Keeping up with
Technology
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),
Bill Gates compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated
"if GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to his comments,
General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology
like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no
reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines
in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on
the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road,
close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows
before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre
such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in
which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was
powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to
drive-but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and
alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General
protection Fault" warning light.
7. New seats would force everyone to
have the same sized butt.
8. The airbag system would ask
"are you sure?" before deploying.
9. Occasionally, for no reason
whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the
radio antenna.
10. Every time GM introduced a new car,
car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the
controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
11. You'd have to press the
"Start" button to turn the engine off.
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