Confession
A 92-year-old man walks into the confessional booth and tells the priest, "I've been faithfully married to the same woman for the last 70 years. Last night my wife was out of town. I went out and picked up two 19-year-old college girls and took them back to my place, and made love to each of them three times."
The priest is more than a little surprised, but he's heard worse sins in his job. "How do you feel about this sin, my son?" he asks.
"What sin? I feel great!" the old man responds.
Now the priest is outraged. "You feel great? What kind of Catholic are you?"
"I'm not a Catholic at all," the old man laughs. "I'm Jewish!"
"Then why are you here telling me this?"
And the old man says, "I'm telling everybody!"