not to let her go. Trust your gut and get clear on how things stand before you jump to conclusions. If you need advice on how to make a long-distance relationship work, then feel free to email me again. Best of luck. Fill me in, *Odessa |
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| Hey, readers! Feel free to email me if you have any personal questions you need answered. We may select your concern for the next week's column. Please note: We reserve the right to edit entries for web purposes only. (All questions will be answered on an individual basis as well -- that is, privately through email only. You may remain completely anonymous if you wish) Send your question(s) to us at: [email protected], with the word "Odessa" in the subject line. Please include your age, gender, and location. |
| Week of July 24, 2002 |
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