Disclaimer: The concept and the people in the story are fictional and the
property of several production companies. I only borrow them and return them
unharmed and unmarked. No money is made of the story and no infringement is
meant.
Chapter
1 – Endings and Beginnings
Police department, Miami Dade
“You’re leaving.” Horatio stared at Eric ins
shock. He wasn’t sure what to say, and for a moment he felt completely frozen.
His hand trembled as he put the sheet down, the letters blurred for a moment,
but even as he read them again the content didn’t change.
Eric was leaving the team.
“I can’t stay here.” Eric’s voice was tight and Horatio suddenly noticed
the lines around Eric’s eyes. A shiver ran through him and he got up and walked
around the desk. Eric’s shoulders trembled as Horatio gently led him towards
the couch.
“Let’s talk about it. We can find a way, you don’t have to leave.”
Horatio saw the bitter smile that crossed Eric’s face and was shocked at the
pain that suddenly stood in the brown eyes. It doesn’t help to talk Horatio.
Talking doesn’t change that I lost Speed, doesn’t change that I lost Marisol.
I’ve been through too much in the last few months, H. I’m scared of what I
might become if I stay here.”
Horatio understood what Eric meant, he knew the fear himself, knew that
the relentless hunt for his sister’s killer had hardened Eric, but before he
could think about Eric’s last words anymore, something else made him swallow
hard. “Talking doesn’t change that I lost Speed.’
Just hearing the name made Horatio’s heart stop for a moment. Looking at
Eric, he suddenly understood, understood why Eric had never been able to accept
Ryan in the team, understood why Eric had changed so
much after Speed’s death. He had always thought that Eric and Speed had just
been friends, but looking back, Horatio could see that there had been more to
it than that. A shiver ran through Horatio as he remembered Speed and what he
had felt for him. No, he hadn’t seen the deep connection between the two men,
hadn’t wanted to see it, and suddenly he wondered what might have happened if
he had seen it.. Would it have changed anything?
The guilt he felt was familiar and with a sigh he pushed the memories
aside and concentrated on Eric. He didn’t want to lose him. Eric had become a
good friend, someone who was important to him Some
part of him wanted to hold Eric back, try anything to make him stay, but the
more rational part of his mind made him simply ask. “Las Vegas?”
Eric smiled. “I thought it was far enough away to make a new start.”
Horatio didn’t answer, really there was nothing he could say; Eric was
right, talking wasn’t going to change anything. After Eric had left his office,
he sank down in his chair, defeated. His eyes went to the picture on his desk.
It showed the old team. Alexx, Calleigh, Eric, Horatio and
Speed. They had lost Speed. Now he was losing Eric. Right now he wasn’t sure
which hurt him the most.
---
Why Las Vegas? There is no
sea, no lake, nothing there for you…
Horatio
had been right, Eric thought as his eyes roamed over the barren and yet golden
land that surrounded Las Vegas. There was no sea, no lake, no diving... He felt
a pang in his heart at the thought of not living close to the beach, but he
pushed it away before it could take hold. He knew that there was a lake nearby
and if the craving got too much, he would go diving there. Horatio had not
understood why he felt he had to leave Miami and he felt another pang as he
remembered the older man as he had seen him last.
Horatio
had insisted on bringing him to the airport, had walked right up to the gate
with him and only there had he finally taken his sunglasses off.
I am always there, no matter
what, call me Eric. If you need a friend, call me.
He
had wanted to stay then, turn around and tell his boss that he was staying, but
he had not even found the right words to say good bye and so they had stood
slightly awkwardly next to each other until the boarding had started and
Horatio had to leave.
“I’m
sorry H.”
His
whispered words faded in the noise of the plane and he was glad for it. He had
never expected that leaving Miami would be so hard, not after all he had gone
through in the city. Not after losing Speed and Marisol to his own job...
And
yet it had been hard. Very hard.
“Ladies
and Gentlemen, welcome to Las Vegas”
Eric
sat up and watched the other passengers disembark..
Most of them were here to spend a weekend in Sin City and then go back to good
old Florida. A few of them would not return for six or ten months, but for all
of them, this flight was just the first leg of a return trip. Sooner or later
they would be going home.
Eric
would not be among them, he would stay and try to grow
roots here. This was his home now. The thought made him shiver, he had never
really believed that he would leave Miami and yet now he had. He had never
thought that one day he would have to start completely on his own.
It
was a scary feeling and yet he knew that leaving Miami had been his only option
of surviving.
---
Las
Vegas, six months later
Eric and Warrick walked silently along the dark
street. The longer they walked the further away they got from the bright lights
that illuminated the crime scene. They didn’t speak,
instead they focused on the path they were searching until Warrick suddenly
cursed loudly. “I hate cases like this.”
Cases like this meant a dead child, a girl not
even thirteen, and Eric understood only too well what Warrick meant. He had
never gotten used to seeing a child dead, had never gotten used to processing
clothes that were meant to be worn by a kid running around outside and being
carefree. Kaylee Bryans hadn’t been so lucky. She was dead. Her body dumped
like some broken toy, like rubbish on the side of the street. Eric felt bile
rise in his throat at the thought of the dead girl and her family. All they
could do now was try to give them closure.
“I’ve got something.” Warrick’s voice brought
him out of his musings and his eyes followed the light of Warrick’s flashlight
to see something silver glint against the darkness of the grass. He stepped
over carefully and lifted the item up. It was a silver necklace. Eric shivered,
knowing it had belonged to the dead girl.. Warrick and
he were silent as they bagged it. It wasn’t an unfriendly silence and yet it
brought home the fact how foreign everything still was to Eric. He didn’t know
the other members of the graveyard shift well enough to know how they reacted
in such a situation.
Longing for his old team filled him. With the
longing came the sadness and the pain of knowing that his old team didn’t exist
anymore. Eric swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat as Warrick
kneeled down and carefully ran his light over some tire marks. Warrick’s expression
was somber, but there was also an incredible focus in him. Focus
and intent that reminded Eric painfully of Speed.
“Boys, you got anything?” Catherine’s voice
brought him back to the forest and reality and he turned around to see her walk
up to them. Warrick straightened, and pointed towards the marks. “Got some tire
tracks, I think he reversed here after he dumped her.”
The cold and detached assessment made Eric
shiver, but he caught himself in time to meet Catherine’s eyes. She looked at
him critically before her eyes went to his evidence bag. He saw her frown and
explained. “Warrick found a necklace; we think it might be Kaylee’s.”
Catherine nodded and told them to keep
processing and then meet her in the lab. She left them and it was only then
that Eric felt Warrick’s eyes on him. “Why did you tell her that?”
Confused at the question, Eric looked at
Warrick and was immediately captured in the green eyed stare. “Why did I tell
her what?” Warrick’s eyes were still holding him captive as the older man
walked up to him and pointed at the necklace. “That I found it. Why didn’t you
tell her that we found it?”
The surprise Eric felt must have shown in his
face, because Warrick shook his head and smiled a bit. “Anything we find, we’ll
log together. This is not a competition, Eric, this is team work.”
Warrick’s words made Eric smile sadly and he
nodded, but even as he did his mind flashed back to Miami and the row he and
Wolfe had had after the younger CSI had logged a piece of evidence that Eric
had found under his name. It had been just one of many arguments between Eric
and the man who had taken Speed’s spot in the team. He sighed silently and met
Warrick’s eyes again as he apologized. “Sorry, it was a bit different in
Miami.”
Warrick nodded, but at the same time he smiled
ruefully. “Yeah, well I’ll probably challenge you to a bet once in a while, but
it’s nothing serious.” Eric saw the sudden pain in Warrick’s eyes before he
turned his head away.
“I took the gambling and competition too
serious and too far once...” Warrick’s voice trailed off and seeing the pain in
the other man, Eric reacted instinctively and put a comforting hand on
Warrick’s shoulder. “You ok?”
Eric felt the tension in the strong muscles
under his hand, but he also felt the slow relaxing as Warrick realized that
Eric wasn’t going to ask him about whatever had happened. They bagged
everything and drove back to the lab in silence when Warrick suddenly stopped
the car at the side of the road and looked at Eric. “Why don’t we have
breakfast later?”
It still sounded weird to Eric and the thought
of going for breakfast after an entire night of work was still very surreal,
but he also recognized it as the offer it was. Warrick wanted to get to know
him and if Eric ever wanted to find a home in this town then he had to open
himself up to people. He returned Warrick’s smile with one of his own. “I’d
love to, but lets go back to the lab first.”
---
Three days later Eric and Warrick stood next to each other while they
watched the officers take Kaylee’s mother away. Eric always felt sick after
cases like this and today was no different. He had grown up in a loving family,
had been surrounded by people who supported him even if they didn’t approve of
some of his choices.
“It amazes me every time how cruel people can be.” Warrick’s voice was
as subdued and tired as Eric felt.
It was in moments like this that he hated his job and longed even more
for Speed. When his lover had still been alive, they had curled up in each
other’s arms after hard cases, had held onto each other almost desperately and
had tried to make each other forget. Later, after Speed had died, Eric had
sometimes tried to forget the day in a woman’s arms. It had never worked, and
he had learned to dread the emptiness that came with meaningless sex, so he had
stopped seeking even that little bit of comfort. Now, as he looked at Warrick,
he felt the yearning again. Not a sexual longing, but the almost painful need to not be alone after a night like this. Their eyes met
and Eric swallowed hard at the pain in Warrick’s green eyes.
“Why don’t we get out of here?” Warrick’s voice was rough and had an
almost desperate quality. Eric nodded and silently followed his friend outside
and to the car. Warrick got in and looked at Eric. “Just follow me, ok?”
They drove through Vegas and then out into the desert, out into the nowhere
until finally they came to a halt on top of one of the hills surrounding the
city. Curious as to Warrick’s intent, Eric got out and watched surprised as
Warrick got a can of coffee and some water out. They sat down on one of the
sun-warmed stones and silently shared a coffee. Eric let himself be calmed by the grand scenery around
him, the silent comfort of his friend next to him.
“It’s beautiful here.” Warrick nodded at Eric’s words and smiled
lightly, almost sadly. “Yes, it is. Peaceful, you know, very peaceful.”
They didn’t say more and for once Eric didn’t feel like the silence was
tense, instead he drew comfort from the fact that he wasn’t alone and for the
first time in six months, he realized that he had made the right decision in
coming the Las Vegas.
---
“Do any of you need anything from New York?”
Everyone in the break room went still. All eyes
turned to Warrick, and then shifted to Greg, who had suddenly gone pale. Greg
shook his head slowly, his eyes filled with pain and sadness as he looked at
Warrick.
“I thought you had given up on that idea.”
Grissom’s calm voice came from the door and as if the entrance of their boss
had broken a spell, Catherine and Sara spoke at once. “You're going to see Nick?”
And Eric suddenly understood the reaction
that the seemingly innocent question had caused. Warrick however ignored
Grissom completely while he locked his eyes with Greg’s as he answered the
myriad of questions. “Yeah, I’m going to see him and no, Gil, I had never
given up on the idea. I just need to understand some things.”
Again Eric felt that there was more than what
was actually said, but before he could understand, Greg got up and dragged
Warrick out of the room. Eric quickly stepped back to get out of the way and
saw how Greg pushed Warrick into a meeting room just around the corner.
Confused he looked at the remaining members of his team and frowned at the
glare that both Catherine and Sara sent after Warrick. “What was that about?”
“Nick.” It was Grissom who answered and the way
he spoke the name was as if the one word would explain everything. It did to a
certain degree, but on the other hand it just served to confuse Eric even more.
Nick and Warrick had been good friends, so why would Greg want to prevent him
from going to New York? He looked at Catherine and Sara to get more
information, but the two women looked away. Eric wanted to scream. He had
thought that he had managed to escape the shadow of Nick Stokes, but right now
it was clear that he hadn’t. It hurt much more than he would have expected and
with a sigh he left the break room.
He didn’t know where to go when he saw Warrick
storm out of the meeting room. For a moment he was tempted to follow his
friend, but a hand on his shoulder held him back. Eric turned around and met Catherine’s
eyes. “Don’t. Warrick needs some time to think. He’s got to understand the
reality of Nick having moved on.”
Some of Warrick’s comments about Nick suddenly
made sense and Eric nodded slowly before he smiled at Catherine. “Thanks.”
Her answering smile was gentle and open and it
showed Eric that she knew what he was really thanking her for. Pointing towards
the open door, she handed Eric a coffee. “You talk to Greg, I talk to Warrick.”
Eric smiled knowing that she was probably
better equipped to deal with Warrick than he was. She grinned too and turned
around leaving him standing in the corridor. For a moment Eric was unsure
whether or not to talk to Greg, but when he heard the groan of annoyance from
the meeting room, he entered and slowly sat down next to the younger man. “Greg, you alright?”
Greg looked up and waved with a smile so fake
it almost hurt Eric to see it. He and Greg had gotten along immediately. They
had gone out once or twice and Greg had even taken him diving. Eric shivered
lightly as he remembered the day at Lake Mead. He was sure that Greg had meant
well, but getting into his diving gear had woken too many memories and it had
hurt him more than it should have. He was sure that Greg hadn’t noticed,
because Eric had become very good at pretending to have fun even when he hurt
inside, but he’d refused every offer of another trip. Diving was one of the
things he had wanted to leave behind and that one single time where he had
tried to go, had hurt too much.
Greg and he hadn’t spent much time together
since that day, but it wasn’t because Eric was somehow angry with Greg. Work
had interfered a couple of times when they’d made
plans, and with Warrick dragging Eric out to games and drinks, there hadn’t
been much opportunity. Still Eric liked Greg and seeing him beat made him feel
bad. “Is Warrick bothering you?”
Greg frowned for a moment, before he shook his
head. “Not me.”
A smile crossed Eric’s face as he shoved a cup
of coffee over the table and sat down, too. “Nick.”
He could see that Greg was surprised, but after
a moment of consideration he nodded. “Yeah, he wants him back, but he doesn’t
understand that he never had him in the first place.”
The simple answer made Eric sigh lightly. He
could understand Greg’s annoyance with Warrick, but at the same time, how well
could he understand Warrick. If he’d had a chance to get Speed back... The
thought alone made him swallow hard with sorrow. Yes, he understood Warrick...
“Maybe he’s right, you know? Maybe Nick is home here?”
Greg shook his head, but it wasn’t with
annoyance as Eric had half expected it to be. Instead his friend got up and
pulled him towards the break room. The room was empty now and as Greg sat down,
Eric felt the blue eyes look at him critically. “Nick’s happy where he is. He
wanted to get away from all the memories and now he’s finally found a home.”
Eric nodded slowly. He understood what Greg
told him, remembered how Speed had always told him that coming to Miami had
saved his life. The thought brought a bitter smile to Eric’s face and
immediately he turned away from Greg not wanting to him to see the sadness.
Coming to Miami had saved Speed’s life and yet in the end it hadn’t been
enough, he, Eric hadn’t been enough. The darkness inside Speed had in the end
caught up with him and gotten him killed.
“You’re taking this extremely easy, you know?”
Surprised at the comment, Eric looked at Greg. “What do you mean?”
Greg smiled lightly and waved his hand around. “Well this here, Nick having a boyfriend in New York and Warrick
wanting him to come back to be with him. I mean, hey I’m open-minded and
all, but...”
Greg trailed off and Eric felt both anger and
amusement at the suddenly uncertain look in the younger man’s eyes. “But I am a
Cuban Catholic, so I’m clearly a bigot?”
His words had been harsher than he’d intended
and as Greg flinched, Eric immediately felt bad for him. He leaned forward and
clasped Greg’s shoulder gently. “I’m not angry, Greg, really I’m not. It’s
just... Look... how am I to judge someone for loving
someone? We all have our little closets, don’t we?”
Eric saw that Greg wanted to ask him something,
but Grissom chose that moment to walk into the break room with a scowl on his
face. “Is anyone working here tonight?”
The soft yet stern words had both Eric and Greg
scrambling to get up. Heading towards munitions, Eric was sure that he could
feel Greg’s eyes on him.
---
They weren’t a team. The realization hit Catherine like a blow to her
stomach. She had thought that with Eric fitting in so well, they would be able
to rebuild the team that had been torn apart when Ecklie had split them up, and
later had shattered after Nick left.
There had been so many new people since Nick left. None of the new guys
had fit in until Eric. When Grissom had told her that he had gotten an
application from the Miami CSI, she had been surprised, but after talking to
Calleigh, she understood that Eric had wanted to leave
The man who had joined the graveyard shift had not been the man she had
met in Miami all those years ago. Back then, Eric Delko had been full of life,
of laughter and of himself. He had simultaneously annoyed and charmed her, but
watching him in the lab she had been struck by his instinctive aptitude for
forensics.
The Eric Delko she was working with now was a different man to the one
he’d been back then. This man didn’t laugh much, he might smile or smirk, but
she could probably count on one hand the times she had heard him laugh freely
and happily. There was an almost constant sadness in his eyes and he seemed
more self-conscious than before. The one thing that hadn’t changed was the
talent he had for his job, Catherine thought as she reflected, he’d changed in
the way he worked, had fulfilled the promises he had shown when she had met him
all those years ago, but his talent still shone through. He hadn’t had an easy
start, and yet he had endured, had stayed with them for six months now and she
had watched as he had started to form bonds with the team.
Greg had been the first, who had been able to make Eric come out of his
shell, make him laugh and joke with him. Catherine knew that they had gone out
a couple of times, had gone for drinks and even gone diving together and then suddenly
there had been a distance between them. They still bantered back and forth, but
she never heard Greg talk about how Eric had gone out with him anymore and she
knew that they had never gone diving again. Instead she had watched Eric
retreat into his somber mood again only to be pulled back by Warrick.
Warrick had dragged Eric out of his dark corner, had made him go to
breakfast with them and taken him to games and drinks. The two had developed a
friendship which in time probably would grow as strong as the friendship
Warrick had had with Nick.
Catherine had felt more comfortable with Eric every day, she had started
to trust him with the evidence and more and more she realized that she trusted
him off the job too.
And yet, today had clearly shown that Nick’s shadow
was still hanging over them.
She had seen the flash of hurt that had crossed through Eric’s eyes as
he had realized that they were keeping something from him. He had suddenly felt
like an outsider again and for a moment, Catherine had almost felt his pain
too. It had been the reason why she had told him what she had and now as she
walked towards Warrick, she could only pray that she hadn’t misjudged Eric.
---
“Nick has moved on... He’s
with Don now... Forget him...” Every single word resonated in his mind, made
him flinch and at the same time he wanted to scream at the injustice of it. How
could he forget Nick?
Nick had been there for Warrick, when he had hit rock bottom. Nick had
been there when Warrick had started to self-destruct. He had always been there.
And yet, Warrick had never noticed him, had never seen what was right in
front of him.
Not until he had lost him, not until Nick had left for New York and now
everyone told him that he had come to his senses too late.
---
“Gil, Catherine, in my office now.” Ecklie’s voice resonated through the corridor and
frowning at each other Catherin and Grissom walked towards the AD’s corner
office. Catherine could see Gil mentally going through any possible case where
they could have screwed up. Seeing him press his lips together, she smiled. Gil had come to the same result; they had worked well and there was nothing Ecklie could criticize.
Ecklie was pale and tense as he looked at them
and Catherine silently wondered what had happened. She could see from the
corner of her eyes that Grissom had tensed too in a reaction to the tension
radiating from Ecklie. Something was wrong, she suddenly realized, something
was very wrong. Before she could ask, Ecklie spoke. “I was just informed from the
sheriff that Kelly Gordon, who was released
from prison three weeks ago, has left Nevada in violation with her probation.”
She froze at the name and saw how Gil went
completely still next to her. “Where is she now?”
Gil spoke with a deadly voice and suddenly
Catherine knew before Ecklie even answered and dread made her feel sick. “New
York."
The confirmation of her worst fear made her freeze, and she saw Gil
pale. Ecklie watched them both closely and sighed. “We have to notify Nick and
the NYPD.”
Ecklie’s calm and yet determined words brought the urgency even more to
the forefront and Catherine nodded sadly. “He’s just got his life back
together, and now it’s going to be torn apart all over again.”
“I know, but we don’t have a choice.” She nodded at Ecklie’s comment and
looked at Gil who was still way to silent. “Gil?”
He looked at her and nodded curtly. “I’ll call him and notify his boss.”
Catherine couldn’t help feeling relieved. Looking at Ecklie, she could
see that he too was glad that it wasn’t him who had to tell Nick. They both
were cowards; she thought silently and quickly clasped Gil’s shoulder. “Tell
him we’re thinking of him.”
Gil nodded absently and walked out of Ecklie’s office without saying
goodbye. Catherine exchanged a look with Ecklie and shrugged. To her surprise
Ecklie didn’t seem to be offended, even smiled a bit. As their eyes met again,
she could see that he was still too concerned about Nick to be bothered about
Gil’s rudeness.
---
Grissom had been staring at the phone for what seemed to be hours now.
Every time he’d picked it up, he’d put it down again. Rationally he knew that
he had to call Nick, and yet he wondered if he would be doing more harm than
good by making the call.
Sighing again he remembered a phone call with Nick only a few days ago.
They had talked about everything when out of the blue Nick had told him that he
was glad he’d come to New York. “You know
nothing here reminds me of the abduction. I don’t even think of it anymore.”
Grissom sighed again wishing that he could say the same thing. He felt
himself reminded of Nick’s torment every day when he walked into the lab and
saw Eric working instead of Nick. It wasn’t like he didn’t like Eric or didn’t
appreciate the work he did, but not matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t
forget Nick.
At one point he’d wondered if he’d fallen in love with Nick, if that was
the reason why he still missed him, but Grissom knew that he wasn’t in love
with Nick. He hadn’t realized how much he had come to rely on Nick’s
gentleness, on his joy in life and his inert goodness until Nick had left. He
hadn’t realized how much he had come to rely on Nick’s friendship until he had
to deal with losing him.
Grissom shook his head at the thought. He hadn’t lost Nick’s friendship,
in truth, now that he’d acknowledged it, it had become stronger and he told the
younger man things that he couldn’t imagine telling anyone else. Speaking with
Nick regularly Grissom had had a front seat in observing the healing process
and he had rejoiced when Nick had spoken freely and without fear about the day
that had changed their lives.
Nick had told him more than once, that he was ready to listen, if
Grissom ever wanted to talk about that night, and he had been tempted to take
Nick up on it only to recoil. He didn’t want to wake the memories again, didn’t
want to relive those hours where he had been so powerless. Nick had made his
peace with what happened and Grissom had learned to not think about it.
He didn’t want to open a healing wound again.
Grissom stared at the picture that lay in front of him on the table.
Nick had sent it and it showed him and Don standing on top of the Empire State
Building. Nick was smiling happily, happier than Grissom had ever seen him in
Las Vegas.
Again Grissom reached for the phone, again he withdrew his hand. Calling
Nick would mean destroying that smile, destroying that happiness. Grissom
swallowed hard as he made his decision and put the information he had gotten
from Ecklie and Archie in his drawer.
He couldn’t destroy Nick again.
---
*Chapter
2 – Hollow*
*
When Warrick walked through the sliding doors at the airport, after his
visit to New York, Eric was there to pick him up. Warrick hadn’t expected him,
and for a moment he simply stared at the younger man before he smiled and
hugged him. “Thanks.”
Eric smiled lightly almost as if he knew that Warrick wasn’t thanking
him for the ride home, but for so many things more. They walked to Eric’s car
in silence and Warrick threw his bag into the trunk. “You want to go for a
drink?”
Warrick shook his head and felt Eric’s eyes on him for a second, before
he concentrated on the street again. “Not tonight.”
What was he supposed to say? Warrick shivered despite the heat in the
car and felt the silence between him and Eric get heavier and heavier by the
minute. He knew that he didn’t owe Eric an explanation and yet somehow he
wanted to talk, wanted to explain and without really noticing it, Warrick
started to speak. “He’s happy. I’ve never seen him this happy, not even before...
And you know it’s great to see him like this...”
He trailed off when Eric stopped in front of his house. Eric looked at
him and Warrick felt the dark eyes more than he saw them in the darkness of the
evening. “You want to come in?”
It was an offer and a plea at the same time and Warrick was only too
aware of the second part. Eric however didn’t seem to notice and nodded with a
smile. “Sure.”
Warrick was relieved that he wouldn’t be alone with his thoughts, but at
the same time he dreaded the questions and comments that would inevitably
follow his revelation in the car. He could almost see them hanging between him
and Eric and as they sat down on the couch with beers, he silently counted the
seconds until Eric spoke again. “How are you?”
Surprised at the words, Warrick glanced at his friend and Eric smiled
back openly. “You told me that Nick is fine, is happy and you know, that’s
great, but I don’t really care about Nick. You’re my friend, Warrick, and so
I’m wondering, how are you?”
Eric’s words both hurt Warrick and made him feel warm. Nick would have
answered him in the same way, he thought silently. On a normal day he would
have felt great about it, would have been happy that Eric might become a good
friend to him, but right now the wound of losing Nick was still too open, still
too raw and he turned away as he felt tears come into his eyes.
“You want to be alone?” A soft and gentle hand on his shoulder made
Warrick tense for a second and swallowing the lump in his throat, he nodded.
Eric once again gripped his shoulder before he released him and Warrick heard
him get up.
“You’ve got my number, if you want to talk, ok?”
Staring at the white walls in his apartment, Warrick shook his head. In
the last couple of months his life had broken apart bit by bit. First Nick’s
abduction and subsequent rescue, then his move to New York and Warrick’s
revelation about what he really felt about the man he called his best friend.
His marriage had already been on the rocks because of his job and after he had found
out what Nick really meant to him, it had only been a matter of weeks until
they had split up. Now he was divorced and alone. He had gambled on everything
and had lost.
Another shiver ran through him as he suddenly realized that he hadn’t
felt this alone for a long time. He had just sent Eric away, because he wanted
to be alone. So why did he suddenly feel so lonely?
Watching Eric walk away, Warrick called himself all kinds of names. He
didn’t want to look weak, but it was that stubborn pride that had cost him Nick
– it had been pride that stopped him reaching out for the prize, reaching out
to Nick.
He really was an idiot and with a groan, he jumped up and opened the
window. “Eric? You want another beer?”
Eric smiled at him and shook his head. “I think we need to get out of
the city.”
Warrick knew what Eric meant and silently walked out to Eric’s car. They
drove in silence and Warrick was reminded of the first time he had taken Eric
out to the hills. The case had been dreadful and he had seen the loneliness and
shadows around Eric’s eyes. It had been a spontaneous decision and had
strengthened the bond between them. Now it was Eric’s turn to take care of
Warrick. As they sat down on their usual spot and looked down at the city,
Warrick shivered silently.
“Nick used to come here after he was released from hospital.” Warrick’s
voice was so soft that Eric had a hard time hearing him. Warrick felt the look
Eric cast at him and saw how Eric made a move to take his hand only to abort
the movement in the middle. “He told me that he felt free here, that he felt
safe. But he never asked me to join him.”
The feeling of having failed Nick was overwhelming and with it came the
familiar guilt and shame. He had hidden from his friend after Nick’s rescue,
because he hadn’t been able to deal with what he had felt during those hours.
Instead of being there for him, he had gotten married and subsequently driven
Nick away.
“I was an idiot, you know, I never realized what he meant to me until he
was gone and even then, it took Hodges snarling about him to see it.” Hodges...
out of all people to open his eyes, it had been Hodges and somehow that still
angered Warrick. On the other hand, it didn’t matter anymore, did it?
Tentatively, Eric put an arm around Warrick’s shoulder and Warrick felt
the tension in his back lessening. “I don’t know what I hoped for, what I
wanted to accomplish. I should have known that he wouldn’t come back... I
should be happy that he’s recovering so well, that he’s found happiness and
yet... ”
Did it make him a bad person because he couldn’t feel elated? Did it
make him a lesser man, because he wished Nick would have found his happiness
with him? Warrick didn’t realize that he had spoken out loud until, he felt the
arm on his shoulder move and Eric grabbed his hands. “It doesn’t make you a bad
person, Rick, it just makes you human.”
Warrick sighed and knew that one day it would stop hurting. But right
now, he felt raw and open and as Eric gently put an arm around his shoulders,
he leaned gratefully against his friend.
---
It was Conrad Ecklie’s job as an assistant director of the lab to know
not only his lab, but also the people working for him. And while some might
claim that he was just a political animal and cared nothing for the lab, apart
from how he could use its reputation for his career, Conrad cared deeply about
both the lab and his people.
He had loved being a CSI. He had loved working in the field and, like
everyone else, had more often than not chafed at the boundaries set by budget
constraints. It was the real reason why he had become a bureaucrat. As much as
Grissom might believe differently, one could not change the system from the
bottom. If he wanted to get more funding for the lab, he needed to get through
to the people that mattered and they didn’t listen to an average supervisor.
Still despite what everyone thought about him, one thing hadn’t changed.
Conrad Ecklie still knew his lab and knew the people.
He had been called petty and vengeful when he had torn Grissom’s team apart
and yet he had not acted solely out of vengeance. He had seen great potential
in all the CSIs in Grissom’s team and had known that none of them could advance
while under Grissom’s supervision. He still believed that Grissom was holding
his team members back as much as he encouraged them to learn, but he had
understood Grissom’s wish to have his guys back in the aftermath of Stokes’
abduction.
Conrad had made Grissom’s wish come true had reunited the team and
subsequently watched it fall apart again in the course of mere weeks. He had
shaken his head at Grissom’s management, but he hadn’t said anything though
because he knew that any support from his side would be misunderstood and would
fall onto deaf ears.
And so he had watched while they had tried and failed to integrate a new
member and he had listened to the complaints from the new hires who all were
great CSIs with only one fault. They weren’t Nick Stokes.
Eric Delko’s request of transfer had been a surprise, but after a phone
call with a friend who worked for the Miami PD, Conrad had known all he needed
to know about Eric Delko and had gladly offered the position. It had been the
last chance he had mentally given Grissom and his team and even that last
chance had only happened because despite everything, he believed in the people
in the shift. They had proven him right and had accepted Eric Delko as their
new team member.
It seemed as if everything was perfect, but Conrad was a CSI. He saw the
small cracks that ran through the team and although he never said anything, he
continued to watch over them.
---
With Grissom gone, work was different. Not better not worse, just
different, Eric thought. In one way, he didn’t feel like he was constantly
under scrutiny but on the other hand he missed the questioning and the almost
cryptic comments.
Working with Gil Grissom had been a revelation and completely different
from working with Horatio. Eric smiled as he remembered how he’d dared to
formulate a theory on one of his first cases. Grissom had simply looked at him
and shaken his head. “Is this what the evidence tells you?”
Eric had felt like a ten year old standing in front of his teacher
again, but now after working for the team for over six months he understood
that Grissom’s comments weren’t meant to put him down. They were meant to make
him think scientifically and outside the norm.
It had been a challenge at first, but Eric now understood why the Vegas
lab was ranked second in the country. He had thought that he had worked
scientifically when he had worked for Horatio, but Grissom demanded work on a
different level.
Eric was proud to work for him, proud to be part of this team.
“Hello? Earth to Eric?” Greg’s teasing voice
drew Eric back from his musings and he smiled at Greg. “Sorry, I was just
drifting off.”
Greg grinned at him. “I could see that. What do you say we drift off
together after work?”
Eric had no plans and doing something apart from going home and sleep
sounded great especially with the easy night they had had. “Sure why not, what
did you have in mind?”
Greg shrugged but didn’t look up from the fiber he was analyzing. “We
could head over to Toto’s for breakfast and then we’ll see where the day takes
us.”
It sounded like a good idea and as Eric agreed, Greg smiled at him.
---
“We
all have our little closets”
Eric’s words had been resonating through Greg’s
mind ever since his friend had spoken them. He knew that Eric had probably not
meant it as a coming out, had probably just wanted to say that he too had
secrets and yet, Greg’s mind and heart were only too ready to interpret them
differently.
He wanted Eric.
It was this simple and yet so difficult. He
knew almost nothing about Eric, even after six months of working with him. Sure
he knew that Eric had worked in
Hell, he even knew what kind of pubs he liked
because they had gone to some bars together, and Greg had found out, that Eric
wasn’t a gambler. But in the end, all those things were superficial and didn’t
matter. Greg wanted to know more about Eric, he wanted to know what made him
laugh and happy, wanted to know what made him moan, but most of all he wanted
to chase that eternal sadness away from Eric’s dark eyes.
Ok, so maybe he didn’t just want Eric. He had
fallen in love with him.
Greg had never expected this to happen. He
wasn’t supposed to fall in love with someone from the lab. That was the big
no-no in his life. He didn’t sleep around on the job, never.
And yet he felt drawn towards Eric and wanted
to get to know him better. Only lately he seemed to be doing something wrong.
Ever since that day when they had gone diving, Eric had withdrawn from him.
Greg had enjoyed the day out at
Greg couldn’t help but being annoyed at
Warrick. First Nick, now Eric and although he had never had any intentions
towards Nick, Greg still felt as if Warrick was once again stealing a friend.
Frowning slightly, Greg bent over the clothes he was examining and although he
was concentrating on the evidence in front of him, he couldn’t help thinking
that maybe today after work he would get a second chance.
---
*
Grissom liked
It was cold. He had noticed it immediately when
he had left the airport and he still felt cold now as he stood in front of the
hotel reception. He looked forward to the convention. Unlike many of his
colleagues he enjoyed the scientific interaction with peers, enjoyed the
discussions that immediately started when two or three forensic experts met,
but most of all he enjoyed the fact that he wasn’t a leader while at a convention.
He had never seen himself as a leader, as a
manager, as someone who inspired people and yet he had become a boss. Just how
in the world had that happened?
Grissom smiled wryly as he unpacked his
suitcase and meticulously placed every item in the closet. He hated wrinkled
clothes, but that wasn’t what the smile was about. It was a smile full of irony
and self-mocking. He knew why he had reached the position he had currently. It
wasn’t because he had shown great leadership or had been a specifically
political animal. He simply had been the only choice.
He wasn’t a leader, he was a scientist, and
Grissom mused as he walked outside and immediately started to shiver again. His
reaction made him shake his head; he clearly wasn’t used to a colder climate.
“Sunshine spoiled.” He muttered and then
flushed when a dark haired man looked at him quizzically. Grissom averted his
eyes, but the stranger simple smiled. “Me too.”
Surprised and slightly annoyed, Grissom looked
closer at the man and immediately noted that he was studied just as intensely
by dark eyes. “You’re here for the convention?”
Even without the question, Grissom would have
known that the other man was law enforcement too. It had been in his look. The
other man was medium height, slender, but muscular with dark hair and dark eyes
that were intense in the angular face. He looked good, Grissom thought, but
pushed the thought aside immediately. Seeing that the man waited for his
answer, Grissom nodded. “Yes, and you?”
The other man nodded and extended his hand. “Don Eppes, FBI LA office.”
A fed? Grissom frowned and shook his head before he took the offered hand and
smiled. “Gil Grissom, CSI Vegas.”
Eppes looked surprised and then delighted.
“Wow, it’s great to meet you. I have read and heard a lot about you.”
His smile grew bit mischievous as he continued.
“And from what I hear, you really like the Feds.”
Grissom growled lightly, but before he could
say anything, Eppes pointed towards the bar. “Why don’t we have a drink, before
we brave the cold outside?”
Considering his options were
either the cold weather outside or the cozy looking bar, Grissom decided that
maybe having a drink with a Fed was doable. Not every FBI agent was an idiot
after all.
A couple minutes later, they sat in a comfortable
booth and Grissom once again studied Eppes. “How do you know about my affection
for the Feds?”
Eppes grinned at the wording and shrugged. “I
clashed a couple of time with Agent Culpepper and the last time he accused me
of being almost as good at sharing information as you are.”
The fact that they had a mutual enemy did not
made a friend out of Don Eppes, but it did make him more likable and after they
ordered Grissom looked at the plan Eppes had put on the table. “What kind of
seminars are you attending?”
Eppes told him and soon enough they were
engrossed in a discussion on the merits of certain forensic techniques.
---
Gil Grissom was a lot more fun to talk to than
Don would have ever thought. He had a wicked sense of humor and a very, very sharp
tongue if he didn’t like someone or something.
Don could easily see why Culpepper and Grissom
hadn’t gotten along. Smiling he wondered what Charlie would think of Grissom,
but the smile turned into a frown. He didn’t want to think of Charlie, not now when
he was miles away from him, not when he had signed up for this convention
especially because it was miles away from his brother.
The sudden silence at the table startled him
and he felt Grissom’s eyes on him and faked a smile. “I guess I’m more tired
than I thought. I’ll go to my room, will I see you around?”
Grissom still studied him but smiled warmly and
nodded. “I guess, you will.”
Don put some money on the table and left the
bar. He felt drained from the flight and from the change in temperature and he
was glad that he had a day to relax before the convention started.
---
*
“I was thinking that maybe we could go to LA
for a weekend, have some fun, do some diving, just hang out, you know?” Greg
noticed how Eric froze at the suggestion and immediately called himself an
idiot. He’d come on too strong, hadn’t he?
Eric was silent for a moment, and then shook
his head. “I can’t Greg. I’m sorry.”
Surprised at the sorrow he heard in Eric’s
voice, Greg looked at his friend and paled as he saw the pain in the dark eyes.
“What’s wrong, Eric? Was it something I said?”
Eric shook his head and swallowed hard. Greg
could see how he calmed himself before he spoke again. “I left
Greg paled as he remembered suddenly how tense
Eric had seemed when they had suited up on that day. Instinctively he reached
out and grabbed Eric’s hand in support. “And I even teased you about your
hesitation. I’m sorry, Eric, I really am.”
“Thanks, Greg, but it wasn’t your fault. I
didn’t think it would awake so many memories. But just being in the suit again,
being in the water again...” Eric trailed off and angrily brushed his hand over
his face. “You know, I loved diving. It was one of the few places where I felt
completely at ease and free...”
Again he trailed off, but Greg understood what
Eric hadn’t said. He suddenly felt angry at those unknown people in
“I’m really sorry.” Greg’s apology was once
again met with Eric shaking his head. “It’s not your fault. I should have said
something, but I forced the issue.”
They both fell silent. Greg looked at Eric and
felt as if the somber mood was encouraging him to move. He wanted to take the
sadness away from Eric, wanted to make him feel good again and slowly as if not
to scare Eric, he brushed over his hand.
“You should have told me. I wouldn’t have
laughed at you.” Eric smiled wryly and Greg grinned a bit in response. “Well maybe a little, but not if you had told me why.”
Feeling bolder, Greg lifted Eric’s hand and
raised it to his lips. It was a gesture of comfort and seduction in one, but
before he could even kiss Eric’s hand, Eric snatched it away. Greg felt
something in him break as he saw the shock in Eric’s face. Had he
misinterpreted Eric’s comment?
“I... Greg...” Eric broke off and a shiver ran
through his body. Greg wanted to run away, wanted to go home and hide, but he
knew that he would have to face Eric again at work and so he stayed. “I’m
sorry; I thought your comment about closets... I guess I misunderstood.”
Eric was biting his lip as he stared at the
place where their hands had just been. For a long time he was silent, but when
he looked up his face was blank. “You didn’t. I am bi.”
Greg wasn’t sure what was worse to hit on Eric
and find out that he wasn’t bi or to hit on him and find out he was, but not
interested in Greg. Some of his despair must have shown in his eyes, because
Eric suddenly leaned forward and captured his hand. “I’m sorry, Greg, but I
just can’t...”
Again there was a lot of pain in Eric’s voice,
but Greg was too hurt himself to really care right now and withdrawing his
hand, he put some money on the table and got up quickly. “I guess I better go.
I’ll see you at work.”
He didn’t look back, didn’t check if Eric
followed him and didn’t really allow himself to think about what had happened
until he was home and in his bed. Only then did he finally allow the hurt to
settle and engulf him. He had made a fool out of himself and with an angry
punch against his pillow, Greg once again renewed his vow to never, ever get
involved with someone at work.
It wasn’t worth it. Never.
---
Eric wasn’t sure what he was doing in this bar.
He certainly didn’t want to be here and yet he couldn’t leave. His eyes fell on
one of the couples snogging in the corner. They looked happy and Eric looked
away with a heavy heart.
He had had that once, and had lost it.
Would he ever find it again?
Greg had offered him all that, had offered him
love. And yet, Eric hadn’t been able to say yes. He didn’t love Greg.
‘You might learn to love him.’ It was a
seductive voice in his head, but Eric pushed it aside. He didn’t want to learn
to love someone. He had experienced such a wonderful love with Speed...
Eric sighed as he thought of his dead partner
and swallowed hard. No, he thought, it wouldn’t have been fair to Greg, no
matter how much wanted to feel loved again, no matter how much he hated being
alone.
And that was the reason why he was here, wasn’t
it? Because as much as he despised himself, he needed to feel again, needed to
be touched and here he could do both without anyone expecting more from him. It
would have been selfish and unfair to take that kind of satisfaction from Greg,
but here with some stranger...
“Hey handsome, you new here?” The dark haired man slipped into the booth and smiled openly at Eric.
“I’m Tom and I know you’re new because I would have noticed you before.”
The line was as old as mankind and still it
made Eric smile. He looked at Tom and noticed immediately how the dark eyes and
hair stood out against the pale complexion of the other man. Tom was about as tall
as he, slender and dressed to leave no doubt that he was on the prowl. Eric
smiled and ordered a drink, when Tom’s hand slowly started to caress his leg.
The rush of lust that ran through Eric caught
him by surprised and having observed Eric closely, Tom immediately went in for
the kill. “I’m just looking for a good time, no strings, and no attachments. Just a good time.”
His breath was hot against Eric’s skin and with
a small moan Eric surrendered. Their lips met and after a moment of hesitation,
they found a rhythm and their tongues slowly danced against each other. It was
far more intimate than Eric liked though and with a gasp he broke free from
Tom. “No more kisses, ok?”
Tom studied him for a moment and with a nod of
his head pointed towards the dark room. “Let’s go over there then.”
For a second, Eric wondered whether he should
go, but his body’s demands were too loud and overrode any concerns he had as he
followed Tom towards the dark room.
The air was stale and smelled of sex. Eric
could hear the moans and grunts of the other men in the room, but before his
eyes could get adjusted, Tom pressed him against the wall. “What do you want?
Do you want to fuck me or want me to fuck you?”
Eric shivered for a moment. He didn’t do that
and leaning back towards Tom, he answered with another suggestion. “Let me suck
you off, and then you suck me ok?”
Tom didn’t object when Eric reversed their
position and slid down on his knees. He didn’t really think about what he was
doing when he unzipped the other man, put protection on him and started to lick
the hard cock. He was good at it, Eric knew, but as he sucked Tom to climax, he
did it almost mechanically. Tom’s hands at his head directed the thrusts and
Eric almost gagged at one hard thrust right before he felt Tom go rigid.
When it was over, Tom gently pulled him up and
they immediately traded places. It was Eric’s turn now and he moaned as he was
encased in heat, felt the pressure and after a few tentative thrusts Tom let
him move almost freely. Eric felt shivers run up and down his spine, felt the
familiar tingling and cried out as the feelings became too much and crashed
over him in waves and waves.
He felt weak afterwards, but still had enough
sense of mind to help Tom get back up. The other man smiled at him and gave him
a peck on his cheek. “That was great; I’ll see you around won’t I?”
Eric watched him leave the dark room and with a
sigh, he leaned back against the wall. He had gotten exactly what he had come
for; relief and anonymity. So why did he feel so hollow?
---
*
Nick listened to Greg’s rambling and sighed
silently. He liked Greg, wanted him to be happy, but Greg had a tendency to
fall for the pretty guys, and so far it had never ended well.
“Greg, at least you know now.” His words
wouldn’t help Greg right now and Nick knew that, but there was nothing he could
say to make Greg feel better and the sigh from the other end of the phone
confirmed that.
“I just want what you have with Don, is that
too much to ask?” Nick smiled sadly and looked at Don who was lounging on the
couch. “No it isn’t, but you know I didn’t look for it. It just happened.
You’ll meet someone and he’ll be the one.”
Nick saw how Don looked up and for a moment
their eyes met. Nick saw the deep love in Don’s eyes and hoped that his eyes
conveyed the same emotion. For a moment he was distracted, but Greg’s annoyed
‘Nick’ brought him immediately back to the situation. “I can’t go back to work
now, can I?”
Shocked at the words, Nick shook his head not
realizing that Greg couldn’t see him. “What are you talking about? Eric won’t
harass you, I am sure. You said he’s a nice guy. Hey, you took a chance, that’s
more than I ever did with Warrick, so be proud of yourself.”
Greg was silent and despite the situation Nick
smiled quickly, because he remembered the many talks he had had with Greg after
he had fallen for Warrick. Greg grumbled something about it being a completely
different thing and Nick laughed gently. “It was, yes because the Warrick I
knew was straight. Eric isn’t, and you said that he didn’t react badly. He
won’t make life hard for you.”
“I’m just so sick of being alone.” Greg sounded
desolate and Nick sighed feeling bad for his friend. “You won’t be forever.
You’ll find someone.”
The silence on the other side of the continent
told Nick that Greg didn’t believe him. Don walked over and glanced at him with
a raised eyebrow before he sat down next to Nick and pulled him in his arms.
Nick felt some of the tension leaving his body as he snuggled up to his partner.
“Greg, you’ve got to talk with Eric. Clear the air and make sure you can work
with him.”
Greg was silent for a long time, but then his
voice came through again. “I know I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
They talked for a bit longer when Greg suddenly
remembered something. “By the way, you can expect a phone call from Grissom,
he’s going to a convention in Washington soon, and maybe he’ll come up and
visit you.”
Nick smiled thinking of Tony and Gibbs and
whether or not Grissom would meet them at the convention. Grissom and Gibbs,
the thought alone made him smile. “I’ll call him; I’ve got some friends down in
DC.”
Saying goodbye, Nick put the phone down and
sighed. Don pulled him closer and looked at him curiously. “What’s wrong?”
Nick shrugged. “Greg says he’s in love with
Eric, but Eric isn’t interested in him.”
Frowning now, Don prompted him to continue when
he remained silent. “And?”
Looking at his partner Nick sighed and shook
his head. “Greg looks for love at the wrong place and doesn’t realize that what
he looks for is right in front of him.”
Don frowned a bit and looked at Nick. “Warrick?”
The thought made Nick laugh lightly but he
shook his head. “No, Grissom.”
---
*
Grissom looked forward to a day of solitude in
the Smithsonian. He loved the huge museum and if he had had the time, he would
have spent weeks just exploring. As it was he had one day before the convention
started, so he had to hurry to make the most of it. He had made a plan of the
exhibits he wanted to see and as he waited in the queue he went through them
once again. When his phone rang he cursed himself for taking it with him, but
he was after all a creature of habit and as he looked at the caller ID he was
pleasantly surprised. “Nick? You again?”
As soon as the words were out, he cringed. It
sounded as if he didn’t want to talk with Nick, but the chuckle he got from
Nick’s voice was tight and drawn and it alerted
Grissom like nothing else could. “What’s wrong?”
Immediately Kelly Gordon’s face appeared in
front of Grissom’s mind and he prayed silently that his decision not to call
Nick would not cause Nick any further pain. He wouldn’t be able to stand it,
Grissom thought, but his thoughts were cut short when Nick continued. “Tony is
being framed for murder.”
Grissom knew that Tony was one of the friends
that Nick had found since he had left
Nick groaned, but as he spoke his voice was
sharper and colder. “Because I know him, because I know that he couldn’t rape
and kill someone. Because he is my friend.”
People
lie, evidence doesn’t.
How many times had he told Nick that? Grissom
smiled as he remembered a case long, long ago. It had been one of Nick’s first
murder cases and their suspect had sworn that he had broken into the house but
not killed the woman. Grissom had not believed him, he had looked at the
evidence and it had told him that the guy was guilty. Nick however had believed
the other man and had gone back to the crime scene. He had searched for about a
day, but when he had come back he had had the proof that their suspect wasn’t
the killer. Grissom remembered how he had scolded Nick despite the fact that he
had been right and he grinned lightly as Nick’s answer came back to him.
You
know Gris, people lie, but sometimes they tell the truth.
“Gris?”
Nick’s voice drew him back from his musings and
he made his decision as he stepped out of the queue silently saying goodbye to
the exhibits he had wanted to see. “What do you need from me?”
He knew already what Nick probably wanted him
to do, but he could be wrong and it was his habit to always ask. “Help Tony.”
Nick’s voice was calm, but Grissom heard the
plea underneath it and it got more pronounced as he continued to speak. “Mac
sent Stella and Hawkes and they’re great, but I thought that you are in the
area and Tony needs all help he can get...”
This time Grissom was surprised. Not so much
about the fact that Mac Taylor had sent two of his people to support Gibbs, but
that Nick thought it wasn’t enough. “You don’t trust Stella?”
He meant it teasingly, but Nick reacted as if
he had meant it seriously. “I trust them Gris, I do, but you’re... you’re the
one who found me. You and not Stella, not Mac and not Sara, you found me. You
saved me... It’s a different level of trust.”
The soft words floored Grissom. He had known
that Nick trusted him, but had never understood to what level that trust went.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and walked towards the street where he
waved at a cab. “Give me the address.”
But even as he sat in the car, he heard Nick’s
voice again.
It’s a
different level of trust.
Kelly Gordon’s face appeared again in his mind
and closing his eyes, Grissom tried to banish the voice that told him he didn’t
deserve Nick’s trust.
---
*Chapter
3 – Sorting things out*
*
With Grissom in
They all nodded and walked in different directions. Catherine wanted to
call Greg back, when she noticed how Eric lingered. He seemed to wait for Greg
to catch up and as they stood next to each other, Catherine saw how Eric looked
at Greg sadly. “Can we talk after the shift?”
Greg had tensed, and his gaze was equally sad as he shrugged. “Sure,
just call me.”
Catherine watched as they parted and wished that she knew what had
happened between them. A wry smile at her curiosity crossed her face, it wasn’t
her business and yet she wanted to know because she wanted to help. She
couldn’t though and with another sigh, she concentrated on her own assignment
and left the room to look for Detective Vega.
---
Eric was driving silently, his eyes on the street, his concentration on
the non-existent traffic. Sara waited for five minutes before she had enough of
the silence. “You ok?”
Her words jolted him around and he immediately nodded. “Yeah, I am, just
couldn’t sleep. Not completely used to the night shift yet, you know.”
Sara smiled and nodded as if she believed him, but she knew that there
was more. Eric had never looked this bad, even right after transferring from
“So what did Luis say?” Eric looked relieved that she didn’t question
him any further and that more than anything told Sara that whatever bothered
him was serious. “He didn’t say much; just that the victim was a white male in
his teens and that it looked like suicide.”
Sara sighed. Teenage suicides were something she had seen too many times
since she had come to Las Vegas. It seemed as if the kids in the gambler’s city
were more unhappy than kids in other places. She
mentioned it to Eric who frowned a bit. “Yeah, we didn’t get that many
suicides, but we had more than our share of drug related deaths.”
Eric turned into the dirt road that led to the crime scene and Sara
nodded slowly. “Suicide in installments, isn’t it?”
She didn’t get a reply, but didn’t expect one as they had just arrived
at the scene. Detective Perez stood next to the yellow crime scene tape and
smiled as they greeted him. Sara liked working with Perez. He took the CSIs
seriously and knew how to act at a crime scene, working with him was almost as
good as working with Detective Vartann.
“Glad you’re here. I was afraid I’d get cooked before you arrived.” Sara
saw how Eric smiled before he said something in Spanish that made Perez grin.
She kept forgetting that Eric spoke Spanish and while the two men bantered a
bit, she walked over towards the dead boy. The sight of the neatly dressed boy,
the folded hands and the calm look on his face made her heart ache.
What had made this guy so sad, so depressed that he had decided to end
his life? She started to take samples when Eric called her name. “Sara, we have
another body.”
Quickly she walked over and swallowed hard as she saw the girl. Dressed
in a black gown, hair nicely done and festive make up she should have belonged
at a party and not in the desert. Sara met Eric’s eyes and sighed. “Suicide pact?”
He nodded and shook his head. “Maybe, we’ll see when the autopsy comes
back.”
His reaction made her smile. When Eric had come to Vegas he had more
than once gotten Grissom’s lecture about following the evidence and nothing
else. It had rubbed off on him as it seemed and sharing a quick smile with
Perez Sara went to work.
---
*
Grissom wasn’t particularly sad that he had missed some of the lectures,
but he still felt as if he had to make up for the lost time and signed up for
two more panels. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to concentrate on the
speeches and the lectures, but at least he had to try. With a smile, he thought
of something Stella Bonasera had told him right before she had left for the
airport. “The nice thing about being just
an external support is that you don’t have to write the report afterwards.”
She had been right, he thought with a smile, but the smile faded as he
remembered Nick’s phone call right after Tony had been cleared. Nick had been
so grateful and it had only enhanced Grissom’s shame and guilt.
“I knew that I could trust you
with this. I knew that you would get Tony out.” Nick’s voice had trailed off
for a moment before he had spoken again. “Just like you got me out.”
He had wanted to tell Nick right then that he didn’t deserve his trust,
that he had broken it in the worst possible way. He hadn’t because Nick had
gone on to talk about some cases and the sheer normality and happiness in
Nick’s voice had made him remain silent.
Grissom cursed himself silently. He was a coward, nothing but a lying
coward.
“Hey, where have you been?” He turned around surprised as he noticed Don
Eppes walk up next to him. The Fed grinned lightly at Grissom’s frown. “Hey, I
wasn’t taking attendance or anything, I was merely jealous that you managed to
escape some of the most boring lectures that I ever had to endure.”
Normally Grissom would have been annoyed that someone dared to question
him about his whereabouts especially if that someone was a fed. Surprisingly
enough though he had to smile at Eppes face and shook his head. “I helped NCIS
with a case.”
“NCIS?” Eppes frowned a bit and then
laughed. “You could have asked me for help.”
Smiling despite himself Grissom looked at the other man. “Was it this
bad?”
Eppes shrugged. “I am not a big fan of theoretical concepts that’ll
never work out in real life. Although thanks to my brother and his math I have
started to see that there are concepts in theory that work even in real life.”
He said it with a wry grin and Grissom wondered about it for a moment
until he connected the dots. “You’re brother is Charles Eppes?”
Eppes grinned and shook his head in something akin to awe, not awe for
Grissom though Grissom realized immediately but awe for Eppes’ brother. “He
works with me on some cases and it’s amazing how he helps us. I was never into
math, you know, but now with him working with us... It’s like a completely new
universe has opened up for me.”
He
trailed off for a moment and as he spoke again, his voice was somehow subdued
and almost a bit uncertain. “I never thought I would ever want to feel at home
in Charlie’s world, but now I wish I’d understand what he does.”
From what Grissom had heard about Charles Eppes, there were very few people
that could understand what the math professor did and as he told Don so, Eppes
grinned. “Well, not his cognitive something theory, just what drives him you
know what fascinates him about numbers. And why his calculations are so much
better than any technique I learned at
Grissom refrained from making a comment about the education at
Even as he said it, Grissom frowned. “And if you ever tell one of my
colleagues that I told you that, I’ll have to kill you. After all I always
preach that nothing matters but the evidence.”
Eppes grinned at the comment and shrugged. “It’s true, but evidence can
be false and if you look at it out of context, it might lead you astray.”
Grissom understood that only too well, especially after the case he had
just helped NCIS with. “Well, I guess I just had a very real life experience of
how right that statement is.”
Intrigued Eppes looked at Grissom to continue and as they walked towards
the next conference room, Grissom told him as much as he could about the case.
They discussed some of the finer details of fingerprint faking; Nick forgotten
for the moment.
---
*
Hearing Horatio’s voice had been like a shock. It had woken memories
that Eric had thought buried and at the same time it had made him feel wistful.
Horatio had always been more than a boss, he had always been a mentor, a
protector and at the very end a friend too. His relationship with H had been so
completely different from the relationship he had with Grissom now and with a
sigh, Eric realized that he missed Horatio.
‘You call him a friend and yet you didn’t call him once since you left
“Her prints on him, his prints on her... It was a suicide pact.” Eric
shook his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand why people killed
themselves. He did. What he didn’t understand was why teenagers did it. He
couldn’t help feeling that someone should have seen it, should have heard the
cry for help.
“Al called, the autopsy is done.” Nodding at Sara’s words, Eric followed
her down to see the coroner who smiled grimly as they walked into the morgue.
“You’re right on time. I just got the tox screen
back.”
He showed them the sheet of paper and Eric knew immediately what he was
looking at, it was the perfect cocktail if someone wanted to kill themselves.
The last ingredient though made him frown. “What’s that for?”
Al Robbins shrugged. “It’s what separates the attempts from the
suicides. It’s a drug that enhances the rate at which the other drugs are taken
into the blood stream and balances the stomach acids.”
Eric understood. “So no vomiting, no possibility of
getting the drugs out of your system.”
Robbins nodded sadly. “They knew what they were doing, and they had
help.”
Interested Eric now looked at Sara who had perked up too. “Why do you
say that?”
Robbins pointed at some of the drugs. “You don’t get that stuff over the
counter, this is prescription medicine.”
“Could a doctor have prescribed them any of the drugs?” Sara’s question
sounded as if she didn’t believe it herself and Robbins shook his head. “No, especially not with these.”
He pulled the girl’s arm up and showed them the scars at her wrists.
“You know they say that third time is the charm and from what I see, it was
true for her.”
Eric felt nothing but an all encompassing sadness as he looked at the
scars, there were two distinct sets crossing the girl’s wrists. When he looked
at Sara, he could see the same sadness in her eyes. They left the morgue in
silence and the melancholic feeling seemed to accompany them until Sara broke
the spell. “Why does someone kill themselves?”
“Because they have nothing left to live for.” The words were out before
Eric could stop them. Sara tensed next to him and stopped walking as if she had
run into a wall. “Eric?”
Her eyes were suddenly concerned and worried and Eric cursed himself
while he shook his head. “It’s not what you think, you can check my wrists if
you want.”
She didn’t look as if his answer had made her feel any better and Eric
sighed. He wanted to say something, when she shook her head. “I believe you,
but that doesn’t mean that you weren’t there once.”
Her words made him remember the night after Speed had died. He had gone down to the beach after helping
Alexx perform the autopsy. He had looked at the sea,
at the endless coming and going of the waves and had silently wondered if
anyone would miss him if he just went out there and let himself get carried
away. He hadn’t noticed someone sitting down next to him until he had felt a
hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t
even think about it.”
Alexx’ voice had been raw from tears and he had
not had the strength to lie to her. “Why not, Alexx? Why
not follow him?”
She had looked at him and the pain he had seen
in her eyes had mirrored his. “Because I cannot lose two sons in one day.”
They had spent the rest of the night sitting at
the beach crying for the one they had lost. When the sun had come up she had
looked at him. “I won’t let you leave
until you promise that I won’t have your body on my table tomorrow.”
Until today, Eric wondered how she had known.
It didn’t matter though, he had promised her and he had kept his word.
The memory faded and Eric saw that Sara looked at him concerned. “Eric,
are you ok?”
She took him at his arm and gently steered him towards the break room.
Eric sat down and looking at his hands he was shocked to see that they were
trembling. He knew why he couldn’t forget the memories, knew that talking to H
had woken them again and yet he tried to force them down again.
“Eric?” Sara sat down next to him and handed him a coffee. Her eyes were
still full of concern and seeing that she was honestly concerned and not simply
curious, he took a deep breath and told her the truth. “I lost my lover three
years ago. He was shot while working a case. When he died, I... I really felt
as if I had lost everything.”
When he fell silent, Sara didn’t speak for a moment, when he felt her
hand cover his gently. “I’m sorry Eric, I’m sorry, I asked.”
“You don’t have to be. I’ll be alright.” For a moment Sara looked as if
she wanted to say something else, but then she nodded. “Let’s find out who
helped them.”
---
*
Don wasn’t a scientist and he certainly wasn’t a profiler, but one
didn’t become LA’s top FBI agent by sheer luck and if there was one thing that
Don was good at it was reading people, listening to them and hearing what they
didn’t say.
Listening to Grissom talk about the NCIS case he had helped with was
interesting in many ways, but what made it fascinating was the one thing
Grissom always came back to, or the one person - Grissom’s friend Nick.
“Did you work with him?” For a second Don wondered whether it had been a
good idea to ask, because he felt that Grissom was too private a person to
disclose such things voluntarily, but when Grissom nodded, he felt relieved.
“He was part of my team; he transferred to
Again there was more to the story that the simple words told, but Don
remained silent and simply waited for Grissom to continue. “We kept in touch,
so when he called me, it wasn’t like I was going to miss much at the conference
anyway.”
It was said with a wry smile and Don smiled. “Well, believe me, you
didn’t.”
They sat in companionable silence for a moment, when Grissom suddenly
looked at him. “If someone you cared about were in danger, would you tell them
even at the risk of re-opening old wounds?”
The question sounded casual, the wording theoretical but Grissom’s eyes
told Don a different story. It was personal for the other man and because of
it; it deserved a moment of thinking. “Theoretically?
Yes. In real life? I try again and again to keep my
brother safe, to keep him away from danger, to protect him from the dark side
of my job... And every time he finds out he’s furious with me.”
Grissom’s eyes met his for a moment. “And if I knew your brother were in
danger and wouldn’t tell him because I was afraid to hurt him?”
The mere thought of Charlie in danger made the hairs stand up in Don’s
neck and suddenly gripping his drink hard, he looked at Grissom. “We’re talking
hypothetically aren’t we?”
Eyes widening a bit at the unmasked threat in Don’s voice, Grissom
nodded and Don relaxed. He thought about the question and finally shook his
head. “I’d forgive you for not telling him, for protecting him from being
hurt, but I’d never forgive you for not telling me.”
---
*
“Are you off?” Greg looked up when he heard Eric’s voice. His friend
looked tired and sad, and for the first time since he had bolted out of the
restaurant, Greg realized that he wasn’t alone in this mess. He might have
caused it, but he wasn’t alone in it.
The realization made him feel almost guilty and with a nod he followed
Eric to his car. “Where do you want to go?”
Eric smiled a bit before he answered. “Out of the city… somewhere where
we can talk and think.”
Surprised at the answer, Greg got into the car and they drove out of the
city in silence for about two minutes until Greg couldn’t remain silent
anymore. “Where are we going?”
Eric shrugged. “Warrick showed me this spot out in the mountains where
you have the best view of the city. It’s a breathtaking spot and lately it’s
become my spot when I need to sort things out or really think about something.”
Despite himself, Greg felt touched that Eric took him to a place that
meant this much to him. It proved that Nick had been right, Greg hadn’t screwed
up completely.
The spot really was stunning. Eric grabbed a canteen out of his truck
and two mugs and as they sat down together, Greg smiled as he smelled coffee.
“You thought of everything.”
It was almost too much, too close to a romantic date and the thought
made Greg’s smile fade. Eric had watched him and as Greg looked up, he saw that
Eric’s eyes had darkened. It was now or never and steeling himself, he looked
at Eric. “How badly did I screw up?”
Eric was silent for a moment, then he shook his
head. “You didn’t screw up or not anymore than I did. I... I never wanted to
lead you on or something. I just didn’t realize that you...”
As Eric trailed off again, Greg finished the sentence for him. “That I
was falling for you?”
A pained expression crossed Eric’s face and he nodded. Greg sighed.
“Look, I didn’t expect that either, but it happened and yesterday, I just felt
like taking a chance.”
For a while they both were silent until Eric spoke again. “I’m sorry.”
Greg frowned; shouldn’t he be the one apologizing? Somehow he had
imagined the entire conversation to happen completely different. “You can’t
chose who you fall for, so don’t be sorry... I’ll
wallow in misery for a while, but as long as I know that I’ll still have a
friend when I’m done wallowing, then I’ll survive.”
When Eric remained silent, Greg looked at him and saw that Eric stared
at the skyline of Vegas shimmering in the early morning sun. “Eric?”
“I promise you that I’ll always be your friend.” Eric spoke silently,
but his voice was intense and honest and Greg felt as if a huge load just fell
off his shoulders. It still hurt that Eric wasn’t interested in him, and he
would mourn for what might have been, but he hadn’t lost his friendship.
---
*In the plane between
Grissom liked to fly. It always felt like he was suspended between two
places; as if he wasn’t in one place but at the same time he hadn’t arrived at
the next. Flying felt as if he wasn’t responsible for things for once and that
alone felt freeing.
Today though the flight brought little relief from his thoughts and the
more he thought about his decision not to inform Nick the more he cursed
himself making it. He had to tell his friend, had to tell him about Kelly and
the second voice on the tape.
Don’s words came back to him. I
would never forgive you for not telling me.
Eppes had understood him, had understood his need to protect Nick, but
at the same time he had been appalled that Grissom had not informed anyone
close to Nick about the danger. And that was the solution, wasn’t it?
He could tell Don Flack about the danger and thus avoid reopening Nick’s
wounds. Grissom felt relief spread through him as he finally found a way out of
his dilemma and as he sighed deeply, he ignored the small voice in the back of
his mind that told him he was a coward for pushing the hard decision of whether
or not to tell Nick towards the one person that cared for Nick more than anyone
else.
---
*
Warrick frowned at the mess in the house and exchanged a look with
Catherine and Grissom. They had been called to a double homicide downtown and
after determining the victims’ address they had driven there. Now, Warrick
wished to be anywhere but inside the old house.
It was a mess and as he looked at the kitchen where half eaten food was
rotting next to stacks of unwashed plates, he shook his head. “How can people
live like this?”
“Every person has a different perception of tidiness.” Grissom’s word
caused Warrick to stare at his boss incredulously. “Gris, you can’t honestly believe
that anyone would call this clean.”
Grissom shrugged and opened the fridge and knowing that he wouldn’t get
an answer; Warrick opened the door to the next room and gasped silently.
Compared to the mess in the other rooms this room was squeaky clean. Almost
tentatively Warrick walked inside and looked around. There wasn’t much
furniture in the room; instead it was filled with boxes. Boxes
without any labels or markings. Suspicious, Warrick carefully opened one
and gaped as he realized that he was looking at a cardboard box full of casino
chips.
“Gris, Cat, you have to see this.” They both walked into the room
quickly and stared at Warrick’s find. “Are they real?”
Warrick shook his head and carefully looked at one of the chips. “I
don’t think so. I mean why would any casino store chips in
such a place?”
“Well, I guess that could be called motive, couldn’t it? Which casino is
it?” Brass’ voice interrupted their thought process and Warrick looked again at
the chips. “The Montecito.”
Brass smiled darkly as he looked at the others. “Well, let’s pay them a
visit.”
---
*
Don was watching Charlie and Larry argue about some anomaly that he
would never have a chance of understanding and with a smile he turned towards
Colby. “Math fight.”
Colby grinned, but Charlie, having heard the comment frowned at Don. “It
wasn’t a fight, Don, it was a scientific argument.”
Seeing how his brother’s eyes sparkled, Don automatically clamped down
on his feelings before he lifted his hands in a mock surrender. “Of course,
Charlie, you wouldn’t fight about something scientific.”
Charlie looked at him for a long time obviously trying to figure out
whether or not Don was taking him serious or not. Finally he smiled brightly
and grabbing Don’s hand he pulled him in front of the black board. “Larry
pointed out that I have forgotten to take the unpredictability of the random
walk into account in this case. So when I added the formulas for this, I got a
completely new equation...”
Not understanding a thing of what Charlie was actually trying to
explain, Don nevertheless listened to Charlie’s explanations, knowing that
whatever it was that Charlie had taken into account was probably going to help
him catch the killer.
He stood back a bit and looked at the formulas and equations on the
black board. He had been surrounded by blackboards and numbers all his life and
now as he stood in Charlie’s office looking at the result of his brother’s
latest calculations, he suddenly remembered his talk with Gil Grissom during
the conference.
“I never thought I would ever
want to feel at home in Charlie’s world, but now I wish I’d understand what he
does.”
I wish I understand what he does; he thought again and immediately
corrected himself. It wasn’t what Charlie did that mattered, it was what drove
him.
What did his brother see when he looked at those numbers and letters?
What did Charlie see when he looked at Don?
“Don, you with me?” Snapping back at reality, Don
saw Charlie look at him and smiled. “Sorry, I just
drifted a bit. So do we have a lead?”
Charlie nodded and handed him a scoring sheet with three suspects on it.
Don thanked him and left the office with Colby in tow.
---
*
“Hi, I’m Danny McCoy, Head of Montecito Security, How can I help you?”
The man who greeted them with a friendly smile was a lot younger than Warrick
would have guessed. It showed, he thought silently how assumptions could screw
perception, but after a quick glance at the man he extended his hand and
introduced himself and Brass.
“This is Captain Brass and I’m Warrick Brown from CSI. Can we talk
somewhere private?” McCoy’s face immediately grew serious and turned towards a
well hidden elevator. “Sure, let’s talk in my office.”
Inside the elevator, Warrick observed McCoy silently and noted that
although young, he was clearly confident in his skin. Still, he could see the
concern in the blue eyes as McCoy turned towards him. “Did something happen to
one of our guests?”
Letting Brass take the lead, Warrick watched McCoy as Brass explained
why they were here. He had obviously known about the fake chips and as soon as
Brass mentioned them he nodded. “Yes, we’ve had two incidents so far where we
discovered fake chips.”
“Did you notify the gaming commission?” Brass’ tone was abrupt and
Warrick sighed, Brass didn’t like dealing with casino owners or security and
often was borderline rude when dealing with them. Danny however wasn’t deterred
by the interrogation and as they walked into the security room he nodded.
“Yeah, we notified them and Metro. But neither the police nor we have had any
leads so far. Do you want a coffee or anything?”
Looking at McCoy sitting behind the large wooden desk, Warrick had a
hard time reconciling the easy going man he had watched flirt with some girls
at the casino floor with the confident professional he saw now. Brass declined
the offer for drinks and when Warrick too shook his head, Brass explained about
the two dead men.
“So you think we had something to do with this?” McCoy had tensed at the
implicit accusation and Warrick saw how the easy going attitude vanished in the
blink of an eye. “We’re not assuming anything; we’re just asking if you knew
who faked the chips.”
McCoy’s voice was cold as he replied. “I already told you that we hadn’t
found anything yet. If we had, we would have notified the police immediately.
This is not the wild west, Captain Brass.”
No, Warrick thought, but sometimes it was close to it. Brass asked a
couple of questions, while Warrick looked around. Finally the interview came to
a close and Warrick felt McCoy looking at him and immediately addressed him.
“Could you make us a copy of the incidents where you found the fake chips?
Maybe the victims were amongst your guests.”
McCoy nodded, but then shook his head. “Why don’t you give me their
pictures and I run them though the facial recognition program?”
For a moment, Warrick wanted to say yes, but seeing Brass’ look, he
shook his head. “Sorry, but we have to do this at our lab.”
A small smile ran over McCoy’s face as he nodded and called someone
named Mike. “Can you make a copy of the fake chips files? Thanks, man!”
The copies were done in less than five minutes and Warrick handed Danny
his card. “Call me if you remember anything or if something happens.”
Danny nodded and with a smile looked at Warrick. “Sure and please keep
us in the loop. We like knowing what’s going on in our house.”
---
Brass growled lightly when they were finally outside. “What do you
think? I bet they offed the guys.”
Warrick frowned and shrugged. “That’s a bit far fetched isn’t it? I mean
he said that they reported it and everything, what would they gain in killing
them?”
Brass simply looked at him and pointed towards the Montecito sign. “You
know who is the boss in here, don’t you?”
Warrick sighed. “Ed Deline, isn’t it?”
Brass grinned a bit. “And please don’t tell me that you think, Deline
would simply sit back and let the police do their work.”
Brass had a point, but before he could say anything else, his phone rang
interrupting the conversation. “Brass”
Grissom’s voice was as calm and quiet as always. “We got a hit on the
gun. It belongs to a Curtis Ryan in
---
* Las Vegas*
Danny McCoy wasn’t exactly a happy camper as he walked
through the lobby in search of Sam. He hadn’t heard from the detectives and he
felt that the cops would love to pin the double homicide on him or someone of
his team. Some part of him had hoped that the killing of the two men would stop
the flow of fake chips into the casino, but his hopes had been dashed as he had
been notified of three more guests paying with fake chips.
And now he had just found out that one of Sam’s whales
had destroyed his room
“Sam, we need to talk.” She must have seen the stress
in his eyes because she nodded and came over. “Listen, I already talked to Mr.
Wuong, he will cover any damage he caused.”
Shaking his head, Danny looked at her again. “Sam,
this is the third time. We can’t completely renovate the suite every time he
stays here.”
She shook her head. “He’s a great client,
he spends so much money on the table. And he isn’t a security risk, he’s
just... “ She smiled a bit before she continued.
“Excitable, I guess.”
“Well I had to report him to Ed, so it’s up to him.”
Danny saw how her eyes flashed at him once before she stalked away. He smiled
faintly at her attitude. He knew that she would go straight to Ed and tell him
off. His phone beeped and he answered it curtly when Mike’s voice came through.
“Danny, we have a problem.”
At Mike’s voice everything in Danny tensed and he told
his friend to tell him what. “We have a dead guy in room 2256.”
For a moment, Danny simply stared at the phone and
then decided that this day had just gone from bad to hell. “Call the police and
ask for Captain Brass.”
---
Brass was in Conrad Ecklie’s office trying to
formulate a theory as to why the Montecito employees could be their suspects.
Conrad and he had gone from enemies to lovers to friends and even now almost a
year after they had split up, they used each other as sounding boards every now
and then.
“Why would Deline kill the guys?” Conrad always came
straight to the point and Brass smiled lightly. “Cause he’s old Vegas and
anyone who fucks with him, pays for it?”
Conrad wanted to answer, but before he could say
anything, Brass’ phone rang. “Captain Brass.”
He listened to the call for a moment and looked at
Conrad with a frown. “Ok, Mr. McCoy we’ll be there in a second. Can you tell me
the name of the victim?”
When McCoy gave him the name, Brass felt himself
tense. “Thank you and please make sure that the scene is untouched.”
Putting the phone back in his jacket, Brass got up.
“We have a dead guy at the Montecito and guess who it is.”
Conrad shrugged. “Curtis Ryan?”
Of course he had known that his friend would guess
right, still he pretended to be annoyed and glared at Conrad. “You’re not
supposed to be this smart, you know. Could ruin your
reputation as a career CSI.”
Conrad laughed at the teasing and shrugged. “You just
have to keep it a secret, won’t you.”
Brass left the room and called Grissom and his team.
Their case had just become much more complicated.
---
“Eric, Sara, I need you two and Greg to drive over to
the Montecito. They found a guy shot in his room.” Grissom saw that Sara and
Eric seemed a bit reluctant to go and with a frown he looked at them. “What’s
the matter?”
Pointing at the evidence in front of her, Sara
shrugged. “We want to find a proof that the mother was really involved other
than driving them there and giving them access to the drugs. If we can’t charge
her with anything, she’ll get the girl back just like that.”
Grissom remembered the suicide case that Eric and Sara
had had a couple of nights ago. Two kids had killed themselves in the desert,
but what had looked like a straight forward suicide case had turned into a
family drama when Eric and Sara had found out that the mother of the girl had
literally driven them to kill themselves.
“We
know she pushed them towards it, you know it and so does the DA, but without
proof, we can’t charge her.” Sara’s
plea had been passionate and so he’d given them some more time to look at the
evidence, but with the murder at the Montecito their time had just run out.
“I’m sorry, Sara but murder has priority.” She sighed
and looked at him again. “Can’t Eric and Greg handle this on their own. I really want to put her away,
she killed her own daughter, Gris.”
Grissom looked at Eric and saw a similar plea in his
eyes as was currently in Sara’s eyes and with a sigh, he gave in. “Ok, but if
you haven’t found anything by the end of the shift, you’re on a new case.”
She smiled at him and with a sigh, he wondered whether
he had just made a mistake and given her a wrong impression. Well, he thought
philosophically, he’d survive it and so would she.
“Let’s get out there, so that we can start.” Eric
looked at him surprised. “You joining us? Aren’t you
working on the downtown homicide?”
Eric wasn’t questioning him, he was simply curious and
with a smile Grissom answered. “They are connected,
your murder victim is our primary suspect.”
---
Danny sighed as he saw Brass walk into the hotel room,
but he concealed any thoughts and greeted the Captain friendly. Brass however
wasn’t one to play around and smiled thinly. “Mr. McCoy, can you tell me who
found Mr. Curtis?”
Danny wanted to answer, but the arrival of the CSI
team made him turn around. He recognized the older grey haired man immediately
and cursed his luck. He had hoped that Warrick Brown would work this case. The
CSI had seemed to be more easy going, Gil Grissom on the other hand was famous
and infamous all at once; famous for this success rate, infamous because he was
notoriously bad at involving Casino security in his investigations. Still right
now, he was glad they were here and looking Grissom and the young guy with the
spiky hair, he smiled politely and introduced himself. “Mr. Grissom, Danny
McCoy, I am the Head of Surveillance and Security.”
Grissom looked at him and for a second Danny felt as
if the blue eyes were trying to see through him. Silently he thanked Ed for his
years of training as he managed to stay calm and meet the look with a friendly
smile. Grissom held his eyes for a moment longer, then turned away and looked
at his team.
“This is Greg Sanders he works with me in the crime
lab. Another member of my team, Eric Delko is taking pictures and prints in the
hallway.” Danny nodded at Grissom and Greg Sanders. He appreciated the
information and looked at Brass as he answered the question that the Captain
had asked before the CSIs had arrived.
“Captain Brass asked about who had found him,...” He trailed off when his phone rang and checked the
number. It was Mary who called and he pressed the reject button without much
thought before he continued his explanation. “Mrs. Hernandez found him when she
wanted to clean the room. She informed my team who in turn notified me and then
you.”
Grissom looked at him again and Danny once more felt
as if he was under a microscope. “Did you know the victim?”
Danny shook his head. “No, he only checked in two
nights ago. He’s not a regular client or a high roller, which means that so far
we know nothing apart from the details he gave at check in.”
Grissom nodded. Danny could see that he wanted to say
something when a young man walked into the room. The man was about as tall as
Danny, but had wonderful olive colored skin, dark short hair, dark beautiful
eyes and a body to drool over. Danny swallowed hard and was glad as the
newcomer started to speak as it gave him a legitimate reason to look at him.
“I’ve got dozens of finger and foot prints, but what
else would you expect in a hotel. One thing though, I found this on the floor.”
He showed Danny and Grissom a key card and Grissom immediately looked at Danny.
“That’s not one of our hotel keys .
Ours are blue.” Danny felt the new guy’s eyes on him as he spoke and hoped he’d
say something. He had liked listening to his voice which had a very, very
slight accent. It was enough to give him an exotic touch but not enough for
Danny to place him somewhere. One thing was for sure though, the newcomer was
downright gorgeous and Danny had to force himself to keep his mind on the dead
guest.
“Mr. McCoy can we look at the
tapes? I am sure you have an exact
account of where Mr. Ryan has been in the casino.” Grissom’s request was one he
could easily fulfill. But before he could show the CSI where to go, Grissom
stopped him and addressed the other guy. “Eric, can you go with Mr. McCoy and
check out the security tapes?”
So Mr. Gorgeous had a name and as Danny walked towards
the elevator with Eric in tow, he thought of the saying that every bad
situation had a silver lining. For once, he mused, it seemed true.
---
Eric followed McCoy through hallways, up and down
stairs and into several elevators until he shook his head. “How many guests of
yours have been found starved to death in one of these corridors?”
McCoy turned around and grinned before teasingly
telling Eric. “None actually, we’re already in the part where only staff is
allowed. So no guests here, but maybe one day some noisy CSIs will turn up.”
Eric frowned at McCoy and once more got a wide grin in
response. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to abandon you here and even if I would.
You know Casinos, cameras everywhere.”
He pointed towards the ceiling and Eric noticed the
small cameras that monitored his every step. It made him feel slightly
uncomfortable and with a sigh he remembered the heated discussions he used to
have with Speed about the merits and dangers of complete camera surveillance.
They had argued often about the point and stubborn as they had been, they had
never given in and yet the making up had always been wonderful. For a moment
Eric’s smile faded and sadness overcame him, when he felt concerned eyes on him.
McCoy had noticed his mood shift and averting his eyes, Eric forced a smile on
his face.
“What’s that line from Ocean’s 11? There’s always
someone watching?” McCoy grinned but his eyes were serious as he nodded. “Yeah
pretty much and most of the time that someone is me. And believe me, Danny Ocean would have never gotten past me...”
They laughed and stepped into yet another elevator
when Eric felt McCoy’s eyes on him once again. Surprised at the honest concern
in them he looked up and felt himself caught. He hadn’t noticed until that
moment, how blue the other man’s eyes were. As soon as their eyes met, McCoy
kept Eric’s gaze captured until the look became an almost tangible caress. Eric
felt a shiver run through him which shook him to his core.
McCoy was taller than him, and his posture was relaxed
as he leaned against the elevator wall. Eric watched the other man, and almost
unconsciously trailed his eyes over the deceptively lean body. There was
something about McCoy that spoke of an underlying strength and an ability to
use his body as a weapon. Eric swallowed hard and McCoy’s eyes fixed on him
again as if he had read his thoughts. The open appreciation in the blue eyes
once more made Eric tremble. What the fuck was happening?
“I’m Danny by the way.” The charged moment had
disappeared and as Eric looked at Danny now, he saw humor and friendship in the
blue eyes. It was enough to make him reach out and grasp Danny’s hand but once
again there was suddenly more and underneath the smile and the seriousness Eric
saw an interest that ran much deeper than professional behavior allowed.
Swallowing hard at the sudden understanding, he masked his confusion with a
smile. “Eric Delko.”
Danny smiled and left the elevator as the doors
opened. Eric groaned as he saw another hallway in front of him.
“This is worse than the glades.” He must have mumbled
the words louder than he had wanted or Danny had really great ears because the
other man turned around and smiled at him. “I could tell that you are new to
Vegas, but I wouldn’t have guessed that you’re from Florida.”
The open and friendly curiosity in Danny’s eyes made
it surprisingly easy to answer and he shrugged as he sent another almost shy
smile in the other’s direction before he started. Was he flirting?
“Miami actually, I transferred here about seven months
ago.” At his words, Danny’s eyes met Eric’s again and he saw the curiosity in
them. “And where’s the accent from?”
Surprised that Danny had been able to pick up the
faint traces of the languages he had grown up with, Eric shrugged. “Mother is
Cuban and my father is Russian. I guess my accent’s from somewhere in between.”
They entered the security room and Eric nodded in
appreciation after taking a look around. The equipment was state of the art,
the screens showing every corner and room of the casino and hotel. Again he
felt Danny’s eyes on him and turned around with a nod. “This is making my job
so much easier.”
Danny nodded in agreement, but before he could answer
an older man walked through the door. Eric’s first thought was that he reminded
him of Horatio. Not from the looks, as the man was clearly older than H, had
grey hair instead of H’s red hair and was broader built. He didn’t have
Horatio’s slender stature instead was smaller and clearly muscular. And yet
both men had the same attitude, the same presence that announced their arrival
as soon as they stepped into a room.
“Ed? Can I introduce you to CSI Eric Delko?” The man
had turned at Danny’s words and Eric found himself in the focus of intense blue
eyes. He held the gaze and didn’t fidget as the eyes slowly mustered him from
head to toe. There was something to be said about Horatio’s training, it
certainly helped him now.
“Pleased to meet you Mr.
Delko. I’m Ed Deline, President of
Operations at the Montecito. You’re investigating the murder of Mr. Ryan?”
Eric remembered having heard the name Ed Deline before
and quickly went through the memorized facts as he followed Danny and Mr.
Deline over to the second control room. Ed Deline was something like a legend
in Las Vegas and while he had heard only good things about the other man, he
had clearly noticed that the respect that everyone felt for him was tinged with
fear too. Deline had been running the Montecito for a long time, first as Head
of Security and now as President of Operations for the entire group. Looking at
the older man, Eric saw the intelligence in his eyes, the calculated calmness
and openness and a good measure of shrewdness. He wasn’t sure whether or not to
trust him, but he decided to give him the benefit of doubt as he answered the
question. “With my team, yes.”
Deline looked at him for another moment and nodded as
if his inspection had confirmed something, Eric shrugged and turned towards the
screens. “Danny, you help him with the tapes, won’t you? Mr. Delko, let me know
if there’s anything I can help you with.”
Eric appreciated the offer although he doubted the
sincerity of it. His years in Miami had taught Eric not to trust managers. He
had become very jaded when it came to big business and its leaders. Still he
nodded friendly and watched as Deline left the room again. Looking back to the
screen, he found Danny’s eyes on him and saw that the other man smiled faintly.
“He’s on our side.” Danny’s words made him smile a
bit, before he turned serious again. “Maybe, but right now I’m not sure if we
are on the same side.”
Danny frowned a bit, but didn’t comment instead he sat
down and started to type in some words into the surveillance system.
“What time frame do you need?” Thinking quickly about
it, Eric groaned. “No time frame, just every single movement.”
Danny looked at him. “That’s a lot of tape.”
“I know, and I really wonder sometimes why I’m not
wearing glasses.” Danny smiled faintly and started the search program. “There we’ve
got him.”
Eric narrowed his eyes as Curtis Ryan appeared on the
screen. Their victim talked to the hostess at the entrance and then headed
towards the reception. “Checking in at 10:25 A.M..”
Curtis Ryan then walked away, but instead of going
directly to his room, he left the hotel. Eric sighed. “Do you have cameras
outside?”
Danny nodded and flipped over to another camera.
Curtis Ryan was on the phone with someone and Eric immediately made a note to
have Greg check with Brass about phone records. “I’ll have Mitch make copies of
all the files we’re looking at, then you can take them
apart in your lab.”
Eric rolled his eyes and nodded. “Can you show me the
hallway outside Ryan’s room?”
Danny selected the camera and they watched together as
people walked up and down the hallway disappearing in their rooms and coming
back out again. It was nothing spectacular, but suddenly Eric tensed as he saw
the shadow of a man appear. “Stop right here.”
Danny stopped, looked at the picture and cursed.
“Nothing, the bastard knows where the cameras are.”
Eric looked at Danny and saw how the other man tensed.
“Who knows the exact positioning and range of the cameras except your team?”
Danny immediately shook his head. “You can’t honestly
think that we have something to do with this.”
“I don’t know, Danny, but we’ll follow the evidence. I
need the footage of this too.” Eric knew that Archie could sometimes make
miracles happen and he counted on their tech to provide him with some
additional information. For a moment, he wondered if he should tell Danny, but
his common sense was stronger. He liked the other man, but Danny McCoy might
turn out to be a suspect and Eric didn’t want to tip off a potential killer.
Danny didn’t say anything, but in the tense set of his
jaw, Eric could see that he had upset the other man. He wanted to tell him that
it was all going to be ok, but with a sigh Eric pushed the urge away. “Let’s
see the rest of his movements.”
They went through the rest of the material and then
Danny gave him the CDs that his employee had burned while they had watched the
footage. “These are the specific files that we’ve just looked at and the
complete footage of all cameras from yesterday 10.25am until the moment you
arrived at the scene. Do you need anything else?”
Eric shook his head when something occurred to him.
“You wonder why we’re suspecting you, aren’t you?”
At Danny’s nod, Eric sighed. “Mr. Ryan was our prime
suspect for the killing of two men in down town. Two men that
were in the possession of fake Montecito chips.”
Danny paled and Eric could see how he made the
connections. “Damn it.”
The curse was heart felt, and Eric smiled a bit,
before he got up. There was a certain tension between him and Danny and Eric
felt as if he should apologize for it, but he had never before apologized for
doing his job and he wasn’t going to start now.
“Thanks a lot.” Danny’s words surprised him, but Danny
wasn’t done yet. “For telling me and not keeping me in the
dark.”
He opened the door and Eric walked outside and hesitated
in the corridor as he realized that he had no idea where to go. Danny’s chuckle
behind him made him sigh in relief that he wasn’t abandoned.
“I told you that I won’t leave you to starve to your
death.” Danny put a warm, strong hand on his shoulder and Eric barely managed
not to tense up. The shock of the warm touch seemed to travel through his
entire body and the longer the hand stayed the more it chased away the cold he
always felt.
“Don’t worry, I won’t abandon you.”
The words were spoken closely to his ear, but even as the closeness was
registered in Eric’s mind, Danny had already stepped back and walked down
towards the elevator.
Eric’s eyes were on him and like before he was
suddenly very much aware of Danny’s presence. Looking at the other man, he
acknowledged once more that Danny McCoy was a very, very handsome man. His hair
was the natural blond of a cornfield and not the beach blond that dyed hair
usually had. Danny was taller than Eric although not by much and yet Eric
couldn’t remember when he had felt so vulnerable in the presence of someone.
There was something about Danny that belied his little boy attitude and Eric
shivered as his eyes moved over the back to Danny’s ass and he grew even more
aware of the other man.
“I
won’t abandon you.” Danny’s words from before
came back to him and Eric swallowed hard. Danny had spoken them in jest, had
made a joke about them and in a normal case Eric would have laughed and
bantered back. He couldn’t now though, not with those words. Danny couldn’t
know what these simple words meant to Eric, couldn’t know that he had
unwittingly told Eric something that Eric had longed to hear for a long time.
Couldn’t know that Eric still wished Speed had promised him exactly that.
“What are you doing on Saturday?” Danny’s question
jerked him back to reality and he shrugged. He hadn’t really done much in the
six months since he’d moved here. If he had gone out then it usually had been
for drinks with Warrick, and before that he had gone clubbing with Greg once or
twice, but mainly he had furnished his flat and done nothing.
“You’re not working, are you?” Thankfully he wasn’t
and Eric smiled. “No, I was on call for the last couple of weekends, so this
one really is a free one.”
They walked along another hallway to yet another
elevator and this time, Danny turned towards Eric as soon as he had pressed the
right floor. There was still much space between them and yet Eric felt once
again surprisingly vulnerable. It was a novel feeling and he wasn’t sure if he
liked it, but when Danny spoke he forgot about it immediately. “You want to go
out? I bet you haven’t seen the real sights of Vegas yet.”
It was so tempting, but Eric with Danny involved in
their investigation it was impossible to go out with him right now. He started
a bit as he realized how disappointed he was, but as if Danny had read his
dilemma, he shrugged and handed him his business card. “Call me, after you’ve
finished the case. If you still want to go out, just let me know ok?”
They had reached the entrance and Eric saw Warrick
wait for him. He felt oddly reluctant to say goodbye to Danny. He had enjoyed
the company despite the sometimes awkward feelings and felt bad for not being
able to make Saturday. He wanted to be with Danny, wanted to spend more time
with him and wanted to get to know him closer. The realization of what he
really felt was like a jolt through him and he tensed.
He had never felt like this, not since Speed and he
swallowed at the bittersweet feeling of desire that cursed through his body. He
didn’t know Danny and yet he wanted him.
“I’ll call you. I’m sorry about Saturday.” Danny waved
his apology away with an easy smile and pointed at the card Eric still held in
his hand.
“If you’re sorry, then you’ll call.” He smiled once
more and quickly ran his eyes over Eric. This time it was clearly meant as a
caress and Eric did nothing to mask his reaction to the blatant lust in Danny’s
eyes. For a moment they stared at each other, and Eric shuddered at the heat in
the blue eyes.
“And you better do call or I’ll track you down.”
Danny’s words were teasing, but his eyes told Eric that there was a grain of
truth in the statement.
---
Warrick watched the exchange between Eric and McCoy
with interest. He wondered if the two men realized how much tension they
created between them. If they were in a comic book, there would be little
lightning over their heads and Warrick grinned. McCoy was quite handsome even
if he wasn’t exactly Warrick’s type, but then his type was pretty damn
specific. Warrick’s smile faded as the familiar pain made him swallow hard for
a moment. He wasn’t exactly over Nick and thinking about his friend still hurt,
but at least he had him back as his best friend and the hurt wasn’t as painful
anymore.
New York had been hard, but also eye-opening. It had
brought home the fact that Nick wasn’t going to come back to Las Vegas. Nick
was home in New York and Warrick had had no chance but to accept it. He frowned
as he pushed the memory back and concentrated once more on Eric.
They had become good friends since that day when Eric
had picked him up from the airport and yet he still felt as if there was some
part in Eric’s life that he didn’t know about. He was so different from the man
Warrick had met all those years ago, Eric was darker, more serious and there
was sadness around him that made Warrick sometimes want to grab and hug him.
Part of him understood that it was a natural reaction to losing a sister and a
friend, but another part made him wish for the easy going Eric to reappear
again.
“Hey, you’re day dreaming?” Eric grinned. Warrick
thought about defending himself, but in the end, he opted for a shrug and a
grin.
“I thought, I’ll give you
some time to flirt with our suspect over there.” To his surprise, Eric flushed
and suddenly looked afraid. “I wasn’t flirting.”
Warrick realized that he had made a mistake by calling
McCoy a suspect and immediately shook his head. “Hey, I’m not saying you did
something wrong ok? I know you’re a pro and hey, if you ask me I think it’s
cute.”
That earned him a slap, but at least the fear had
disappeared from Eric’s eyes. Warrick smiled while he walked towards the car
and waited for Eric to stove his kit and the CDs in
the back before he turned towards him again. “So you’re going to call him when
this is over?”
Again Eric seemed tense and Warrick realized that they
had never really spoken about their preference in partners. Sighing silently,
he shook his head. “Eric, you know that
I don’t care if you like guys, do you? I mean, you know why I flew to New York,
so why should it bother me...”
Eric remained silent and Warrick frowned
a bit as he started the car and drove to the lab. They were almost there when
Eric suddenly spoke. “It’s just weird, you know? I’ve never...”
He trailed off, but Warrick saw that he was tense and
gently he put a hand around Eric’s shoulder. “You never?”
Eric gave a shrug. “It’s complicated.”
The answer made Warrick laugh, because it was his
preferred diversion, now though he looked at Eric and grinned. “Breakfast then.”
Eric groaned, but as he looked at Warrick, he seemed
to realize that Warrick wouldn’t let this go and agreed with a scowl. “Breakfast.”
---
Sam had watched Danny talking to the handsome stranger
and a shiver had run through her at the sexual tension between them. She was
one of the few people that knew about Danny’s real preferences, but with him
being a Marine, she also knew about his usual discretion. It surprised her to
see him flirt so openly, but at the same time it elated her. She had always
feared that he would one day take the easy way out and tie the knot with Mary.
It had nothing to do with Mary. Sam just knew that Mary and Danny would never
work. She was too needy, too much little good wife to make him happy. Danny
didn’t need a soft smile and hot curves. He needed someone who stood up to him,
who gave back as good as he got and someone whose hard body was as strong as
Danny’s own.
“The LVPD certainly has some good looking guys in
their ranks, and trust Danny to appreciate the fact too.” Delinda had snuck up
behind her and Sam frowned as she saw how her friend watched the two cops.
“What do you mean?”
Delinda stretched lightly and for a second Sam felt
anxious through her when Delinda laughed.
“Don’t worry; Danny told me after we broke up. It
explained some things...” Delinda grinned and nodded towards the spot where the
two CSI’s had been just minutes before. “So what do we do to get them
together?”
---
Eric was sitting next to Archie and avidly watched as
the lab tech cleaned up the grisly video. The picture of the person didn’t
appear but the shadow got clearer and Eric narrowed his eyes as he saw the
movement of one hand.
“Stop it.” Archie stopped and Eric growled lightly.
“See the hand there? We caught him on film; we just have no idea who he is.”
He shook his head but perked up when Archie grinned at
him. “See, you field CSIs just give up way too easily. Show a little faith in
Archie.”
Eric grinned back and watched him expand the screen
and start typing furiously. He was curious by nature and staring at Archie he
couldn’t help asking him what he was doing. Archie wasn’t Hodges and unlike the
trace expert he readily explained how sometimes the cameras caught more than
what ended up on the screen. Finally though, he sighed as none of his attempts
to clear the picture got any results. He looked at Eric and shrugged. “Give me
some time, will you? I’ll page you if I find something.”
Thanking Archie, Eric got up and went looking for
Sara. He hoped that she had found something that tied the mother to the two
suicides, but as he finally found her she looked defeated. “Found anything?”
“Not a damn thing, the bottles were clean, no prints
on and we can’t even prove that she was there when they took the drugs.” Eric
understood her frustration. “We know that she drove them there, but we don’t
know if she stayed long enough to watch them kill themselves.”
She nodded, when Eric suddenly remembered something. “Sara, the milk.”
She looked at him as if he had spoken Chinese, but he
could literally see how realization dawned. “Of course, the baby was there and
she took it with her. Let me run some tests.”
Without another words, she
turned around and Eric smiled as he watched her walk away. He had been slightly
apprehensive about her knowing about Speed, but she hadn’t changed the way she
acted around him at all. It was a relief and without really thinking about it,
he called her name again.
“Sara, you up for some drinks
before the shift tomorrow?”
She stopped and threw him a surprised look. “You’re
pulling my leg?”
It was his turn to be surprised now, but he shook his
head. “No, why would I? I just thought. I’ve been out with Greg and Rick, but
never with you.”
That seemed to surprise her and her eyes narrowed. It
was only then that Eric realized how his invitation could be taken. He wanted
to take his offer back, when she grinned at him.
“No funny business.” He raised his hands to show that
he understood and laughed. “None, I promise.”
She shook her head and smiled before she went to
search for more clues on her suicide.
Eric, on the other hand headed, towards the morgue. He
knew that Ryan had been killed by a gunshot, but maybe Robbins would be able to
tell him more.
Al Robbins looked up from his latest body and nodded
in greeting. “You here for the casino victim, aren’t you?”
Eric nodded and Robbins shrugged. “I can’t tell you
anything new. He was killed by a single gunshot to the chest. Shot at close
range, the shot was fatal, he died immediately.”
Eric hadn’t expected anything else and with a faint
smile he thanked Robbins. He was just about to walk out, when he remembered
something. “Did you find the bullet?”
Robbins shook his head. “No, I didn’t. Why?”
Already reaching for his phone, Eric frowned a bit.
“Cause Greg and Grissom didn’t find one at the scene.”
“So either the killer took it with him, or you didn’t
find it.” Robbins’ words made Eric smile grimly as he suddenly remembered
something. “We didn’t find it and I think I know why. I think the window was
open when he was killed.”
Robbins’ eyes met his and the ME snorted. “Well good
luck in finding it then.”
---
Warrick grinned at the look in Eric’s face as he
walked into the locker room and leaned against the door. “You thought I had
forgotten about it, didn’t you?”
Eric’s smirk and shrug told him enough and he made
sure to stand right in the door, just in case Eric tried to escape. He didn’t,
instead he shook his head and changed into a casual shirt and grabbed his
jacket. Warrick noted the casual but stylish clothes, the modern leather shoes
and the brand name on the sunglasses. He had realized a while ago, that Eric
could easily give him a run for the title of the most stylish CSI in town. It
was a first for Warrick and he chuckled lightly which made Eric turn around and
raise an eyebrow.
“Don’t worry; I’m not laughing at you. I just thought
that I’m glad you don’t have Nick’s fashion sense.” Even as he said it, Warrick
cringed internally. Eric must be so tired of hearing about Nick and always
being measured against him. Warrick had promised himself not to make the same
mistake and still he had. Although, he thought as he looked at Eric, he didn’t
look too pissed off instead his eyes twinkled.
“Why was it that outlandish?”
Outlandish? The word made Warrick chuckle again and as they headed towards their
cars, he shook his head. “It wasn’t bad. He’s from Texas so he gets some points
for even trying... I guess they have a law there that says you’re not allowed
to wear your shirt out of your pants or your sleeves unbuttoned...”
Eric smiled lightly, as he ducked back into his locker
and retrieved his keys from it.
“Must be the north-south divide, Speed never wore his
shirts cuffed and H had to literally beg him to wear a suit to court.” The
comment was accompanied by a laugh, but at the same time, Eric’s eyes had
darkened with remembered pain.
Warrick swallowed at the grief he saw in the dark eyes
and once again wanted to hug the younger man. He didn’t dare though and holding
himself back he gently steered Eric towards his car. “I’ll drive you back
afterwards.”
They drove in silence to the diner and Warrick
remained silent until they had ordered. Eric seemed nervous and Warrick
suddenly felt old as he watched him fidget in his chair. When had it happened
that he was the one to give dating advice to the rookies?
“Look, if you don’t want to talk, I’m fine. I just
want you to know that I don’t care whom you’re dating and neither does anyone
else in the office, well Sara might, if you date Gris, but apart from that
you’re safe.” Eric stared into the coffee until Warrick got worried and gently
nudged him with his elbow. “We can just sit here and talk about sports, you
know. I mean we are guys after all.”
This time Eric looked up and gave him a smile that was
full of mischief. “What do you want to talk about? You guys don’t even have a
decent pro team.”
The comment woke Warrick’s competitiveness and soon
enough they were in the midst of a heated argument about the best basketball
team. Warrick noticed how Eric mentioned Miami a couple of times, usually in
connection with the Miami Heat, however he also noted
the complete lack of longing when he talked about his former home. It was as if
Eric didn’t miss the city at all.
“And let’s not forget, the Heat have done much better
lately.”
Grinning Warrick shook his head and countered the
argument only to be interrupted when their food arrived. Eric’s eyes lit up at
the plates full with scrambled eggs and once more he laughed. “I tell you, that’s something I’m still not used to, eating breakfast for
dinner...”
Warrick remembered that Eric had been on dayshift and
he nodded, he knew only too well how hard the change could be. “When Ecklie
broke up our team and Cat, Nick and I were on swing shift for a couple of
months, my internal clock got completely screwed. I couldn’t sleep and was just
constantly walking around like a zombie.”
Eric smiled understandingly. “Never got the whole
nightshift appeal, or at least not when I was in Miami. It’s making sense here
though, there’s not much going on during the day.”
Warrick grabbed another slice of toast and twisted it
in his hands. He wasn’t sure whether or not to ask Eric about Nick, but the
prompting stare he got from dark eyes made it clear that Eric knew he had
something on his mind. “I just realized before that it must be annoying for you
to hear nothing but ‘Nick here’ and ‘Nick there’. Kind of promised myself not
to do it, but I guess I do it more often than I realized. So if I annoy you,
just tell me ok?”
Eric shrugged and toyed with the remaining food on his
plate. “It’s not that bad. You guys respect me and don’t expect me to become
Nick. And you don’t seem to be holding a grudge against me for taking his
job...”
Warrick frowned. Why would they have a grudge? It
wasn’t like Eric had mobbed Nick out of the lab, on the contrary, they were
happy that he could deal with the fact that Nick still was very much present in
the lab. Since Nick had left, he was the first to stick with them, the three
guys before him had not been able to live with Nick’s sometimes larger than
life shadow. Eric must have read some of his thoughts, because he smiled
tightly and sighed.
“When Speed was killed and they got Ryan to replace
him... I didn’t handle it well and probably made his life unnecessarily hard.
Of course his attitude towards me didn’t help either, but still, I should have
helped him more.” There was so much more to the casually spoken words and
Warrick couldn’t help but ask. If Eric didn’t want to tell him, he was fine
with it, but Warrick wanted to know Eric and maybe one day they would become
friends.
“Speed was important to you, wasn’t he?”
He remembered Calleigh’s call to Catherine and the
horror he had felt. He understood it even better now that he had come close to
losing Nick. Eric had tensed, but his hands didn’t tremble as he lifted the mug
and sighed again.
“He was my world.” Such simple words and such a wealth
of pain, Eric’s eyes were open and raw and almost instinctively Warrick reached
out and covered Eric’s hand with his.
“I’m sorry.” Eric shrugged but the casual gesture was
false and his eyes still held way too much grief. “I thought I was over it, but
when Marisol got shot, it opened a lot of wounds.”
It suddenly made sense that Eric didn’t miss Miami and
adding two and two together Warrick hazarded a guess.
“That’s why you came here.”
The nod he got was curt, but just as he thought that
he had made a mistake, Eric spoke again. “At the casino, when I said it was
complicated, that’s what I was talking about. Speed was the first guy I was
into and his death almost killed me, I’ve had some flings since then, but
nothing serious just one night stands with girls and back room encounters with
guys. And then suddenly I meet this Danny and it’s like an electrical current
that runs through me and that with a guy who might turn out to be our primary
suspect.”
Oh yes, Warrick knew only too well what Eric was
talking about. He had never thought about another man that way until Hodges had
told him in no uncertain terms that Nick loved him. Once the thought had been
in Warrick’s head, he had started to imagine things. He had been shocked about
that side in him and yeah, he understood Eric’s dilemma.
“Forget about the suspect thing right now, I know the
guy who runs the Casino, believe me if he or his team were involved you
wouldn’t find any evidence. But more importantly now that you find yourself
attracted to him, what are you going to do?”
Eric grinned almost shyly and averted his eyes as he
was blushing. “It sounds insane, I know, but I have no idea. I mean I can flirt
with girls and do the whole seducing thing, but with guys? Speed and I... we
were friends long before we became lovers and sometimes it just seems as if it
was a natural progression. And he was the one to take the first step... I just
feel so stupid, I’m thirty for god’s sake and I don’t know what to do when I
like a guy.”
Warrick grinned, but he understood only too well what
Eric meant. “You’ll figure it out, you’re a smart boy
after all.”
Eric sighed again and Warrick glanced at Eric and
smirked. “You want to head over to the Montecito for a drink?”
Having expected the playful slap, he easily moved away
and then caught the salt that had not moved. As they left the diner, Warrick
looked at Eric from the corner of his eyes and smiled. Eric looked at ease and
happy and Warrick sighed lightly. It was a pity that they hadn’t finished the
case yet, he would have bet a lot of money that Danny McCoy would have
appreciated them coming over for a drink.
“So who do I ask, you?” Eric’s question had Warrick
glare at him, but there was a lot of teasing and good humor in his eyes as he
answered with a grin. “You can of course, but I don’t think you need to.
Something tells me McCoy knows enough for the two of you.”
---
It was after 9 A.M. when Eric returned home, and he
wondered if he’d ever get used to undress and prepare for sleep when everyone
got ready to work. He was tired though and so he went to bed and flipped
through the channels until something caught his interest. Settling back in his
bed, he watched the documentary, but soon his thoughts started to wander as he
recalled the last couple of hours.
Breakfast with Warrick had been nice, he thought, the
easy camaraderie, the bantering about sports, the jokes and the good humored
arguments. It was something he had missed for a long time and he sighed as he
thought of Speed. He had told Warrick the truth, Speed and he had been best
friends long before they had become lovers and their friendship had not changed
when they had started seeing each other. Eric felt the familiar pain at the
loss and swallowed hard.
“Damn you Speed.”
He still missed him, still couldn’t forgive him for
being so careless, just as he couldn’t forgive himself for not checking Speed’s
gun. Eric smiled as he remembered the nights they had spent sitting at the
beach joking and teasing each other, remembered the evenings when they had
driven out of the city on Speed’s bike and just stopped somewhere to make out.
“I miss you.”
It wasn’t the glaring pain of an open and raw wound
anymore, neither was it the terrible and desperate ache and darkness that he
had felt in the weeks after Speed’s funeral. No pain could be that intense for
so long. Eric knew that people were incredibly good at adapting and so the pain
had morphed into a dull throbbing. At first, right after the shooting, it had
been as if the pain was alive, something like a wild animal that was ready to
tear him apart, but by now it had dulled and all he felt was numbness. It
wasn’t painful to get up in the morning anymore, nor was it hard to talk about
Speed, but what had remained was the feeling of being constantly cold. He had
gotten used to the flashes of pain when something reminded him of Speed and he
got caught unaware, just as he had gotten used to the loneliness and the
coldness that reined his private life.
Eric had made one attempt at a relationship last year,
but the experience with the DNA girl had been enough to make him understand
that it was better to stay out of the game unless he was willing to play it.
But something had changed today. Some barrier had broken when Danny McCoy had
looked at him and smiled.
You’ll
know when you can move on.
Horatio, of all people, it had been him who had told
him that. Eric smiled sadly in the darkness of his room. He doubted that
Horatio would ever be able to move on. Part of him felt guilty as if he was
about to betray Speed, but the memory of his lover frowning and fondly shaking
his head made him smile.
“I won’t forget you.”
No, he wouldn’t and a part of him would always love
Speed, but he was alive and as he turned off the TV, Eric remembered suddenly
that he had come to Las Vegas to start a new life. He had been here over six
months now. It was time to do that.
---