None of these characters are mine, they belong to various producers and companies. No money is made...

 

Looking in a Mirror

 

By Valerie

 

Chapter 1 - Introductions

 

*New York*

 

Mac had gotten used to watch Danny sleeping peacefully in his arms. Being with him, loving him, had not completely cured Mac from his insomnia, but he knew that the fact that he slept through at least twice a week for six hours was entirely due to his lover.

 

And for those nights when he couldn’t sleep, when nightmares and memories prevented him from finding any rest, well now that he had Danny he knew that he had at least someone to hold, someone to watch over at night.

 

It didn’t make those dark nights easier, but it gave them a purpose.

 

Danny gave him a purpose.

 

Falling in love with Danny had been so easy, admitting it to himself on the other hand incredibly hard; as to admitting it to Danny, Mac shuddered as he thought back to that day when Danny had stormed into his office. His eyes had been blazing with fury and protectiveness. It had been the first time Danny had lost his composure so completely when faced with Mac’s disapproving eyes.

 

Mac shivered once more as the confrontation played out in front of his memory. He saw himself sit in the office, saw Danny stand in front of his desk and heard once again the harsh words Danny had used when he had found out that Nick had had a panic attack at the underground scene.

 

“No, you didn’t think, cause all you thought of was that Nick and I were getting along well and you couldn’t have it that I might be looking forward to working, that I might actually enjoy my job again. That’s why you split us up, that’s why you didn’t stop to think about Nick, but you know what Mac, it backfired cause I did actually enjoy working with Stella, not as much as I enjoy working with Nick, but still...”

 

Danny’s words had been so painfully accurate, because he had indeed split the two up on purpose, had indeed forgotten about Nick’s ordeal because he had been blinded by something else. It had been just one thing Danny had gotten wrong. It hadn’t been his dislike of Danny that had made him do it; it had been his love and his jealousy. He remembered how he had tried to defend himself, how he had tried to put Danny in his place.

 

“Danny, you’re forgetting yourself here. This is not about you.”

 

Danny had just smiled at him, but his eyes had been filled with such a cold, that Mac still shivered only thinking about it.

 

“You’re wrong Mac, it was about me. You didn’t want me to work with Nick and didn’t stop to think one moment about the repercussion your actions might have. And you know what? The sad thing is that it wasn’t me who suffered, cause I could have dealt with that. No, you made Nick suffer, Nick who’s been through so much and who’s not done anything to you but work hard and well.”

 

The words had been harsh and had hurt him, how Danny was so ready to attack him in order to defend Nick. But just as he had thought that nothing could be worse than watching Danny like this, Danny had deflated and with a voice, that was full of hurt and sadness he had whispered.

 

“You don’t trust me; you don’t like me, but for some reason you won’t fire me. Is it because you don’t want them to tell you they knew all along? You know what? You won... I’ll leave, cause I won’t risk my friends getting hurt because of you wanting to make a point of pushing me around.”

 

Danny had left after this and even now, lying in his bed, holding Danny close, Mac tensed at the thought of how close he had come to losing someone he loved so much. He would have lost him, he mused silently, had it not been for Stella’s picking and prodding...

 

“You’re thinking loud enough to wake me up”

 

Danny’s voice was sleep heavy and his eyes still half closed and Mac felt a surge of love in him.

 

“I was just remembering how close to losing you I was, and how glad I am that I went to you that night.”

 

Danny smiled lightly and turned around completely, his arms holding Mac close seeking warmth and yet at the same time giving comfort. Mac reveled in the strength that was his lover and leaned down to kiss him gently.

 

“Sleep on, love, I didn’t want to wake you.”

 

But Danny just looked at him.

 

“Couldn’t sleep?”

 

Mac smiled and shook his head, already knowing what would come now. Danny was the only one of his partners who had ever managed to completely relax him and just as he had thought now, his lover moved slightly and picked the scented massage oil from the sideboard.

 

“Just relax”

 

---

 

Gently Danny moved Mac in a comfortable position and kneeled on the bed as he began to massage the tense shoulders. For a moment he felt Mac jerk at the slight pain his hands caused, but within an instant his lover relaxed again letting him work silently.

 

When he had done this the first time, Mac had been tense for a long time and it had almost been a fight between his hands and Mac’s control. Danny still remembered the moment when Mac had given in, had relinquished control and had showed Danny his complete trust. Since then he had woken up a couple of times to Mac lying awake, looking at him, and watching over him. It was Mac’s nature, but since they had gotten together Danny had taught Mac that there were moments, when he could let go too. He smiled as his hands gently kneaded the strong muscles when Mac moaned slightly at the light pain the touch evoked. Danny heard it and leaned in to kiss the spot he had touched soothing away even the last bit of pain and Mac purred deeply.

 

"You sound like a big cat, purring like that."

 

Mac didn't answer just stretched his body more and surrendered completely to Danny’s touch and care. Danny loved these silent moments between him and his lover. For him the silence always seemed to capture their love much better than the sounds and moans of their passion. The fact that those encounters always happened in the middle of the night heightened the surreal, unreal feeling that always accompanied them. Mac sighed again and relaxed even more. Danny sighed too, and then suddenly froze as he saw them in the mirror on the wall. Their silhouettes were standing out in the dark, Danny’s darker skin almost merging with the night making him look like a ghost while Mac’s skin seemed to glow with the oil that was massaged into it. They both looked incredibly beautiful.

 

"Look at us."

 

He saw Mac look up, saw his eyes widen at the sight in the mirror and felt the shudder that went through his body.

 

"We are beautiful"

 

Mac’s whisper was full of awe. Keeping their eyes still locked Danny continued to caress Mac’s body and for a long time they just watched each other until Danny suddenly spoke again.

 

"Yes, we are."

 

Mac turned around, his eyes meeting Danny’s. Danny shivered as Mac kissed him tenderly and with a glance in the mirror repeated his words.

 

"Yes, we are"

 

Mac released him and his eyes were clouded as he looked at Danny. Danny smiled at the love in them, and gently pushed his lover back onto the bed.

 

“Sleep now love”

 

Mac grumbled lightly, but complied with his wish and soon enough Danny felt the regular and deep breaths of his lover against his own body.

 

They had come far together and something Nick had once told him flittered through his mind.

 

There are some things that are worth fighting for.

 

Yes, they had fought... first against then for each other. But in the end they both had won. Snuggling against his lover Danny sighed as he felt Mac’s arms go around him in sleep.

 

Mac was always protecting him, he was always there.

 

Danny sighed happily and snuggled closer to Mac feeling safe and warm in the loving arms.

 

---

 

*Washington DC*

 

Tony groaned as the alarm went off. His head hurt and he felt as if his bed were moving. He remained motionless until the fog around his mind had cleared enough and more carefully this time he stood up again. He felt sick and his body ached all over. Slowly he made his way over to the bathroom and immediately wrapped a warmed towel around his body, before he turned the shower on and waited for the water to heat up.

 

“You look like shit.”

 

His mirror image gave no comment and Tony removed the towel to carefully look at his body. He looked as if he had gone a couple of rounds against Mike Tyson and lost.

 

If only it had been Tyson.

 

Tony banned all thoughts about their previous case and stepped into the shower. The hot water hit him at first like another blow, increasing the aches and pains in his body before his body reacted and the warmth started to relax the tense muscles. Tony sighed tiredly.

 

Yesterday, when it had all been over, he hadn’t had the strength to do anything but undress and fall into his bed. The painkillers Ducky had given him had kept him from hurting too badly, but unfortunately had not prevented him from thinking.

 

He hadn’t slept much. Every time he had closed his eyes, he had seen the bat come down once more, had felt the impact on his body or even worse, he had heard Ziva’s comment about his injuries being nothing but a scratch and he had seen Gibbs’ grin at her comment.

 

Stop playing it up DiNozzo

 

The cruel words had almost made him come undone then, but he had bit back both the pain and the anger they had woken in him and instead concentrated on finishing the report. It had taken more time then it should have and he had been surprised to suddenly find Ducky standing next to him. The ME had just looked at him.

 

Do I need to look at your injuries?

 

It had been on the tip of his tongue to dismiss Ducky with the same words as Gibbs had used, but his body had betrayed him before he could even say anything. Ducky had narrowed his eyes and without a word walked ahead towards the morgue.

 

He had looked him over and then sent him home with the painkillers. Tony had taken one yesterday night and normally would have thrown them away, but coming out of the shower, he glanced at the pills warily and decided that it wasn’t worth being in constant pain all day just to prove Gibbs that he was strong. Glancing at the mirror, he carelessly brushed his hair and got ready within minutes.

 

When he walked into the bullpen, he was the first one as usual and with a small moan he sat down at his desk and powered his computer up.

 

Gibbs arrived thirty minutes later and as Tony handed him his report, he barely acknowledged him. Tony sighed and thought of the painkillers in his jacket pocket. He hadn’t taken another one so far and if they had a calm day, he might not need another one. The pain in his body was bearable and against the pain in his heart they didn’t help.

 

---

 

Gibbs was tired. He had not slept much and had spent one more night working on his boat. In the end he had fallen asleep on the old couch in the basement only to wake up with a scream still echoing through the room. He didn’t remember what he had dreamt, had given up on that long ago, but he didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know what had woken him up in the middle of the night.

 

It had been too close yesterday. And if he was honest, then it had been too close for too many times in the last couple of months. How many times had he almost lost Tony?

 

Gibbs shivered, but repressed the movement immediately. He watched Tony move and once more a pained looked crossed Tony’s face and suddenly concerned Gibbs wondered what made Tony look like this.

 

They had found them on time, hadn’t they?

 

Ziva had confirmed that McGee and him had arrived before their captors had been able to start their ‘questioning’. Dread ran up Gibbs’ spine as he remembered his harsh reprimand of Tony yesterday, his comment to stop playing it up. What if something had happened earlier?

 

Those weren’t easy thoughts and when the phone rang it felt like a rescue.

 

“Ducky, what can I do for you?”

 

Minutes later he was in the morgue and met an irate Ducky.

 

“How come young Anthony was working until midnight yesterday, when he should have been at home resting? And how come you didn’t tell him to at least come and see me?”

 

Gibbs looked at Ducky confused, but Ducky didn’t cut him any slack instead shook his head.

 

“Do you know that bruises of such a heavy extend only come from serious blows? Blows that can cause internal damage, internal bleeding? I really am disappointed in you Jethro. You have to take better care of young Anthony.”

 

Gibbs felt as if he had received a blow himself. Ducky’s words flittered through his mind again and again and he reeled from their impact.

 

‘Blows like this can cause internal damage, internal bleeding...’

 

He didn’t turn back to Ducky, instead stormed out of the morgue and back into the bullpen.

 

“DiNozzo”

 

As Tony looked up, he just pointed towards the elevator. He saw how Tony looked confused, then resigned and his heart hurt at the momentary pain that crossed the handsome face. It was hard to remain silent until the elevator started moving and then stopped when he pressed the button.

 

“Take your shirt off”

 

Tony looked taken aback, but immediately his stance tensed.

 

“I’m fine, boss. I’m just playing it up, remember?”

 

It hurt having his words thrown back at him like this, but Gibbs didn’t give in instead just repeated his words once more.

 

“We can stay here until the end of the world, if that’s what it takes.”

 

Tony shook his head in annoyance.

 

“Didn’t know that you wanted me out of my clothes this much.”

 

It was said with a leer, but nevertheless Gibbs felt heat pool in his groin at the comment. Losing the staring contest, Tony finally started to unbutton his shirt and as his chest was revealed, Gibbs forgot everything about passion. Tony’s upper body was covered in bruises, deep purple bruises. They were too regular for fists, too straight for hands. Gibbs’ hands ached to reach out and caress the abused body, but he held himself back. The distance hurt and the pain transformed into anger.

 

“Ziva lied.”

 

There was a hard smile in Tony’s face as he closed the shirt once more.

 

“No, she said that they hadn’t started interrogating us when you arrived. They hadn’t.”

 

Tony’s cold demeanor made Gibbs tense, still he gestured at the bruises that now were once more hidden.

 

“So what was that?”

 

Tony shrugged casually.

 

“Just for fun, I guess.”

 

Gibbs wanted to go over to the cells where their suspects were held and rip them apart for hurting Tony, he wanted to scream at Ziva for not lying but neither telling the truth and he wanted to tell Tony off for not saying anything. But he kept silent, because the one thing that kept running through his head was his reaction to Tony yesterday.

 

Stop playing it up, DiNozzo

 

Yes, the men had beaten Tony, Ziva had lied, but what he had done was worse. He had probably caused the most damage and looking at Tony he saw wariness and defeat in the hazel eyes and sudden understanding made him reel.

 

He had come close to losing Tony a lot of times in the past couple of months, but never closer than right now.

 

---

 

McGee had watched Tony and Gibbs disappear into the elevator and was fixing Ziva with a hard glare.

 

“What did you not tell us?”

 

She looked at him coldly and answered blandly.

 

“Nothing important”

 

He didn’t believe her, but deciding to bid his time he kept silent. Patience was a virtue and McGee had plenty of that.

 

The ringing of a phone made him turn around, but before he could pick up, Gibbs had already snatched it. He spoke few words and in the tense stance of his muscles, McGee could see that something had happened between him and Tony. Covertly he glanced at Tony only to see him groan a bit as he sat down.

 

It raised his concern, but before he could ask, Gibbs barked out his orders.

 

“DiNozzo, Ziva, McGee. Get ready, we’ve got a case.”

 

“Where we’re going?”

 

Gibbs didn’t spare a glance at Ziva but at least he answered her question.

 

“New York”

 

---

 

Chapter 2 – First Impressions

 

*New York*

 

There were three people waiting when they got to the crime scene and almost without realizing what he was doing, Tony put himself between Gibbs and the potential threat. The move put him ahead of his boss but he retreated smoothly as soon as he saw that all three wore NYPD badges. With one look, he categorized them with the ease of someone who worked with people and made his living figuring them out.

 

Two CSIs and one cop.

 

The tall dark haired man with the startling blue eyes was a cop; his entire personality just screamed it. On the other hand, it was just as obvious that he was comfortable around the nerds. He stood almost protectively next to the male CSI which in it self was interesting, because normally one would assume that the woman in the trio would need protection.

 

Although, Tony mused with a glance at Ziva, looks could deceive.

 

And that was something that fit the second man too. Smaller, more slender than the cop he too had dark hair, but instead of blue eyes his were as dark as chocolate. He had the typical jock looks, strong jaw, clear cut face, the typical all American boy look. Looks but no brain. Tony had heard that stereotype many times, and yet he knew that one did not become a CSI without the necessary degrees. This guy was certainly someone to watch out for.

 

The third of their group was the woman, tall slender she had long wonderful hair and the coloring and complexion that revealed some European ancestors. She was beautiful, but there was an air of ‘don’t touch’ around her. Looking at her made Tony’s heart ache.

 

She was like Kate.

 

“I am Special Agent Gibbs from NCIS; this is my team consisting of Special Agent DiNozzo, Special Agent McGee and Officer David. Thanks for waiting for us, but we’ll take it from here.”

 

It was always interesting to see people reacting to Gibbs’ brusque personality. Most of the time the local law enforcement teams reacted pissed off, which then usually ended in a contest of attitude which Gibbs of course always won. This time though, the reaction was different and although the cop bristled at the dismissal, Tony was much more interested in the reaction of the smaller slender dark haired man. The CSI snorted and walked closer to lift the crime scene markings. As Gibbs walked past him, he shook his head and Tony saw real amusement in his eyes for a second before they turned hard.

 

“We’ll work this case together Agent Gibbs.”

 

The woman and the cop had subtly moved so that they obscured the door and the entrance and the male CSI walked past Gibbs to stand in front of the two others.

 

“I’m Nick Stokes, this is CSI Stella Bonasera and next to her is Detective Don Flack from NYPD. As for you taking the case over, as I said, we’ll work together. There are two dead bodies here, and while Private Steller is a member of the US Navy, Maureen Durban and Michelle Owen have lived in this city. They wer killed here, they were citizens of New York and the NYPD owes it to them to find out who did this.”

 

As passionately Stokes might argue his case for New York, his accent belied any claims he could have in the city being his. Nevertheless Tony was genuinely surprised how Stokes easily met Gibbs’ glare. For a moment the two men just looked at each other, then Stokes’ phone rang and he broke the staring contest with a smile. Looking at the caller ID he frowned for a moment before he picked it up.

 

“Which street are you on?”

 

Tony saw the light laughter in Stokes’ eyes as he answered the person on the other end easily.

 

“Don’t worry; we’re just about to get cozy.”

 

Getting bored Tony felt it was time to move things ahead so he looked at Stella and smiled friendly.

 

“Look it doesn’t seem as if Detective Taylor is arriving any time soon, so why don’t you just move away and we’ll send you our report?”

 

He felt Gibbs’ eyes on him as he made the flippant comment, but before Gibbs could say anything another voice from the door commented coldly.

 

“There won’t be a report sent to anyone. Any analysis will be made in our lab and any interviews in this case will be held in our precincts. I guess that is clear enough, isn’t it?”

 

The man walking inside the flat could have been Gibbs’ brother. Not from their looks but their attitude, the short cut hair which was just shy of a buzz cut. Both men wore perfect sitting suit and Tony grinned at the same brisk curt attitude. Hell, even the blue eyes were just as intense and clear. Worse even the man had the same presence that Gibbs had, the same air of command around him and as he walked up introducing himself as Detective Taylor, Tony suddenly understood why Gibbs’ attitude had not thrown, but amused these people.

 

They had recognized their boss in Gibbs.

 

Behind Taylor a second, younger, man walked inside. He was definitely different with blond spiky wild hair, wearing suit but no tie, glasses and startling green grey eyes. The newcomer looked like a typical CSI if it hadn’t been for that edge of danger that seemed to be around him. Tony couldn’t define it, but there was just an air of recklessness that surrounded him. Looking at the five NYPD personnel, Tony let his eyes wander from Stokes, to Flack, to Bonasera, then to Taylor and finally to...

 

“This is CSI Messer; I assume you have met the rest of my team.”

 

Messer wasn’t that a fitting name. Tony was just about to hum the tune of Mackie Messer, when Gibbs once more introduced his team and added scathingly.

 

“It wasn’t necessary of you to come out here. I already told your team, we’ll take it from here.”

 

Tony saw how Messer turned around at the harsh words and for a second looked at Gibbs before he looked back at Taylor and then at Stokes.

 

“Aren’t clones supposed to look alike?”

 

There was a quiet horror and awe in the voice and yet also a lot of good humor and gently teasing that Tony couldn’t help but laughing. Stokes met his eyes and he saw that there was genuine amusement again, before he smiled at Messer and stepped in before either Gibbs or Taylor could say anything.

 

“Look, can’t you two go to your office Mac and determine the where and when and who and all the political bs? Cause honestly, I don’t mind having some more hands in there, if we only have to go in there once, that’s enough for me.”

 

Mac, or Taylor looked at Stokes and a quick fond smile crossed his face, before he turned back to Flack.

 

“Have you already spoken with the neighbors?”

 

Flack shook his head and smirked wryly.

 

“Was about to start when Nick found the Navy license and everything was put on hold.”

 

Taylor nodded and looked at Gibbs.

 

“Can one of your team help Detective Flack with the questioning? Danny, I want you and Nick to work the scene here with Agent DiNozzo. Stella, I need you on another case, we have another DB out in Queens.”

 

Tony couldn’t help admiring Taylor who had in fact just taken over the command over the case. Looking over at Gibbs he wondered how his boss would react. He found Gibbs looking at Taylor for a long time, before he finally spoke.

 

“How long since you left the Marines?”

 

Surprised not only at the question but at the way Gibbs had phrased it, Tony saw the quick tightening of Taylor’s lips before he answered curtly.

 

“I never did.”

 

The smile that now graced Gibbs’ face made his heart clench and silently he wished that his boss would look at him like this only once. Keeping his face carefully schooled, he hoped that Gibbs saw nothing in his face when he turned towards him.

 

“You work with CSI Stokes and Messer, DiNozzo, Ziva I want you to go from door to door with Detective Flack and remember he’s doing the questioning. McGee you come back to the lab, I want you to set up a line with Abby and do some digging into the victim’s background.”

 

For a moment, Tony was sure that he had misheard. Then slowly the realization trickled in, Gibbs had accepted Taylor as the lead in this case and somehow Tony was sure that the only reason was that Taylor was a Marine too.

 

‘Semper fi’ really...

 

---

 

Mac felt Gibbs’ eyes on him as they left the building and walked to his car.

 

“You realize that if your people fail to bring results, I’ll take over and have everything shipped to Washington?”

 

Instead of answering, Mac got behind the wheel and pulled into one of the always busy NY streets. Once they were driving towards their lab, Mac turned the radio off and the next time they stopped at a red light, he fixed Gibbs with a clear look.

 

“They will bring results and I want to make two things very clear.

 

First: Three people are dead, and I don’t care if one of them was Navy or not, they were all killed in New York and that makes this a New York case.

 

Second: My people, my problems ok? You have any issues with anyone of my team, you come to me. If I see or hear or just feel that you’re disturbing the balance in my team or my team feels bothered by you, I’ll cease any cooperation with you.

 

Did I make myself clear?”

 

Gibbs eyes were clear as he looked at him, then a quick smile crossed over his face and he nodded. Mac knew men like Gibbs, hell he had been like him, still probably was in many aspects, but other than Gibbs he had lost some of that tight intensity.

 

It had been tempered or maybe that was wrong, maybe it had just been redirected.

 

After all Danny was much more fun to focus that intensity on than a crime scene.

 

“Why did you leave the active service?”

 

Gibbs’ question made him clutch the wheel tightly for a moment, the memory of Claire still hurt him sometimes and to be reminded out of the blue was never easy.

 

“My wife didn’t want me to be away all the time.”

 

He felt more than saw Gibbs glance at his hand on the wheel and saw the slightly bitter smile that crossed his face.

 

“Didn’t help, did it?”

 

Understanding what Gibbs implied, Mac clamped down on the anger knowing that Gibbs didn’t know. Still though he tensed and his voice was harder than before as he answered.

 

“It did until 9/11.”

 

---

 

Gibbs rarely felt guilty for being a bastard, now was one of those rare moments. Detective Taylor’s voice was hard and clipped and if the way he clung to the steering wheel was any indication, then it was only his discipline that kept him from decking Gibbs.

 

He hadn’t meant it as an insult, instead had thought that the common experience of the divorce they shared would make their encounter a bit easier and less formal. He had certainly not expected this to happen.

 

“I am sorry.”

 

Gibbs rarely apologized, but this time he felt he needed to. Taylor though just looked at him curiously.

 

“Why? Did you fly one of those planes?”

 

And somehow that calm question made Gibbs feel even more like a complete bastard.

 

---

 

Danny watched Tony DiNozzo closely and soon came to the conclusion that he was alright. He might have played up in front of his boss, but as soon as the grey haired man had left, DiNozzo was calmer and more focused.

 

“Ok, let’s go ask some neighbors.”

 

Don grinned at Officer Davids and walked through the door. She didn’t follow until Agent DiNozzo finally looked at her.

 

“Ziva, what’s your problem?”

 

She sent him a cold look and without caring whether the others present heard her, she hissed at him.

 

“You might like playing tag along to another team, but I don’t...”

 

Exchanging a look with Nick, Danny wanted to say something, but Nick’s eyes warned him to stir things up even more. He was still grinning when Don came back into the room. Looking at Ziva Don just raised one eyebrow.

 

“Are you coming or not? Cause I’ve got three dead bodies in that room and maybe some of the neighbors have heard something important.”

 

He saw how Nick looked pleased and admiringly at his lover, and immediately schooled his face back into the perfect mask. Davids glared at them in general and followed Don outside. Nick took a deep breath and Danny knew that his friend would take the lead in their mini team. Nick was good in this and he was glad for it, knowing that without wanting to he would probably antagonize DiNozzo.

 

“Ok, let’s have a look at the bodies. Agent DiNozzo can you take pictures of everything and all that?”

 

The NCIS agent looked at Nick for a long time and Danny could see how he was assessing Nick, could feel himself already starting to prepare a defense, when DiNozzo smiled and extended his hand.

 

“Tony”

 

Nick smiled and shook the offered hand with a friendly nod.

 

“I’m Nick and that’s Danny... now let’s go to work shall we?”

 

Danny grinned as Tony nodded at him and followed Nick into the bed room. The slight gasp made him turn around and he saw how Tony paled at the blood and slaughter inside.

 

“Oh fuck”

 

Danny felt for him and sighed.

 

“Told you, that it isn’t a nice sight. You ok though?”

 

Tony took a deep breath through his mouth and looked at Danny. All happiness and cheekiness had disappeared from his eyes and been replaced with a serious look.

 

“Yeah, just sometimes hate this part of the job.”

 

Danny sighed, walked over and started to swab and to dust the back of the room. Nick though just nodded and smiled once more at Tony before he too started to search the room.

 

---

 

Don sighed as he knocked at the last neighbor’s door. Davids next to him was silent, but he could feel contempt almost rolling off her in waves. For some reason she disliked him and he wondered if it had something to do with him taking the lead in the interrogation, something her boss had asked him to do or if it was more. Maybe she just felt it was beneath her to be listening to a mere cop. Shrugging he knocked once more, before calling out his identification, but as nothing moved behind the door, he shrugged again and turned away.

 

“Wait, are you just going to walk away?”

 

Her voice was sharp, and he grinned lightly before he schooled his features and answered her all the while walking back towards the crime scene.

 

“It’s two in the afternoon, she’ll be at work. We’ll come back later tonight.”

 

She ignored him instead looked at her colleague with clear distrust in her eyes as Agent DiNozzo, Nick and Danny walked out of the room.

 

“Got your things?”

 

Don locked his eyes with his lover for a moment, saw how Nick smiled for a moment, then turned serious again.

 

“Yeah, Jane won’t be happy about the amount of DNA analysis we bring her, but...”

 

Nick shrugged, but trailed off when DiNozzo suddenly turned towards him.

 

“Why don’t you have it sent up to our lab? Abby can help you with it...”

 

Don watched as Nick was seriously considering the offer, and then shrugged.

 

“I’ll run it by Mac. He’s a bit possessive if it comes to evidence.”

 

DiNozzo just grinned and shrugged.

 

“Aren’t we all?”

 

Clear hazel eyes fell on him then and DiNozzo suddenly smiled a bit brighter.

 

“Sorry mate forgot that I hadn’t introduced myself yet. I’m Tony.”

 

Shaking the hand, Don appreciated the firm grip and smiled.

 

“Don”

 

“If you are done making friends and wasting time, can we move on and report to Gibbs?”

 

The sniping sound of Agent Davids voice made him look confused at her, but her glare wasn’t directed at him or Nick. Instead she looked at Tony with a cold anger that made him tense. Don had felt the tension and the rifts that went through the NCIS team right from the start. It had made him cringe at the uniformed front they presented and now as he exchanged a look with Nick he realized that his lover had felt it too. He wondered though if Nick had any idea that only a couple of months back, their own team had been similar. Don glanced at Danny and he saw how his friend was looking at DiNozzo and Davids, and then looked down with a frown. Don smiled lightly. Danny had understood and seen it too; looking at the NCIS team was seeing their own team before Nick had arrived.

 

It was eerily like looking into a mirror.

 

---

 

*Chapter 3: Cooperation

 

Jethro was surprised how easy it was to work with Mac Taylor or at least how easy it was once he had acknowledged that Taylor and his team had just as much jurisdiction as NCIS had. Normally he hated cases like this, joined operations tended to get messy and annoying, this time however he worked with someone who had his mindset. The fact that Taylor didn’t hold his blundering in the car against him, well Jethro was honest enough to admit that he would not have been able to do this.

 

“Once the others are back, we’ll start processing the evidence. Has your techie set up the connection to your lab?”

 

He looked down and saw McGee typing away furiously on the keyboard. He looked concentrated at the screen and Jethro could see that he was still working on contacting Abby.

 

“Working on it”

 

Taylor nodded and Jethro could see how he was thinking quickly, then apparently coming to a decision looked at him again.

 

“Can you leave us one of your team to help Nick and Danny process the scene? Then you and the rest and Flack can do the door to door and the rest of the cop stuff.”

 

There was a light grin on Taylor’s face as he spoke of cop stuff and Jethro suddenly understood that he was purposely goading him. Taylor was testing the limits, trying out how far he could push before Jethro would retaliate and he immediately stepped up to the silent challenge in the blue eyes.

 

“If they bring enough for three people to process.”

 

Taylor smiled a bit, but before he could answer, there was a commotion at the other side of the lab and both men turned around. Seeing the three younger men walk into the lab, Taylor smirked a bit.

 

“That we’ll see soon enough, I guess.”

 

Jethro knew that he was supposed to give a snarky answer back, but couldn’t. His eyes were glued to the picture of the three young men walking towards them. They looked good together, comfortable around each other, and with a bitter smile he realized that Tony had once more managed to immediately connect with other people.

 

He should be proud, he thought as he watched Nick Stokes banter with Tony, but instead of pride at the social skills of his second in command, his eyes involuntarily narrowed a bit. No there was no pride; instead it was hurt as he saw how Tony lightly pushed Stokes after he had made some comment. Jethro clamped down on the feelings, and tried to concentrate on the case. He couldn’t allow himself to think of anything else. Anything but the way Tony moved, the way his eyes sparkled as he laughed at something Stokes had said, and least of all of the cold feeling that clutched at his heart at the thought that he hadn’t heard Tony laugh like this for too long.

 

And still he couldn’t make himself turn away, couldn’t take his eyes off the three men that walked up towards him. Without conscious thought, he memorized every detail of the two men, he suddenly saw as competition.

 

Dark haired, dark eyed with a jock’s built, Stokes walked with the ease of a man who was at home in the lab, comfortable in his skin. From afar he did indeed look like the proverbial jock, but Jethro had seen him close and knew that the dark eyes held intelligence and depth, but also humor and a deep love of life.

 

Less groomed, less jock like and yet still stunningly handsome with the spiky hair, the captivating eyes and the slender body, Messer was equally confident in the lab, but on the whole he looked younger, more insecure and yet also more dangerous. There was something about Danny Messer that made Jethro feel almost uneasy around him. Messer looked at him with knowing eyes as if he could read him perfectly.

 

Jethro’s eyes wandered from Messer to Stokes to the one person he knew, and still couldn’t look at enough. Tony. Tony whose eyes still sparkled after laughing about a joke that Stokes had made. It hurt how young Tony suddenly looked, how this one laughter seemed to have taken away so much of the pain and hurt that had enveloped the other man until then. And with a shiver Jethro realized that Tony felt comfortable here.

 

He might like it enough to stay.

 

He pushed the thought away with vengeance and turned around not ready to look anymore. He shivered inwardly and looked up only to see knowing blue eyes resting on him.

 

“You should tell him.”

 

The casual words made him freeze, but the understanding in the blue eyes stopped him from lashing out at Taylor. Instead he heard himself admit something he had never admitted loudly.

 

“He would leave, if he knew. This way, at least I can watch over him. I don’t want to risk...”

 

He broke off, suddenly realizing how much of himself he had revealed with those few words. The understanding in Taylor’s eyes had not changed, but still Jethro wondered if he hadn’t just made the worst mistake in his life. If Taylor reported him, he tensed a bit not so much because of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’, but if he were fired, who would look out for Tony?

 

His inner voice laughed at that comment, mocked him about how well he had looked out for Tony, reminded him of the near deaths Tony had survived, showed him pictures of pale blue lights and a sickly pale face, reminded him of... A shiver ran through him, but before he could say anything else, Taylor spoke softly.

 

“I know, but believe me; sometimes the rewards are worth the risk.”

 

Once more, Jethro looked at him and this time he knew that Taylor would never report him, understood the compassion in Taylor’s eyes and suddenly knew.

 

Taylor had been there too... and somehow he made the right choice.

 

The reward can be worth the risk...

 

The question was if he was ready to take the risk and ever able to survive the loss.

 

---

 

“You should tell him.”

 

Gibbs’ eyes turned hard and Mac groaned. Since he’d gotten together with Danny he’d taken on some traits of his lover’s character and speaking before thinking obviously was one of those. He was about to apologize, when Gibbs shook his head and sighed.

 

“He would leave, if he knew. This way, at least I can watch over him.”

 

Voice trailing off, Gibbs seemed to get lost in memories and if the expression in his face was any proof those memories weren’t happy once. The pain and resignation in the blue eyes hurt Mac and he spoke more quietly but not less insistent.

 

“I know, but believe me; sometimes the rewards are worth the risk.”

 

Mac knew that he couldn’t hide the compassion he felt and as Gibbs first tensed then visibly relaxed; he realized that Gibbs had seen the emotions in his eyes. He saw understanding dawn in Gibbs’ own blue eyes and wondered if the question would come, but instead Gibbs turned away from him, back straight and tense and Mac sighed slightly.

 

Been there, done that, he thought silently and smiled as he remembered Danny’s usual add on to the saying got a t-shirt.

 

Only that he had not gotten a t-shirt, but Danny, and this time his smile was open as his eyes fell on the group of men that made their way up to his office. Danny saw him and for a second their eyes met and locked. It was only a moment, before there eyes disconnected and Mac turned to look at Gibbs once more. Gibbs was still looking out of the window and Mac studied him silently.

 

He was surprised to realize that he liked Gibbs, and wanted to help him. Then a light smile crossed Mac’s face and he wondered what Danny would think of playing match maker. Turning back and looking at the men now entering his office, he thought back to the few moments when he had realized what was in Gibbs’ heart.

 

From one moment to the other Gibbs had stopped listening to him and for a second he had been surprised, but as he saw the barely concealed longing in Gibbs’ face, he had understood. Keeping silent he had watched Gibbs watch Danny and the other guys come up to his office. There had been so many emotions in the calm face, so many emotions and yet so completely carefully hidden, few people would have recognized the longing, the desire and the love in the hard glare Gibbs sent towards Agent DiNozzo, but Mac understood how a man like Jethro Gibbs ticked. He had ticked alike for a long time.

 

Nick had said something and as DiNozzo laughed in response, Mac had watched how Gibbs’ hand had balled into fists, had watched the conscious effort he made to uncurl his fingers again. And yes Mac could understand that jealousy so well too.

 

Drawing back from the memories and back to reality, Mac smiled lightly as his eyes fell on Danny who right now walked into the office still joking and smiling. His heart tightened at the thought that Danny loved him, that he had woken up this morning with his arms around Danny and that he would go to bed tonight and be able to hold him.

 

The rewards can be worth the risk…

 

His reward had changed his life.

 

“Got anything usable?”

 

Gibbs’ voice was gruff. Nick didn’t seem to notice though and his face was serious, his voice all business as he started to rely their preliminary findings from the crime scene. Mac listened carefully to each and every detail and was once more impressed by Nick’s ability to summarize and yet never lose the important points.

 

“You’re going to need help processing?”

 

He made his words sound like a cross between a statement and a question and Nick quickly looked at him. His eyes were confused first then quickly flickered between Tony and Gibbs and Mac smiled as recognition dawned in the chocolate eyes.

 

“Yeah, that would help. Mac, Tony suggested that we should send some of the DNA samples to their lab. Jane is pretty much backed up as you know.”

 

Mac saw that Gibbs was surprised at the question and thought about it. He didn’t particularly like the idea of giving away any kind of evidence for analysis, however he knew that Jane was indeed backed up and the NCIS team working with them. He made up his mind quickly.

 

“Talk with Jane and if she doesn’t have time, organize the samples to be sent up.”

 

Nick nodded and was about to leave, when Mac called him back.

 

“And Nick? Agent DiNozzo will continue working with you, if that’s ok with you.”

 

He saw how Gibbs tightened his hands once more, but he made no comment just glared at Mac.

 

“We’ll meet at noon for a discussion of all the findings.”

 

---

 

Tony felt as if his entire body was one big hurting bone.

 

When he had gotten out of bed this morning he had hoped for a quiet day at the office doing not much more but finishing the paperwork from their last case, but then Gibbs had ambushed him and forced him into the elevator and now he was in New York once more investigating some murder.

 

Normally he would have loved it. He preferred field work to the office and desk work any day. If he was honest, he still did especially now that he was working with two guys that were both fun and easy going but complete professionals in what they were doing. If only his body wouldn’t hurt this much. A soft moan escaped him as he moved a bit too and he saw how Nick tensed immediately and turned around.

 

“You alright?”

 

Tony hated himself for his immediate reaction which was to tense up and snap at Nick that he was fine and he could just prevent the words from slipping out when he saw the honest concern in the dark eyes.

 

“Yeah, got a bit banged up in our last case, so I’m still a bit sore.”

 

Frowning, Nick looked at him and Tony suddenly understood how an insect under the microscope had to feel under the intense eyes.

 

“Were you injured?”

 

It was a casual sounding question, but Nick’s eyes once again showed his true concern and against his will, Tony felt himself relax a bit.

 

“No, our ME checked me out after, said I was fine.”

 

A shiver went through Nick’s body, but before Tony could ask, Danny interrupted them.

 

“You let your ME check you out?”

 

He sounded completely bewildered and Tony shrugged.

 

“Well, I hate hospitals and Ducky, he’s good and he’s an original.”

 

A faint smile played around Nick’s face as he turned back to the clothing he was examining.

 

“I have a feeling that all ME’s are originals in a way. I loved the guy we had in Vegas.”

 

Tony perked up at that tidbit and he looked more closely at the other man.

 

“You’re from Vegas?”

 

Nick shook his head, but instead of answering, he put something under the microscope and brought it onto the larger screen.

 

“Creepy crawlers seem to follow you around.”

 

The comment came from the door and as Tony turned around he saw that Ziva and Don Flack had returned. Flack was leaning against the door, his face a smirk, his words casual. Tony however looked closer and saw that although he looked casual there was a tension in his body and that the smirk might be in his face, but his eyes were concerned.

 

“Creepy crawlers help us more than anything in this case, Flack.”

 

Nick’s voice was easy and casual and Tony could literally see how Flack relaxed and once more he wondered about the two men. There was a history between them and maybe even more.

 

“And how so Detective Stokes?”

 

Ziva had obviously calmed down enough to be civil. Nick turned around surprised and offered her his hand and with a friendly smile told her to call him Nick. Tony had to silently congratulate the man as she hesitantly smiled. Nick turned back to the screen and slowly began to explain.

 

“This nice little or creepy crawler as Detective Flack likes to call it, tells us that whoever killed the three victims has been somewhere in this area before.”

 

Nick flicked on the next screen which showed a large map of New York and slowly zoomed in onto a smaller area on the north east side of central park.

 

“It’s feeding on some very specific plants and the only place in New York where they are growing is up here.”

 

Tony saw the smile that Danny threw Nick, saw the pride Danny felt for Nick’s findings. Something inside him broke and he suddenly wished to be a part of this team, a team where people cared for each other and a team that consisted of friends not just colleagues.

 

“Why are you so sure that the one bringing them in was the one who killed them?”

 

Taylor’s voice was calm, but still Tony heard the challenge behind the words smiled, some things obviously never changed. He looked up to see Taylor, but instead he met Gibbs’ eyes. Gibbs wasn’t looking at the screen or even at Nick, instead he was looking straight at Tony. The look in the blue eyes was unreadable but still Tony felt it almost like a physical touch and without wanting to he shivered lightly.

 

“Cause we tested their other clothing, but found nothing. And we found traces of dirt mixed in the bloody footprints that led to the fire exit. Dirt which contained the same insects...”

 

Tony heard Nick’s explanation, but the words didn’t really register, his eyes still captivated by Gibbs’ stare, those cold and yet curiously burning eyes.

 

“Nick, you take Officer Davids and get to Central Park and have a look around the area. Flack, can you go with them?”

 

Nick looked up and nodded. His eyes and movements were all business as he printed the map and grabbed his kit. Tony saw him quickly look at Ziva, and then a smile crossed his face as he let her walk ahead with a friendly gesture.

 

“We’ll take Flack’s car, Don that ok?”

 

Flack nodded and followed Nick out of the office. The attention inside the lab turned back to the evidence spread out on the table. Tony’s eyes followed them and his breath caught as he saw how Flack quickly murmured something to Nick and at Nick’s answer put a comforting hand on his lower back. It was a gentle, tender gesture, an intimate one and one that confirmed the suspicions that Tony had had. There was something between the two men. A shiver of longing ran through Tony and he forced himself to turn back towards the lab and the table.

 

Staring at the bloody clothing he felt eyes on him and found Danny Messer looking at him with an assessing gaze. For a long time Messer held his eyes, then casually spoke.

 

“You want to grab something for lunch?”

 

It wasn’t an offer, Tony realized. It was an order.

 

---

 

Danny watched as Tony sat down opposite him and involuntarily he was reminded of the first time he went for lunch with Nick. They had gone to the same deli, but unlike this time, they had just bought sandwiches and brought them back to the lab. A smile crossed his face as he remembered their walk back to the lab and the ensuing conversation.

 

“Getting used to New York?”

 

Nick had grinned at him and then just shrugged.

 

“Getting used to a lot of things, working days again, working in a city like this...”

 

Danny hadn’t known Nick very well then after all it had been Nick’s first day in the lab. Certainly a remarkable day, Danny had liked the older man instantly and Flack, well Flack’s reaction had been special. Danny had been curious about their new team member.

 

“You were on nightshift?”

 

Nick had nodded and explained easily.

 

“Vegas is a night city, not too much happening during the day and when I applied for a transfer to Vegas there was an opening on the nightshift. So I applied and got the job.”

 

It had been the start, Danny thought now as he looked at Special Agent DiNozzo. The start of his friendship with Nick, the start of something special that had in the end mended the rift that had threatened to break their team apart, had changed his own life as much as it had Nick’s.

 

“What’s up with Nick and Flack?”

 

For a second, Danny looked at DiNozzo and watched him closely. He didn’t think that DiNozzo would either mind or would turn out to be a bigot and yet he needed to be sure. Nick had had too much shit thrown at him in his life and Danny knew only too well, that if he misjudged DiNozzo, then not only Nick, but also Don would be in danger.

 

“What do you think is?”

 

He looked straight in DiNozzo’s eyes and was surprised to see a longing in the hazel depth, a longing which was mirrored in the wistful expression on DiNozzo’s face.

 

“I think they are lucky to have found something special and be surrounded by people that respect and protect them.”

 

Just one sentence and yet, the few words told Danny so much. Once more looking at DiNozzo, no he corrected himself mentally, Tony, Danny wondered if Tony realized how much he had just revealed.

 

“Yeah, they are.”

 

Memories of how Nick and Don had gotten together made him smile, but the smile faded as he thought of the reason why Nick had come to New York in the first place.

 

“And I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than Nick.”

 

He trailed off and for a moment hesitated to say the next thing, but remembering his friend, he steeled himself.

 

“Don’t dare to hurt them in anyway.”

 

To his surprise, Tony wasn’t angry instead he chuckled lightly.

 

“Cause you know how to hide a body, don’t you?”

 

The easy banter took Danny by surprise but after a second he started to laugh too and shook his head.

 

“So what’s the deal with your team? I mean no offense, but Officer David seems to have a special attitude.”

 

Tony tensed visibly and Danny could almost see how protective shields came up around him, sighing lightly, he reached out without thinking and bumped his fist lightly against Tony’s forehead causing Tony to startle back and look at him crossed.

 

“I’m not going to pry or to judge Tony, it was just. The way you guys interact with each other, the hostility between you and David, the tension between you and Gibbs; it just all reminds me so much of our team a couple of months ago.”

 

Tony didn’t let him finish, instead he shook his head and laughed, but unlike before it was a bitter laugh, bitter and hard and yet so full of pain that it made Danny shiver.

 

“Your team? Shit Danny, your team is a family. I mean, I can see how much you guys care for each other, gosh, you almost shot me before because you thought I could be a threat to Nick.”

 

Danny saw the light trembling in Tony’s hand as he reached for his coke, then at least outwardly calmer, Tony started to speak again.

 

“We had a great team. But then Kate... she was killed... one shot to the head... we, Gibbs and I were right next to her and it...”

 

He broke off harshly and Danny could see that Tony was forcing himself to keep something back, he had an idea what it was, but didn’t speak instead remained silent waiting for Tony to continue.

 

“Ziva joined us afterwards. She’s new, trying to prove herself, and I... I don’t know. We have a new boss, a former girlfriend of Gibbs’ and she’s got it in for me for some reason. McGee’s too shy and timid to say anything and Abby. I don’t know what it is Danny, why we’re suddenly so fractured, but it feels as if everything is off...”

 

Tony shrugged and immediately groaned lightly and Danny remembered what Tony had told him about being undercover and getting beaten. He filed the information away, but remained quiet.

 

“Gibbs’s not easy to work for. He says that the second ‘b’ is for bastard and sometimes it really is, but you know, I never had a better job, and despite the bastard thing never had a boss I trusted more, but I don’t fit with the team anymore. We have a computer genius, a top trained Mossad agent and Gibbs with his credentials and there’s me; the former cop from Baltimore, the screw up who couldn’t keep a job for longer than two years before joining NCIS, the idiot who gets his co worker killed and...”

 

When Tony had started to speak, Danny had not been prepared for the rush of words, this unloading of deep rooted pain, but he didn’t stop Tony. He just listened to him while he watched Tony. He wasn’t telling everything, but Danny didn’t have a hard time figuring out what Tony omitted. He had been right there too and he knew how everything looked black in that place.

 

“... you know sometimes I wonder why he hasn’t kicked me out yet.”

 

Tony fell silent after the last sentence, then looked up and Danny gasped at the pain in his eyes.

 

“It should have been me, Danny, on that roof, it should have been me...”

 

There was so much pain, such an amount of despair in those words that Danny wanted to weep for Tony, but instead he closed his eyes for a moment, because he knew only too well what Tony was feeling could understand the words he spoke and with a shiver he remembered the talk he had had with Flack right after Aiden had been fired.

 

“I don’t understand it, Don why her? Why never me? Why did he never kick me out, I mean after Tanglewood, after the shooting and everything...”

 

Flack had grabbed him by the shoulder and looked closely at him.

 

“Danny, he didn’t kick you out, cause you didn’t do nothing wrong!”

 

But back then Danny had not believed him and had answered with words that were eerily similar to those Tony had just uttered.

 

“Sometimes, I think it would have been better.”

 

Coming back to reality, Danny looked at Tony who had composed himself again and without saying something just took his hand. Tony looked surprised, but Danny shrugged and smiled.

 

“I for one am glad it wasn’t you.”

 

For a moment Tony stiffened, then an almost shy smile crossed his face and as he relaxed visibly, Danny remembered his thought of before.

 

He was looking into a mirror.

 

---

 

*Chapter 4 – Communication*

 

Mac’s eyes followed Gibbs’s body as he walked down to talk to his agent. He had seen the jealousy and the pain and it irked him that Gibbs wouldn’t listen to him and yet. A wry smile crossed his face at the thought that he himself wouldn’t have listened to anyone a couple of months back.

 

Focusing back on the case, Mac walked briskly along the corridor towards Jane’s lab intent on finding out whether or not she could handle the DNA or if they would need to send some samples to NCIS. Everything in him objected to the idea of sending evidence to another lab, although he knew that it might be the best solution. He smiled ruefully as he remembered something Stella had told Danny only weeks ago.

 

‘If he’s as possessive with you as he is with evidence, you are in for a ride.’

 

Danny had only grinned. Mac smiled again, but the smile turned into a gasp as two hands grabbed him, dragged him into the bathroom and the first stall. He tensed, and all his instincts were screaming at him to fight, but before he could even move, he felt soft lips on his. A hard body pressed against him and Mac relaxed immediately him. His arms went around Danny by their own accord and a low moan escaped him as his lower lip was nibbled tenderly.

 

“I love you.”

 

Danny’s eyes were bright with love and passion and Mac shivered at the thought of how much it meant to him to had Danny in his arms. Shivered at the thought of almost having lost any chance to hold him like this...

 

“And I you! Danny, don’t think I’m complaining, but what happened?”

 

Danny’s eyes were still locked on his and Mac could see the change in them as they turned more distant and sad, afraid of having made a mistake, he drew a breath but before he could even start to speak, Danny beat him to it.

 

“I had lunch with Tony and he’s so, god Mac he’s so sad, so desperate.”

 

Danny’s voice shook a bit as he retold the conversation with Tony and Mac understood why this had affected his lover so much. He wanted to kick Gibbs’ ass for hurting Tony, but at the same time he knew that he’d been guilty of the same crime.

 

“Gibbs loves him.”

 

And in his mind he once more saw the pain and the longing in the blue eyes as Gibbs had watched Tony.

 

“But...”

 

Danny looked at him and Mac saw how his lover understood and shook his head with a smile.

 

“But he’s a Marine and would never do anything to endanger their friendship or Tony’s career.”

 

Soft hands caressed Mac’s face and instinctively Mac leaned into the caress.

 

“You are like twins aren’t you?”

 

Once more a smile crossed over Danny’s face, and then though the smile changed into a smirk and the compassion in the grey-green eyes changed to a sparkle of mischief that made Mac shiver lightly. This was a Danny that he loved and yet had learned to fear.

 

“What do you think, Mac, have you ever played matchmaker?”

 

A low groan escaped him at the thought and he shook his head only to be stopped when his lover glared at him.

 

“If you don’t help me, I’ll ask Stella.”

 

And just like this Mac was defeated.

 

---

 

Ziva sat in the back and watched how Stokes and Flack in the front quickly decided on the best way to drive towards their destination in the ever busy NY traffic. They hadn’t asked her and while some part of her was annoyed, there was another just as large part that understood. Unlike Don Flack and Nick Stokes, she wasn’t from New, so why would they ask a foreigner for directions and still it irked her. It felt as if she was dismissed, yet before she could dwell on the feeling, Stokes turned towards her.

 

“Where about are you from?”

 

Surprised and immediately suspicious she looked at him crossly causing him to explain with a smile.

 

“You have an accent that I can’t place.”

 

There was nothing but honest curiosity in the dark eyes, no deception, no hidden agenda and giving into the question she answered with a smile.

 

“Israel.”

 

Nick’s eyes grew bigger then he grinned.

 

“Cool.”

 

Confused and somehow surprised by the easy comment she looked at him questioningly until he shrugged and explained.

 

“Never met anyone from there. “

 

It was such an easy answer, such a logical one and once more Ziva realized that her upbringing and subsequent stay with the Mossad had tainted her perception of people. She had learned once long ago, that everyone had an agenda, everyone was out to best the other and most of the time her experiences had shown that that her teachings were the truth. Now though, the longer she worked with Gibbs’ team the more she started to doubt and it shook her to her core and unbalanced her entire view of the world.

 

“You aren’t from New York yourself, are you?”

 

It was just conversation she told herself, nothing but conversation and a way to find out more about Stokes who had been friendly from the start yet had defied Gibbs with an ease that she had never seen before.

 

“Texas”

 

He would have said more, she realized but his cell phone buzzed, he took it out and answered it cheerfully. Ziva leaned back and watched him talk. He was so open she thought and with the thought came bitterness, bitterness and envy; it was easy to be open if nothing bad ever happened to someone, easy to leave the job in the lab when he could go home to a perfect life. She had never had that life, never had that choice.

 

“Here we are.”

 

Flack had stopped the car and getting out she followed them to a secluded area in the park where Nick started to kneel down and examine the soil. Flack waited at the edge of the area, his eyes scanning the surroundings and for a moment she wasn’t sure what to do, then though she walked towards Nick only to have Flack stop her.

 

“He’s better at this stuff than we are, we’d just disturb some vital things.”

 

He didn’t say it in any kind of patronizing voice and yet annoyance ripped through her at being faulted once more, looking straight into the blue eyes she hissed quietly at him.

 

“Don’t dare to hold me back; I’ve got more experience in dangers and observation than you could ever dream of.”

 

He just looked at her closely, and then his eyes narrowed a bit before he spoke again.

 

“Feel free to go and embarrass yourself, but you know, despite my limited experience, I learned one thing fast, don’t try to do a CSI’s job cause they’re doing it better anyway.”

 

Ziva couldn’t stand the smugness in his face and walked down towards where Nick kneeled in the ground carefully making a cast of a footprint.

 

“Watch where you’re going, will you?”

 

His voice was still friendly but serious and without wanting to Ziva obeyed and stepped back a bit. She watched as he removed the cast from the mold and made several pictures before he collected some dirt, some flowers and finally got up and straightened his back. For a moment he just stood there looking at the garden without moving, then slowly he turned around and his eyes fell on her.

 

“Why are you so hostile with us, with your team?”

 

Shocked at the sudden and personal question, she glared at him, but still answered coldly.

 

“I don’t trust you or them.”

 

Dark, deep eyes held hers captive as Stokes studied her for a long time, then he averted his gaze and once more sweeping the area for something he had missed, he spoke softly almost inaudibly.

 

“If you don’t trust your team, then who do you trust to watch your back Ziva?”

 

His eyes fixed her again as he continued to speak still quietly, but much more intense now.

 

“If you lost and in need of help, who do you trust to find you?”

 

She could see dark memories rising in his eyes and saw how Stokes’ hand trembled slightly as he put everything back into his kit. Once more he straightened and slowly began to walk back to where Flack had been watching them silently.

 

“Who do you trust to save you, if not your team?”

 

It was then that she realized that her first assessment of him had been false. Nick Stokes was not untouched by evil, but somehow his experience had not turned him bitter.

 

Who do you trust to save you, if you don’t trust your team?

 

The question echoed in her mind on the entire drive back to the lab, and she shivered a bit as she understood the answer to the question.

 

“No one”

 

Her whispered answer echoed through the empty hallway and once more a shiver ran through her.

 

----

 

Nick could see that he had rattled Ziva with his question, but before he could even think about the implications of it, he was ambushed by Danny who grabbed his arm and dragged him towards one of the storage rooms.

 

“Danny, I honestly don’t think Mac would appreciate it if you had your wicked ways with me in some random storage room.”

 

His friend grinned at the comment and locked the door behind them.

 

“He ordered me to do it.”

 

Looking at Danny, Nick just raised an eyebrow and waited for an explanation and as none came shook his head.

 

“Well, that’s a new kink of his.”

 

Danny grinned but immediately turned serious again.

 

“We have to do something, he’s really hurting badly.”

 

Ok, now he was confused and with a patient gesture he raised his hands to calm Danny a bit down.

 

“Slow down, who’s hurting whom and why and what do we have to do?”

 

Sometimes, Nick mused as he questioned Danny, he felt so much older than his friend. It was a scary feeling to realize that he sounded like Grissom sometimes and with a grin he looked at Danny’s sparkling eyes.

 

“Tony, he’s so in love with Gibbs and gosh he’s so unhappy, feels...”

 

Danny trailed off and looked away from Nick, then with a deep sigh, he finished.

 

“He feels like I did before you joined the team.”

 

Nick reacted out of instinct and grasped Danny by his shoulders forcing his friend to look at him.

 

“Danny, are you ok?”

 

The smile he got was blinding in its happiness and it made him feel lighter and happier, then though he thought about Tony and with Danny’s words to make him understand some of the things that had happened, he could see what Danny had meant.

 

“Ok and what do you expect us or me to do?”

 

Danny looked at him and Nick groaned at the mischief he saw in the greenish eyes.

 

“Lock them in a closet?”

 

Barely able to suppress a grin at the clichéd answer, Nick grew serious and shook his head.

 

“What would have happened had they locked you and Mac into a storage room back then?”

 

Seeing Danny suppress a shudder he knew that he had made a point and with a smile he unlocked the door.

 

“Mac thinks Gibbs is in love with him and was jealous of you. So, we have to talk to Don and then have Mac assign you and Tony a bit more and if you look at Tony with those dark eyes of yours...”

 

Danny grinned at the thought as they walked along the hallway and turned towards his boss’ and lover’s office.

 

“You talk to Don and I’ll talk to Mac.”

 

Nick’s eyes followed him but soon enough he turned back and walked towards the lab. His mind was spinning and he shook his head.

 

“I’ll talk with Don. Now that will go well...”

 

He loved Don. Their shifts had not given them much time together lately and Nick felt the effect of having to sleep alone. He was tired and his defenses were stretched thin. The detection of the insects had not made him shiver or panic, but when he had seen the ants crawling over the grass right next to him in Central Park, he had needed all his strength to not run away. Taking a deep breath, Nick leaned against the wall and closed his eyes against the memories but still his body tingled. His fingers, no his entire body felt as if those little animals were once again crawling over him and with a desperate sigh he wrapped his arms around himself to stop his hands from scratching and clawing at his skin.

 

“Damn it...”

 

But no matter how often he cursed himself for being weak, no matter how often he told himself to be strong, the panic stayed with him and he fought through it with closed eyes. He had done so before and he did it now again, he tool deep breaths and pictured a perfect moment in his mind, the moment when he woke and saw Don next to him, imagined Don’s face, his eyes.

 

“Nick, love it’s alright, you’re ok, and you are safe. I am here.”

 

Soft hands were on his face, soft words cut through the haze of memories and panic and slowly Nick relaxed and looked up to meet Don’s concerned eyes.

 

“I’m fine again, sorry.”

 

Don straightened immediately, his entire behavior changing back from the lover to the fellow cop, but his hands still lingered on Nick’s shoulder and his eyes were still full of concern.

 

“Sorry.”

 

Don shook his head, but before Nick could say anything, another person made their presence known and immediately Don stepped back an inch.

 

“Nick, are you ok?”

 

Tony’s voice was hesitant almost as if he wasn’t sure whether he was welcome and Nick felt himself tense at the thought. Then though he met the concerned hazel eyes and smiled at Tony.

 

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I was just on the way to the lab, what have you guys found so far?”

 

---

 

It was the sound of someone crying softly, the sound of suppressed whimpers that made Tony walk faster. He turned instinctively towards the source of the sounds which were so full of fear and despair. He almost ran around the corner and froze as if he had walked into a wall at the picture he faced.

 

Nick was standing or more leaning against the wall, his body shaking with tremors, his hands clawing at his arms while he visibly tried to keep them still. Tony shivered at the expression in Nick’s face. It was a mask of terror, his eyes were closed, his features distorted. The fear in the handsome face tore at his heart, but before he could move, Don Flack appeared from behind him and without even looking at him he rushed to Nick’s side.

 

“Nick, love it’s alright, you’re ok, and you’re safe. I am here now.”

 

Don’s words were soft, tender and with an incredible gentleness he leaned towards Nick. He caressed Nick’s face with soft hands and shielded him from Tony’s eyes while he mumbled soft words that obviously cut through Nick’s panic as the tremors slowly subsided. Tony watched as Nick looked up and he saw the love in the dark eyes even from the distance he was standing.

 

“I’m fine again, sorry.”

 

Nick’s voice still trembled, but obviously something he had said made Don straighten immediately, his entire behavior changing back from the lover to the fellow cop. And yet Tony could see that his hands still lingered on Nick’s body, still offered strength and comfort.

 

Looking at them made Tony hurt in a way he had never known he could hurt. Longing cursed through him, longing to have what they had. How often had he wished for someone to just hold him and tell him that he was safe? How long since someone had wanted more than just his body?

 

It almost physically hurt to look at them and maybe that was what made him announce his presence.

 

“Nick, are you ok?”

 

He could see how Nick tensed and as he followed him towards the lab he felt Don’s eyes on him the entire way. Tony knew that he had to make them understand that he wasn’t the enemy and would never do anything to threaten them and without thinking much, he stopped walking until Don had caught up with him.

 

“You don’t have to worry; I would never endanger you.”

 

Don’s eyes rested on him for a long time and Tony felt as if he were stripping him with his eyes. Then suddenly a smile broke out and Don reached out with his hand.

 

“Thanks.”

 

So simple, so honest and once more Tony felt the longing return, the longing to belong to someone or no not someone, to belong to Gibbs.

 

“What did you find in the park?”

 

He forced himself to concentrate on the evidence Nick had found and soon the connections between the background searches he had made and the evidence Nick had found made sense.

 

“She was a volunteer.”

 

Nick turned around and looked at him confused, but Tony saw the moment when he understood and immediately reached for the office phone.

 

“Mac, Gibbs can you join us, we might have found a connection.”

 

---

 

“Mac, Gibbs can you join us, we might have found a connection.”

 

Standing in the lab, watching Tony and Nick explaining their findings, Gibbs couldn’t help but clenching his fists. Nick and Tony complemented each other perfectly. Nick had a strong analytical mind, had a scientific outlook in everything and Tony supplied the insight and the knowledge of human behavior. They were a strong pair and he growled lightly as he once more realized that Tony obviously felt incredibly comfortable working with the New York team.

 

“Good work guys, I’ve just talked to Jane, she will have the DNA results by tomorrow morning, same with trace results. Nick, Tony can you go through the employee lists first thing tomorrow morning and check who was working at the site yesterday and the day before?”

 

Mac’s words made Gibbs look up sharply, but Mac didn’t even look at him instead he was already assigning Ziva and Danny to both look into the other victims’ backgrounds and ensure all evidence had been processed.

 

“Call it a day ok?”

 

Gibbs watched with envy as Mac walked over to Messer and quickly talked to him. Messer nodded at once and looking over to Tony invited him to join them for dinner. Before Tony could even answer, Nick added something that made Gibbs tense completely for a moment.

 

“We’ll be going for some basketball first, but with your injuries you might wanna skip that.”

 

The fact that Nick knew about Tony’s bruises was bad enough, but the care and concern behind the simple statement made Gibbs clench his jaw. Nick knew Tony less than twelve hours and yet he already included him in his considerations. And what had Gibbs done?

 

Gibbs was the bastard who knew Tony for over four years and still didn’t allow himself to care for him.

 

“Dinner would be great; you going to join us, boss?”

 

It took him a while to realize that Tony had asked him something. The words filtered through his brain and with it the truth.

 

Tony wanted him to join. Joy raced through him, when another thought dampened it. Was it just politeness, was it just the ingrained friendliness that made Tony ask?

 

He wanted to decline, when he felt Mac’s eyes on him. Mac didn’t say anything, but his eyes gave him a clear message.

 

‘If you say no now, I’ll kick your ass.’

 

Gibbs wasn’t sure if Mac actually could kick his ass, but he didn’t feel like trying out.

 

---