and on the Seventh Day
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day, resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God
sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the
clouds "Look Michael, look what I've made." Said God
Archangel
Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's
a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?"
inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of
Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and
wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will
be a hotspot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent
of white people and over there is a continent of black people,"
God
continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot
and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The
Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small area of land and
said, "What's that ?"
"Ah,"
said God. "That's Manchester, the most glorious place on Earth. There are
beautiful people, 1 great football team, an impressive cathedral and home
to a number of the worlds greatest ever pop groups . The people from
Manchester are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to
be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and
high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and
carriers of peace."
Michael
gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance,
God? You said there will be
BALANCE!"
God
replied wisely, "Wait until you see the w@nkers I'm putting next to them in
Liverpool."