Life

Life is an interesting thing. It goes on no matter what happens. If you lose a loved one, you have to keep living. If you get severely sick, you have to heal and keep going. If you lose all you posses, you have to keep living.

Now some people would argue that it is a choice to keep going. But have you ever wondered why 2 people can do the exact same thing, and yet one dies and one lives? That is life, we don�t chose when to quit it decide when it�s our turn to go. I will use 2 people I was very close to as examples:

First there is a man I loved dearly, however he didn�t love himself. He spent years abusing his body, drugs, alcohol, you name it he tried it. By all medical purposes he should be dead. His live isn�t working well, his pancreas isn�t working. His skin is yellow and his lips are blue. He has been in this condition for over 5 years so far and is still trying to stop his body. He still drinks when he knows it will kill him, yet still lives. He lives with the pain of a badly abused body. His life is full of misery, yet life still goes on.

Second a lady I loved dearly. She was stubborn and bullheaded, but tried to take reasonable care of her body, yet a month after diagnosis of cancer she died. She had a happy life and liked how life was treating her. If given the chance she would have chosen to spend many more years on this earth. Yet her life ended.

It isn�t the man�s time to go, he ruined his chance at enjoying the life he was given but will still have to live it. It was the woman�s time to go; nothing she could have done would have given her more time. She was able to enjoy what life she had and it was a wonderful way for her to spend her time here.

Now I have struggled with depression through the worse times possible in life, but I know that I have to keep going, so I chose not to let myself be miserable all the time. I have my bouts of sadness and wanting to give up, but when I really think about it I realize why be miserable when I can enjoy the life I have. I am far from perfect, yet I am happy being me. I want to learn to enjoy all I can and get stronger from the things that aren�t enjoyable.

I have thought about suicide and figured out all those people that keep failing is because it�s not their time and there is nothing they can do to change that fact. Instead they will just hurt themselves and have to live their life in a body they have destroyed or they will dig deeper into depression and hate life, yet still have to live it.

So now I embrace my depression and let it have it�s time, maybe I just need to cry or just know its ok to feel bad sometimes. But then I pull myself out of it, I call a friend for help or write to get it all out. But I don�t let it keep pulling me down because life it too grand to suffer through.