Here
are some easy lessons gleaned from the experiences of a number of would-be bank
robbers.
Pick
The Right Bank:
You
don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who tried to
hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no money.
Study
Your History:
Don't
try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, Minnesota. Jesse James
tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk took just seven minutes to kill two
and capture three of his gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the customers
chased the guy down. They're tight with their dollar, those Minnesotans.
Speak
To The Right Teller:
One
robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father, who was
in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it. He wrestled the guy to the
ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.
Don't
Sign Your Demand Note:
Demand
notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank
robber in Pittsburgh... on an envelope bearing the name and address of another
in Detroit. And in East Hartford, Connecticut, on the back of a withdrawal slip
giving the robber's signature and account number.
Don't
Advertise:
A
teenage girl in Los Angeles tried to distract attention from her face by wearing
a see-through blouse with no bra while holding up banks.
Go
Easy On The Disguise:
One
robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran face first into a
glass door. He was the first criminal ever to be positively identified by
lip-print.
Take
Right Turns Only:
Avoid
the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn into the Homestead
Air Force Base, drove up to a military police guardhouse and, thinking it was a
tollbooth, offered the security men money.
Be
Aware Of The Time:
Imagine
the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire, Massachusetts, who hit the bank at
4:30 PM, then tried to escape through downtown North Adams, where he was trapped
in rush hour traffic until police arrived.
Consider
Another Line Of Work:
Bank
robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI robber, while trying to
stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket, shot himself in the head and
died instantly.
Be
Strong:
Then
there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Massachusetts, who, when
the teller told him she had no money, fainted.
He was still unconscious when the police arrived. His getaway car parked
nearby had the keys locked inside.