Ventriloquist visiting Australia

A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a  small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting  his dog. And figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog. Mind if I  speak to him?"

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Villager: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: "Is this  villager your  owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great  food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Villager: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool" Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the  villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me  regularly, brushes me  down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the  elements."

Villager: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Villager: "The sheep's a fu*king liar."

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