Engineers
Comprehending
Engineers - Take One:
Two
engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did
you get such a great bike? " The second engineer replied, "Well, I as
walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up
on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and
said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded
approvingly,
"Good
choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Comprehending
Engineers - Take Two:
To
the optimist, the glass is half full. To a pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Comprehending
Engineers - Take Three:
A
pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly
slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must
have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't
know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,
here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi
George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't
they? The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind
fire-fighters. They lost their
sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year,
so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent
for a moment.
The
pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to
contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for
them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Comprehending
Engineers - Take Four:
What
is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical
Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
Comprehending
Engineers - Take Five:
Normal
people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."
Comprehending
Engineers - Take Six:
An
architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to
spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with
his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist
said he enjoyed time with his mistress because of the passion and mystery he
found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and
get some work done."
Comprehending
Engineers - Take Seven:
An
engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said,
"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay
with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If
you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING
you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've
told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look,
I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog
........
Now that's cool!!!