What War?

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his bunker wondering whom to invade next
when his telephone rang. "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Boudreaux down at the Fred's Lounge in Mamou. I'm callin' to told you we be officially declarin' war on you!"

"Well, Boudreaux," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Rat now," said Boudreaux, (hesitating) "there is me, my cousin T-Nom, my nex door neighbor T-Boy, and the whole bunch from the bar. That makes us eight!"

Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Tros, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Kee-ough!" said Boudreaux. "I gots to call you back later!"

Sure enough, the next day, Boudreaux called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We got us war some equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Boudreaux?" Saddam asked. "Well, we got us two combines, a dozer, and a farm tractor."

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke." "Poo-yie!" said Boudreaux. "I gots to get back to you later." 

Sure enough, Boudreaux rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, da war still be on! We got ourselves some airborne! We've took T-Cat's utra-light glider an we put us a shotgun in the cockpit, and Nonk got outs of jail today and he is gonna join our army too!"

Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Boudreaux, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Ah-yie-yie!", screams Boudreaux, "I gots ta call you back later."

Sure enough, Boudreaux calls again the next day.

"Bon jour, Sad-damn! I gots to toll you we is callin' off dis war." "I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

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