| Burial Ground (The Nights of Terror) (1980) |
| Rating: 2 1/2 Severed Heads |
 |
|
| Synopsis: There's a few things to remember when viewing this film: 1)The budget for special effects is less than a Denny's Grand Slam Breakfast, 2)European comedy bears no resemblance to American comedy, & 3)The characters must get naked and have sex whenever possible. After several viewings of this masterpiece, the plot is still foggy to us. Apparently a mad professor who looks like a croos between Rasputin and David Crosby has awoke some buck-toothed zombies in a cave who then terrorize a group of horny youngsters and a mother and her son who share a relationship that would make Caligula blush. Cementing the fact that Italian zombie films should have more gore than plot, Burial Ground has it's hilarious moments, just don't expect to figure out what the hell is going on. Burial Ground is definitely a MUST SEE! |
| What Has This Movie Taught Us? -The living dead don't need friends -Zombies are precision knife-throwers -The presence of zombies can make lightbulbs explode -Green paint is an effective tool against the undead -Zombies can climb walls -Zomblies bleed dijon mustard -There's never an armory when you need one |
 |
| Memorable Moments: 04min- Wait, what just happened here? 08min- That kid is freaky lookin' 21min- My Great-Grandma moves faster than these zombies 22min- I think that they bought these zombie costumes at Party World's Post Halloween Blow-Out Sale 28min- What's a bear trap doing in the front yard? 39min- The Grim Reaper wants his scythe back 56min- That boy aint right 62min- Where did they get a battering ram? 80min- Wait, Didn't he have one arm? 81min- That hurts for so many reasons 83min- What the hell is the Prophecy of the Black Spider? And why is it spelled wrong? |
|
| Don't Quote Us On That: Professor: "I'm the only one who knows the secret!" Professor: "No! No! Stand back! I'm your friend! Nooooo!" Woman: "Didn't you like my little show?" Man: (lovingly) "You look just like a little whore." Michael: "Mother, this cloth smells of death." "This must be what the professor was trying to tell us." "Don't touch it! No! It's a zombie! Don't touch it!" |
|
 |