Dumb Criminals

One criminal broke into the basement of a bank through a street-level window. In the process, however, he suffered from several lacerations. When he realized that he could neither get the money nor climb back through the window, he panicked and called 911.

 

In England a gang hired a man to drive their getaway car for a series of bank robberies. As the gang came fleeing out of bank with the loot the man panicked and caused the car to stall. It was later revealed that not only did the man not have a driver's license, he had never operated a vehicle.

 

Two criminals in France decided to break into a bank from a neighbouring building.   After hours of drilling through the wall to reach the banks vault, they finally broke through. However, when entered the room instead of the vault, they were standing in the middle of the restroom.

 

Two men in Kentucky tried to pull the front off of an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pick- up truck. However, instead of pulling the panel off the machine, they pulled the bumper off the truck. When they fled, they left their bumper, along with their license plate still attached to the ATM.

 

A colonel in the Ivory Coast army bought a magic belt that would supposedly protect him from the bullets. The colonel had the son of the belt's maker fire several bullets at him to test the belt and he died instantly. The murderer is still on the run.

 

Two Florida brothers convinced a dentist into letting them chop off his finger. They would claim it was an accident and the three would split the insurance money. The dentist at first agreed, but quickly changed his mind. The brothers became infuriated, held the dentist down and forcibly cut his index finger off. The dentist could no longer practice and collected over one million dollars. When the brothers tried to extort money from the dentist, he reported them to the FBI. They were promptly arrested.

 

An inebriated man stood naked in his front yard one night and began shooting at cars that passed by. Finally someone called the police. When the officer passed by, the drunk shot at his car also. The police man got out of the car and in an attempt to escape, the man jumped on the back of his German shepherd. The dog became angry and viscously attacked the man while the officer handcuffed him.

 

This is a story of a police officer in NH. He pulled over a woman and told her to get out of her car. He started to beat her with the nightstick. He then told her to get back in her car. At this point he gave her a ticket and told her to "Get the hell outta here!" The stupid part was he left the camera in his cruiser running.

 

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

 

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline form a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesperson said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

 

A man tried shaking a pop machine to get free pop. However, he shook the machine to hard and the machine fell on him, and killed him instantly.

 

A criminal broke into a guy's house and shoved the old man into a closet, unfortunately, he shoved him into the closet that held the man's gun collection. At the time, I heard this story; the criminal was in critical condition.

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