The Lords Prayer
THE
GIRL'S PRAYER
OUR
CASH
WHICH
ART ON PLASTIC
HALLOWED
BE THY NAME
THY
CARTIER WATCH
THY
PRADA BAG
IN
HARRODS
AS
IT IS IN SELFRIDGES
GIVE
US EACH DAY OUR PLATINUM VISA
AND
FORGIVE US OUR OVERDRAFT
AS
WE FORGIVE THOSE THAT STOP US SPENDING
AND
LEAD US NOT UNTO MARKET STALLS
BUT
DELIVER US UNTO LOUIS VUITTON
FOR
THINE IS THE GUCCI
THE
DIOR AND THE ARMANI
FOR
CHANEL No.5 AND ETERNITY
AMEX.
THE
BOY'S PRAYER
OUR
BEER
WHICH
COMETH IN BOTTLES
HALLOWED
BE THY ALE
THY
WILL BE DRUNK
I
WILL BE DRUNK
AT
HOME AS WE ARE IN THE PUB
GIVE
US EACH DAY OUR DAILY BEVERAGE
AND
FORGIVE US OUR SPILLAGES
AS
WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SPILLEST AGAINST US
AND
LEAD US NOT INTO POOFY WINEBARS
OR
DETRACT US FROM REAL ALE
FOR
MINE IS THE BITTER
THE
TOTTY AND THE FOOTY
FOREVER
AND EVER