Animal Magic

A man decides that he wants a pet, but not just any pet, a really unusual pet. He walks into the pet shop and goes up to the service assistant. "Excuse me I want a pet, not just any pet, an unusual pet".

The service assistant replies "I have just the thing for you, it’s a talking centipede".

"Cool" the man exclaims "I'll take it".

The man takes the centipede home in his little box and places him on the kitchen table.  he looks into the box and says " Hey centipede, how about you and me going to the pub for a beer?" The centipede doesn't answer, so the guy thinks, I'll just go off for five minutes and come back and ask again. 

Five minutes pass and the guy returns "Hey centipede how about you and me go down to the pub for a beer?". Again the centipede doesn't answer. "Hmmmm" the guy thinks to himself, I'll just go off and watch a TV show and come back to ask him again.

Half an hour passes and the guy once again returns to the centipede. "I'll just ask one more time" he tells himself.

"Hey centipede, how about me and you go down to the pub for a beer"

The centipede looks up at the man and says "for F*cks sake man I heard you the first time, I'm putting my shoes on!"

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