Speeding fines

The people who came up with these speeding excuses, non of which worked, as told by various members of the Philadelphia Highway Patrol:

A man who, when asked by the officer if he had seen any speed-limit signs, explained, "I went by them so fast I probably missed them."

A man caught doing 79 MPH on I-95 who explained, "My engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the carburettor.  If I don't go this fast, my car won't go at all."

A man who explained, "I'm due in traffic court.  If I'm late they're going to enforce the bench warrant."

A man who simply offered this, "I'm trying to beat my wife home. Don't ask."

An elderly person who when given a ticket for doing 73 MPH asked if there's a senior discount.

A man who claimed he was allergic to bees and so was speeding to the hospital.  To prove it, he pointed to a bee on the dashboard in an advanced state of decomposition.

A man, caught doing 70 MPH in the breakdown lane of I-95 who, when pulled over, jumped out of the car and began frantically brushing off his pants explaining that he dropped a lit cigarette in his lap and so was in a hurry to find a place to park.

And my personal favourite:

A man caught speeding who told the officer that he and his wife were trying to have a baby and then explained, "My wife is ovulating.  I have to get home right now!"

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