Accident Report
Australian bricklayer report
Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story.
Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for
sure.......
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional
information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor
planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation
and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was
working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work,
I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to
be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I
decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the
side of the building on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I
weigh 135lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless
to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which
was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in
section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the
pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At
approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and
the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed
approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I
began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the
third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and
several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change
slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my
injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three
vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the
pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence
of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin
its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry.
Kind Regards,