Signs you are Grown Up
1. Your potted plants are alive.
And you can't smoke a-one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed
is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer
in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up,
not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favourite song
on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You
watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce
instead of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of
vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer
qualify as 'dressed up'.
10. You're the one calling the
police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel
comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time
MacDonalds closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down
and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Pal instead
of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes
your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from
noon to 6 p.m.
17. Dinner and a movie - The
whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken
wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drugstore for
Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no
longer 'pretty good stuff.'
21. You actually eat breakfast
foods at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the
way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to drink that much
again."
23. Over 90% of the time you
spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You don't drink at home to
save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you.