Cards You'll never see in Hallmark
“Looking
back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder
- What was I thinking?”
“Congratulations
on your wedding day’ - Too bad no
one likes your wife.”
“How
could two people as beautiful you - have
such an ugly baby?”
“I’ve
always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love
- After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.”
“I
must admit, you brought Religion in my life - I
never believed in Hell until I met you.”
“As
the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that
you’re not here to ruin it for me.”
“As
you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you’ve given me.
“Thanks
for being a part of my life
-
I never knew what evil was before this!”
“Before
you go - I would like you to
take this knife out of my back. You’ll probably need it again.”
“Someday
I hope to get married - Just
not to you.”
“You
look great for your age - Almost
Lifelike!”
“When
we were together, you always said you’d die for
"I
knew the day would come when you would leave me for my Best Friend
- So here’s his leash, water bowl and chew toys.”
“We
have been friends for a very long time
- What do you say we call it quits?”
“I’m
so miserable without you - It’s
almost like you’re here.”
“Congratulations
on your new bundle of joy - Did
you ever find out who the father was?”
“You
are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one
life jacket - I‘d miss you heaps and think of you often.”
“Your
friends and I wanted to do something special for your Birthday
- So we’re having you put to sleep.”