Disclaimer: The concept and the people in the story are fictional and the
property of several production companies. I only borrow them and return them
unharmed and unmarked. No money is made of the story and no infringement is
meant.
*Chapter
13 – Falling apart*
*Washington DC*
Tony watched with a cold smile as Gibbs interrogated Sergeant Smith’s
CO. They had found the stolen property in a dealer’s warehouse. The dealer had
identified the CO as the seller of the paintings and the jewelry. During a
search of the CO’s house, they had found the tape that had been used to tie
Smith up. Finally, Abby had proven that the same microorganisms that lived in
the pond where Smith had drowned were also found on the CO’s uniform.
They had their killer, but what they didn’t have yet was a motive. Tony
had no doubt though, that very soon they would have that too. There weren’t
many men that could withstand Gibbs’ look long enough and Tony doubted that the
CO was one of them.
“How long do you think?” McGee’s question made Tony smile, and meeting
his colleagues’ eyes he shrugged casually. “Not even five minutes.”
McGee shook his head, but then suddenly looked at Tony with a grin. “And how long until you would break?”
The thought of being interrogated by Gibbs in a more private setting
sent a bolt of arousal through Tony that surprised him and at the same time
made him grin. He had never really ventured into the domain of discipline or
role plays, but if what Danny told him was true and the spike of lust at the
thought of Gibbs in interrogator mood was an indication, it was something he
probably needed to explore.
“Me? Hell, I’d last not even five minutes, cause unlike him in there, I
know what Gibbs is capable of.” McGee grinned, but Tony’s smile faded as he
turned back to watch his partner interrogate the suspect. He had only been half
joking, because he did know what Gibbs was capable of, not in the ways of
torture or interrogation, but Tony knew that Gibbs held a completely different
kind of power over him, one that made it almost impossible to lie to him.
He pushed the frightening thought away and focused on the good times he
had experienced with his partner. Jethro loved him and would never hurt him on purpose.
A shudder ran through Tony at the thought and the memories it woke, before he
concentrated again on the man in front of him.
---
*New York*
“What’s up with you and Bonasera?” Elliot hat been
waiting for Olivia’s questions ever since she had caught him looking at Stella.
He had actually even gone as far as preparing an answer, but it hadn’t helped
because right now he was at a loss. Olivia smiled and gently put a hand onto
his arm. They were on their way to the crime lab and Elliot was both dreading
and looking forward to see Stella.
“Nothing’s up, I’m just... I don’t really know, she’s something, you
know.” It sounded lame to his ears but Olivia seemed to understand him as she
nodded.
“Ask her out.” She suddenly said after a minute of silence. “Once we’re
done with this case, ask her out.”
The simple suggestion made Elliot swallow hard. He hadn’t dated for
longer than he cared to think about it. It had always been Maureen and when she
had left him only a couple of months ago, he had been devastated.
“I can’t ask her out. I’m not even divorced yet.” The word divorce
still tasted bitter in his mouth. Marriage was supposed to last forever, was
supposed to be a oath for lifetime and not finish in
tears after twenty-something years. Born and raised a catholic Elliot had
abandoned many of the Church’s rigid teachings, but he had always believed in
the sacredness of marriage. Had believed, he thought sarcastically, had
believed in it until his own wife had told him to leave his house.
“Elliot?” Olivia’s voice drew him back from his musings into reality
and he smiled sheepishly at her as he realized that she had stopped the car and
was waiting next to his door for him to get out. For a moment, she looked at
him concerned. “Are you going to be ok?”
She had every right to ask after she had nursed him through the first
couple of weeks and even though he had his own flat now, he still spent most of
the time in her’s.
“I’ll be fine. Sometimes it just hits me again.” He trailed off as he
stepped into the elevator and they rode up the the crime lab’s floor in
silence.
The new rooms were much brighter than the almost tomb like atmosphere
in the old building and Elliot liked the new building a lot, despite that
though he got tenser by the minute as he followed Olivia towards Stella’s
office.
The door was open as they approached and Elliot could hear Stella’s
laughter followed by Taylor’s dark chuckle. There was something knowing, almost
intimate in the sound that made Elliot flinch. He had always assumed that
Taylor and Stella were friends, but now as Taylor walked out of the office, his
eyes seemed to have a special glow and for the first time since Elliot worked
with Taylor, he could see a real smile on the other man’s face.
“Detectives.” Taylor’s greeting was
friendly, but curt and as Elliot and Olivia entered Stella’s office, poked his
head back into it too. “You’ll keep me informed, Stella, will you?”
Stella nodded. “Either Nick or me will keep you in the loop.”
Watching her watching Taylor leave, Elliot could see the fond smile
that played on Stella’s face and he felt ridiculous for being jealous. She
smiled once more, and turned towards Olivia and Elliot.
“Hey, thanks for coming over. I’ll call Nick. He’s still somewhere with
Sid.” She leaned over towards the phone, but somehow her eyes met Elliot’s and
although the look wasn’t longer than a second or two, the effect it had on
Elliot was amazing. He felt a shiver running through his body and the intensity
of his feelings shook him to his core. Swallowing hard, he felt Olivia’s eyes
on him.
“You’re doomed.” She whispered and as much as he wanted. Elliot
couldn’t deny, that she was right.
---
Nick had seen Mac leave his and Stella’s office with a smile on his face
and meeting him in the hallway, he teased him with a gentle smile. “Danny is
going to be jealous if you leave Stella’s office with such a smile everyday. “
Mac looked surprised for a moment, before he laughed. “Maybe, but today
is a special occasion.”
He showed Nick two tickets and Nick whistled silently as he saw that
they were tickets for a Rangers game. “I thought the Saturday game was sold
out?”
Now Mac grinned like a cat who’s eaten the
canary. “Stella’s got connections.”
Laughing, Nick shook his head and cautioned Mac. “Don’t tell Don, else
you might get mugged in a dark alley.”
Chuckling too, Mac walked on and Nick continued towards his office,
when his cell phone rang. “Nick, Stella here. Detectives Benson and Stabler are
here. Can you spare a minute?”
Stella sounded slightly breathless, something that happened quite often
when Elliot was concerned and Nick made a mental note the question her after
the detectives had left. First though, he had a job to do. “I’m on my way.”
He was almost at the door. Walking into the room he greeted Olivia and
Elliot, before he lifted up two sheets. “Good news or bad
news first?”
Olivia shrugged and guessed. “We have no match?”
Sighing lightly, Nick nodded. “We are looking for a man though, that
much we know, but CODIS didn’t come back with a hit and neither did any of the
other databases.”
He looked at Stella who shook her head. “Nothing from my side either.”
Nick could feel Elliot look at him and saw how his friend frowned a bit.. “So which part was the good news? That we’re looking for
a man?”
Grinning at the dark humor of his friend, Nick nodded. “That and we
have a DNA sample, so if you give us something to compare it with, then we can
match it.”
Olivia frowned too, but remained silent, while Elliot recounted their
findings. “She lived a stable wealthy life, liked art, you were right about the
photographer by the way, but none of her friends at work really seem to know
her. They told us long stories about how she was managing her job, how she was
dealing with the stress and everything, but they didn’t even know where she
lived. There was one friend though, who told us that Lydia has been dating
someone in the last couple of months, however according to Lydia, it had to remain a secret.”
“Married man?” Stella’s guess was met with
a shrug as Elliot continued. “I asked her if she had a feeling that this
mystery lover was abusing Lydia, but her friend insisted that Lydia was capable
of protecting herself.”
Nick sighed and the uneasiness that he had felt all through this case
intensified. He still couldn’t put a finger on it, but he felt as if he was
missing something vitally important.
“I asked a friend about the statue, but he has never heard of the
artist.” Stella’s words drew Nick from his musings and he shook his head. “I
don’t think that Samperonnem is an artist’s name. It’s an anagram for
Epsom-Manner, so I think who ever gave her the art work custom made it for
her.”
Having discussed the case with Don at him, Nick had thought a lot about
the statue and the name and looking at Stella he handed her a photo of the
piece. “Can you ask Frankie if he recognizes the style? There has to be a
connection between the statue and the killer. He wouldn’t have used it to beat
her so badly, if it didn’t have a special value for him.”
“Frankie?” Elliot’s voice was tight and Nick looked at his friend in
surprise. “Who’s Frankie?”
Stella had tensed too and Nick felt almost trapped between her and
Elliot as he looked between Stella and Elliot finally meeting Olivia’s
concerned eyes. Stella broke the tension before it became too obvious by taking
the picture and smiling lightly. “He’s my boyfriend. He’s an artist.”
Elliot’s eyes flickered away from Stella and for a moment, Nick saw
both jealousy and pain appear in the expressive blue eyes. Both emotions
vanished as fast as they had appeared, but those few moments had been enough to
clue Nick in. Elliot had a serious crush on Stella.
“Well maybe he can help us.” Olivia’s voice broke the silence and after
only a few more moments of small talk, both SVU detectives left the office.
Nick watched them leave, before he turned towards Stella. “What’s up between
you and Elliot?”
When he didn’t get a reply, he looked closer at Stella and grew more
concerned as he saw her closed off look. “Stella, are you ok?”
She shrugged, but it was more a gesture of helplessness than
indifference.
“I don’t know Nick. I love Frankie, I really do, but when I see Elliot there
is just so much chemistry. It’s like I’m suddenly a teenager again.”
Seeing that she was truly troubled, Nick sat down and met Stella’s eyes
with his own. “Stella, do you love Frankie or are you in love with him?”
For a moment, she was silent, then she sighed
heavily. “See that’s the problem, because I don’t know anymore.”
---
*Washington DC*
“Envy and greed, two of the deadly sins…” Tony didn’t smile at Ducky’s
words as the two of them watched the second interrogation of Sergeant Smith’s
CO. He knew that after a night in prison and the evidence they had found, it
would only be a matter of minutes until the other man confessed.
Envy and greed, Tony mused, Ducky was right. Envy had been the reason
for the murder, while greed had proved to be the killer’s downfall. Tony and
Ziva had tracked down some of the stolen paintings and the shady dealer had
been only too willing to cut a deal.
“You wanted the life Sergeant Smith had, didn’t you? You wanted the
wife, the success at the stock market, the house, but you couldn’t get it. You
were his CO, but he was better in every aspect of life. So you killed him.”
Jethro’s voice was ice cold, but Tony heard more than just the voice of the
stern NCIS agent. He knew that the case had been hard for Jethro, knew that
Mrs. Smith’s grief had reminded him of his own lost family. A while ago, it
would have made Tony sad and insecure, but after all the things that he and
Jethro had shared, he knew that while Shannon and Kelly would always be a part
of Jethro, so would he.
Envy and greed... Still listening to the interrogation, Tony’s
attention nevertheless wandered off to the email he had gotten this morning.
His father’s secretary had sent him an invitation to the family’s traditional
Christmas celebration. He was supposed to arrive on Christmas’ Eve with a
suitable partner or not come at all.
Tony wanted to laugh, but deep inside it hurt. His family would never
accept Jethro as a suitable partner and unless Tony agreed to conform to their
wishes, he was not welcome. They had never accepted any of Tony’s choices as
suitable be it his choice to become a cop or his choice in partners. The yearly
email was all the contact he still had with his family and while he had no
problem with it during the year, come Christmas he could feel the old wound
hurting again.
“Tony?” Jethro’s voice brought him out of his reverie and with a start
Tony realized that the interrogation had finished a while ago.
“Sorry, I was lost in thoughts.” Jethro waved Tony’s apology aside.
Tony expected to be told off and was completely surprised when his lover gently
caressed his hand and looked at him concerned.
“What’s wrong?” Tony wanted to laugh and deny that anything was wrong,
but Jethro’s eyes were too intense and suddenly feeling incredibly sad, Tony
swallowed hard.
“Tell me that I’m working this Christmas, please? At least then I can
tell myself that’s why I’m not welcome at my parents’ Christmas party.”
Jethro’s eyes had turned colder with each word and as Tony fell silent,
he met steel blue eyes as Jethro fixed him with his eyes. “No Tony, you’re not
working. You’re spending Christmas with me.”
There was such a fierce gentleness and love in Jethro’s words that Tony
felt his heart ache with love, but before he could say anything, Jethro continued.
“I spent every Christmas since Shannon and Kelly’s death either working or
alone. I don’t want to do that this year, not when I finally found someone to
celebrate Christmas with.”
No matter how often Tony told himself that Jethro loved him, there was
nevertheless always the reminder of the lost family in the back of his mind.
Today though Jethro had put him on the same level as his lost wife and daughter
and the impact of the simple words made Tony reel. Swallowing hard, Tony looked
at Jethro with love. “I’m not working then.”
Jethro grinned and gently swatted him on the back of his head. “No, you
won’t. Now please go and finish the report, ok?”
---
Gibbs waited until Tony had left the observation room before he balled
his hand into a fist and slammed it against the wall. He felt powerless,
helpless and he hated the feeling. Tony’s face as Gibbs had walked into the
room danced in front of his eyes and a deep shiver ran through Gibbs at the
memory.
Tony had looked lost and sad, not desperate though, it had more been
like he was revisiting an old, painful memory, a wound that had never really
closed and still festered inside him. The expression in Tony’s face had
reminded Gibbs of himself whenever he allowed himself to think of Kelly and
Shannon.
He had wanted to hug Tony in that moment, but Gibbs had been only too
aware that already too many people knew about their relationship and every
stolen moment at work was an additional risk. When Tony had spoke about his
family, Gibbs had remembered the other times, Tony had talked about his father
or mother and like in those instants Gibbs had wanted to meet these people just
once. He wanted to tell them what an excellent agent Tony was, wanted to tell
them how many lives their son had already saved, but even more he wanted to
tell them that despite the terrible role model Tony had had, he had become a
wonderful man.
A wonderful man, he would spend Christmas with. Unexpectedly Gibbs felt
a thrill go through him at the though of celebrating the holiday with Tony. He
grinned as he thought of the hours they could spend together, of the joy they
would give to each other. A smile played on his face, when he suddenly froze.
He had just had a perfect idea for a gift.
---
*New York*
Something Nick had said during the meeting with Stabler and Benson kept
returning to Stella’s mind. “Samperonnem
is an anagram. The piece was made for her.”
It wasn’t that she didn’t believe Nick, no it was something different
and as the day quieted down, she sat down on her desk
and looked at the piece of art once more. It surely was a beautiful piece, but
something about the style and material used mad her freeze and reach for a pen.
Slowly she wrote down her name and then the word ‘Aresanob’ before she started
to cross out the letters.
Her breath hitched as she stared at the result of her experiment: the
letters matched.
Still staring at the nine letters, she felt a shiver crawl over her
spine. Trembling she got up and walked towards the door just when Nick entered
the room.
“What’s going on?” Seeing the concern in Nick’s eyes, Stella forced a
smile on her face and shrugged. “I just realized that I have an appointment
with Frankie. Can you cover for me?”
Nick narrowed his eyes and looked at her closely. “Sure, I’ll cover,
but are you alright?”
Again Stella forced a smile on her face and nodded. “Everything is perfect, I just really need a PDA to sort my dates out.”
For a moment, she could see how Nick hesitated and she cursed the fact
that her friend was such a good investigator. Then though he relaxed and smiled
back. “Run off and have fun. I’ll call if we have some news.”
Breathing with relief, Stella walked to the car. Once inside she tried
to calm her racing thoughts. Was she reading too much into a simple riddle? Was
she seeing ghosts? Why hadn’t she told Nick?
The answer to the last question was simple. Stella didn’t want to make
an issue out of something that maybe was nothing. The names could be nothing
but a coincidence and taking a deep breath, Stella decided to talk with Frankie
first.
She knew that her decision might be a dangerous one, but she figured
even if Frankie had killed Lydia,, she, Stella was
trained to deal with criminals and she felt that she was able to deal with him,
no matter what.
---
Danny and Lindsay were working on their case which was a breaking and
entering in a jewelry store when Don walked in to ask them about their
progress. Seeing the rumpled suit, messed up hair and claw mark on the right
cheek, Danny grinned. “Did you have a heart to heart with our suspect?”
Growling, Don glared at his friend. “Well while you sat in your heated
office and looked into books and computers, I tried to arrest your prime
suspect which involved a lot of running around and a
nice little street fight.”
Smiling at her colleagues bantering, Lindsay looked up from her
microscope. “You won, I hope.”
Puffing his chest with an exaggerated show of pride, Don nodded. “Of
course, how can you even ask?”
Danny grinned too, but he turned serious again, when he projected
something onto the large screen. “Results from the hair and fibers that we
found...”
The banter and grin in Don’s eyes disappeared immediately and he looked
at the screen too. “What do they say?”
Pointing at a couple of figures, Danny smiled thinly. “That we’ve got
the right man.”
Don nodded with satisfaction. “At least all the running was worth it.”
Lindsay laughed. “Hey, if nothing Nick will enjoy the increased
stamina.”
Don gulped and looked as if he wanted to say something, but words obviously
failed him and so he just blushed, turned and left.
---
*Washington DC*
Gibbs felt quite weird as he walked up to the Cartier shop. He had
never visited a shop this posh unless if he was here in an official function
and he had certainly never bought anything.
He had thought about the perfect gift for Tony for a lot more than he
cared to admit, but then by chance he had seen an article in a paper. The
article had been about the love bracelet from Cartier and it had detailed how
this line had existed since the seventies and how even now couples still bought
the bracelet and its matching key. The idea behind the bracelet, the history as
a symbol of love and the warmth that he felt at the thought of wearing
something that tied him to Tony and Tony to him… all those things had convinced
him that the bracelet was the perfect gift.
Now all he had to do was work up the courage to buy it.
“Can I help you sir?” The assistant was friendly in a professional way
and showed him an example of the bracelets in gold. He looked at them and
immediately knew that he wanted something less flashy to which she suggested
the platinum bracelet.
Telling him that she would have to order it from New York, she assured
him that it would be ready for Christmas. Gibbs was almost giddy as he left the
store thirty minutes later with the knowledge that he had found the perfect
gift for his lover.
---
New York
Nick was tired after a fruitless day in the lab. He would have
preferred a double or triple shift to the dullness of a day getting nowhere and
staring at computers. Of course he knew that days like today happened and
sometimes he even welcomed them, because they gave him time to catch up with
his administrative duties, but at the same time he hated it if a case stalled like
the murder of Lydia Epsom Manner did.
He was about to shut down his computer, when Adam almost ran into his
office. The lab tech looked excited and before Nick could say anything, Adam
already spoke. “You have to see this, you won’t
believe what I found on the victim’s laptop.”
Following Adam, Nick smiled at the other man’s enthusiasm, but when he
looked at the folders on the computer, he couldn’t see anything special. Adam
grinned. “There didn’t seem to be anything special on it, but then I looked at
the deleted items. Now we all know that the completely erase something from a
computer, you almost have to reformat the hard drive and that’s actually what
she has done. She’s missed something though and that’s the cache of the web
browser. I looked at the last visited sites and found this site.”
He clicked on a web address and Nick swallowed hard as he read it.
“www.samperonnem.com, Adam that’s the name of the piece of art she was beaten
with.”
Adam nodded and opened the link. The webpage that opened at the request
was clearly pornographic and promised to show real life action with real woman.
Frowning Nick motioned for Adam to click on one of the free samples and gasped
as he recognized the woman in the film. “That’s our victim.”
Adam looked up and without even asking pulled his credit card to fill
in an application form. Nick stopped him horrified. “You can’t buy access to a
sex site on the lab’s computer.”
Looking at Nick, Adam shrugged. “If you go through the official
channels, it’s gonna take you at least two days, do you want to wait this
long?”
Thinking for a moment, Nick shrugged and taking it as a no, Adam keyed
in the necessary details and accessed the site. “That’s a pretty professional
operation, well set up and everything. Do you think, she
worked for them?”
Nick shook his head as he remembered what Elliot had told him in the
meeting this morning. “No, she had no other income than from her job and
investments. Maybe she didn’t know she was being filmed?”
Nick shuddered as he remembered Nigel Crane and the seemingly endless
tapes that his stalker had made of him. Nick had been shocked to realize how
deeply his privacy had been invaded by the other man and the thought that Lydia
Epsom had been violated like this made him want to vomit. Wasn’t it enough that
she had been brutally beaten and then stabbed to death? Did her killer exploit
her even after her death?
“Nick, this was clearly filmed secretly. See how she obviously waits
for someone?”
Adam’s voice brought Nick back to the reality and to Lydia Epsom
waiting for her lover wearing sexy underwear. The scenery was almost painfully
intimate and Adam had a look of distaste in his eyes as they met Nick’s. “What
kind of a bastard does this?”
Nick wanted to answer, but before he could say anything a man appeared
on the screen and everything inside Nick froze. He knew the man, knew the face
and the gentle laughter. Cold dread began to flow through his veins as he
looked at Adam. “Call Mac, Danny and Stabler and Benson, tell them to come to
the lab immediately.”
Adam looked at him confused. “Do you know him?”
Nick was almost out of the lab when he heard the questions and he
already had his phone out to call Stella. Yes, he thought in an answer to
Adam’s question, yes, he knew the man in the film. He had spoken to him a
couple of times and had actually liked him. Looking at Adam he swallowed hard.
“It’s Stella’s boyfriend.”
Stella wasn’t answering her phone and by the time Nick reached his
office, he concern had risen to panic. He dialed Don’s number when his eyes
fell onto the note pad on Stella’s table. The phone slipped from his hand as he
understood. It was Stella’s surname that was written on the note pad next to an
anagram of her name and remembering how distracted Stella had been right before
she had left, Nick shivered.
She had seen the connection between the man she loved and the killer
she hunted and instead of telling Nick, she had decided to face the man she
loved alone. Nick’s legs gave in as he stared at the letters in front of him.
“Nick?” Don’s voice came through the phone and Nick quickly grabbed it.
“Don, where are you?”
From the moment of silence on the other side, Nick knew that Don had
picked up on his panic. “At home, why?”
“Frankie is probably Lydia Epsom’s killer. And Stella is with him right
now.” Don was silent for a moment, but when he spoke again, his voice was cold.
“I’m closest to her home. I’ll drive over and check on her. Can you give me
Frankie’s address once you have it?”
Nick’s heart was beating hard when he said good bye to his lover and
his voice was serious as he silently told him. “Be careful, please.”
---
*Chapter
14 – Shattered into pieces*
New
York
Don forced himself not to
drive too fast, not to drive too reckless. Everything in him was tense and all he
could concentrate on was Nick’s words over and over again. “Frankie is Lydia Epsom’s killer. And Stella is with him right now.”
Just the thought of Stella
being in danger made Don want to press his foot down onto the gas, but
rationally he knew that he couldn’t help her if he had an accident and he
controlled the fear and anxiety while he drove towards her house. He didn’t
know what he would find and the insecurity was worse than anything else.
Finding a parking spot in
Stella’s street was almost impossible, and today was no different than any
other day with one exception, normally Don would drive around and search for a
spot, today though he simply stopped the car in front of her house and not
bothering with any explanation to the concierge, he ran towards the stairs.
Stella lived on the sixth floor and he knew that he was faster running up the
six flights of stairs than if he waited for the elevator. He could feel his
heart pounding in his ears and by the time he was on the fifth floor, he was
breathing hard and almost slowed down when he heard the shot.
For a moment, everything in
Don froze. Rationally he knew that he should call the police now,
that he should stop his mad dash up to Stella’s flat, but right now he
wasn’t acting rationally because all he knew was that one of his best friends
was in the company of a killer and that someone had shot a gun.
Be
careful, please. Nick’s voice
suddenly broke through his mind and without wanting too,
Don slowed down, stopped and took a deep, calming breath. He couldn’t help
Stella if he acted like an out of control cop banging at her door and
threatening everyone with his gun. Focusing again, Don took another deep breath
before he reached for his mobile phone and called dispatch.
“Detective Flack, I’m at … looking
for a suspect. Shots have been fired inside suspect’s flat, requesting back up
please.”
For a moment he heard
nothing but static noise, then he got an answer. “Back up is already on its
way, should be at your position in five minutes, please wait for back up until
you proceed.”
Pressing his lips together,
Don stared at the door in front of him. He couldn’t wait another five minutes,
but he knew police procedures too well to argue with the cop on the other side of
the line. “Ok, just tell them to hurry. The suspect might have one of us as a
hostage.”
He heard the quickly indrawn
breath on the other line and as the woman answered her voice was tighter. “I’ll
pass that along. You wait for back up, will you?”
Don flipped his phone closed
without an answer, and looked again at the closed door. He didn’t know if
behind this thin looking door his best friend was fighting for her life, he
didn’t know if Stella was already dead and he had come too late. All he knew was
that, those five minutes would be the longest in his life. Swallowing hard, Don
opened his phone again. He had to call Nick.
---
Mac had listened to Nick
without interrupting him, he had looked at the video and the pictures of Lydia
Epsom’s crime scene and he still hadn’t said anything. Danny had watched his
partner, had seen how he had visibly withdrawn, had tried to get a mental
barrier between the case he saw and the feelings he had for Stella, but Danny
had also seen that none of Mac’s techniques had worked. Mac was deeply afraid,
or even more accurate; Mac was terrified of losing Stella.
When Don called and told
them about the shot he had heard, Danny saw how Mac stopped breathing for the
shortest moment and although his own fear was almost making him forget rational
thoughts, Danny pushed it back and quietly put his hand on Mac’s shoulder.
Mac’s reaction was immediate as he turned around and glared at Danny. “What do
you want?”
Gently Danny took the crime
scene pictures from Mac’s hand and shook his head. “We don’t have to look at
those pictures, Mac, we know what they say. Right now we can’t do anything
here.”
For a moment, Mac glared at
Danny, before he sighed. “I can’t just wait.”
“No, we can’t.” Nick’s voice
was tight and looking at his friend Danny noticed how Nick’s face was pale with
worry and fear and suddenly he understood that Nick was not only afraid for
Stella but also for Don. Looking at Nick he frowned lightly. “What do you want
to do?”
Nick shrugged. “Drive out
there, and don’t tell me that it will be all over when we arrive. It’s our job
to make sure he will put behind bars.”
Looking between Mac and
Nick, Danny noticed for the first time that his best friend and his partner had
some very similar character traits and one of them was the urge to protect
those they believed to be a part of their family. He thought about arguing,
telling them both that it made no sense, because they wouldn’t be allowed to
work the case anyway, but one look at either of the men told Danny that right
now they weren’t exactly up to understand a reasonable argument and pasting a
grin on his face, Danny grabbed Mac’s key. “Ok, but I’ll drive.”
---
When Elliot answered his
phone and suddenly paled, Olivia knew that something bad had happened. She had
only seen this expression of horror and fear once and it had been on the day
when a madman had threatened his family. Heart beating fast, she waited for him
to end the call and say something, but instead he clicked the phone shut,
indicated right and stopped the car at the side of the road.
“Elliot?” Her tentative
question made him shiver and turn towards her.
“Nick called. They found the
killer.” He spoke in a hurried and almost pressed way and again Olivia wondered
what Nick had said exactly. She didn’t have to wonder for much longer though as
Elliot continued harshly. “It’s Stella’s boyfriend and she’s with him right
now.”
For a moment, Olivia was
sure that she had misheard, but when the realization set in, she shivered and looked
at Elliot in shock. “Then why are we stopping here?”
Elliot closed his eyes for a
moment and when he looked at her, she almost gasped with the fear and pain that
lurked in the blue depths; he shivered a bit and then shook his head. “I can’t
drive.”
Olivia knew how much the
simple admission had cost Elliot and without saying anything, she simply got
out of the car and traded places with him. Indicating she waited until a car
stopped and let them join the long line of cars. It felt like forever until
they had finally left the busy streets of Manhattan and drove to the quieter
suburb where Stella lived. Elliot hadn’t spoken a word and Olivia wanted
nothing more than tell him it would be alright only she couldn’t. She had
worked too many crime scenes to know that nothing was all right.
“I’m scared.” The three
words felt like an explosion in the car and with a shiver Olivia looked at her
friend. Elliot’s face was drawn and she spared a second to touch his hand. “I
know.”
He smiled darkly despite his
fear as he shook his head.
“I hated the guy without
even knowing him, just because he was Stella’s boyfriend...” For a moment he
stopped talking and looked at Olivia. “If there is a chance of me shooting him,
make sure I don’t.”
The admission in his voice made
Olivia tense, but again she could understand the sentiment and remembered only
too well how close to shooting someone she had come when Alex had been
threatened. Love was a powerful emotion and at times like this a dangerous one.
---
Don looked up sharply when
he saw Detective Maka and four armed officers quickly run up the stairs. She
gave him a hard look and shook her head. “Stay back Don, I don’t want you in
there until we’ve cleared the scene.”
Incredulous he looked at her
and growled silently. “I won’t wait here while Stella might die in there.”
He turned away from Kaile
who gently grabbed his arm. “Don, you’re too close.”
Her words only fuelled his
anger and narrowing his eyes he fixed her coldly. “And you aren’t? For goodness
sake, Kaile we all are too close, no matter who you
send in there.”
She swallowed hard and with
a sigh gave in. “Ok, but you stay behind me and don’t even think of touching
him ok?”
Smiling evilly Don nodded.
He wouldn’t touch the bastard, but he knew that the rest of the team was not
going to treat Frankie with kid gloves.
“NYPD, open up!” Kaile’s voice rang through the empty corridor, but
even as Don tensed and waited for some noise, something, anything, all they got
was complete silence. Sharing a look with Don, Kaile nodded at one of the
officer and indicated that he should break the door.
It took three attempts and
every second seemed to last an hour in Don’s opinion but finally the door
yielded with a loud smash and immediately he followed Kaile. The silence of the
apartment scared him and he had to reign in the urge to walk past Kaile and
search for Stella.
“Detectives...” The
officer’s voice held shock and fear and the emotions made Don tense even more.
He exchanged a look with Kaile and followed the voice only to freeze in the
door at the sight of Stella lying in a pool of blood next to Frankie.
---
Mac walked into the
apartment and immediately smelled the scent of gunpowder and blood. It made him
walk faster while at the same time some voice inside his head screamed at him
to stop and not go any further. If he didn’t see what happened, then it hadn’t happened, had it?
It was a child’s reaction to
a traumatic event and Mac silently scolded himself for the coward’s reaction.
He turned around the corner and saw Stella lying on the floor,
saw Don rush towards her and immediately reached out to stop him. ”Don’t
disturb the evidence.”
Don stared at him shocked
and almost growled. “This isn’t evidence, it’s Stella.”
Mac felt the accusation like
a blow to his stomach, but before he could reply anything, he felt a gentle
hand on his back and looking up his eyes met Danny’s. “The paramedics are
here.”
He let go of Don and watched
as Don immediately moved only to be held back by Nick. Nick
who didn’t say a word, just looked at Don and Mac could see that in the one
look, Nick said enough to calm Don down. With a shiver Mac turned towards
Stella’s motionless body and deep inside himself he felt a cold beginning to
spread. She was too pale, to still and instinctively
he searched for Danny. He didn’t care that they were a secret, didn’t care that
Danny and he were not supposed to hold hands, he
needed to touch his lover right now, needed to know that despite the darkness
he felt around him, there was still something good in his life.
“She’s alive.” The
paramedic’s words slowly cleared the fog that had started to could Mac’s mind
and suddenly he was aware of how silent the room had become, how every person
had almost frozen until the verdict had come in. Stella was alive. The relief Mac felt, made his knees buckle for a second and once
again, he felt Danny’s hand on his back stabilizing him, giving him strength.
He spared a second the silently thank his partner, before he looked at the
paramedic. “What’s her condition?”
The paramedic shrugged and
looked a bit helpless. “She has lost a lot of blood from her head wound, but
it’s a shallow wound at least from what I can see and there’s intensive
bruising at her neck. I think he tried to strangle her.”
The words made Mac shiver,
but at the same time brought his attention back to the room and the crime
scene. He looked around and saw the two bloody footprints that led to the door.
He frowned and followed the path with his eyes when Nick suddenly called him
over. “Mac, you have to see this.”
Following Nick’s voice he
walked through the corridor and opened the bathroom door. For a second he felt
as if he had stepped into a horror movie. There was blood everywhere, but what
shocked him even more was the person in the bath tub. It was Frankie, Stella’s
boyfriend and he was dead. Shot three times from what Mac could see and with a
sickening feeling Mac exchanged a look with Nick.
The shock he felt was
mirrored in Nick’s eyes coupled with the knowledge that with the discovery of
her boyfriend shot dead, Stella had just become a murder suspect.
---
The first thing Stella
noticed was the pain and for a long time there was nothing else. It was like a dark
veil surrounding her, muting all sounds and all other feelings. She couldn’t
even say where the pain originated from, couldn’t pinpoint the source, the
reason.
It frightened her and with a
groan she tried to open her eyes, tried to move only to feel that her body was
restrained by something. Panic set in immediately and she tried to get free
from whoever was holding her. Stella had no idea who was holding her down, but
she knew instinctively that she was in danger, knew that she had to fight for
her life. She tried to scream, when a hand touched her arm and a soft voice
spoke to her.
“Shh, it’s ok, you’re safe.
It’s ok Stella.”
Stella knew the voice and it
calmed her that she wasn’t alone. Slowly she stopped moving, listened to the
gentle words spoken in that familiar soothing voice. In the back of her mind
she searched for a face to go with the voice, but her mind was clouded by the
pain and the lure of the darkness was strong, the lure of forgetting, of just
giving into the nothing that beckoned her. And yet there was that voice again.
“We’re all here for you.
You’re not alone, Stella, you’re safe.” Safe... the word trickled through the
sea of pain and she nodded in the darkness.
“Safe...” She wasn’t aware
that she had spoken until a hand gently moved over her face. The lure of the
darkness was stronger now than before but the voice pulled her back from it
once again. “Yes, Stella, you’re safe. Nothing will happen to you, I’m here
now.”
Again the caress and the
voice made her feel secure and with a sigh she wanted to open her eyes, wanted
to see who was caring so much for her. She knew the person that she was sure
of, but her mind was clouded by the pain and even as she fought against the
darkness, she could feel herself loosing. It was so alluring just to give in
and float away.
---
Nick was sitting at Stella’s
bed and watched over her sleeping body when the realization hit him, that this
was how his own team had watched over him after he had been found. He wasn’t
sure why he knew or how because he had no clear memories of the first couple of
days in the hospital, but he was sure that in the first hours, he had never
been alone.
Now, sitting next to Stella,
waiting for her to wake up, he had flashes of voices of people talking to him
and pleading with him to wake up. Nick shivered and pushed the memories aside
as he noticed how Stella suddenly moved. He saw the frown that marred her face
and carefully touched her hair, caressed her gently while he spoke to her.
“It’s ok, Stella, you’re
safe.” He felt her tense, before she opened her eyes and sighing with relief,
Nick looked at her. “Hey, welcome back.”
She smiled at his words
before she frowned and blinked. “Where am I?”
Knowing how frightening it
was to wake up in a strange place with no real recollection as to what had happened, Nick kept the light touches going while he smiled
at her. “You’re at the hospital.”
It took a second for her to
digest that and Nick could almost see how her mind tried together the pieces of
what had happened. He ached for her. Nick remembered only too well how it was
to hover between this line of reality and dream an how
surreal everything seemed in the first moment. Most of all though, he knew how
crushing the moment was when everything came back and the memory of the past
events returned. He waited for the recognition in her eyes, but all he saw was
confusion. “Why am I at the hospital?”
Dread slowly rose in Nick’s
gut at the question, but he pushed it down as he explained gently. “You were injured
on a case, Stella, do you remember?”
Her eyes searched him and
Nick saw the fear in them even as she slowly shook her head. “No, I don’t
remember anything.”
---
*Washington
DC*
“What? Damn it Mac, you
don’t get a break, do you?” Gibbs cursed lightly as he saw how Tony’s head
snapped up at his words. His partner looked at him with fear in his eyes, but
Gibbs shook his head indicating that he would explain later. Tony simply nodded
and turned back to the book he had been browsing in. It had been a quiet
evening for them when out of the blue Mac had called and told him about Stella.
Gibbs listened to Mac’s
explanations, but he heard more than just the words Mac spoke. He knew Mac
better than most, because in many ways Mac ticked like him and Gibbs understood
that Mac was both terrified and angry that someone had dared to threaten a
person he considered his family.
“She’s a suspect, can you
believe it?” There was so much outrage behind the words that Gibbs sighed and
cautiously tried to reason with his friend. “Mac, you’re a CSI, you know that
she is a suspect, she has to be after all that happened.”
Mac was silent on the other
end of the phone and Gibbs sighed. “You’re team is the best unit I’ve ever met,
Mac, you’ll find the truth.”
“I’m not sure I want to know
it.” Mac’s words were so soft, that Gibbs could barely understand it, but when
he did, he swallowed hard. “I understand that Mac, but in the end, the truth is
what we search whether we want to know or not.”
It wasn’t a very comforting
thought and yet it seemed to help Mac at least a bit. “I know, thanks for
reminding me though.”
The words ended the phone
call and turning around, Gibbs felt Tony’s eyes rest on him again. “What’s
going on in New York?”
He explained what Mac had
told him and he could immediately see how Tony paled. Stella had been one of
the investigators responsible for clearing Tony of the murder charges and Gibbs
knew that his lover still felt deeply grateful for her help. “How is she?”
“Mac said that she’s not
remembering anything. She had a concussion and is severely bruised, but there
are no further injuries.” Gibbs knew what Tony wanted to know and sighing
deeply, he shook his head. “She wasn’t sexually assaulted or at least Mac
didn’t say anything about it.”
“And now she’s a suspect.”
Tony’s voice was full of memories and Gibbs immediately reached out to soothe
his partner. Tony leaned against him and looked up with a smile. “Thanks,
Jethro.”
“They’ll find the truth.”
Gibbs heard himself say and he saw how Tony sighed. “I know, but it doesn’t
make the wait easier for Stella.”
Gibbs nodded and wondered if
there was anything he could do to help his friends in NY, but as if Tony had
read his mind, he shook his head. “We’re stuck here, Jethro, we can’t do
anything.”
Unfortunately Tony was right
with his assessment; they were stuck with their own case and the paperwork.
Pulling Tony closer to him, Gibbs sighed. “Mac said that we should come and
visit them after the holidays, I think that might be a great idea.”
Tony nodded and turned
around with a slight twinkling in his eyes. “And don’t forget about the road
trip to Vegas, we promised Grissom that we’d join Nick.”
Groaning Gibbs remembered
the conversation he’d had with Grissom on that subject, he wasn’t a fan of big
group holidays and yet. “Who’s going?”
“Mac, Danny, Nick and Don
and us.” Gibbs knew that Tony could see his mental cringe and promptly Tony
laughed. “Come on, it will be great, you and Mac can be the grown up adults
with Grissom while Nick, Don and I go out.”
Sudden possessiveness
gripped Gibbs and looked at his lover intently. “You won’t go anywhere without
me.”
Tony’s eyes grew soft as he
reached up and caressed Gibbs’ face. “You know that I won’t.”
And it was the truth, Gibbs
thought not without surprise. He knew without a doubt that Tony was his and
that even should he go out with Nick or Don, he would always return to Gibbs.
He smiled and pulled Tony’s head towards his for a soft kiss. “Yes, I know.”
---
*New
York*
“Am I a murderer?” Stella’s
question made Mac stiffen and close his eyes for a moment before he calmed
himself and turned towards her. The fear and confusion in her eyes made him
want to cry, but instead he sat down next to her bed and took one of her hands.
“No, Stella, you’re not.”
His words were honest and came straight from the heart, but they weren’t
supported by evidence and as Stella looked at him, Mac knew that she knew too.
“But if it weren’t me, you’d think I’m a killer.”
Shaking his head, Mac looked
down for a moment, before their eyes met again. “Stella, we know that Frankie
killed Lydia Epsom-Manner and from what the evidence tells us so far, he tried
to kill you. You might have killed him, but I don’t think it was a murder.”
Her face was still paler
than normal and her eyes were incredibly dark against the paleness of her
complexion as she swallowed hard. “But you don’t have any evidence and I don’t
remember.”
“You will remember, Stella,
just give yourself time and Nick and Danny are working as hard as they can to find
the truth.” A knock at the door made him look up and he smiled as he saw Elliot
Stabler stand in the door. He wanted to greet the other man, when Stabler’s
eyes fell onto the bed and Mac saw how he tensed as he noticed that Mac was
still holding Stella’s hand.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to
disturb.” Stabler’s voice was clipped and before either Mac or Stella could say
anything, he turned and left the room again. Mac’s eyes followed him before he
looked at Stella and saw the obvious disappointment in her eyes. Smiling a bit
at the thought of playing match maker, he pressed her hand quickly.
“Idiot.” Her eyes flared a bit, but before she could say
anything, Mac leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’ll run and bring him
back, ok?”
Stella blushed a bit. “You
don’t have to...”
Mac interrupted her
immediately. “Yes, I have to, because if I don’t talk to him right now, the
entire NYPD will think that we’re an item and I don’t think Danny would like
that.”
She smiled faintly and
clutched his hand again. “Thanks Mac, thanks for being a friend.”
Mac swallowed hard and
gently brushed a lock from her face. “We’ll find the truth, Stella, I promise
you.”
She nodded slowly and he
could feel her eyes on him as he left the room and quickly followed into the
same direction that Stabler had taken. If he was lucky, he’d catch Stabler
before he left the hospital, else he would have to drive to the SVU’s offices.
“Stabler.” Calling the other
man’s name, Mac walked faster until he was next to Stabler who turned towards
him with cold eyes “What do you want?”
Sighing at the words and the
hard voice, Mac shook his head and steered Stabler towards the cafeteria.
“Look, why don’t we sit down?”
Once they had a coffee,
Stabler leaned back and looked at Mac with cold eyes. “What’s this about,
Taylor? You want to warn me off Stella? Don’t worry, I got the message!”
For a moment, Mac debated
with himself, before thinking of what Don had told him about Elliot Stabler and
after a second he made his decision. “Elliot, I’m not interested in Stella. I
know that what you saw looked as if we were more than friends, but I promise
you we’re not.”
Stabler remained silent and
Mac smiled lightly. “Stella is a good friend of mine, and I want to see her
happy. She’s just had one of the worst experiences that anyone can have and I
was there for her as a friend nothing more.”
Looking down, Stabler shook
his head. “You don’t have to explain anything, it’s not like I have...”
He trailed off when Mac put
a hand over his and Mac could see the surprise in Stabler’s eyes at the
gesture. “You have a right, Elliot, cause I know that
you care about her and I know that she cares about you.”
---
“You have a right, Elliot, cause I know that you care about her and I know that she
cares about you.”
Taylor’s words made Elliot
tense and he shivered. When had he become so transparent, but more important
why did Taylor bother with this. Elliot felt confused and out of his depth and
he reacted in the only way he knew, with anger. “What the fuck are you talking
about?”
Taylor smiled gently and
looked away for a moment, before he met Elliot’s eyes straight on. “I’m talking
about the fact that Stella needs all our help right now to survive and that I
count on you to support her and to be there for her.”
The sincerity behind the
words hit Elliot like a punch in the gut and suddenly he saw the fear and
exhaustion in Taylor’s eyes and he knew that the other man had not slept since
Nick had found out the truth about Stella’s boyfriend. But he also saw only concern
and friendship in the blue eyes and no deeper feelings; still he had to be
sure. “So you’re not in love with her.”
Only as he spoke the words,
did he realize how private the question was and immediately felt bad about
asking. “Sorry, it’s not my business.”
Taylor smiled almost
wistfully as he looked into his coffee. “No, it’s not your business, but I’ll
tell you anyway. I’m not in love with her. Stella is like a sister to me
nothing more and nothing less.”
Their eyes met and Elliot
could read the warning in Taylor’s eyes. He knew that in his way, Taylor had
just given him his approval, but at the same time he had implicitly warned him
against hurting Stella, and Elliot couldn’t help admiring the other man for the
way he had handled the conversation.
“I think, I’ll go and see
her then.”
He got up, while Taylor
remained where he was and as Elliot turned around to wave good-bye, he saw that
Taylor looked at his phone. For a moment, he frowned, and then suddenly a true
and bright smile crossed Taylor’s face. It was an expression that Elliot had
never seen on Taylor and it made him wonder, who had sent the message.
Taylor and the message
occupied his thoughts until he reached the floor where Stella’s room was, but
as soon as he stood outside the room and looked at the closed door, all
thoughts about Taylor vanished and he could feel himself tense.
Right behind that door was
the woman who had stolen his heart, the woman who had almost been killed by a
madman and the realization that he could have lost her so easily made him
swallow hard. Elliot knocked and when Stella answered, he suddenly noticed that
he was shaking and sternly told himself to get a hold on himself. He had an
image to preserve after all.
---
Nick was bent over some
trace evidence when Don walked into the room and sighed. Danny had called him
and told him to get Nick out of the lab before he collapsed, but seeing the
intensity that exuded from Nick, Don knew that he would have to find good
arguments to persuade Nick to go home.
“Hey there.” Nick looked up startled and Don sighed as he
noticed the dark circles under Nick’s eyes. Quickly looking around the lab, he
stepped closer to his partner and gently put a hand on his shoulder. “You look
exhausted.”
Nick jerked away from his grip
and Don sighed mentally at the frown that marred his partner’s face. “I have to
finish this analysis.”
Nick’s eyes challenged Don
to contradict him and bracing himself for a fight, Don shook his head. “Nick,
you have been up for almost 48 hours, you need to go home and sleep. We both
need to go home and sleep.”
Nick shrugged coldly. “I’m
not holding you back, am I?”
He had expected the answer,
but hadn’t expected it to hurt so much and for a moment, Don wanted to leave
and let Nick continue, but he saw how Nick’s hands trembled slightly as he
reached for the evidence and making a quick decision pulled Nick towards him.
“You need sleep, Nick, if you stay here, you’ll just gonna screw up.”
Don had not wanted to sound
so harsh, but Nick’s words had hurt him and some part of him wanted to hurt
Nick back. Nick twisted away from him and glared at him. “I can do my job, ok?
Don’t tell me what I can do and what I can’t.”
Shaking his head, Don
reached out once more to calm Nick down, but Nick simply moved away. Hurt made
Don’s throat tighten and he wanted to say something, when suddenly Mac’s voice
came from the door. “Nick, go home and sleep, ok?”
Nick looked between Mac and
Don and shook his head in anger. “What’s going on with you? Don’t you care
about Stella?”
It wasn’t so much the words
that made Don pale as the obvious contempt in Nick’s eyes as his lover looked
at him. It hurt that Nick would look at him like this and shaking his head
sadly, Don turned around. “I’ll see you.”
---
It was only when Don walked
away, that Nick realized what he had just done and mortified at his behavior,
he shot Mac an apologetic look and followed Don. “Don?”
His partner stopped, but
didn’t turn around and Nick knew that he had hurt Don. Quickly he walked up
next to Don and gently took Don’s hand. “Sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m
just frustrated and...”
He trailed off, when Don
simply put a finger on his lips. There was so much love in Don’s eyes, and yet
so much pain. Nick wanted to cry out as he saw how deeply he had hurt Don with
his careless words. Still Don smiled lightly and accepted his apology. “I know
Nick. It’s ok. Just let’s go home and sleep ok?”
There was still pain in
Don’s voice, but Nick was only too aware that they were still in the lab and so
he followed Don without saying anything. He wanted to slap himself for hurting
his partner, and watching Don silently as they drove home, he promised himself
that he would make sure that Don knew he loved him before they fell asleep
tonight.
---
Lindsay looked at the crime
scene model that she had generated on the computer. She had taken all the data
from Stella’s flat plus all the things she knew from the analysis that Nick had
run and had fed it into the program.
The outcome was a possible
way of how everything had gone down. She swallowed hard as the scene unfolded
in front of her and more than once she wanted to look away, wanted to avoid
seeing how Stella had suffered and how she had almost died at the hands of the
man she had loved.
“Bastard.” Her words were full of hate and she didn’t expect
any reaction to them. She was alone in the lab, it was late and so she jumped
when a voice behind her agreed. “Stupid bastard.”
The grumpy voice made her
smile despite the grave situation and she turned around. “Sid, what are you
still doing here?”
Sid was still wearing his
usual ME outfit and he held a sheet in his hands. “I thought I’d deliver this
personally to Mac, after all I rarely get to enjoy an autopsy as much as I did
this one.”
Lindsay had never really
heard that tone in Sid’s voice and it made her shiver. The ME was not someone
she wanted as an enemy, she decided.
“What did you find?” She
moved her chair so that Sid could sit down next to her and together they
watched the model again. Lindsay saw how Sid winced as the computer-generated
figure was slapped and he looked at her. “It’s different when it’s someone you
know, isn’t it?”
She nodded, but didn’t
comment until the model had run through. Sid looked at her and then back at the
computer. “How accurate is this?”
She smiled a bit and
shrugged. “As accurate as any recreation of events are, but it’s based on
evidence and those facts are facts. As soon as Stella remembers what happened,
we’ll compare her story to the model and can fill in the last few gaps.”
Sid nodded, and gently
patted her shoulder. “You know, when you joined us, I had my doubts. But,
you’re great girl.”
The unexpected compliment
made her swallow hard, it wasn’t that she felt unwelcome in the group, but she
knew that Danny, Don, Mac, Stella and Nick had a special bond and more than
once she had felt like an outsider. Sid’s words soothed an ache that she never
really acknowledged and she smiled at him, “Thanks.”
He grinned back and got up.
“And now, you go home and sleep. Cause you know I don’t want you on my table.”
Shaking her head with a
smile, Lindsay shut the computer down and grabbed her coat. Sid waited for her
at the door and together they walked towards the elevator. It was only then
that Sid looked at her again.
“I’m not a cop, but is she
going to get in trouble for shooting him?” Lindsay wondered if Sid was a mind
reader, because she had asked herself the same question. Shrugging, she looked
at him and shook her head.
“I don’t think so, but I can’t
say for sure.” His face was concerned and instinctively she reached out and
clasped his shoulder. “Don’t worry too much, Sid, everything will work out.
She wasn’t sure why she said
it, but what she had seen and what she knew of Stella made her certain even
though the evidence wasn’t there yet. “Stella will be fine. It was self
defense.”
----
Nick held Don close. He was dead tired, but he couldn’t sleep.
When they had come home,
they had gone straight to bed. The knowledge that he had hurt his lover still
weighed hard on Nick. He hadn’t thought when he had spoken, had been so deep in
his work that he had just not thought...
Damn you, he thought.
Don was sleeping, he knew,
because he had been watching his partner for the last hour. It seemed to Nick
that even in sleep, Don looked sad and whether it was true or just an
imagination of his guilty conscience, it pained Nick to see Don like this.
“I never wanted to hurt
you.” The whispered words sounded ridiculously loud in the silence of their
bedroom and Nick instinctively moved closer to Don. “I love you so much.”
It was the truth, the god’s
honest truth, Nick thought. He had never loved anyone the way he loved Don. It
wasn’t just passion and love; it was more than that. It was a deep sense of
belonging; it was...
Strong arms moved around him
and Nick let himself be pulled towards Don’s warm body. The closeness was
soothing like a balm and as he looked at his partner, he saw that Don’s eyes
were open. Carefully he reached out and caressed Don’s face. “I’m sorry.”
A smile ghosted over Don’s
face and he captured Nick’s hand, kissed the fingers gently and pulled Nick
even closer. “I know, you didn’t mean it. And yes, it hurt, but it’s ok.”
Nick swallowed and shook his
head. “No it’s not, I hurt you and I am sorry.”
For a moment, Don was silent
before he looked at Nick with a smile. “Well, you know what? You can invite me
for a nice dinner to make up for it.”
The words brought a smile to
Nick’s face and as he looked in Don’s eyes he saw that they were free of pain
and sadness and a knot unraveled in his chest. Pressing his face close to Don’s
chest, Nick inhaled deeply and kissed Don’s neck. “I love you.”
Don lifted Nick’s face and
kissed him lightly. “I love you too.”
Nick shifted a bit so that he
was still in Don’s arms, but didn’t crowd his partner too much and entwined as
they were he fell asleep.
---
Stella woke with a scream.
For a moment she was confused where she was, but before panic could set in, she
felt soft hands on her face and a soft voice told her that everything was ok.
It was the same voice that had comforted her before and with a sigh she relaxed
again.
“You’re safe.” She sighed
and shook her head before she opened her eyes and smiled at Elliot. “I know.”
He seemed surprised to see
her awake and for a second she expected him to leave. The thought sent a
tendril of fear through her and instinctively she reached out for him. “Stay,
please.”
Elliot looked surprised, but
he sat down and gently grasped her hand. “I don’t want to disturb you.”
Shaking her head, Stella
looked at him. “You don’t, you really don’t.”
Feeling tired again, she
closed her eyes but continued to speak. “I remember you, you were here before.
I felt safe.”
He pressed her hand and she
could hear him swallow hard before he spoke again. “You are safe, Stella, you
made it out.”
Something in his voice made
Stella tense, but before he should ask, memories assaulted her and she cried
out as images and feelings suddenly overwhelmed her. She saw herself fighting
against Frankie, heard his laughter and felt the pain as he slapped her. His
hands held her down and no matter how much she struggled against him; he was
stronger than she was. She’d screamed and pleaded with him but in his eyes
she’d seen her own death.
“Stella, look at me. Listen
to me, it’s ok, it’s over.” Elliot’s voice penetrated
the images and slowly she realized that it was him who tried to calm her and
restrain her. She stopped moving and looked at him. He was pale, but despite
the concern she saw in his eyes, his voice was firm. “You’re safe. It’s ok, you
fought and you won.”
The truth of his words made
her calm down and she swallowed hard. “Yes, I did.”
Slowly he released her hands
and looked at her critically. “You remembered, didn’t you?”
The images were still close
and with a shiver Stella pushed them aside, but at his question she nodded.
“Yes, I remember. I killed him.”
---
*New York*
Stella
took a deep breath. It was a clear, crisp winter day and the air was fresh and
cold. After the week she had spent in the hospital, the fresh air felt like
heaven and for a moment, she just stood in the middle of the deserted path.
Central Park seemed empty and for the first time since she had remembered what
had happened to her, Stella felt calm. Here in the middle of the city she loved
and protected, here in the calm center of New York, she found her own center
and it made her feel good for the first time in over a week. Then her thoughts
turned to the hearing to be held that afternoon and a shiver ran through her.
“I’m
afraid.” Her words seemed to evaporate in the cold air. She watched as two
squirrels raced over the snow-covered plain and wished she could just run away
from the questions and inquiries.
“You
don’t have to be afraid.” The gently voice next to her drew her from her
thoughts and she looked at the man next to her. Ducky’s eyes were honest and
open as he smiled. “You did what you had to do and everyone knows that.”
The
steadfast conviction in his voice made her swallow hard and she shivered. He
gently put a hand on her shoulder. “Your team has all that they need to clear
you. There is nothing you could have done, Stella.”
It
was the truth and yet, she had killed a man. The thought made her tense. “I
killed him.”
Ducky
nodded slowly. “Yes, you did.”
The
simply words made her swallow, but before she could say anything, he continued
gently. “And if you hadn’t killed him, he would have killed you. You fought and
you survived. He didn’t. It’s not your fault that he died. Don’t let anyone
tell you that it is.”
Again
he spoke with such a conviction, that Stella couldn’t help but believe him and
impulsively, she turned around and hugged him tight. “Thanks Ducky.”
He
looked a bit surprised, but the fond smile never wavered. “What are you
thanking me for, Stella?”
His
voice was gentle, his English so correct that it made her feel like smiling
again and as they slowly continued to walk along the windy path, she looked him
once more.
“For
coming up from Washington, for being here for me, for never asking anything
from me, for everything, I guess.” Ducky smiled at her words and didn’t respond
for a long time. Stella had gotten used to the moments of silence as much as
she had gotten used to the long-winded explanations and tales in the past few
days. Ducky always seemed to know when she needed silence and when she needed
to talk.
He
had appeared at Lindsay’s door four days ago. Stella had opened the door and he
had simply looked at her and shaken his head. “My dear, you look like you need
some real English tea.”
She
had not known what to say, and without any fuss he had made some tea and then had
sat down with her and simply looked at her. “Did you know that the first person
to bring tea to England was...”
Looking
back, Stella realized that Ducky had never ever requested anything from her, he
had simply been there in a way that none of her friends could have been. She
told him so and Ducky nodded slowly. “They are too close, they are too
involved. I’m older and as much as I like you, I’m not as close as Nick or Mac
is.”
He
was right, but it was something else too. “You know, you’re everything I always
wished in a father.”
Ducky
stopped as if she had hit him and for a moment Stella wondered whether she had
made a mistake, but when her eyes met his, she saw nothing but joy in his eyes.
He smiled and gently patted her cheek. “I would be honored to be your honorary
father, Stella.”
Swallowing
the tears down, Stella hugged Ducky once more. She was healing, she thought, as
they continued the walk through the park. She had endured a horrible ordeal,
but she was healing. She had friends that supported her and counted on her and
now it seemed as if she had found a family too.
---
Mac
walked out of the hearing smiling and the rest of his team immediately
surrounded him. He could see the concern in their faces, and with one word he
dispelled any tension. “Cleared.”
There
was an almost collective gasp of relief. Walking back to his office Mac briefed
the team about Stella’s hearing. “She testified about what happened, and
honestly, they didn’t press her too hard. It was good that I could lay out the
evidence first, this way they had no reason to question her testimony.”
Once
they had all reached Mac’s office, he sighed and shook his head. “Stella will
be out for another three days, but she wants to come back on Monday. So, just
don’t make a fuss about her, just treat her as always.”
He
wasn’t sure yet whether he would be able to do so, whether he would ever be able to forget how she had been lying on the floor with
blood pooling around her head, but just like the others he would have to make
the effort for Stella.
“We’ll
be as normal as possible.” Sheldon’s words were calm, but Mac saw that there
was a smile on Sheldon’s face and with a sigh, he grinned back. “I’m just
saying don’t coddle her, ok?”
Now
they all laughed. “Mac, you’re the mother hen, not us.”
Glaring
at his team, Mac disappeared into the office and sank down into his chair. It
hadn’t been easy, he thought wearily, hadn’t been easy to talk about the
terrible findings in Stella’s flat in a detached manner. He had wanted to
scream at the hearing committee to just look at the evidence and look at
Stella, but he had managed to remain cool and calm.
Now
though he felt the effect of it and shivered heavily. In the last couple of
months, he had almost lost Danny, had lived through Gibbs’ horror of having
Tony accused of murder and now he had almost lost Stella. He was tired, he
thought, and another shiver ran through his body. Tired and burned out. All he
wanted was to crawl into bed with Danny and sleep, but looking at the stack of
papers on his desk, Mac knew that it would be late before he could even think
of going home tonight.
“Mac?” He hadn’t heard
Danny enter and startled, he looked at the younger man who stood right next to him.
Danny’s eyes were concerned as he looked at Mac and Mac immediately felt love
rush through him. Throughout the ordeal with Stella, Danny had been there right
next to him. His lover had never pushed him away and had endured Mac’s moods
and grumpiness. Slowly Mac got up and closed the blinds on the glass walls of
his office.
Turning
towards Danny, he pulled his partner into his arms and held him close. “I love
you.”
Surprise
and love shone in Danny’s eyes as he leaned against Mac and Mac sighed blissfully.
“You’re always there for me, aren’t you?”
It
was something that the past few days and weeks had shown him; Danny was his
partner in everything, stood by him and supported him while at the same time
accepting Mac’s help if he needed it. Danny smiled at Mac’s words and gently
caressed Mac’s face.
“Of
course, I am, Mac. I love you.”
Sighing
again, Mac looked at the stack of papers on his desk, before he turned away
from Danny and put the papers in his drawer. He didn’t want to work tonight,
and as his eyes met Danny’s he almost smiled at the approval he saw in his
partner’s eyes.
“I
need you tonight.” Something in the way Danny said it, made Mac tense and look
closer at his lover. Danny was tired too, Mac suddenly realized, tired and
exhausted and he was right. They needed each other tonight.
“You’ll
have me.” It was a promise.
---
Nick
and Don were snuggled on the couch. Stella watched them with a fond smile and
felt herself relax at the peaceful image they
presented.
She
hadn’t wanted to stay with the couple, had insisted that she could very well
live in a hotel room or stay at Lindsay’s until she had found a new apartment,
but Nick had been insistent.
“Let us spoil you for once,
Stella, we almost lost you.” Nick’s words had persuaded
her in the end. Before she had felt selfish to impose herself on Don and Nick,
but after Nick’s plea, she had understood that Nick wanted her to stay for his
own peace of mind too.
“You
look good together.” Nick smiled lazily at her comment while Don simply pulled Nick
closer to him and grinned. “Feels good too.”
She
didn’t doubt it, but unlike with other couples seeing Don and Nick together
didn’t make her feel envious. Maybe it was because she knew what they had gone
through together, or maybe she simply wanted them to be happy.
“I
have an appointment tomorrow to look at another apartment.” This time Nick
frowned at her. “You don’t have to hurry, you can stay
here as long as you want.”
He
meant it, Stella knew that, but she wanted her own space again and with a smile
she shook her head. “I know, but I want to host my famous Christmas party at my
own place and that means that I need a flat fast.”
For
moment Nick simply looked at her, then he smiled. “Can’t wait for your party.”
Neither could she Stella realized, and with a deep sigh
she took her wine glass and leaned back in her comfortable chair. A new year,
she thought, soon there would be a new year and what better time was there to
start a new life?
---
She
had almost died. The knowledge that he could have lost Stella to a madman was
something that hit Elliot from time to time out of the blue and in those
moments, he felt like throwing up.
He
hadn’t seen her since the day her memory had come back in the hospital. He
hadn’t dared.
She
wasn’t ready for his emotions and if Elliot was honest, then neither was he.
Elliot was aware that he had only just begun to adjust to single life and he
hadn’t expected to fall in love again so fast. The fact that he had fallen both
scared and relieved him. Still, he decided, he would be a friend to Stella no
matter what, and should more come out of it he would be ready.
---
The
End