Diet and Fitness
The
following are questions our readers may be having about keeping their body in
shape and looking after themselves. We
hope this FAQ will clear up and misconceptions you may be having.
Q:
I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A:
Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Everything wears out
eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like
saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
longer? ... Take a nap.
Q:
Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A:
You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And
what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable slop.
Q:
Is beer or wine bad for me?
A:
Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know,
scientists divide everything in the world into three
categories:
animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal,
and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one
thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid
vegetables.
Q:
How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A:
Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If
you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q:
What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A:
Gee ... I can't think of a single, solitary one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain -- No Pain.
Q:
Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A:
Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be
doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.