Three worst Nightmares
Nightmare #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over,
pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to
find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some
matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the
bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed
picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
Nightmare #2
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was
trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found
his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do? Oh- I
know."
He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife.
Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her
body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.
Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush
his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving
her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?"
She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, You'll wake your mother"
Nightmare #3
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to
kiss each other goodnight at the front door, when the guy starts feeling a
little horny.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the
wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow
job?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on!
Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up
in her pyjamas, hair dishevelled, and in a sleepy voice she says:
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need
be, mom says she can come down herself and do it.But for God's sake tell him to
take his hand off the intercom!"