*Chapter
12 – Man down*
*Las Vegas*
Sara stared at her computer screen and although she rationally
understood what the words on the screen said, she couldn’t comprehend what they
really meant. Again and again she pressed the refresh button until finally she
shuddered. Her finger hovered over the print button for a moment and then
taking another deep breath she printed the short article.
She needed to show it to Gris, and still she hesitated as if she could
make the message go away by hiding it. Sara shook her head at herself and quickly
walked over towards Grissom’s office. “Gris? You got to see this. I found it on
the Internet.”
Handing him the printout she watched as he read it and saw how he paled.
Sara knew what the print out said and silently read it again as he held it
towards her.
AMERICAN TOURIST KILLED IN CAR
CRASH IN TIJUANA, MEXICO
A traffic accident ended in a
fatality Tuesday night. The incident
occurred at 7 pm on the intersection of
Grissom stared at her for a moment and then he closed his eyes. “There’s
no way that Willie Cutler didn’t know that.”
Sara nodded silently and waited for her boss to continue talking. “So he
knows that Brass will never get Sammy on the phone.”
She couldn’t remain silent. “Brass walked into a trap.”
Grissom reached for his phone and Sara saw how his hands trembled as he
dialed Brass’ number. While they waited for Brass to pick up their eyes met and
Grissom finished the sentence that Sara had started.
“A trap from which he was never supposed to walk away.”
The fear and anger that had lain coiled in Sara’s chest since she had
read the article suddenly exploded and she could feel herself starting to shake
violently. Grissom watched her and his kind eyes were too much. She almost ran
out of his office and hid herself in an empty lab trying frantically to calm
down while her mind showed her crystal clear pictures of Jim Brass standing at
gun point in a tastefully decorated hotel room.
In her mind she saw Willie Cutler smile cruelly and she heard the shot.
Something in her broke at the mental image and she pressed her hands against
her eyes wanting to erase the pictures.
“Sara, are you ok?”
Greg’s voice was concerned and she looked up to meet his eyes with a
shake of her head. “No, we just found out that Brass has been set up. Cutler’s
brother died two months ago, and he knew it.”
She could see Greg pale as he understood and he looked at her. “What’s
Grissom going to do now?”
Dear Greg, Sara thought, he still believed that Grissom could right all
wrongs and she didn’t begrudge him his faith in their boss and yet she was old
enough to know that in this instance there was nothing Grissom could do.
“He’s going to call Brass, it’s Brass’ call.”
And his life, but she didn’t need to add that.
---
Grissom’s mind was whirling while he waited for Brass to pick up. He
knew he needed to tell Jim, but at the same time he wished that his friend
wouldn’t pick up. The news he was about to give Jim were pretty much a death
sentence.
A click alerted him and immediately he heard Jim’s laconic voice. “Yeah”
Grissom took a deep breath and slowly exhaled again. “Jim? Sammy
Cutler's dead. He died in a car crash in Mexico two months ago. Willie had to
know. He's been playing us.”
For a moment there Jim didn’t respond then he answered and his voice was
as calm and quiet as before. And still Grissom heard the slight resignation in
it. ”I got it, yeah. Thanks. “
The connection was severed and Grissom wanted to throw the phone at the
wall, but instead he got up and walked out of his office in search of his team.
He didn’t know what he would tell them, but he just couldn’t stay alone in his
office knowing what was going to happen in a hotel room across the city.
---
Sammy Cutler's dead. He died
in a car crash in Mexico two months ago. Willie had to know. He's been playing
us.
He hadn’t needed Grissom to repeat the words and his friend hadn’t. The
words and what they meant had flashed through his mind at the same time as a
deep sadness had enveloped him. Brass knew what he had to do and yet he didn’t
want to. Putting the phone back in his pocket, he looked at the man who had
already killed four people. Willie Cutler had indeed played them and they had
played along his tune. That was going to change now, but still Brass had hoped
that the price wouldn’t be so high.
“Hey, Willie. Sammy's not coming up.
But I guess we both know that, right?”
Some part of Brass was proud how steady his voice sounded compared to
the frantic beating of his heart. Willie Cutler smiled coldly. “Yeah. It's a
good thing I have the gun.”
For a moment their eyes met and they measured each other. Brass knew
that there was no other way out and from the fatalistic look in Willie Cutler’s
eyes, the other man knew it too. The only question now was if it would happen
fast enough to save Cutler’s innocent hostage.
Brass took a deep breath and consciously produced Conrad’s image in
front of his inner eye. He didn’t want Cutler to be the last face he would see.
Cutler’s hand didn’t tremble and Brass spoke the code word.
“Jim!”
Time seemed to slow down almost excruciatingly. Brass heard the door
break and at the same time he heard the shots from Cutler’s gun. Two bullets,
he thought, but before he could even process the thought a feeling like liquid
fire smashed in his chest and he knew the vest had been penetrated. Pain spread
from his chest to his entire body making him moan and it felt as if his entire
strength was sucked out of him.
Brass didn’t feel the impact of the floor as he fell down, he didn’t
hear the shots as the SWAT team shot Cutler, instead he felt fire and ice
burning in his veins and his body. He tried to breath around the pain, but the
simple act of breathing became an enormous task as the room started spin around
him. Darkness tugged at his eyes and be barely heard the SWAT leader’s words.
“Man down, we’ve got a man down.”
For a moment Brass wondered who the other man meant, then the darkness
engulfed him completely.
---
“Man down, we’ve got a man down.”
Eric heard the words on the radio and everything in him froze. He couldn’t
process them and even as he watched Catherine reach for the radio he didn’t
hear her speak instead he heard another, older voice. It was a voice that still
haunted him in his dreams sometimes.
“This is CSI Caine. We have a
priority here! I got a man down, shots fired!”
“Eric? Eric!” Catherine’s hand on his shoulder pulled him back to
reality and he looked at her. She was pale and her hand trembled as she put it
back on the steering wheel of the car.
“Brass was shot.”
Eric swallowed hard. “Is he...?”
He couldn’t finish the sentence, but Catherine knew what he meant and
shook her head. “No, but he’s in ICU. I told Grissom that I’ll meet him there.”
The idea of going to the hospital terrified Eric and frantically he
shook his head. “No, Cat, I can’t go there. Please I, I just can’t go to the
hospital.”
She looked at him as if he had grown a second head, but after a moment a
look of understanding crossed over her face and she reached out to touch his
arm. “I’m sorry, Eric, I forgot about your sister.”
It’s not only about my sister, it’s about my lover too, Eric thought,
but he didn’t voice his thoughts, instead he remained silent until Catherine
looked at him. “Do you want to go to the lab?”
Thinking for a moment, Eric felt nothing but cold and fear and making an
instant decision he shook his head. “Can you drive by the Montecito?”
Catherine frowned, but to Eric’s surprise she didn’t ask anything and
that in turn made him tell her the truth. “My partner works there.”
She looked at him surprised, before a smile crossed her face. “Good.”
---
Grissom stared blindly at the wall in the waiting room of the hospital .
He didn’t see it, instead he kept flashing back to the cozy restaurant where he
and Brass had sat several months ago. Brass had looked troubled and then out of
the blue he had started to talk.
“I know how my daughter Ellie lives. I know the company she keeps and I
know what she does to get by. A couple of nights ago I'm in LA and sitting in
my car on Hollywood Boulevard watching her work a corner and my eyes are
playing tricks on me because I don't see what she's doing, I see what she was. I
see a little six year-old girl with a
ponytail, playing with crayons, singing a little tune to herself. All I want to
do is save her.
Brass had spoken quietly and yet with an intensity that had shaken
Grissom. Grissom had wanted to say something, but Brass had beaten him and
continued. “But the thing is, you know, if something happened to me I don't think
Ellie would, uh ... care.”
Brass had handed him some papers and when Grissom had looked at them he
had swallowed hard. It had been papers that gave him power of attorney in
medical urgencies. The trust implied in the simple gesture had touched Grissom
deeply. He had looked at Brass a bit helplessly and Brass had smiled.
“ I'm asking you to do me this favor.
There's no one I trust more with my life, or my death than you.”
Returning to the now, Grissom shivered. He had known when he’d signed
the papers that one day he might hold Brass’ life in his hands and yet now that
he did, he was terrified.
---
Conrad was talking with the sheriff when the call came and it took all
his strength not to collapse. Terror raced through him and he held onto the
wall.
Jim had been shot.
“Conrad, you ok?”
The sheriff’s voice didn’t penetrate the fog that had descended, all he
could think was that his lover had been shot, that Jim had been shot, shot,
shot.
“Conrad!” The shout was accompanied by a hand on his shoulder and he
jerked back to reality meeting the sheriff’s concerned eyes. “What’s going on,
Conrad?”
Nothing, I just freaked because my lover has been shot, Conrad didn’t
voice his thoughts, instead he forced a smile on his face as he looked at the
sheriff again. “Sorry, I drifted off for a moment. I’m not feeling too well,
might come down with something.”
The sheriff nodded gravely, and Conrad left feeling as if he was in a
trance. He walked towards the exit and his car, when a hand stopped him.
Vartaan stood next to his car and shook his head.
“You’re not driving, Conrad.” Vartaan reached out and without another
word, Conrad handed him the keys and got into the car. He sat down and stared
ahead blindly before he turned towards his friend. “How is he?”
Vartaan shrugged, but the gesture looked forced and Conrad’s heart
constricted. “I don’t know. All I heard was that he was critical when they
brought him in and that he was shot at close range.”
Critical... The word echoed through Conrad’s mind and he forced himself
to concentrate on the facts. Critical could mean anything and looking at
Vartaan, he silently asked for more information. Vartaan sighed. “He was in a
hostage situation and the hostage taker shot him.”
Silence fell between them until Conrad noticed where Vartaan drove them.
He tensed and shook his head. “No, Tony. Not the hospital.”
Vartaan looked at him and Conrad could see understanding in his friend’s
eyes. “Con, you need to be there, ok? He needs you there.”
Tony was probably right, and still Conrad had to force himself to walk
into the hospital as they arrived. Tony held him back for a moment and clasped
his shoulder. “Con, there’s something you need to know before you walk in
there.”
Dread filled him, but forcing it down, he looked at his friend. “What?”
“Grissom has Jim’s power of attorney.”
---
Delinda saw Eric the moment he walked into the casino. She was just
about to leave for an interview with a potential new staff for her club when
her eyes fell on Eric. He was ghastly pale and even from the distance she could
see the tremors that ran through his body. Something had happened and she
almost ran over and grabbed his arm.
“Eric, what’s going on?”
His eyes were darker than she had ever seen them and she easily
recognized the horror and shock in them. It scared her and forcibly she calmed
herself and led him over to a secluded corner.
“Are you alright?”
He shivered again and finally focused on her. “I need to see Danny, but
I can’t, can’t go up like this. Could you ask him to come down?”
Concerned, Delinda nodded, but at the same time decided that whatever
had happened was grave enough to warrant no cameras and gently she began to
steer Eric towards the elevators. She knew that her father was out and his
office had no cameras. Eric followed silently and only balked at the entrance
of the office. “Where are we?”
“My dad’s office, there are no cameras here.”
For a moment Eric hesitated, but Delinda pushed him gently while she
smiled. “Dad won’t mind, believe me.”
She walked over and dialed Danny’s number. He picked up immediately.
“Ed, I thought you’re out today?”
Delinda laughed, but sobered quickly at the sight of Eric trembling
again. “Danny, Eric is here. Something happened, he needs you.”
---
There was something in Delinda’s voice that made the hairs stand up on
Danny’s neck and he didn’t answer her instead he ended the call and left the
office. He walked fast and anxiously tapped his fingers as he waited for the
elevator to appear. Eric was supposed to be working, what had happened?
Entering Ed’s office, Danny barely noticed Delinda and his eyes were
fixed on his lover. The sight of Eric shocked him, his lover was as pale as a
sheet and his eyes looked haunted. Something bad had happened and whatever it
was it had shaken Eric to his core.
“Eric, what’s going on?”
Eric looked at him and Danny shuddered at the broken sound that escaped
his lover before Eric collapsed in his arms. Danny held Eric close and felt the
shivers that ran through his body until Eric looked up and swallowed hard. “Jim
Brass was shot.”
It took Danny a moment to understand, and then he understood again. The
shooting had woken memories that Eric hadn’t really dealt with and pulling his
partner close, Danny soothed him through another bout of shivers.
“Is he in the hospital?”
Silently Danny was praying that Brass wasn’t dead. He hadn’t known Brass
well, but he had respected him as a good and honest cop. Eric still trembled as
he looked up and met Danny’s eyes. “Yes.”
“Let’s go there.” He could feel Eric tense, but he knew that Eric had to
see for himself that Brass was alive and was going to be alright.
Eric though was shaking his head. “I can’t... Danny, I can’t go there,
what if he dies?”
“He won’t, Eric, but you need to see him, ok? You need to go there and
see that it’s different, that he’ll live.”
Eric tensed even more and before Danny could anticipate his reaction,
Eric pushed him away. “Don’t you dare comparing this to Speed, you have no
right.”
Eric’s words cut Danny as if they were knives. But before he could even
reply Eric made a broken sound and swayed on his feet. Danny was there
immediately holding onto his partner as Eric’s legs gave out. Sliding down
carefully Danny held Eric in his arms as Eric looked up.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry...”
“It’s ok. You’re distraught. It’s ok, Eric.” Danny caressed Eric’s back
and let him compose himself again while he whispered soothing words into Eric’s
neck. “It’s going to be alright.”
Finally Eric looked up and met Danny’s eyes with a determined look.
“You’re right. I need to go to the hospital.”
Danny felt relieved and pulling Eric up with him, he reached for his
phone to call a car. “We shouldn’t drive.”
Eric tensed again and looked at Danny. “You coming with me?”
Danny saw the hope in Eric’s eyes and leaned down for a quick kiss. “I
told you, you’re not alone in this.”
Eric pulled him close and for a moment they stood there close together
soaking strength from each other. Then Eric moved back and looked at Danny.
“Thanks.”
---
“Captain Brass was shot twice.
First bullet lodged in his vest. Second entered through the center mass,
hit an artery, and is lodged near his heart. He's has internal hemorrhaging.”
Grissom’s head was swimming with words something that he couldn’t
remember experiencing. It took him a second until he understood the doctor’s
words and when they sank in he swallowed once before he nodded slowly. “Any
neural damage?”
The doctor shrugged lightly. “We won't know until we stop the bleeding.
If we stop it. Have next-of-kin been notified?”
Here it comes, Grissom thought and he knew that he had now a
responsibility that he had never wanted. He literally held Brass’ life in his
hands and the thought terrified him. The doctor looked at him expectantly and
Grissom cleared his throat. “For medical purposes, I have his power of
attorney.”
Looking almost relieved the doctor nodded and looked gravely at the room
in which Brass was lying. “You may have a decision to make.”
Grissom was aware of that and yet, how could he make such a decision?
Dread ran through him and he nodded slowly before he turned around and walked
back to the waiting room. Catherine was there, he noted with a sideways glance,
and so were Sara and Warrick. Looking up when he entered they all went silent
and Grissom felt their eyes like needles.
They all were pale and looking at him for guidance, but how could he
give them any? Grissom shivered as he felt a wave of nausea hit him and he sat
down slowly.
“Grissom? Any news?”
Warrick’s question was tentative and somehow the fact that Warrick
didn’t expect him to know everything made it easier for Grissom to answer.
“They’re still trying to stop the bleeding.”
A gasp from the door made him look up and he tensed immediately when he
saw Ecklie stand there. Vartaan was standing next to him and both men looked
pale and drawn. Ecklie ignored the looks and slowly walked over to Grissom.
“What happened?”
There was so much pain in Ecklie’s voice that Grissom looked at him
surprised. “The doctor said that Brass
was shot twice. First bullet lodged in his vest. Second entered through the
center mass, hit an artery, and is lodged near his heart. They still haven’t
been able to stop the bleeding.”
Ecklie shivered and for a moment closed his eyes as if the news were too
much for him to process. Vartaan had sat down next to Ecklie and now clasped
his shoulder tightly. Grissom watched the display confused and yet he could
tell that Ecklie’s shock and pain was real.
Why would he care about Brass?
“Are you going to stay here?” Catherine’s voice brought Grissom back
from his musings and he nodded. “Yes, the doctor said that he might need me to
give consent to the next procedures.”
The words tasted bitter in his mouth, but Catherine didn’t comment on
them instead she simply nodded. “Warrick, Sara and I will go back to the lab.
We’ll let you know if anything comes up.”
Nodding Grissom looked up and at his team. “Where are Greg and Eric?”
“Greg’s at the lab, he said that he would hold down the fort while we’re
here and Eric kind of broke down at the news.” Warrick met Grissom’s eyes and
Grissom could see the other’s concern for Eric. “I think this hit him pretty
hard. He’s already lost two people in shootings and I guess it woke...”
Looking up when Warrick trailed off, Grissom followed Warrick’s eyes and
saw Eric walk into the room . He wasn’t alone though and from the way Danny
McCoy stood next to him, it was clear that they were more than friends. Eric
was pale as he looked at his team, and Grissom saw the fear in the dark eyes.
He wasn’t sure though what Eric was afraid of, the team’s reaction or news
about Brass.
“How is Captain Brass?”
McCoy spoke calmly and Grissom looked at him. He didn’t know much about
the other man, but right now he was here to support one of Grissom’s team and
that alone earned him Grissom’s respect.
“They can’t say yet. He’s got internal injuries and a bullet close to
his heart.”
“But he’s alive?” Eric’s voice was flat as if he was bracing himself for
bad news and Grissom realized that Warrick had been right. The shooting had
woken dark memories for Eric.
“He’s alive.”
Eric sagged a little and McCoy immediately reached out to steady him.
“Let’s sit down ok?”
Gently he steered Eric towards a chair and sat down next to him. Grissom
watched their exchange and to his surprise he felt envy at their closeness.
Sighing again, he met McCoy’s eyes and shook his head.
“Take him home, I’ll call when something happens.”
McCoy held his eyes for a moment and Grissom read the gratitude in them
before the other man nodded and helped Eric get up.
“Thanks Mr. Grissom.”
Grissom watched them leave and again felt jealousy wake in him. Not at
Eric or at McCoy, but at the way they were each other’s strength. They
supported each other, he thought and that was something he would never have.
---
Conrad felt as if he was living a nightmare and if it hadn’t been for
Tony’s hand on his shoulder grounding him, he knew that he wouldn’t have found
the strength to address Grissom. He was alone in the waiting room with Grissom
now that his team had left and he knew that Grissom probably wanted him gone
too. He had to speak with him before something happened, before Grissom had to
make a decision, before Conrad would lose Jim forever.
“Gil, do you have a moment?” Conrad saw how Grissom’s eyes darkened with
doubt and he cursed his bad rapport with the man who held Jim’s life in his
hands. Tony’s hand left his shoulder and the absence of the calming presence
jolted him back into reality just as Grissom nodded.
“Tony told me that you’ve got Jim’s power of attorney.” Grissom nodded
and frowned, but it took Conrad a second to understand that it was him calling
Brass Jim that puzzled Grissom.
“I do, but I must say I’m amazed that you’d care. Why are you here,
Conrad?” The words were like bullets to his heart, but Conrad knew that he
couldn’t blame Grissom for questioning him. Still it hurt.
Tony’s hand was back, giving him strength and telling him silently that
his friend had his back. Conrad gathered his courage and met Grissom’s eyes
directly. “We are lovers.”
Holding his breath, he waited for the fallout, but Grissom only looked
at him as if he was an intriguing bug. “Lovers?”
Seeing no censure simply curiosity and surprise in Grissom’s eyes,
Conrad nodded again and elaborated a bit. “For a bit more than a month now.”
Grissom looked thoughtful and then suddenly nodded. “He was more
relaxed, more easy going lately. Happy...”
Conrad closed his eyes against the onslaught of memories and he pressed
his hands against each other to stop them from shaking. Happy, he thought, yes,
they had been happy, happy that they had a second chance, happy that they had
been able to reconcile their differences. And now?
“Dr. Grissom?”
The white clad doctor who’d entered the room looked serious and Conrad’s
heart tightened as the man walked closer. “I’m Dr. Walker, Mr. Brass’ surgeon.
You hold his power of attorney, I was told?”
Grissom nodded and got up slowly. “That’s correct, yes.”
Dr. Walker looked sideways at Conrad and Conrad clenched his hands as he
realized what the doctor’s next words would be. “Maybe we should discuss this
somewhere private.”
Conrad got up immediately and clasped Grissom’s shoulder. He knew that
this moment was the perfect opportunity for Grissom to pay him back all the
petty annoyances that Conrad had caused him. Grissom simply had to say yes and
Conrad would be excluded from any decisions concerning Jim. For a moment their
eyes met and held and then Grissom shook his head.
“Mr. Ecklie is a close friend of Captain Brass. I want him to stay.”
Conrad didn’t hear Tony leave, he didn’t even notice that Grissom had
sat down again, all he felt was relief and gratefulness. Grissom could have
punished him, but he had played fair and Conrad knew that he wouldn’t forget
this.
The surgeon’s next words took him back to reality and he listened
avidly. “We managed to stop the
bleeding, but his condition is critical.”
Critical... Swallowing hard, Conrad was suddenly glad that Grissom was
next to him, calm and confident and someone Conrad trusted despite all their
differences.
“What are the options?” Grissom’s voice didn’t waver as he asked.
Instead he looked at Dr. Walker intently as the doctor answered. “We could try
to remove the bullet.”
“What are the risks?” Again, Grissom’s question was detached and calm
and again, Conrad was glad that he didn’t have to ask, that he didn’t have to
make a decision. His heart beat hard as he waited for an answer and when the
surgeon shrugged he tensed.
“If we go in, the vertebral artery could be impacted. He could bleed out
or stroke out. Permanent incapacitation. On the other hand, if we don’t
operate, the bullet could migrate into the artery and, again, cause a stroke or
kill him. Or it could stay there for
years and do nothing.”
He wanted to cry out against the injustice of it, wanted to cry at the
thought that he had held Jim only this morning and that now he might never be
able to do so again.
“What are the odds?” This time Grissom’s voice was wavering and looking
at the other man Conrad saw that he was pale. Walker frowned and shook his
head. “Mr. Grissom, this isn't a casino. I don't give odds. It's your call.”
And it was, wasn’t it? The reality of Grissom being the one having to
decide made Conrad’s world spin. He wanted to say something, but couldn’t find
any words and so he was mute until Grissom looked at him. “Conrad, what do you
want me to do?”
Conrad couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe and Grissom turned back to
Walker. “Give us a moment, please?”
The doctor frowned, but left the room and immediately Grissom turned
back to Conrad. “I’m not going to decide without your consent, Conrad. He’s
your partner.”
“And your friend.” Conrad said it without rancor, without thinking about
it and when their eyes met it was with understanding and the realization that
they had a commonality now.
“Do it, Gil. I know about the risk, but Jim is an action person not
someone who waits.”
Grissom smiled a bit at that and called Dr. Walker back it. The surgeon
looked back and forth between Conrad and Grissom and Conrad felt himself tense
when Grissom took a deep breath. “Do it.”
“Ok, we’ll prepare him for surgery.”
Walker’s voice was business as usual and Conrad wanted to hit the doctor
for it. Still at the same time he understood that for Walker it really was
business as usual. Watching the doctor leave, Conrad sank back onto his chair
when he felt Grissom’s hand on his arm.
“Go home, Conrad, you can’t do anything for him here. I’ll call you with
updates.”
Knowing that Grissom was right didn’t make it easier, still he nodded
and walked towards the door. Just as he stepped out of the room, he turned back
and looked at Grissom.
“Thank you.”
Grissom smiled slowly. “You’re his partner and he’s my friend. Nothing
else matters right now.”
---
Eric had no idea how he’d gotten home or how the food had suddenly
appeared in front of him. He ate mechanically and then suddenly was in bed and
staring at his lover. Danny had taken care of everything, had driven him home,
had cooked for him and now he lay on his side watching Eric with both concern
and love in his eyes.
“Tell me about them.”
Danny’s voice was gentle. Eric wanted to ask him what he was talking
about, when Danny reached out and caressed his face and jaw before his hand
settled on his arms. “Tell me about Speed and Marisol.”
The request made him shiver and tense, but Danny’s eyes held no morbid
curiosity instead all Eric saw was a deep need to understand and entwining his
hand with Danny’s he started to talk.
“Speed was my best friend. He’d been with the lab for a couple of years
when I started and he took me under his wing, showed me everything and at the
beginning that was just it, you know. He was like a mentor for me, and then we
had this case, a young boy killed by his mother in a fit of rage. It was too
much for him, and we went out for drinks. We talked and talked and after that
we were friends.”
Remembering hurt, and yet it was good to talk about it, good to let
someone know who Speed had been, what kind of a person he’d hidden beneath the
scruffy exterior.
“You know everyone said that he was cynical, harsh and rude and he was.
But when we were together, he was different, loving and warm...” Eric trailed
off and hesitantly met Danny’s eyes. It couldn’t be easy for Danny hearing Eric
talk about his dead lover, but Danny simply looked at him with love.
“How did you get together?”
Again there was genuine concern and interest in Danny’s voice and Eric
smiled in memories. “We’d gone out to a club and he was dancing with this chick
and I suddenly realized that his moves turned me on. It was such a shock for
me, I mean until then I was sure that I was straight. And you know what I did?”
Danny smiled and looked at his lover. “You grabbed the nearest girl and
snogged her.”
Eric laughed lightly. “Exactly. But you know it didn’t help, the feelings
were still there and then about three weeks later, I watched him from the two
way mirror as he interrogated a suspect and he was just amazing, and I stood
there and stared at him and I knew I was in love... That night I went to his
house and confessed. He pulled me close and kissed me.”
When he closed his eyes, Eric could still remember that first kiss and
it was as bittersweet as always and yet it was different. It didn’t hurt
anymore, the loss of Speed still did, but not the loss of love.
“How did he die?”
“His gun was dirty. We had a case with a missing boy and Speed walked
into a jeweler store. They were in on the kidnapping and when they shot at him
and Horatio, his gun malfunctioned. He died on the scene.” Talking about that
day was painful, but Danny still held him close, his hand caressing Eric’s arm
and the support and silent encouragement made Eric feel stronger than ever.
“I heard the message on the radio. Officer down... I recognized the
address and you know for a moment I prayed that it was Horatio. I still feel
bad about that.”
Danny shook his head. “Don’t, it’s human and from what I’ve heard about
Horatio, he’d probably taken Speed’s place if he could have.”
Eric nodded slowly. “He would have. After Speed’s death, it was like
something had died within H.”
“And you?” Danny’s voice was soft and Eric sighed as he thought back to
those dark, desperate weeks.
“If it wouldn’t have been for Alexx I’d killed myself.”
Danny’s arms tensed around him and Eric felt how his lover froze.
Looking at Danny he saw how Danny’s eyes had closed and as they reopened the
naked fear in them shocked him. Danny swallowed hard before he spoke softly.
“Remind me to send her some flowers one day.”
The soft words touched something in Eric and he shivered as he looked at
Danny. Danny cared about him, he had known that before, but only now seeing the
fear of something that could have happened in the past in Danny’s eyes, only
now Eric realized how much Danny cared.
“It was a dark time, dark weeks, months... But I lived on day by day at
first I tried to forget everything in sex and drinks and then Marisol got sick
and I took care of her.” Remembering his sister was mixed with fond and bitter
memories, but the longer he was away from Miami, the more the fond memories prevailed.
“She was so happy when she met Horatio.” Eric saw Danny smile and
continued. “It was a bit weird a the beginning, my sister dating my boss. But H
has always been more than a boss, you know.”
“I do.” Danny’s quiet words made Eric think of Ed and his never wavering
support of Danny and Eric nodded. “Yeah, you do.”
“Her death was painful, but never as much as Speed’s. I... When I lost
him I thought I couldn’t breathe. I...”
A shiver ran through him and Danny immediately pulled him closer. “Shh...
I’m here, Eric. I won’t go anywhere.”
The words soothed him in a way, he had never thought they could and
feeling safe and loved in Danny’s arms he looked up to meet his partner’s eyes.
He knew it then and reaching out to caress Danny’s face, he smiled. “I love
you.”
--
I love you.
Danny hadn’t known that he was waiting for these words. He had had them
said to him before, but he had never reacted like this time. This time it felt
to him as if time was suspended as he looked in Eric’s eyes and saw them darken
with emotions. Something warm cracked in his heart and for a moment everything
was alright. It didn’t matter that a friend of them was fighting for his life,
it didn’t matter that Eric had just cried for his dead lover, nothing matter,
nothing but Eric.
“And I you.”
A quick smile crossed Eric’s face at Danny’s words before he shook his
head and smiled again. “You what?”
He wanted to hear him say the words. Danny could understand that, he
cupped Eric’s face with his hand and leaned down to capture Eric’s lips. They
were salty from the tears Eric had cried not too long ago and Danny lapped at
the soft skin. “I love you, Eric.”
---
*Chapter 13 – In Between*
*Las Vegas*
“Warrick, there’s someone waiting for you at the
reception.” Warrick frowned a bit and still deep in thoughts about Brass, he
walked towards the reception only to stop as if he had run against a wall.
“I assumed that breakfast was cancelled, so I brought
something over.” Delinda Deline smiled easily and Warrick swallowed hard. She was
beautiful and what was she doing here?
“You what?” As soon as the words were out, he wanted
to take them back, but Delinda didn’t seem to mind instead she tilted her head
and looked at him.
“Hard night, wasn’t it?” Warrick frowned, but before
he could say anything, she continued talking. “Eric came to see Danny, he told
me about your colleague. Have you gotten any news?”
Warrick stared
at the beautiful blonde that casually leaned against the reception counter of
the lab. He could see that she was honestly concerned and with a sigh he shook
his head. “No, he’s still critical and we’re...”
He trailed off when he noticed that his voice was
hoarse and close to breaking. Taking a deep breath, he made a decision and
started to walk towards the door. “I’m off and since I won’t be sleeping much
today, I can go and have a proper coffee.”
Delinda smiled widely and handed the basket with
donuts to the receptionist. “Just hand them out ok?”
Not even noticing how the receptionist stared at her,
she turned around and put her arm around Warrick. “Let’s go for a nice coffee,
handsome.”
---
Delinda could see that Warrick wasn’t really there in
the coffee shop with her. He was distracted and although friendly and charming,
she was sure she hadn’t seen a fraction of the real Warrick’s charm. While she
watched him she asked herself why she had asked him out and came to the same
result as before.
He had sounded like a good guy when they had spoken,
like a good, honest guy and most of all like a man who didn’t take shit, like a
man who didn’t care what other thought about him... Her thoughts trailed off
and she stared at Warrick for a moment.
“Delinda, something wrong?” Despite his own
distraction, Warrick had noticed how her mind had started to wander and she
smiled.
“Nothing, only that I realized how many of the men I
dated are actually carbon copies of my dad.”
Warrick stared at her and she could see that he wasn’t
sure what to answer for a moment then though he shook his head and laughed.
“Ok, are you really comparing me to Ed Deline?”
She smiled at his reaction, but remained honest and
nodded. Warrick reached out and took both of her hands while his green eyes
bore into hers. “Honey, I can promise you one thing... Whether you’re going to
date me or not, I’m nothing like your father.”
Delinda was falling, she realized, falling into green
eyes that glowed with determination, admiration and lazy amusement. The spark
that she had felt when they had talked on the phone was suddenly there again
and she held his eyes for a moment longer before she smiled.
“Well, then we’re good aren’t we?”
Warrick smiled, but didn’t release her hands. “No,
Delinda we’re great.”
The cheesy comment made her smile, but as soon as the
flirt had started it was over again and concern entered Warrick’s eyes. Delinda
knew that it wasn’t concern for her, but for Warrick’s colleague who was
fighting for his life in the hospital. Gently she pressed his hands.
“Do you want to go to see him?”
He looked at her surprised and shook his head. “Grissom
said that he’d call us. There’s no need...”
He trailed off and Delinda shook her head. Men, she
thought fondly, they were all the same. “Maybe there’s no need, but it would
make you feel better, wouldn’t it?”
Seeing that Warrick wasn’t answering, Delinda got up
and put some money on the table. “Come on I’ll drive you over.”
He followed her without words, but just as they got to
her car, he stopped her. “You’d have made a damn good profiler, Delinda.”
She laughed and shook her head. “I run a club, Warrick,
isn’t that the same?”
---
*Los Angeles*
God her head hurt. Calleigh groaned before she even
opened her eyes. The bed was spinning and she cautiously put one foot on the
floor to stop the maddening movement. What the hell had been in those drinks?
“Morning.” The voice resonated through her head like a
brass band and she groaned again. Then though the fact that her picture and her
cat couldn’t speak filtered through her muddy brain and she cracked an eye
open. Agent Sinclair stood in the door and smiled at her. Calleigh frowned,
closed her eyes again and shook her head, but when she looked a second time the
hallucination still stood there.
“You’re real?” Ok, it wasn’t the most sensible
question, but what the hell was he doing in her apartment?
The last thought brought her up cold. Her apartment?
She opened her eyes again and noticed for the first time that she wasn’t in her
apartment. Tensing she fought down the nausea and slowly sat up.
“Where am I?”
Sinclair came closer and she noticed that his smile
had disappeared. He sat down next to the bed and handed her a bottle of water.
“You don’t remember, do you?”
Remember what? Slowly panic started to grow and
suddenly feeling vulnerable she clutched the blanket to her body. What had
happened? Calleigh shuddered, but some of her fears died down when she noticed
that she was dressed under the blanket and that her body didn’t ache anymore
than after a normal hangover. Only why couldn’t she remember?
“I remember the bar, remember drinking and having fun with
your team, but then...” Frowning she looked at Sinclair and a memory flashed
through her mind.
Sinclair was
laughing at something she said and shaking his head he looked at her. “Can you
bring yourself to call me ‘David’? Cause if you keep calling me Sinclair, I
have to call you Duquesne and I couldn’t pronounce your name to save my life.”
“We
had fun together.” Sinclair or no David smiled at her comment, but then he
turned serious again.
“When
we were about to leave, you suddenly said that you felt sick and you couldn’t
really walk anymore. You hadn’t had that much to drink, and I...” David trailed
off and shrugged. “I just had a bad feeling. There had been this one guy who’d
paid a bit too much attention to you.”
Another
flash of memory resurfaced.
She was once again glad that she hadn’t become
a career waitress, cause she really wasn’t good in carrying more than two
glasses. Delicately balancing the drinks she moved through the crowd when a
hand stopped her. “Hey beautiful, not so fast. You haven’t even said hi to me.”
A blond man smiled at her and Calleigh saw how
his eyes slithered over her body. Smiling coldly she moved so that her weapon
and her badge were visible. “I don’t think I will, Mister.”
The man moved back but as she walked to her group
she could still feel his eyes on her.
“A blond
guy, he talked to me when I got drinks.” Slowly her head had started to clear
and she began to understand. “You think he spiked my drink.”
David
nodded slowly. “He was still there when we left and he kept throwing glances at
you all night. Then when I took you home he was outside as if he was waiting
for something or someone.”
Horror
at what had nearly happened swept through Calleigh and she shuddered. David
soothingly put a hand on her shoulder. “Nothing happened, I just took you home
and in bed.”
Realizing
that he had misunderstood her reaction, she smiled at him. “I know, David, but
without you. God I could have...”
The
thought made her stomach turn and she frantically got out of bed. David seemed to
read her mind because he pointed towards the door. “Second door on the left.”
And
then she was heaving over the toilet and shaking with reaction to the close
escape she had had. Only slowly she realized that she was shivering on the
floor and that warm, strong arms were around her. Looking up she met David’s
concerned eyes and smiled faintly. “Sorry for that.”
“It’s ok, you made it to the bathroom.” David’s
deadpan comment made her feel better, but then he looked serious again. “You
need to go to the hospital and do a blood test.”
As much as she hated it, she knew that he was right
and nodding slowly she got up. “You mind if I take a shower before I leave?”
David frowned. “Of course not, but I won’t let you
drive ok? Not as long as the drug’s still in your system.”
Again he was right and as Calleigh stood under the
shower trying wash away the non existing memories of last night, she decided
that she had to amend her opinion of Agent David Sinclair.
---
“She got what?” Don was just walking out of the
elevator when he heard Megan’s exclamation. Immediately he sped up and was
faced with three angry team members.
“Ok, what happened?” Megan growled and Don was
seriously contemplating about seeking cover when she calmed down enough to
start explaining. “Calleigh got drugged in the bar last night.”
“What?” Don tensed and immediately looked at his team
members. “Is she ok?”
David nodded and explained how he had realized that
something was wrong and had subsequently taken Calleigh home. “She’s at the
station now giving her statement.”
Don could see that David was shaken by what happened
and one look at Megan confirmed that she had the same thought as he had, namely
that David was far more concerned then as just as a colleague.
“Well, then go down and give yours too. She won’t
remember much, will she?”
David hesitated and looked at Don. “Can’t we work
this?”
“Not our jurisdiction, sorry.” He understood David,
but at the same time he knew that the LAPD would take the attack on Calleigh
just as serious as his team would. Megan frowned and tilted her head sideways
as if to argue Don’s point, but he forestalled her by shaking his head.
“And apart from that we’ve got a new case, so let’s
hit the road.”
They all started to grab their gear and Don shook his
head. “Not you, David, you better go down to the station and give your
statement.”
David shot him a look of gratitude and left quickly.
Megan’s eyes followed him and she grinned at Don. “You old romantic, you.”
He shrugged and smiled. “Can’t hurt having good
connections to the crime lab, can it?”
Megan laughed, but Don’s smile was forced as he
suddenly remembered that he’d wanted to call Grissom yesterday. He liked
talking to the other man, liked the different perspective that talking with
Grissom gave him. Still he’d forgotten after getting home from the drinks. Don
sighed and decided to call Grissom tonight when he glanced at his watch.
9 am. Don smiled looking forward to the call and
silently wondered what Grissom was doing right now.
---
*Las Vegas*
“Conrad?” The voice was familiar, the hand on his
shoulder wasn’t and it was that unfamiliar touch that made Conrad open his eyes
and tense. Grissom was standing next to him. He looked haggard, but Conrad was
sure that he didn’t look much better. Getting up he stretched his sore muscles
and looked at the other man. They had spent the night in the uncomfortable
chairs in the hospital waiting room and to Conrad’s surprise they had even
found things to talk about.
“He’s out of surgery.” Grissom spoke quietly as if he
didn’t dare trusting those words and Conrad looked at him with hope slowly
waking in him.
“How did it go?” This time Grissom smiled at his
question and the hope Conrad felt just got stronger. “Apparently well, they
said we can go and see him. We have ten minutes.”
Everything in Conrad pulled him towards Jim, he needed
to see his lover and be sure that Jim was still here, that he hadn’t left him. Grissom
walked towards the door without any further words and Conrad forced his legs to
move and follow Grissom.
Conrad had tried to mentally prepare himself for the
sight of Jim, but as he walked towards the ICU where Jim still was lying, he
suddenly realized that every part of him wanted to run away. His steps faltered
and he slowed down, every instinct of him telling him to turn around and leave.
Just in time Grissom turned around and looked at him. “You coming?”
Swallowing hard, Conrad nodded. And then they were
standing in front of the room and Conrad could see Jim through the window and
everything stopped. Jim was so still, so uncharacteristically quiet and Conrad
trembled and shivered. He had not been prepared for
the pain that shot directly to his heart at seeing his lover hooked to all the
machines, had not been prepared to feel himself starting to pray silently for
Jim to be saved. Holding onto the wall as if they were a lifeline, he kept his
eyes on the monitors that indicated that there was still life in Jim.
"Mr. Grissom? Mr.
Ecklie?"
Conrad looked up surprised
and shook his head at himself. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't
heard the nurse walk up next to him. A shiver went through him and he had to
force himself to smile at her.
"You can go and see him
now; would you please put on those items?"
She handed them a bag of
sterile green clothes and Conrad followed her to the changing room. As soon as
she left him and Grissom alone, he sat down shakily. He hadn't heard her, she
hadn't crept up to him, hadn't tried to conceal her approach and still he
hadn't realized that she was there until she had spoken. He looked at his hands
and saw that they were shaking.
“Conrad, you ok?” Grissom
had already dressed himself in the scrubs and now looked at him concerned.
Seeing the honesty in Grissom’s eyes Conrad shook his head.
“I’m scared to see him.” His
words made him sound like a complete coward and he winced at the same time as
he spoke them, Grissom though didn’t comment on them. He simply waited for
Conrad to get dressed and then followed him to Jim’s room. Once there Grissom
looked at him again.
“I’ll join you soon, ok?”
Swallowing hard, Conrad nodded instead of an answer and steeling himself he
walked into the room.
---
Grissom had never thought
that he would one day envy Conrad Ecklie. And in a way it was insane to be
jealous of Ecklie’s grief and pain, insane to wish that someone would ever care
so much for him, insane to wish he would ever allow himself to feel so much for
someone...
He stopped the train of
thought and silently observed as Ecklie leaned over Brass and caressed Brass’
face gently. He spoke with Brass and held the lifeless hand, caressed the pale
face and the dark hair.
‘You need to pull through
this, Jim. I cannot lose you.’ Grissom read the words from Ecklie’s lips
without even thinking about what he was doing. He was transfixed by the sight
of his nemesis sitting next to his friend lovingly holding Brass’ hand.
‘We got a second chance,
love, don’t pull away from this now. Please, I need you to wake up. I miss
you.’
There was so much tenderness
in the words and Ecklie’s expression that Grissom shivered and finally
realizing what he had done, he averted his eyes and gave them some privacy. He
lost himself in his mind until he realized that their time was running out and
getting up, he quietly knocked at the door. He saw how Ecklie looked up and
came over to open the door.
“Thanks, Gil.” Ecklie’s
voice was soft as he walked out of the room and when their eyes met Grissom
understood that their relationship had forever changed.
---
*Los Angeles*
Megan stared at the phone
and debated with herself. Part of her wanted to call this Delko guy that
Calleigh had spoken of, but another part of her called herself a coward. Talking to
so-called intellectuals always intimidated her although she didn’t know why.
Cursing herself, she looked at the phone in her hand.
“You ok?” Colby looked at her and she could see his
grin. “Cursing at your phone is not fair, it can’t curse back, you know.”
“I need to call the university in Miami, but I hate
talking to those big heads...” Colby frowned and shook his head in confusion.
“You talked with CEOs of multinational companies and you faced down serial
killers, what’s so scary about some random professor?”
Shrugging, Megan found no reply to Colby’s question,
but before she could answer he smiled at her. “Why don’t you ask Charlie?”
She thought about it for a
moment and then gave in. “You think he wouldn’t mind?”
Colby shrugged. “I’ll ask
him later ok?”
The easy answer was too
interesting to let go and Megan leaped at the morsel of information. “Later?”
Some part of her had hoped
to get a reaction out of Colby, but to her surprise he remained calm and
controlled. The perfect mask if it hadn’t been for the sudden lighting up of
his eyes and the slight awe in his voice whenever he spoke of Charlie.
“We’ll meet at the gym
tonight.” Another fond smile crossed Colby’s face before he continued. “You
remember how he bought a membership after a case? Well, turns out he’s never
gone to the gym, cause he feels awkward there. So I asked him a while ago, if
he wanted me to show him some stuff. He joined me for a couple of times, but
then cases piled up and everything, so I didn’t make it to the gym which isn’t
mine anyway, so last week I met him and asked and you know what he told me?
He’s going theoretically.”
Colby’s eyes had started to
shine when he talked about Charlie, but as Don walked up next to them, he
trailed off and averted his eyes. Megan frowned a little, but refrained from
asking in front of Don. Instead she simply smiled at Colby.
“So could you ask him, if he
makes the call?”
Colby nodded and then turned
towards Don. “You coming too tonight?”
Don shook his head. “No, I’m
meeting Coop.”
“He’s here again?” David
interrupted their talk and Megan watched how the talk shifted from Colby and
Don to Don and David and she smiled as she saw how Colby’s tense shoulders
slowly relaxed. He wasn’t comfortable talking about Charlie with Don, she
realized, but at the same time she shook her head, of course he wasn’t. Who
would be if he was fancying the genius brother of one’s straight as an arrow
boss?
---
*Las Vegas*
“Eric?” Danny’s voice
filtered through Eric’s dreams and slowly he fought his way back to wakefulness
and opened his eyes. Danny smiled at him with and handed him a cup of coffee.
“Grissom called. The
operation went well, and although Brass’s still critical, they expect him to
make a full recovery over time.”
It took a second for the
words to register in his mind, but when they did, Eric woke immediately. He
looked at Danny and saw the relief in his lover’s eyes. For a second, Eric felt
the room spin around him and he closed his eyes, then he felt Danny’s hand on
his face. “You ok?”
Smiling at Danny he nodded. “Yeah, just glad that he’s
going to make it.”
“You wanna go to the hospital?” Danny’s question
surprised him and he frowned. “Don’t you have to go to work?”
Danny smiled and shook his head. “I called Ed and told
him that I needed time off.”
Relief at the thought of not having to go to the
hospital alone surged through Eric before something like gloom woke too. “I’ll
need to work though.”
He felt almost as if he was letting his partner down,
Danny though shook his head and smiled. “I’m meeting Mary later, I need to tell
her.”
Seeing the anticipation in Danny’s eyes, Eric moved
over and pulled his partner close. He understood Danny’s fear and remembered
only too well, how scared he had been when he’d finally told Calleigh. And yet,
he also remembered how wonderful it had been to find her nothing but accepting
and supporting and with a soft smile he looked at Danny.
“I’ll think of you, ok? And if you don’t want to tell
her, then it’s ok with me too. I didn’t actually plan to tell my team
everything immediately. It just happened...” That was the complete truth, Eric
thought. He really had wanted to tell them in person, but somehow he assumed
that after his appearance in the hospital, everybody knew about him and Danny.
He was glad though, that he had been able to tell Greg before and that Warrick
had kind of known it anyway. So at least his two best friends had known.
“I want to tell her, cause I want you to meet her.
She’s the closest I have to a family and I really...” Danny trailed off and
blushed which made Eric smile.
“I’d love to meet the family.”
Danny blushed even more and turned away with a
muttered curse. Eric though simply laughed happy. “Let’s go and visit Brass and
then I’ll need to go in.”
---
Greg looked up when Warrick
walked into the lab with a wide grin. “You heard about Brass?”
Nodding at Warrick’s comment,
Greg smiled relieved and then tilted his head. “I did and I also heard about
your visit yesterday morning. Delinda Deline? You dog, you...”
To Greg’s surprise, Warrick
blushed a bit and shook his head. “There’s nothing between us, ok? We’re just
friends.”
“Yeah, sure.” Greg had way
too much fun with this, but he didn’t care. It felt too good to tease his
friend and be happy after the angst-filled hours. “You’re just friends with one
of the hottest women in town… Sure and I’m just a lab rat.”
Warrick grinned and looked
around. “Well, technically...”
Greg didn’t let him go there
and simply clasped Warrick’s shoulder. “Hey, I’m happy for you.”
He saw how Warrick shrugged
and waited for a moment, before he grinned at Warrick. “Does that mean we’ll
get free entrance in Mystique?”
Warrick groaned. “Honestly,
we’re not... Not with all that happened with Brass and all...”
That he could actually
understand, Greg thought and he nodded. “Well, you know what they say. Delayed
is not cancelled.”
Warrick simply rolled his eyes and left the lab and
Greg smiled happily. He hadn’t slept much in the last three days, but
surprisingly he still felt awake and regenerated by the news that Brass was
going to get well. They hadn’t gotten any new cases yet and he was working on
some reports that he needed to finish. For the first time in a long, long time
he had time to really read through the reports again and to correct some errors
that he’d made. Greg smiled proudly as he sent them off. Grissom would be proud
of him.
The thought made him pause and his good mood vanished.
Grissom.
Greg hadn’t seen his boss since Brass had been shot.
Grissom had been at the hospital and when Greg had been over to visit Brass, he
had been told that Grissom had gone home to catch at least a couple hours
sleep. Greg had been at once relieved and saddened, but most of all he had been
confused. Confused by the sadness he’d felt when he thought of Grissom alone in
his home, confused by the urge to go and see the other man, but most of all confused
at the envy he’d felt when Sara had told him that Catherine had been the one to
drive Grissom home.
“Ugh… Stop it Greg, just stop it.”
“Talking to yourself again? You know what they say
about that and insanity...” Greg turned around at the voice and saw how Hodges
stood in the door and smirked. Greg sighed and rolled his eyes in annoyance.
“What do you want Hodges?” Hodges grinned again and
walked completely into the room. “Can’t I just come and talk to you?”
Knowing Hodges, Greg doubted that the other man ever
did anything without an ulterior motive. He narrowed his eyes and looked at
Hodges again. “No you can’t, so what do you want?”
“Greg, we have a 419 down at the strip, you’re with
me.” Grissom’s voice interrupted the staring contest between Greg and Hodges.
Greg suddenly felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room as he
looked up and met Grissom’s eyes. There was an unreadable expression in his
boss’ blue eyes, still Greg knew that there was only one answer.
“Sure, just let me get my kit.”
Grissom didn’t respond and without another word, he
walked away and Greg smiled. Grissom didn’t even look if Greg followed him, as
if he knew that he would. And of course his boss was right.
---
Greg was the impersonation of everything Gil had once
wanted to be. Funny, funky and yet a scientist. When Gil had been younger he’d
tried to be more in touch with the real world, but in the end he had realized
that some people were not meant to be part of the party, some people were
destined to watch and observe. The observation hadn’t even hurt, Gil mused as
he stood silently in the corner and watched Greg work. It hadn’t hurt because
he had felt as if he had understood something, had understood where his place
was and yet there had been moments when he’d wished to be more outgoing.
He wasn’t a people person. It was indicative of his
social skills that his only close friend was a former co-worker and that this
friendship had only blossomed after that co-worker had moved to the other side
of the country. Gil sighed as he suddenly remembered Greg’s question.
“Are you in love
with Nick?”
Maybe it looked like it, he thought, maybe his
protectiveness and his friendship with Nick could be misinterpreted, but no, he
wasn’t in love with Nick.
Greg however... Gil smiled sadly as he watched Greg
banter with Warrick. He was tired of pushing all his thoughts of Greg away,
tired of watching him smile and flirt with other people and as Greg stepped
closer to Warrick and touched his shoulder, Gill tensed. Out of the blue a wave
of possessiveness flowed through him, Greg was his, his to touch, to caress and
to punish. His and his alone. Without realizing it, Gil walked over towards the
lab when rational thinking set in again and he stopped as if he had run against
a wall.
Greg wasn’t his, and no matter how often he dreamt
about it, he would never be.
“Talking to yourself again? You know what they say
about that and insanity...”
Hodges’ voice interrupted his musings and Gil smiled
lightly as he saw how Greg rolled his eyes. He knew that Greg and Hodges got a
long well, and that their bantering was good humored. He was about to turn
around when his phone rang. A dead body had been found and with a dark smile he
walked towards Greg. He finally had found a reason to talk to Greg even though
it wasn’t the talk he wanted to have.
“Greg, we have a 419 down at the strip, you’re with
me.” Greg looked up and his eyes were large and for a moment Gil saw a myriad
of emotions run through them, before Greg nodded.
“Sure, just let me get my kit.”
Gil’s eyes followed Greg until he disappeared and only
then he reached for his phone again and dialed a number. It was time to
schedule a visit at Lady Heather’s.
---
When Jim opened his eyes the world was dulled and
blurry. He could hear some noise, but it seemed to come from far away and he
couldn’t decide whether he was simply imagining things or whether he really
heard someone speak. He recognized the typical scent of hospitals and slowly
his memories returned. Willie Cutler’s cold eyes, the cruel smile and then the
pain as the bullets had hit him...
Jim closed his eyes again as the light started to
hurt. Somehow it was almost a surprise that he had survived. He hadn’t thought
he would make it, Jim thought as he waited for the pain to return. When it
didn’t he assumed that it was the drugs they gave him and once again he opened
his eyes and this time he saw more and the blurry images became clear.
He was indeed in a hospital bed and from the look and
sounds of it he was still in ICU. Monitors were quietly beeping and Jim noticed
the injection in his right hand. So he was still on pain medication. He nodded
and tried to swallow only to find that he couldn’t. His throat was dry and hurt
and he coughed slightly.
“Jim?”
The one word was spoken quietly and so full of fear
that it hit Jim right in his heart. He knew that voice, he thought and as he
turned his head he met Conrad’s eyes. His lover was pale and looked drawn, but
at the same time his eyes were full of hope and love. Jim wanted to be able to
speak, wanted to comfort Conrad, but before he could even try to speak, Conrad
shook his head.
“Let me get some ice for you. You’ve been out of a
while...” Conrad trailed off and handed Jim a glass with ice chips. The relief
was immediate and Jim sighed before he looked at Conrad again and once more
noted how tired his partner was.
“How long?”
Conrad frowned but then understood and sighed. “Four
days.”
Four days, Jim thought, four days since he had walked
into a trap, four days which had to have felt like an eternity for Conrad and
as Jim tentatively reached out to caress Conrad’s face, his lover shivered. “I
thought I’d lost you.”
“I’m here.” Conrad’s eyes met and held his and Jim saw
the moment, Conrad broke down. He was prepared for it though and held onto his
partner while Conrad shivered and cried in his arms. He still felt a bit dizzy,
and it would be a long time until he would be able to strap on his gun and walk
out to do his job, and yet for once Jim didn’t care. He had survived against
all odds and right now that was all that mattered.
---
*Chapter 14 – Confrontations*
*Las Vegas*
“Gil, do you have a moment?” Grissom wasn’t surprised
to see Ecklie stand in his office. What surprised him though was the bottle of
wine in Ecklie’s hand.
“What can I do for you, Conrad?” Ecklie smiled a
little at Grissom’s words, stepped completely into the office and closed the
door. Grissom frowned for a second, wondering if he had missed some urgent
paperwork or if any of his team had misbehaved, then dismissed the thought as
he looked into Ecklie’s eyes.
“I just wanted to thank you. You had every right to
kick me out of the hospital, and I’ve given you sufficient cause over the
years... You’re a good man, Gil and I wanted to say thanks.” He put the wine
down on the desk and smiled. “Jim said that you enjoy a good Rioja every once
in a while.”
Ecklie’s words left Grissom speechless and for a long
time he simply stared at the wine. Once again he felt as if he had walked into
a twilight zone where suddenly every one was far too human and social for his
comfort. Almost helplessly, Grissom smiled.
“So, does this mean that you won’t hound me and my
team anymore?” Ecklie seemed to be taken aback at the question, but after a
moment of consideration, he smiled.
“I’ll still hound you for your reports and paperwork,
and you know that I have to. Everything else...” Ecklie trailed off and
suddenly fixed Grissom with a direct look. “I think you know that I stopped
working against you on the day that Nick was abducted.”
The words made Grissom look at Ecklie and thinking
back to the last couple of months, he realized that the other man was right.
Grissom nodded and smiled. “Then we’re even, I guess.”
Ecklie swallowed hard and averted his eyes as he addressed
Grissom again. “I have a favor to ask from you. And please listen to me, before
you object, ok?”
Suspicious Grissom nodded, but his mind was racing as
to what Ecklie could want from him. He expected anything from accepting a new
team member to another split of his team, but Ecklie’s next words took him by
surprise.
“I wanted to ask you to keep your knowledge about me
and Jim a secret. It’s not because of me, but Jim’s a cop and I...” Ecklie
trailed off and Grissom saw a glimpse of fear in the blue eyes before the blank
mask was in place again and Ecklie continued. “I have no idea how the squad
would react if Jim were outed.”
The thought alone made Grissom shiver, but at the same
time he was shocked that Ecklie had such a low opinion of him. “Do you really
think I would out one of my best friends just to get revenge?”
He was angry, but before he could say anything else,
Ecklie spoke again. “Try seeing it from my perspective, Gil. I know what I’ve
done, I know how I’ve treated you over the years and that some of my actions
were only driven by jealousy and competitiveness. Now you have the perfect tool
to get the upper hand...”
It made sense, Grissom thought, if one saw it from
Ecklie’s perspective, but Grissom didn’t think like this, he didn’t want the
upper hand and looking at Ecklie he smiled thinly. “We’ll never be friends
Conrad, but I’d never do this to you or Jim. You have my word.”
Ecklie’s relief was almost tangible and he nodded
curtly. “Thanks Gil.”
Grissom watched as Ecklie left his office before he
sat down in his chair. Jim was feeling better and soon enough would be moved
from the ICU, business as usual had returned to the lab and now it seemed as if
even his feud with Ecklie was over. So why didn’t he feel happier? Why did he
still feel as if he was missing something important?
Sighing a little, Grissom picked up the letter he had
received. Nick had written him about Stella and what had happened to her and
somehow her fate had shaken Grissom more than he had expected. For a moment he
hesitated and looked at his watch, then he reached for this phone and dialed a
familiar number.
---
*New York*
“Grissom, hey it’s good to hear from you.” Nick was
surprised to get a call from Gil. His friend didn’t normally call without
having sent a text message or an email in advance. Their different working
schedules and the additional time difference between New York and Las Vegas
made it necessary that even a casual phone call was planned meticulously.
“Nick, I just got your letter. How is Stella doing?”
Gil sounded anxious and it took a second for Nick to understand where Gil had
met Stella. Then he remembered that his friend had met her in Washington when
Stella and Hawkes had flown in to help Tony.
“She’s doing better, but it will take a while for her
to heal. It was a traumatizing experience.” His heart ached for Stella and he
wondered once more if he was doing enough to help her through. “She’s staying
with us right now. Do you want to speak to her?”
Nick wasn’t sure if Stella was already awake, but
before he could ask Don to check on her she walked into his kitchen. Having
heard his last sentence she frowned and looked at him. Nick smiled and mouthed
the word ‘Grissom’. Stella smiled surprised.
“Is she already awake?” Gil sounded tentative and Nick
smiled knowing only too well, that Gil wasn’t good with people especially if he
had to comfort them. And yet, he had called to find out how Stella was. “She’s
awake and standing right next to me.”
“Well, then I almost have to talk to her, don’t I?” There
was a certain sarcasm in Gil’s voice that made Nick grin, but he didn’t answer
instead simply handed his phone to Stella. She took it and left the kitchen to
have some privacy just as Don came inside.
“Phone call this early? Must be Vegas.” Nick smiled at
the grumbled words and handed his lover a cup of coffee before he leaned over
and kissed him gently. “Grissom called to ask about Stella.”
Don nodded, but didn’t ask anything else, instead he
sat at the table and stared in his coffee. Nick grinned at his grumpy partner
and handed him a bowl and some cereals. When Don didn’t react he poured some
cereals and milk into the bowl and pushed it in front of Don. “You ok?”
This time he got a reaction and Don glowered at him.
“You’re the one to ask. Who kept me up all night because he wanted to watch
this new series?”
Shrugging Nick grabbed his own breakfast. “You’ve got
to admit, Captain Jack is hot.”
Don rolled his eyes and didn’t comment on it. They ate
in a comfortable although somehow tired silence when Stella walked back in. She
looked at once shaken and happy and smiled at Nick. “He doesn’t talk to people
very often, does he?”
Nick grinned and shrugged. “Well he does, but then he
usually talks about evidence. Why?”
Stella grinned back. “Because he asked me how I was
and then just didn’t know what to say. So we ended up talking about an article
in the forensic journal.”
Nick laughed. “Sounds like Grissom.”
---
*Los Angeles*
“This isn’t the way to the gym.” Charlie sounded more
confused than scared and Colby smiled lightly before he answered. “No it
isn’t.”
When he didn’t say anything else, Charlie huffed and looked
at him. “So where are we going? What are you planning?”
“Working out somewhere else.” Colby enjoyed riling
Charlie up and the frown that immediately appeared on Charlie’s face made him
grin.
“Where are we going?” Now Charlie used his best stern
professor voice which unfortunately was nothing compared to the stern voices
his instructors had had. Colby grinned and stopped the car.
“We’re here.” Charlie looked at him and frowned.
“We’re in a park.”
Sometimes Colby simply wanted to hug Charlie,
especially when he looked as confused and yet outraged as he did now. But he
had learned to suppress his desires for a long time and with a smile he pointed
at the wide open area of grass. “Plenty of space to get fit.”
“A park.” Charlie shook his head and frowned. “You
know if I wanted to throw a Frisbee, I would have asked Larry or challenged
Don. I thought...”
Colby smiled as Charlie trailed off. “You thought?”
“I thought we’re going to work out and not have a walk
in the park.” Charlie sounded like a petulant six year old and Colby had to
hide his grin at the thought. Instead he shrugged easily. “We’ll work out,
Charlie, I just thought that it’s a too nice day to be indoors. Still if you
want to go to the gym...”
Colby trailed off when Charlie put his hand on his
arm. The innocent touch made him tremble and Colby mentally scolded himself for
acting like a teenager. Why couldn’t he have a crush on Calleigh, like David
did? Why did it have to be Charlie? He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he
missed the look Charlie sent him and was unprepared when Charlie suddenly spoke
again.
“I’m an ungrateful brat, aren’t I?” Charlie looked sad
and shook his head. “You’re spending all this time and effort and all I do is
complain...”
Surprised at how his musings had been interpreted,
Colby shook his head. “Charlie, I know you well enough by now to know that
you’re getting grumpy if you don’t understand something. So I’ll explain.”
He showed Charlie the exercises that he’d planned when
he’d come up with the idea of skipping the gym and show Charlie what a real
outdoors work out really was. Charlie followed his guidance and soon they were
both sweaty and panting. Colby watched carefully while Charlie went through
another cycle of leg exercises, he knew Charlie was getting tired and that this
was the exact moment when mistakes happened. Yet nothing prepared him for the
sudden flare of lust when Charlie groaned a little before he did the last set
of launches.
There was something feral in that groan, something
primal and it resonated deep inside Colby. For over a year he had been admiring
Charlie from afar, and had never dared to do anything about it. But right now
all his good intentions were washed away at the sight of Charlie stretching
upwards. His T-Shirt rode up too and just a little fleck of skin was showing
and all Colby could do was keep himself from reaching out.
“Done aren’t we?” Charlie’s words filtered through his
mind, but Colby had lost his voice and Charlie turned towards him with a frown.
“Or is there more?”
Slowly Colby came back to reality and he shook his
head. “Maybe we can do another set.”
Charlie shook his head. “I’m beat, can’t move anymore.”
Seeing that they had been working out for almost two
hours, Colby nodded before his heart gave another lurch when Charlie suddenly
grinned. “But you said, if I work out nicely, you’d stretch me.”
Oh god... The innuendo in the innocent words... Colby
shivered at the thought of some of the places he’d have to touch Charlie if he
was to properly stretch the muscles they’d worked out. He swallowed hard when
his eyes suddenly met Charlie’s. They were deep and dark and full of desire.
“You were my incentive in that last set.”
---
God it sounded like the lamest come on that he’d ever
heard. Charlie wanted to slap himself, but then his eyes met Colby’s and for a
moment it was as if all of Colby’s desires were laid bare in front of Charlie.
Charlie swallowed hard at the passion that burned in the blue eyes and almost
instinctively he swayed towards Colby.
“Charlie” Colby’s voice was hoarse and Charlie’s body
reacted immediately to it. He groaned as Colby moved closer and slowly put his
hands on Charlie’s shoulders. “Don’t play with me.”
The words were growled but Charlie heard the fear
underneath the threat and turning around so that he faced Colby he shook his
head. “I’m not.”
He had been working out for over two hours, but his
heart had never accelerated like it did now. Colby’s hand moved from Charlie’s
shoulders to his neck and Charlie’s breath caught as one hand slowly began to
trace his jaw-line. Colby’s eyes were fixed on him and there was a look of
wonder in his eyes as he now moved closer towards Charlie, almost touching him
with his body.
Charlie shuddered at the heat that Colby’s body gave
off. He wanted to lean forward and be engulfed in that heat, but he was
mesmerized under the soft touches and the gentle eyes.
“You have no idea what you’re doing to me, have you?”
Colby’s murmured words made Charlie break his gaze. He
had no idea what to answer. The entire situation was so unlike anything he’d
ever expected or planned that he felt exposed and vulnerable. Colby’s hand
moved back to Charlie’s neck and slowly pulled him closer. Charlie let himself
be handled and then Colby’s lips were on his.
They were soft, tender and it seemed as if Colby was
silently asking for permission. Charlie didn’t even think before he moved
closer and soon was pressed close to Colby. The kiss was still tender, but it
was enough to make Charlie’s heart beat faster. This kiss was so different than
any kisses he’d shared before. This was no insecure boy that was kissing him
and no woman who expected him to lead. Colby was taller and broader than
Charlie and for the first time in his life, Charlie realized that a kiss could
be so much more than a touch of lips and tongue. He closed his eyes and let
those soft lips take him to another place.
“Charlie?” Colby spoke close to his lips and Charlie
shivered as he felt the words as much as he heard them. “Charlie, we should get
somewhere less public.”
It took a moment for Charlie to come back to reality
and he blushed as it dawned him that he’d just shared a passionate kiss with a
man in the middle of a public park.
“Charlie, you ok?” Colby sounded concerned and as
Charlie looked at him, he saw both guilt and insecurity in Colby’s blue eyes.
He smiled and reached out to caress Colby’s face.
“Never been better.”
But god, how he hated the fact that they had decided
to work out in the morning.
---
Colby was tense as he drove back to Charlie’s place.
He wasn’t sure what to say, wasn’t even sure if he should say anything. All he
knew was that the kiss they had shared had shaken him to his core.
“Colby?” Charlie sounded tentative and as Colby looked
up, he saw the same questions and insecurities that he felt mirrored in
Charlie’s eyes. “Could you drive me to CalSci? We worked out longer than I
thought and I have an appointment with Millie.”
Colby felt as if a bucket of cold water had been
emptied over his head and he swallowed hard before he managed to answer. “Sure,
I’ll just... Sure I can do that.”
Charlie’s hand on his tight made him almost lose
control over the car and he stared at his friend. “Jesus, Charlie don’t do
this. That’s freaking dangerous.”
“Sorry.” Charlie’s words were merely mumbled, but he
recovered quickly and looked at Colby.
“I’m not trying to avoid you.” A blush now covered his
face and Colby wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss him.
Unfortunately the red light turned green and the chance was lost when Charlie
continued. “We... we have to talk, but I have this appointment and you have to
go to work and I... I can’t...”
Seeing that Charlie was serious, Colby relaxed enough
to reach out and grab Charlie’s hand. “It’s ok, Charlie. What would you say as
to me picking you up tonight? We could go somewhere for dinner and talk.”
Charlie looked relieved and nodded. “Yeah, dinner and
talk. Sounds great.”
---
*Las Vegas*
“You know that you’re not off the hook yet, do you?”
Eric frowned as Warrick smirked at him over the lab table. They were examining
the clothes of a man found dead in an alley without an ID or any visible cause
of death. It was a painstaking exercise and Eric already guessed that this case
would not be closed or at least not soon. Warrick’s words had pulled him away
from his concentration and Eric simply didn’t understand what his friend was
getting at.
“Off the hook for what?”
Warrick shook his head and smirked again. “You’re
smart, I got to give you that but presenting your boyfriend in a hospital
doesn’t count. He’s got to pass the Warrick Brown test and he hasn’t done that
yet.”
Understanding dawned and Eric laughed. “What are you,
my dad?”
Warrick leered at him and shook his head. “No, but
since I doubt that you’re going to introduce him to your father in the next
couple of days, I’ll do his job.”
Eric shivered slightly at the thought of introducing
Danny to his family. His parents didn’t even know that he liked men and women. One
day he would have to tell them, he knew and he had been very close when he’d
been with Speed, but then his lover had been killed and everything had seemed
senseless. Eric shook his head to push the disturbing thoughts away and smiled
at Warrick.
“You’re not going to do anything.” Warrick simply
smiled and Eric couldn’t help but grin back. He knew his friend well enough to
know that he wouldn’t give up and on the other hand, Eric had been grilled by Ed
Deline. Warrick still stared at him and Eric sighed dramatically. “Ok, you win,
but I’ll be there too.”
Warrick clasped his shoulder and his grin turned
slightly evil. “Don’t worry, I won’t scare him too much. Just a little bit...”
Oh god, Eric thought silently, what had he just done?
He would have to warn Danny later.
---
“Mary, can we talk for a moment?” Danny inwardly
cringed at his words and even more at the hesitant tone he spoke them in. Mary
knew him too well, she would know that something was up and promptly, she
looked at him and frowned.
“Is something wrong?” The honest concern in her eyes
made Danny’s heart ache and he sighed before he shook his head and sat down at
one of the more private tables.
“Nothing wrong, but I just... I just wanted to tell
you something.” He trailed off and saw her eyes darken even more. He knew that
he had to talk to her and finally gathering his courage, he started again. “I’m
seeing someone.”
For a moment her face crumbled, but before Danny could
say anything, she nodded slowly and looked at him. “I’m happy for you. Who is
she?”
It was the moment of truth, Danny thought and taking
another deep breath, he smiled at Mary. “Eric Delko, he works for the Crime
Lab.”
The silence between them was complete. Mary seemed to
have frozen and the longer she remained silent, the more afraid Danny got. Mary
was his oldest friend, the one who had been at his side when he had returned
from Iraq, the one who had held his hand after his father had died and Danny
was terrified of losing her. She still was silent and Danny reached out for her
hand.
“Don’t touch me.” Her words broke his heart and again
he tried to reach for her. She looked at him this time and Danny froze at the
look of contempt in her eyes. “What was I for you, Danny? Your beard? Your
convenient friend if no one was around? How long have you lied to me? How long
have you been gay and let me believe that maybe one day I might have a future
with you?”
Her words made him reel, but Mary didn’t let him speak
instead she got up and looked down at him. “Everything was a lie, wasn’t it?
And I believed it... Stupid little Mary believed every word.”
“Mary, please...” Again she looked at him and this
time Danny saw the anguish and the anger in her blue eyes. “What can I do?”
She smiled at him almost sadly and shook her head.
“Nothing, Danny, there’s nothing you can do. You played me like a pro and right
now all I want is to forget that you exist.”
Mary walked away without looking back and every bone
in Danny’s body wanted to run after her, wanted to ask her to forgive him, but
before he could even get up, Delinda sat down opposite him and shook her head.
“Give her time, Danny. Just give her time.”
---
Delinda had watched the scene between Mary and Danny
from afar and her heart had hurt for both of them. She understood Mary’s fury,
understood that her friend wasn’t really angry at Danny but disappointed that
her childhood dreams had been shattered so harshly. On the other hand she hurt
for Danny too, Danny who had been seeking acceptance and now must feel as if he
had been rejected by his closest friend.
Seeing that Danny was about to follow her, Delinda got
up and held him back. “Give her time, Danny. Just give her time.”
His eyes were full of emotions and the smile he gave
her was a pale comparison to his normal smiles. “I screwed up, didn’t I?”
Trying to find something positive in the situation
Delinda shrugged. “Well, you could have screwed up worse, if you hadn’t told
her.”
Danny nodded slowly. “I guess you’re right, but fuck,
I... I never really thought that I would lose her. I never thought, she’d hate
me for loving Eric.”
How could this normally so intelligent man be so
stupid? Delinda stared at Danny in disbelief and after a moment of stunned
silence she exploded. “How stupid are you? Mary isn’t a homophobe, but she’s
just found out that the man she’s been in love with for her entire life is in
love with a man. How do you think she feels?”
Seeing Danny pale, she calmed a little and reached for
his hand. “Danny, Mary loves you. She always has. It was her dream in life to
become your wife, the mother of your kids and to have the house with the white
picket fence. You were her dream, Danny. And you’ve just crushed it.”
A shiver ran through Danny and as Delinda looked into
his eyes she saw fear and sadness there. “What do I do?”
Wishing she could do anything to help her friend and
yet somehow standing in the middle Delinda sighed. “There is nothing you can
do, Danny, just give her time.”
Danny nodded slowly and then shook his head. “I can’t
lose her, Delinda, she’s my best friend. She’s the only family I have.”
Her heart broke for her friend and she wrapped her
arms around him for a moment. “I’m sorry, Danny, I’m so sorry.”
Danny sighed and shook his head before he forced a
smile on his face. “I’m a drama queen aren’t I?”
Delinda accepted his change of topic and shrugged with
a smile. “Not a queen yet, but you’re a princess yes.”
---
Eric smiled a bit as he walked into the Montecito. It
almost felt like home and that alone was somehow surreal. It was a hotel after
all, a hotel and a casino and it shouldn’t by any rights feel like home. Still
it did and Eric knew that the only reason was the fact that Danny worked here.
It wasn’t the hotel or the casino that made him feel
good about coming here, it was Danny and gosh he sounded like a sap. Eric
laughed lightly when he saw Delinda walking over.
“Hey Eric, how are you?” She seemed tense and less
friendly than normal and Eric smiled friendly. “I’m fine, but you sound stressed.
Are you ok?”
Delinda shook her head and walked with him towards the
elevators. “Danny told Mary this morning. She freaked.”
“Shit.” Eric’s reaction was honest and his heart ached
at the thought of Danny. “I so hoped that she wouldn’t...”
Delinda smiled at him and shook her head. “Eric, it’s
got nothing to do with you. It’s just that Mary always loved Danny, always
dreamt of one day becoming his wife and now he’s destroyed that dream.”
Shattered Eric leaned against the elevator’s wall and
shook his head. “And you’re in the middle of it, aren’t you?”
Delinda seemed surprised at his insight and with a
sigh she nodded. “Yeah, but don’t worry. Everything will work out fine. I
promise, ok?”
Her upbeat nature made him smile and he pulled her
into his arms for a moment. “You’re a wonderful woman, Delinda.”
She grinned and wiggled her finger. “Watch out what
you’re saying. You know that this hotel has cameras everywhere.”
Eric laughed. “Yeah and I don’t want Warrick to beat
me up.”
Delinda looked at him and to Eric’s surprise she
blushed a little. “How did you find out?”
“Receptionists are great sources of information. The
donuts were nice, by the way.” She laughed too and together they walked out of
the elevator and into the security room. Danny though was nowhere to be seen
and Mitch who welcomed them told them that he’d been called to see Ed.
“Can I wait in his office?” Mitch nodded at Eric’s
question before he turned towards Delinda and started to explain what he had
found out for her. Delinda hugged Eric again and quietly whispered in his ear.
“Cheer our Danny boy a bit up ok?”
Eric nodded and walked over to Danny’s office where he
sat down on one of the sofas and grabbed a magazine to browse. He was so
engrossed in the article that he didn’t notice Mike coming into the office
looking for Danny. “You seen Danny?”
Looking up, Eric shook his head. “Mitch said that he’s
with Ed.”
Mike nodded and after a second of hesitation he closed
the door to Danny’s office behind him and sat down opposite him. “It’s good
he’s not here, cause we need to talk, Delko.”
Eric could guess what the talk would be about. Mike
had objected to him being friends with Danny from the start and Eric thought
back to the first time he had met Mike with a sigh.
“Oh, you work for the
police force. I guess, you’re working the streets then.” Mike had grinned at
the double entrée of his words and Eric had felt Danny tense next to him. He
put a hand on Danny’s back, so that Mike couldn’t see it before he answered
calmly. “I’m with the CSI team, so I’m
more a lab than a street rat.”
Mike’s eyes had narrowed at the comment and
immediately he had leaned forward. “So
you’re a scientist, now that’s interesting. At which university did you get
your degree?”
The sheer competitiveness in Mike’s words had made
Eric’s temper flare and he had answered without thinking. “University of Miami, why do you care?”
Mike had grinned like a cat that had gotten the
canary. “Well, it’s not bad, but it’s not
the MIT, is it?”
Eric hadn’t known that Mike had in fact graduated from
MIT, but the sheer smugness of Mike’s smile had clued him in. He had wanted to
reply something harsh, but Danny had prevented it by glaring at Mike and changing
the topic. Now though, there was no Danny to run interference and Eric sighed.
“What is your problem, Mike?”
“My problem? My problem?” Mike leaned forward and
glared at him “This isn’t about me, this is about you waltzing in here and
stealing my best buddy. This is about you telling Danny, that he shouldn’t let
me push him around, that he’s the boss and not I.”
Eric felt his blood starting to boil and meeting
Mike’s stare head on, he laughed without humor. “Have you ever respected Danny
for who he is, Mike? I don’t think so, you are on your high horse, the big Mike
from MIT, the wunderkind that can’t do wrong, but you know what, there is a
reason that Danny is Ed’s second in command and not you.”
Mike’s face was a mask of anger and Eric suddenly
wondered if he had said too much. “And what if? What if I think he’s a joke?
What if I think he doesn’t deserve the job? Why do you care? You’re not his
friend, you’re not even a colleague, you’re nothing but a distant
acquaintance.”
“I’m his partner.” Eric said the words calmly and for
a moment they seemed to hang in the air between him and Mike before Mike
laughed.
“Good one, Delko, really, you almost had me there.”
Mike laughed derisively and sneered lightly. “I can believe that you take it up
your ass, but Danny is no fag.”
The words hurt Eric, but even worse than the words was
the knowledge that Danny would be devastated at Mike’s reaction. Danny had
always been wary about Mike not accepting them and now it seemed as if he had
been right.
“We’re lovers, Mike, accept it or leave it.” His words
were final and his voice serious. “I don’t care what you think or say about me,
but Danny cares for you, so if you can’t accept that he’s your boss and my
lover, then you better get used to it, because I won’t let you hurt him.”
Mike seemed to understand that Eric was serious, and
an almost wicked expression came in his eyes. “And what if I tell Ed about it?
What do you think will he do?”
Eric wanted to answer, but a voice from the door
interrupted him. “Ed knows, Mike, he has always known that I’m gay.”
Danny was pale and his movements were stiff. Eric’s
heart ached for him and not caring about Mike he got up and looked at Danny.
“I’m sorry.”
His whispered words were met with a faint smile before
Danny quickly caressed his face. His eyes were sad, but his face was determined
as he turned towards Mike. “You have to decide, Mike, either you can accept it
or not. It’s your choice.”
Mike didn’t say anything else as he left the office,
but Eric saw the anger and hatred in the dark eyes as Mike looked at him once
again. He shivered and immediately Danny’s arms were around him. “He can’t hurt
you.”
Eric smiled at the comforting words and pulled Danny
closer. “I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you.”
His lover had just come out to two of his best friends
and both had rejected him. Eric held Danny close as tiny shivers ran through
his body. “Let’s get out of here, ok?”
---
*Los Angeles*
Charlie felt like a nervous teenager as he checked his
hair for the tenth time in the mirror. At first he’d worn a suit, but then had
changed into jeans and a leather jacket and still he wasn’t sure if he was
dressed appropriately.
“For god’s sake, it’s just Colby.” He muttered
annoyed, but that was it, wasn’t it? It wasn’t just Colby. It was the Colby
he’d dreamt of for so long, the Colby he’d kissed this morning and...
His phone brought him back to reality and he sighed as
he saw that it was Don calling him. His brother... Colby’s boss... and no,
Charlie didn’t want to think about what that meant, because just no.
“Don, what can I do for you?” He knew that he sounded
unnaturally cheerful, but Don didn’t react to it and as he spoke his brother
sounded stressed. “Charlie, we’ve got a bomb threat, the message has some code
on it. Can you come in?”
Charlie wanted to answer that he had dinner plans, but
then, no, he didn’t have any dinner plans, did he? His dinner plans had just
been cancelled because his date had to deal with a bomb threat.
“Sure, I’ll bring sandwiches ok?” Don sounded relieved
when he thanked him and a moment later Charlie stared at his phone. He wanted
to call Colby, but felt strangely insecure about it. Still staring at his phone
Charlie startled when it beeped and a text message was announced. Swallowing
his sudden anticipation, Charlie opened the text and smiled brightly as he read
Colby’s message.
‘Dinner is postponed, sorry for that... I’ll make it
up to you next time.’
---
*Las Vegas*
Danny woke to the smell of coffee and the sound of
Eric moving around in his flat. Not yet completely awake, he smiled and
snuggled into the pillow next to him. It smelled of Eric, he noted and took a
deep breath, ready to fall asleep once again.
“Hey, sleepy head? Wake up, it’s a wonderful morning.”
Eric’s voice was close to Danny’s ear and his hand was gently combing through
his hair. It didn’t give Danny much incentive to get up and with a light growl,
he reached out and pulled Eric towards his body. Eric laughed and withdrew
easily and Danny growled harder. He wanted to snuggle with his partner and not
get up.
“Come on, love, open your eyes.” This time, Eric’s
voice was accompanied with a light laughter and finally Danny lifted one eye
lid to glare at his lover. “It’s too early.”
“It’s nine, Danny, and Warrick said that he’d be over
around twelve, so if you want some alone time, before the big lug appears,
you’d better get up.” The thought of alone time with Eric made Danny wake up
completely and he pushed himself up on his elbows. Eric stood next to the bed
and smiled down at him. He looked edible and suddenly surging up, Danny grabbed
Eric and pulled him down with him.
“Hey...” Any potential protests died when Danny found
Eric’s lips and kissed them first gently, then more and more passionately. Eric
moaned and Danny felt the shiver than ran through this partner’s body like a
full body caress. His hands slipped under Eric’s shirt and with a sigh, he
touched the soft skin, kneaded the strong muscles and with a sigh, he parted
his legs so that Eric came to lie in between them. The touch of their groins
against each other was electric and Danny moaned softly as Eric rocked against
him.
“Is there anything cooking in the kitchen?” It took
Eric a while to understand the question and Danny grinned a bit smugly as he
saw the dazed look in his lover’s face. Then Eric smiled down at him and shook
his head. “Our coffee will get cold though.”
Why should Danny care about cold coffee if he had a
hot Eric lying on top of him? He didn’t even bother to reply instead he moved
and started to push Eric’s shirt up. Eric smiled and helped him by stripping
his shirt off and sitting up to pull down his sweats. Danny whistled.
“Going commando? I like that, Eric...”
Eric blushed lightly and pulled at Danny’s boxer
shorts. Soon they both were naked and Danny moaned at the feeling of Eric’s
skin against his own. He pulled at Eric until his lover once more lay on top of
him and for a second their eyes met, before Eric leaned down and kissed him.
It always surprised Danny how thoroughly Eric kissed.
It was as if Eric used his entire body, as if he managed to changed one kiss
into a complete movement. It made Danny’s toes curl and he simply loved the
feeling of electricity that always went through him when Eric touched him so
intimately.
They kissed until the need to breath became too much
and Danny released Eric quickly only to pull him back immediately. Again their
tongues dueled gently and then Eric looked up and Danny swallowed at the wicked
grin in his lover’s face.
License
“I want to suck you.”
The words felt like a physical thing and Danny gasped
as arousal shot through him. He nodded slowly, but before Eric moved, Danny
stopped him and reached over to the side table.
“I want to see you in the sunlight.” With those words,
Danny grabbed the remote control and had the blinds move up and let the sun in.
Within moments the room was flooded by sunlight and Danny smiled at the
beautiful picture of Eric’s golden skin in the sun.
Eric shook his head and laughed lightly. “Just be
glad, that I’ve got no neighbors.”
Danny smiled too, but soon his smile turned into a
gasp as Eric slid down along his body and he felt tender kisses and nips being
scattered on his body. Gasping as Eric licked along his hip bone, Danny
whimpered as he felt hot air on his cock. He needed Eric and as his lover playfully
kissed the tip, Danny cried out.
“Please, Eric, please. I need you.” Danny looked down
and the sight of Eric leaning down, swallowing his length while his body was
bathed in sunlight was almost enough to carry him over the edge. Another
whimper escaped him as one of Eric’s hands ghosted over his balls and he
squeezed his eyes shut for a moment in ecstasy.
“Look at me, Danny.” Eric had barely spoke those words
when his mouth was back on Danny’s cock and Danny forced his eyes open. He
gasped as he saw how Eric was touching himself while he sucked Danny. The
picture was so erotic, so sexy that Danny groaned. Eric smiled at him and
hummed lightly and Danny was lost. He screamed Eric’s name and lost every sense
of time as he emptied himself into Eric’s mouth.
---
Watching Danny come had to be one of the hottest
things Eric had ever seen in his live. He shivered at the sight and tenderly
licked the spent cock clean, when he felt Danny’s hands pulling him up and
pressing him close.
“Your turn.” The words were whispered while Eric felt
a strong hand moving over his body. He trembled at the simple touch, aroused to
the point of pain and moaned slightly. Danny smiled. “I want you to lose it.”
It wouldn’t take long for him to do exactly that, Eric
thought as Danny’s hand stroked him with a sure grip. His lover knew exactly
what made Eric come undone and with a scream, he held onto Danny’s body and
came.
---
*Los Angeles*
“How are you?” Calleigh looked up as Captain Walker
walked into her office without knocking. She smiled a little at his brusque
attitude, but his eyes spoke a different language. He looked concerned and
angry.
“I’ve only just heard about it, Calleigh. Why didn’t
you come to me?” This time he’d managed to surprise her and she shrugged
uncomfortably. “I made a report, got my all clear and that’s it. I didn’t
really want it to make rounds.”
He smiled and shook his head. “You’ve worked long
enough for law enforcement to know that everything makes rounds, especially
those things that you don’t want.”
Blushing a little, she nodded. “Yeah, seems as if the
entire lab has come over to ask about me.”
Walker sat down opposite her and fixed her with his
eyes. Calleigh hated that he could reduce her to feeling like a naughty
teenager, but she respected Gary Walker like she hadn’t respected many cops.
“They don’t ask out of curiosity, but because they care.”
When she didn’t respond to his words, he sighed. “I
heard that Sinclair protected you.”
Remembering the moment when she had woken up in a
strange bed, Calleigh shivered before she nodded. “Yeah, he realized that
something was wrong with me and took me home.”
“He’s a good man, Sinclair. I remember the first case
I worked with him and Eppes’ team. He’s got a stubborn streak, but he’s a good
man.”
For someone like Walker that really was a huge
endorsement and Calleigh nodded slowly. “Yeah, he is.”
They talked for a bit longer, but it was evident that
Walker had just wanted to check with Calleigh and having done this, he quickly
said good bye. Calleigh smiled as she watched him leave and then turned back to
her work. She had never realized how much admin work was attached to being
supervisor and sometimes she wondered when Horatio had found the time to fill
out all the necessary reports, appraisals and budgeting sheets. Sighing she
sent off the last of the required planning sheets and leant back in her chair.
It was almost lunch time and without thinking much,
she reached for the phone and dialed David’s number. “You’ve got time for
lunch?”
---
*Las Vegas*
“You’re late.” Warrick grinned at Eric’s comments and
for a second he was tempted to recite from the Lord of the Rings movie, but
when he saw the chips and the pizza on the table, he forgot about it.
“And you started without me.”
Eric shrugged and grinned. “We’ve already worked out
hard this morning.”
Seeing the blush that covered Danny’s face, Warrick
leered at the pair. “Indeed...”
The game hadn’t started yet, but the pre-game talk had
and Warrick sat down to enjoy the talks when he felt Danny’s eyes on him.
“Yeah?”
“You and Delinda?” Warrick grinned again. He’d
expected the question and shrugged lightly. “We’ve just gone for drinks a
couple of times. So no need to give me the talk yet.”
Danny laughed. “Oh, believe me. The ‘talk’ won’t be
delivered by me. You, Warrick my friend, will get the talk from Ed Deline
himself.”
Seeing the gleeful smile in Danny’s face, Warrick
groaned. “Is it that bad?”
Danny sobered a bit and nodded. “I tell you when he
found me and Delinda in that hotel room, I was scared shitless. But then I work
for him and we did it in one of his hotels...”
To say that Warrick was shocked would have been an
understatement. He stared at Danny and then at Eric who didn’t seem surprised
at all. Again his eyes went back to Danny and finally he found that he could
speak again. “You and Delinda?”
Danny shrugged. “I was her little rebellion and she
was and still is hot.”
“You knew this?” Warrick glared at Eric who smiled and
nodded. “Yeah, Danny told me.”
Eric had no problem with it and after a moment of
contemplation, Warrick smiled. He shouldn’t have a problem with it too,
shouldn’t he? Leaning back in the chair, Warrick relaxed and smiled. “So any
tips in case, Ed comes knocking at my door?”
---
*Los Angeles*
“It was good talking to you.” Don put his phone down
and stared at it for a long time. It had been good to talk to Grissom and he
had a feeling that Grissom too enjoyed talking to him. Maybe it was the
distance that made them speak more open about many thing, or maybe it was the
fact that they didn’t really know each other that well.
They rarely talked about anything too deep. And still
their infrequent chats always enabled Don to reflect on his behavior and he had
a feeling that Grissom felt the same. They had talked about their cases, about
some upcoming conferences and about other almost mundane topics.
It was raining outside and Don shivered as a cold
breeze flowed through the open window into the room. He quickly walked over and
closed the window. The street outside of his apartment was deserted. Another
shiver ran through Don as he suddenly felt lonely. With the storm raging
through L.A. it felt as if he was the only person on the planet and sighing he
turned away from the depressing sight outside.
There was a game on TV and Don grabbed a beer from the
fridge before sat down on his couch. A part of him wanted to go and visit his
dad and Charlie, but another part just wanted solitude.
“Pathetic.” He murmured and it was, wasn’t it? The
fact that the person he could call a friend outside his team or his family was
Gil Grissom.
Don swallowed hard and pushed his thoughts away when
his phone rang.
“Don, it’s Liz. You want to go for a drink?”
Under normal circumstances, Don would have said no,
but right now he needed to feel less lonely and after a moment’s of hesitation
he agreed. “That sounds like a great idea.”
And yet, even as he said it, he knew that it wasn’t.
---
Eric watched from the door as Danny and Warrick
bantered in the living room. The game was over and Eric waited for the moment,
when Warrick would give Danny the talk. Eric knew that Warrick had come over in
the intention to give Danny ‘the talk’, but to his surprise Warrick looked at
Danny concerned instead of stern.
“What’s wrong?” Warrick’s voice was soft and concerned
and Eric sighed. Warrick was a perceptive man and had picked up on Danny’s
distress, had noticed the sometimes forced laughter. Eric knew that his lover
still hurt from yesterday’s events and it had made him seek out Danny more than
normal. They had been sitting together, holding each other and maybe that had
been something else that had clued Warrick in.
Danny was silent for a long time, but then he looked
up and Eric silently gasped at the sadness his lover’s eyes. “I told my best
friend about me and Eric yesterday and she... She didn’t take it well.”
Warrick tensed, but before he could say anything,
Danny laughed harshly. “And to top it off, Mike found out too and he hates me.
Although, that’s probably nothing new.”
“I’m sorry, man. If you want me to beat him up.” Eric
smiled and felt warmth at the honest care he saw in Warrick’s eyes. His comment
even brought a smile on Danny’s face, although it disappeared quickly and Danny
shook his head. “No, it’s fine. He’s not been a friend for a while. It’s Mary’s
rejection that hurts the worst. She was like family.”
“And you’ve lost her because of me.” Eric spoke
quietly and the guilt he felt was clearly audible in his words. Danny tensed
and shook his head at Eric’s words and fixed his partner with his eyes. “No, it
wasn’t your fault. It was mine.”
“Yours?” It was clear that Warrick didn’t understand silently
Eric was glad, because he didn’t agree with his partner. Danny however shrugged
almost helplessly. “I knew that she loved me and I let her believe that maybe
one day she might have a chance with me. I should have told her the truth a
long time ago.”
“Why didn’t you?” Danny swallowed hard at Warrick’s
question and seeing the pain in his partner, Eric walked over and reached out
for Danny’s hand. He smiled a little at the love in Danny’s eyes, and sat down
next to him.
“Because I was afraid and maybe because I always hoped
that one day I would fall in love with her, that one day I would want the white
picket fence and the dog and the 2.5 children.”
Danny’s voice sounded broken and Eric pulled his lover
close, held him in an almost protective way. It seemed as if Danny had
forgotten that Warrick was here as he looked into Eric’s eyes and smiled sadly.
“I never thought that I would find someone worthy of coming out and be honest.
I was too set in my ways, too afraid of what could happen.”
“It wasn’t worth it.” Eric felt Danny’s sadness, but
even as he said those words, Danny’s body went rigid and his eyes started to
blaze.
“Don’t ever say that. Don’t ever say that what we have
isn’t worth trouble. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re
worth it. We are.”
Eric felt even the last tiny bit of insecurity melt
away and pulling Danny’s head towards him he captured his lover’s lips in a
fierce kiss. “Yes, we are.”
Their lips met again until they heard a cough next to
them. “Guys, you’ve got an audience... Not that I mind though, but you know… I
thought maybe you did.”
Warrick was lazing in his chair and grinned at them.
He reached for his beer and chuckled once more. “I wanted to give you the talk,
Danny, but I think after that declaration it’s not necessary. Just remember, I
know where to hide bodies.”
He took a large sip from his beer and stretched his
body. “So, anyone want more pizza?”
Eric smiled at his friend and leaned back against
Danny. He could feel how Danny relaxed slowly and without thinking much took
Danny’s hand into his. He knew that his lover was still hurting from Mary’s
rejection and Mike’s open attack. But he also knew that they would get through
together and yes, he really wanted more pizza.
---
“What are you afraid of, Gil?” Heather’s voice was
calm, always calm and for a moment Grissom wanted to shout at her, shake her
just to get a rise out of her, but then he remembered her desperate tears after
her daughter’s death. She wasn’t calm, he thought, just controlled.
“What are you afraid of?” Her eyes demanded an answer
and with a sigh, Grissom averted his eyes. “I have nothing to offer to him.”
There, he thought, he had said it. Had finally said
out loud why he was so afraid of approaching Greg. Heather sighed, but remained
silent while she sipped her tea. It had become a ritual for them this tea time
after Grissom’s visits to the domain. Those visits were far and in between and
Heather had once told him that his visits were his last resort before he broke.
She was right, Grissom knew, but he never knew whether it was the physical
satisfaction or the talks with her that managed to give him enough peace of mind
to last for another couple of months.
“He’s everything I’m not.”
Again his words were met with a calm look and silence.
He drank some tea and looked at her. “He works for me.”
Still Heather didn’t respond and almost angry he
hissed. “It wouldn’t work.”
Now she smiled and tilted her head slightly as she
watched him. “Who are you trying to convince, Gil? Me or you?”
Her question took aback, but before he could answer,
she continued. “Gil, what are you more afraid of? Is it being rejected or being
accepted?”
How did she do that, Gil wondered, how did she manage
to cut right through all the lies and facades that he built and went straight
to the weak point?
“I don’t know.”
Heather smiled at him, and again she took her time
before she answered. “Remember that life is short Gil. Remember that every day
something could happen to take him away from you. You know better than anyone
that nothing is guaranteed. You know that there are no second chances. Could
you life with the what if?”
Her eyes bore into his soul, but Grissom averted them
quickly. He didn’t answer her, not because he didn’t want to, but because he
couldn’t. The thought that something could happen to Greg was too terrible to
think about and so he pushed it away.
“Do you think, he’s invincible?” Her voice made him
look up and he saw the concern in her eyes. It angered him and with a harsher
than usual voice he answered. “Why do you keep pushing me?”
Sighing she reached out and put her hand over his.
“Because, I know you and I know that you couldn’t survive losing him.”
And even though he didn’t say anything, he knew that
she was right.
---
“Will you go home for Christmas?” Danny wasn’t looking
at Eric as he asked him. A part of him was afraid of Eric’s answer, afraid of
spending Christmas alone. In previous years he had spent it with Mary and
Delinda, Mike and the others, but he knew that this year, he wouldn’t be
invited to Mary’s home made Christmas dinner or to Mike’s Christmas Eve drinks.
Soft arms came around Danny’s waist and warm lips
kissed his skin before Eric whispered tender words in his ear. “No, I won’t.
I’ll spend it here, with you.”
Danny relaxed slightly and turned around to pull Eric
close. “You sure?”
Eric smiled and nodded. “Yeah, because you know I have
no reason to go home. I am home.”
---
The End