| Week of August 28, 2002 |
| Hey there, Thanks for writing. Now that's summer's drawing to a close, it's a lot easier to get back into the school groove and meet new people. And now let's look at your situation here ... there are several things that I think come into play. First of all, it depends on how dire the situation is with your long-distance girl; obviously, you still have important feelings for each other, but the situation seems to have aggravated you to perhaps the point of no return. It might be best to evaluate how the relationship has changed so far ... can it be worked out by telling her exactly how you feel, or has the lines of communication deteriorated so much that it would be impossible to salvage this relationship? The arrival of another romantic interest may be a sign that you (1) are missing something from your current relationship and need to patch it up ASAP, or (2) a signal that perhaps it's time to consider this long-distance thing and pursue someone closer to home. My advice would be that, if you think it's worth it to still keep putting time and energy into your current relationship, then make good use of the alloted time you're allowed to be online during the school year and have a good heart-to-heart with her. You do owe it to her to be sincere about how you've been feeling lately. There's no need to alarm her by mentioning the other girl, but it would be best to at least give her the heads-up on what you've been missing. She cares about you, so she'd want to know if what she's doing is not working for you. Then, you both can use that conversation to jumpstart your relationship again, this time with the both of you putting the limited time to good use. If you have reached the point where you feel you can no longer endure the long-distance relationship (there's advice for that too, email me if you'd like some), then maybe meeting this new girl was supposed to happen -- she could be a way for you to realize that you've been in a rut that you just didn't know how to get out of. (I'm not saying that your relationship wasn't good, just that other outside factors might have just been too much to handle) In that case, it would still be best to let your current girlfriend know that you've experienced a change of heart, and explain to her what you explained to me about the lack of playfulness, long-distance, the stress of having only so much time online, etc etc. Se deserves an explanation, as you deserve a relationship that works for you. Best of luck. Write in anytime, *Odessa |
| Falling in the fall |
| Hey Odessa, Now that fall's here, I'm back into school and realize that I'm not cool with the way my relationship is going with my g/f. I've known her for two years; she's great, but I'm beginning to feel pestered by the distance. I also feel like we're not as close as we used to be. To make things worse, I'm only allowed online for a certain amount of time during the school year, so that really squashes the time we have to talk and play around. Meanwhile, I've been getting to know this other girl who goes to my school. I confused about where my feelings are headed. I really trust and love my girlfriend, so I don't want her to just disappear from my life. I'm just wondering where our relationship is going and if my friendship with this new girl is fated to do anything. What do you think? Alex*, 15, FL |
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| Feel free to email me if you have any personal questions you need answered. We may select your concern for the next week's column. Please note: We reserve the right to edit entries for web purposes only. (All questions will be answered on an individual basis as well -- that is, privately through email only. You may remain completely anonymous if you wish) Send your question(s) to us at: [email protected], with the word "Odessa" in the subject line. Please include your age, gender, and location. |
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