Caught in the Act or Lack of Common Sense

     
          (a) Portsmouth, R.I.  Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with 
              a string of vending machine robberies in January when 
              he (1) fled from police inexplicably when they spotted 
              him loitering around a vending machine and (2) later 
              tried to post his $400 bail in coins. 
     
          (b) Karen Lee Joachimmi, 20, was arrested in Lake City,
              Florida for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel.  She 
              was armed with only an electric chain saw, which was 
              not plugged in.
     
          (c) The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked 
              into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, 
              flashed a gun and demanded cash.  The clerk turned him 
              down because he said he couldn't open the cash register 
              without a food order.  When the man ordered onion rings, 
              the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.  The 
              man, frustrated, walked away.
     
          And it gets better:
     
          (d) David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, 
              R.I, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver 
              and stealing the closest four bags of money.  It turned 
              out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds 
              each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so 
              that police officers easily jumped him from behind.
     
          (e) The Belgium news agency Belga reported in November that 
              a man suspected of robbing a jewelry store in Liege said 
              he couldn't have done it *because he was busy breaking 
              into a school at the same time.*  Police then arrested 
              him for breaking into the school.
     
          (f) Drug-possession defendant Christopher so-and-so, on trial 
              in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched 
              without a warrant.  The prosecutor said the officer didn't 
              need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket 
              could have been a gun.  Nonsense, said Christopher, who 
              happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. 
              He handed it over so the judge could see it.  The judge    
              discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so   
              hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.
     
          (g) Atlanta Braves pitcher John Smoltz gave himself five-inch-long 
              welts in March when he tried to iron his polo shirt while     
              wearing it.  "I've ironed that way five or six times," he    
              said, "and never had it happen."
     
          (h) Dave so-and-so of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently 
              after he attempted to replace a tubelike fuse in his Chevy 
              pickup with a 22-caliber rifle bullet (used because it was 
              a perfect fit).  However, when electricity heated the 
              bullet, it went off and shot him in the knee.