Wedding Night Numbers
A
posh hotel holds three weddings on the same day and at the end of the night the
3 grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events over a couple of shandy's.
One questions the other two, "listen, it's our wedding night and I was
wondering - how many times are we expected to...um...you know.... do it"
The
other two look blankly at him, wondering if the usual 2 pumps and a squirt is
enough, or if should they go for it twice, seeing as it is a special occasion.
Eventually,
they all decide to retire to their respective wives and see how the night goes,
with the idea to meet up the following morning over breakfast to discuss what
went on.
Suddenly
one of the grooms pipes up,
"Hold
on lads, we can't discuss our first night marital goings on over the breakfast
table with our new wives sat with us."
"No
you're right. What we'll do then, is for every piece of toast we order with our
breakfast, that'll be the amount times we did it" offers another groom.
They all decide it's an excellent idea and depart.
The
next day in the hotel dining room, the grooms are all looking a bit dishevelled,
but that's nothing compared to the brides, who can barely stagger across the
room to their tables.
The
waitress comes up to the first groom to take his order, "Hello, I'll have
the full English breakfast with THREE pieces of toast please". The other
two grooms smile at him and raise a glass of fresh orange in a toast to his
fantastic prowess.
The
waitress moves to the second couple, and the groom orders, "I too shall
have the full English breakfast but could I have FOUR pieces of toast" The
other two grooms turn to make pistols from their fingers to shoot a salute to
the master swordsman.
The
waitress gets to the last groom "I shall also have the full English
breakfast please, yet I shall have..." he takes a deep breath "SEVEN,
yes SEVEN PIECES OF TOAST" he calls for everyone's benefit whilst giving a
big cheesy grin to his two wedding mates, who stare at him in disbelief at the
thought how raw his poor corey must be.
"Seven
pieces of toast sir?" queries the waitress. "Why, that's an awful
lot"
"Yes
indeed young lady, seven pieces of toast it is." She writes down his order
and turns away, but before she can leave, the groom calls after her again
"And by the way love, can you make two of those brown?"