The concept and the people in the story are fictional and the property of several production companies. I only borrow them and return them unharmed and unmarked. No money is made of the story and no infringement is meant.

 

 

*Chapter 8*

 

Sara had been awake for over 30 hours now, but as she bent over the traces she gathered from the third victim's floor, she didn't feel the exhaustion. Normally she would have been tired, no matter how exciting a case was, no matter how much she wanted a killer to be caught, the work, the long hours always took a toll on her body and after working for 24 hours she usually felt the effect.

 

Today was different. Today she was wide awake, almost hyper with clarity and concentration. As she looked at the samples, the little heaps of different items she had vacuumed from the floor, she felt as if she didn't need a microscope to see every single detail. It was an almost scary feeling,, but Sara recognized it as what it was, determination...

 

Since she'd been a little girl, determination had always been her strongest asset and her weakest point, her determination had turned a school geek into a top long distance runner without loosing the good grades, had made her sit through lessons she didn't understand and go home and read every book until she knew what her lecturers had talked about... It had made her superior in San Francisco see past the foster home upbringing and see the talented CSI and now… Now it would make a killer go behind bars, before he could harm her friend.

 

For a moment, Sara looked up and her eyes ghosted over the deserted lab, Warrick and Catherine were still at the third crime scene, Ecklie was with Brass trying to find Lower's sister... She was alone and for a quick second allowed herself to think which case she was working on.

 

They weren't working on an unknown victim, this time it was one of their own and just the thought of losing Nick hurt too much and immediately she pushed it away. When she had met Nick three years ago, she had taken an instant dislike to him, too much did he remind her of the frat boys that had made her college days hell. Then she had gotten to know Nick and the younger man had become like a brother to her and now? Now someone wanted to kill him... and she would do anything in her power to avoid this from happening. And yet it seemed hopeless, every turn they took was a dead end, everywhere they searched they came back with nothing. The sister remained a mystery, Lower refused to talk to the police, the sniper's contacts had not seen him... They had three dead men, they had a suspect and knew the mind behind the plan, but they had no idea when or where the next attack would happen. All they knew is that they were running out of time.

 

There was only one bullet left, only one victim still alive... Sara swallowed hard and bend once again over the pictures from the scene.

 

The beeping sound of the analysing tool shook her back to reality and she quickly read through the print out. In the vacuumed result there had been various fibres, kinds of sand and dirt but it was one item that caught her eye and reaching for the other two sheets she smiled. There was one component that showed up on all three sheets.

 

"It's a kind of oil, used to make roofs water-repellent. This chemical combination is new on the market only came out something like two years ago..."

 

With every word Greg spoke Sara felt more hope grow, maybe they had just caught a break.

 

"We have to find out which company used it and on which building."

 

Greg nodded and watched as she sat down on the computer and started the database with all the information about buildings. She had already forgotten about him and for a moment he was tempted to just leave the lab and go back to his own domain, but then he remembered what case they were working on and shaking his head he interrupted Sara's thoughts.

 

"What can I do to help?"

 

Surprise that he was still here, but somehow no surprise at the question registered in Sara's face before she smiled lightly.

 

"Why don't you do the database search while I go and talk to the main sales place, maybe they can help me with it."

 

She didn't ask whether Greg understood the database or knew what to search for and he smiled as he watched her leave, Sara was one those people that just expected you to be as knowledgeable as she was, lucky him that at least in the office he was. Greg smirked before he started to type again, yet as he looked down at the sheet again the smile slowly faded from his face. He wasn't doing this for fun, he was doing this for a friend, a friend whose life was threatened...

 

Looking up he saw the pictures of the three killed men, the three men that looked so much like Nick he felt bile rise in his throat. The images seemed to mock him and tell him that no matter what he did he wouldn't be fast enough. Greg typed faster and a shiver ran up his spine.

 

"We have to find him"

 

--

 

"Hey Cat, come in"

 

Gil was pale and his voice was drawn. Catherine could see that the last two days had taken an enormous toll on her supervisor. Carefully she put a hand on his shoulder and asked with a lowered voice.

 

"How are you holding up?"

 

The soft smile was familiar and yet not and it took Catherine a moment to realize why. Gil often smiled when he didn't know how to answer a question, or when he didn't want to answer, he smiled but the emotion never reached his eyes, this time though, it did...

 

"I have been better..."

 

Gil trailed off when Nick walked into the room, smiling at Catherine before sitting down on the couch. Taking a seat herself Catherine watched them carefully for any signs of panic or fear, but they both seemed composed and calm.

 

"You want something to drink?"

 

Grissom looked startled when Nick asked Catherine making her and Nick smile lightly. He wasn't used to people in his home, wasn't used to playing host and it showed. Nick on the other hand had grown up in a house full of people, loved having people around and for sure knew how to entertain. Catherine smiled again before she asked for a water and then watched the younger man as he disappeared in the kitchen.

 

"You have told him about the sniper, haven't you?"

 

Irate eyes met her own at the question, but the anger in them subsided and was replaced by a deep fear, that made Catherine's breath catch. Grissom had always been an enigma to her, understanding him had never been easy, now though it was. Grissom was afraid, terrified and his next words confirmed it.

 

"How could I not? How could I not tell him and have him walk outside the house right to his death? Do you think I would survive it?"

 

The gasp behind them made Gil jerk around and for a moment the two men's eyes met. Something almost tangible passed between them, before Nick silently put a glass of water and sat down. Catherine noticed that he sat closer to Grissom, saw how he fixed their boss with his eyes and held her breath when he carefully caressed the pale face.

 

"Gil, I won't go outside without protection, I won't die on you. Do you hear me? I won't let myself get killed."

 

It hit her then and she felt awe and happiness spread through her, happiness that her friends had found each other, awe that they let her see it so open and yet... At the same time as she felt happy and elated, a feeling of dread cursed through her as Ecklie's words echoed in her mind.

 

'it might hurt to lose someone you never had, only dreamed of, but it hurts so much more to lose someone after having tasted the ecstasy of being with that person'

 

She knew immediately that Gil knew nothing about the threats, about the interview Brass had had with Lower, because there was no way the older man would have started something if he knew it would only endanger Nick further. The sudden silence in the room made her turn and she saw the two looking at her with questions in their eyes. The reason behind her visit came back to her and she started to update them on the case, the progress and the third victim.

 

"Sara and Warrick found lipstick and sedatives, they suspect that a woman helped the shooter getting into the room, Greg compared the DNA found in at the first scene with Lowers and came up with a close match, we assume that he has a sister and that potentially this sister is the one seducing the guys..."

 

The relief she saw on Nick's face was almost painful, and a glance at Gil showed her, that the older CSI hadn't made the mistake of getting his hopes up.

 

"Nick, he doesn't have to get close to you, with the others he had a message to deliver, with you..."

 

Gil's voice broke and immediately Nick's arms were around him, soothing him with whispered words that made Catherine smile and yet again broke her heart.

 

"I am safe here, I won't go outside until they have him. Gil, he can't harm me, he won't..."

 

She had always admired Nick's ability to relate with the victims and somehow it was fitting that the younger CSI would not worry about himself instead calm and comfort the man he loved. Catherine smiled when she remembered something Brass had said long ago.

 

'Nick has a too kind soul for this job.'

 

Maybe the captain had been right, but as she looked at the two men giving and taking comfort from each other in this harsh situation, she wondered whether it wasn't the other way round... whether it wasn't the rest of the team having a too hardened soul... Shaking her head, she coughed slightly and continued her explanation, telling them how they were looking for the sister and how Sara were trying to find the sniper's hiding place by vacuuming the floors and separating out the particles. Nick snickered at the comment and mumbled something about Sara needing to get a life, but immediately turned serious again and fixed Catherine with a clear gaze.

 

"So you have three dead guys, but still nothing but a name for the killer."

 

His voice wasn't accusatory or even wondering, he was simply stating a fact, but as Catherine nodded she saw the cracks in the controlled façade, saw the fear and terror in the dark eyes and how Nick's hands trembled as he reached for the water bottle. A quick glance towards Gil showed her that the older man had seen it too, but let it go knowing that Nick hated breaking down in front of someone.

 

Gil's eyes met hers and she understood what he was saying without words. Sighing lightly she stood up, went to the toilet. When she came back to get her coat, she saw the two men once again in each others arms, hugging so tight that the despair they felt was visible. Nick caressed Gil's neck softly and whispered soft words in his ear. His eyes met hers and she could read the gratefulness and waved goodbye.

 

Nick's smile accompanied her to the door, but just as she was about to leave she heard Gil's voice again.

 

"If it weren't for me, nothing would have happened, you would be safe..."

 

Shivering she waited for a moment until Nick's answer drifted over to her.

 

"You know that is not the truth, don't blame yourself for loving me... Don't fall prey to him, please, love, don't sacrifice our love for him..."

 

Again a shiver went through her body at the soothing, yet desperate words from the younger CSI and as she stepped outside in the sunshine Catherine vowed to herself that neither Gil nor Nick would ever find out how evil the entire plan had been.

 

---

 

Brass and Ecklie were arguing outside the building when Catherine parked her car, coming closer she heard the words 'idiot', 'creep' and others and smiled lightly.

 

"What's wrong Gentlemen?"

 

The two men turned around and growled. To her surprise she realized that they hadn't been arguing with each other, but about something else.

 

"Just back from a visit with Lower, I can't stomach this guy anymore."

 

Ecklie's face was pale, deep wrinkles around his eyes and Catherine once again was surprised to see how this case affected the other man. Ecklie wasn't a friend of Gil's and yet he worked on this case with a force and determination that stunned her. She was tempted to ask, but before she could say anything, Jim focused on her.

 

"You were at Gil's, how are they?"

 

Taking a deep breath she walked ahead and went into the next empty meeting room, once there she told them what she had seen and talked with Grissom. When she finished it was silent until Ecklie fixed her again.

 

"Are they together?"

 

Unsure how to answer, she avoided her eyes only to return them shocked, when he hit the table hard with his hand.

 

"Damm Cat, I am not your fucking enemy. You think I would try this hard, just to destroy them once this is over?"

 

His eyes burned and suddenly insecure she swallowed hard. Something was going on here, but instead of asking she nodded and clarified with words.

 

"Yes, they are... and Conrad, Gil can never find out about the details Lower said, it would... it would kill him"

 

Ecklie nodded, but his eyes were hard. He glanced at Jim and shook his head.

 

"Fuck it, this bastard plays the music and we just dance along... Everything is going as he planned it, everything just like he..."

 

His voice trailed off when Sara knocked and walked inside, she looked just as exhausted as the rest of them did, but her eyes were alert and there was a tremble in her hand.

 

"We narrowed down the substance and found 24 houses which were painted with the water-repellent in 2004. 12 private houses in various suburbs, three have since then been repainted with another chemical solution..." she put down a map with red dots on it "... these are the remaining 9 houses. Snowdon must have been on one of them before the shootings..."

 

Catherine looked at the map and then at Sara, the younger woman seemed paler than normal and swallowing hard again she pointed at one red dot.

 

"Archie did a computer simulation, from this rooftop, he has a direct shot at Gil's house."

 

Brass, Ecklie and Catherine froze as the meaning of Sara's words registered and for a second it seemed as if Conrad's words were echoing through the room.

 

'this bastard plays the music and we just dance along'

 

----

 

*Chapter 9*

 

"Gil, talk to me"

 

Nick's arms were tight around him and he could feel the strong body pressed against his back. Soft hands caressed his arms and the words were spoken in a gentle, pleading tone. It was everything Gil had dreamed off in the rare occasions he had allowed himself to dream of being with Nick. And yet he couldn't bring himself to speak, couldn't bring himself to snap out of the fear that had grabbed him the moment he'd realized that there was just one bullet left...

 

"Gil, please don't shut me out"

 

He could feel the light tremble that went through Nick's body at those words and suddenly realized that his lover was just as afraid as he was, if not more. Slowly he turned around and lifted a hand to caress Nick's face gently.

 

"None of this would have happened without me."

 

Gil wanted to say more, but Nick's hand went to his lips and a stern shake of his lover's head told him that speaking wasn't an option. Instead he felt the other hand drawing him closer towards the strong body and as he leaned against it, Nick softly began to speak.

 

"Do you remember the Hendler case?"

 

He knew that just by the tension in his body, Nick knew he did. It had been one of those cases where nothing should have gone wrong and almost everything had. It had been the first time he had been faced with the fact that he could lose Nick on the job, not just lose him to another person but lose him completely, finally...

 

"I stared in the face of a gun that day and it didn't have anything to do with you. I got stalked by Nigel Crane and you weren't the reason for it."

 

Gil pressed Nick's body against his, he couldn't hear more, he couldn't go back to these moments where he had almost lost the most precious person in his life. But Nick spoke on, knowing probably what he did to Gil but pressing on nonetheless and the older CSI realized that his lover had a point to make.

 

"Gil, I have been in danger, but everytime I was, you were there to safe me. Do you realize this? Do you understand, that if it hadn't been for you, Amy Hendler would have shot me? That without the call you made to Brass, Nigel would have killed me?"

 

His lover was relentless and forced him to look at the painful cases in a different way, the way, Gil suddenly realized Nick looked at them. Suddenly he understood and a shiver of something went through him, he couldn't name it, it was fear and terror and yet it was also relief and awe... Nick met his eyes and in the dark depths he saw the love this young man felt for him, saw the confidence and trust and most of all saw the truth that Nick had seen all along.

 

"Without you, none of this here would have happened, because I would be dead for a long time. Without you Gil, I would have never worked on this case, but not because I had been somewhere else, but because I would be dead, gone forever..."

 

Nick's hand ghosted over his face before it joined the other in the tight hug again and Gil found himself mesmerized by the one tear that slipped out Nick's eyes.

 

"You've kept me safe so far, and I know you will keep doing so."

 

The trust and love in those simple words made him shiver and for a moment he couldn't do anything but hold Nick close and thank the powers to be that they had brought this man into his life. When Nick Stokes had walked into Jim's office all those years ago, he had been caught in an acute feeling of lust at first sight, but it hadn't been until a particularly gruelling case that he had admitted to himself the love he felt for Nick. And suddenly I felt the urge to take Nick away and show him those places in the world that had become a secret haven for him, when the reality of Las Vegas became too much.

 

"When this is all over I want us to go away on holidays. I want to show you a place like nothing else on Earth, a place where you are closer to heaven and hell than anywhere in the world..."

 

He hadn't realized that he'd spoken loudly and it wasn't until Nick tensed in his arms than he did. Looking at him with a smile in his face, his lover disentangled himself from his arms to walk over to the kitchen grabbing a glass of water and drinking it slowly.

 

"Where to you want to go? Heaven and hell??? I think we've got enough of hell here in Vegas, don't you think?"

 

It was a different kind of hell, but Gil knew that he would never have to words to explain the reality of what Iceland was to him and so he just smiled and showed Nick the picture of the glacier lake on his desk.

 

"Iceland"

 

He could see Nick looking at the picture of the large icebergs floating on the pale water, saw his lover look at the dark formation in the pure ice, dark marks that came from the volcanic ash and for a moment he forgot the threat that hang over their heads and imagined how it would be if he were to show Nick this special and different country.

 

Nick shook his head and smiled, but his smile vanished when Gil's phone rang and for a moment Gil saw the younger man tense, before he grabbed the small gadget and handed it over.

 

"Do you think hiding behind closed doors and curtains is enough for your lover to survive?"

 

Gil felt hate starting to boil in his stomach when he saw the frantic glance that Nick sent to the windows, but before either of them could say anything, the voice continued harshly.

 

"Do you want to find out what it is all about? Do you want to see the reality behind the truth?"

 

It were the spiteful words that made Gil shiver, but at the same time his mind was completely lucent and he analysed the game that Lower played with him while he waited to make his move. He knew that the only way to get Nick safe out of this was to play along and try to win a game he was supposed to lose right from the start.

 

"You know that I want to know what the truth is, but I am not sacrificing Nick for this quest of truth."

 

There was no reason to deny Nick's importance and so he didn't.

 

"Come to see me, then, but I want to talk with you and only you. Don't you dare to bring this bloodhound of a cop or the other CSI with you. You come to me and maybe, just maybe your CSI lover will be allowed to live."

 

He had had killers play games with him, killing so that it was clear they were challenging him to find them like Sid Goggle had, killing so that he had known he was on their target list like Paul Millander, but he had been able to play along because it had been him who was endangered, him who would be dead if the worst came to pass. In all the previous times, Gil had been able to keep his mind working and be detatched enough to never loose track of the reality and of the intentions behind every move.

 

It wasn't working now, fear clouded his judgement and he couldn't answer as the taunting voice asked again if Lower could expect him, for a moment he was paralysed and it took a while for him to realize that Nick had taken the phone from his hand and slowly, silently but in a voice so deadly that it almost scared Gil spoke to Lower.

 

"Touch him, hurt him or cause him pain in any way and there won't be a safe place on this planet for you to hide."

 

Eyes open with shock, Gil watched as Nick ended the phone call without waiting for an answer and turned the phone off. Only then did his lover turn to him and all the anger that was in those dark eyes disappeared and was replaced by love and concern.

 

"Gil, don't listen to him"

 

But Nick didn't understand men like Lower the way Gil did and so he just shook his head and went to grab his jacket. Nick's hand on his shoulder stopped him for a moment and he turned around to meet pleading eyes.

 

"Don't go Gil, don't let anyone doing this to you, don't let him hurt you like this. Please..."

 

The dominant strong man who had spoken to Lower had disappeared and in his place was the Nick, Gil knew so well, strong yet caring and full of love and concern. It made the band around his heart tighten and so did his resolve to talk to Lower, talk to him and talk him down.

 

"I have to Nick, he wants to play and I have to accept. It's the only way I can beat him at this game."

 

Nick's hand slipped from his shoulder but instead of letting go, the younger man held him close and silently pleaded with him to stay. Gil felt the silent resignation when Nick drew back and quietly kissed him.

 

"Come back to me Gil, please come back to me"

 

The tears in the dark eyes said what Nick didn't dare saying. He was afraid that this entire plot would end with Gil lying somewhere dead.

 

And as Gil walked towards the Tahoe, he silently promised Nick that he would come back. But he too knew that if given the choice between him and Nick...

 

It wouldn't even be a choice.

 

---

 

"Nick, buddy, what's up, you sound terrible!"

 

Warrick pretty much felt like slapping himself with something hard as soon as he said those words. How was Nick supposed to sound after all he'd been through?

 

"Rick, I need your help."

 

There was an urgency in Nick's voice that triggered all of Warrick's inner alarms and immediately he sped up in his car driving way over the speed limit towards the lab.

 

"Anything, anytime"

 

It was a standard answer between them and one that was true. There was nothing Warrick wouldn't have done for Nick and vice versa. They had saved each other from gambling addictions and mad mans more than once and Warrick had promised himself that this time wouldn't be different. He wasn't going to lose his friend over an idiot with a grouch against Grissom.

 

"Gil got a call from Lower taunting him about us hiding and..."

 

Nick's voice broke for a moment, but Warrick just gave him time until the other CSI found his voice again and continued.

 

"... he's on his way to see him at the prison... I don't know Rick, I have a really bad feeling about this... I don't want him out there alone with him..."

 

Warrick could have told Nick that the bad feeling he had had just doubled but he didn't want to scare Nick too much and so he just told his friend that he would take care of it and to be careful.

 

"Promise me one thing Nick, no matter what, stay inside ok!"

 

The slightly annoyed but affirmative grumble from the other side made him smile both amused and relieved. He didn't want Nick outside and somehow he had a bad feeling about his friend being alone, shrugging his shoulders he once again told Nick to remain where he was not matter what and hung up. Shivering lightly at the thought of Gil and Lower in the same room he called Brass and asked him to catch Gil on his way to the prison.

 

As he walked into the lab, he noticed Cat, Sara, and Ecklie sitting in the conference room looking pale and tired, the tension was thick in the room and it almost made him walk backwards until Catherine looked up and he saw the fear in her eyes.

 

"Cat, what has happened?"

 

An incredible fear clenches at his heart and silently he pleads to all the Gods in the world that her next words won't be a declaration of Nick's death. He couldn't lose his friend, wouldn't survive if he wasn't strong enough to save him. Nick had kept him safe, when he'd been falling after the episode with the singer and now it was his turn and all Warrick hoped was that he could repay the favour.

"Sara matched the traces from the floors and got the houses that were using this chemical as a water repellent, one of the houses is close to Gils... If Nick goes outside..."

 

Catherine's voice trailed off and Ecklie picked up when it became clear that she wasn't able to say it.

 

"... Snowdon gets a clear shot at him."

 

The bad feeling that Warrick had felt when Nick told him about Gil driving to Lower increased to a level he recognized as panic and with a shiver he tried to control the urge of running off and driving to Nick.

 

"Gil's gone to see Lower"

 

His words seemed to hang in the room as his colleagues realized what the implications were.

 

"Nick promised me to stay inside, no matter what!"

 

The three other people just looked at him and with a sigh, he had to admit the truth.

 

"But we all know how Nick is."

 

For a moment there was silence again, then though Ecklie started to issue orders speaking fast and in a voice that didn't allow and contradiction. Warrick saw that the older CSI was pale and that there was a fear in the dark eyes that confused him. Ecklie, like the rest of the team, seemed to take this much more personal than a normal case, but where it was to be expected by the nightshift, it came as a surprise that the man who tried everything to demote Gil was just as concerned.

 

"Catherine, you call the prison and Brass, Gil is not allowed to see Lower under any circumstances ok!"

 

"Warrick, you drive out to Stokes and for god's sake call him and tell him about the potential shooter on the opposite roof."

 

"Sidle, you and I notify the police about the shooter and then we go to that damn building making sure that this bastard won't escape."

 

They walked or more ran out of the room knowing that in this moment every second counted, but when Catherine stopped as if she had walked into a wall they couldn't help feeling inept and as if nothing was enough. They all knew what she was going to say and her trembling words confirmed it.

 

"Brass was too late, Gil is already with Lower."

 

---

 

"Mr. Grissom, I feel honoured that you left your lover just to see me."

 

Gil had suppressed his feelings for Nick for so long that it almost came naturally and although he was surprised by the ease with which he managed to push all thoughts of Nick and the threat against him of his mind, he wasn't going to complain.

 

"You wanted to see me, so here I am."

 

He could see that the cold voice and his calm manners rattled Lower, but when a quick smile crossed the other man's face, he knew that in order to win this game he still had a long way to go.

 

"You know, I didn't really want to see you Mr. Grissom. But I have studied you, you and Mr. Stokes and I noticed one thing. As much in love as you guys might be, you are very different people, but there is one trait you both have."

 

Lower looked up and as Gil followed his eyes, he saw Brass walking towards them. Lower smiled again and leaned closer.

 

"You both forget your safety if it comes to the safety of others."

 

Something cold ran through Gil at this words and he looked deep into Lower's eyes. The other man fixed him and this time it was a smile of pure evil triumph.

 

"What do you think will your lover do, if a distraught woman knocks on his door, telling him that she'd heard a shot and that Mr. Grissom is lying outside?"

 

Brass had come into the room just as the last words were spoken and Gil had never been so happy to see his friend. One look was enough and Brass indicated to the guards to take Lower away, only when the killer was gone did Gil answer the question and the answer made him feel ill to his stomach.

 

"Nick wouldn't go outside, he's smarter than that. He knows that there is a woman involved."

 

Brass' voice cut through his thoughts, but Gil shook his head.

 

"No, he would... because it will be me she mentions."

 

The truth of the statement seemed to hang between them as they drove towards Gil's house.

 

"He will run outside because he loves me."

 

Brass tried to cut him off, but Gil just spoke on.

 

"And that love will kill him."

 

---

 

*Chapter 10*

 

Sara wondered why Ecklie had chosen her to take down the shooter, but before she could even ask, the other man turned and she felt cold hard eyes assess her.

 

"I asked you, cause you seem to be the least emotional of the group."

 

Not knowing if he was insulting her or complimenting her, she stayed quiet and waited for more information.

 

"Catherine and Warrick would shoot the guy immediately and so would Brass, you on the other hand, you'd at least wait for him to turn around."

 

Ecklie's voice was calm and cold and it made Sara want to scream at him. She wanted to get some emotions out of the other CSI, but before she even could say a word, the supervisor raised a hand to silence her.

 

"Don't Sidle, just don't"

 

There was just a strong emotion behind those short words, that Sara quieted down before she even realized what she did. For a moment there was silence in the car until Sara gathered her courage and asked calmly for their next steps.

 

"I've already called O'Reilly and he will be waiting for us at the building. Then we will go up to the roof, find him and bring him down."

 

It sounded so easy that Sara almost missed the last words.

 

"... and hope we won't be too late."

 

The words hung heavy between them until Sara leaned down and turned the radio on. The soft voice of some pop singer seemed to lighten the mood a bit and Sara forced herself to relax.

 

Nick will be fine, she kept telling herself, he had to be fine. There was no other option.

 

Three more blocks, one right turn and then 8 more blocks, they would make it in time, she was sure.

 

It was only when she heard Ecklie's gasp, that she realized that change in music and the song filtering out through the speakers made her shiver and suddenly she wasn't so sure whether they would make it in time.

 

---

 

There was only so much on Discovery Channel that one could watch without getting antsy and the fact that at the same moment as he watched a documentary about mating rituals of the Australian saltwater crocodile, Gil was talking to Lower, didn't help either.

 

Nick's finger shook as he grabbed the remote to search for something more interesting, but in his mind he already knew that nothing would be able to keep him from imagining his lover sitting opposite the man who wanted to kill him.

 

He didn't remember the case too well, in a way it had just been another murder and the only thing that stood out in connection with the case, was that Gil had once again refused to let him work a murder case alone. Nick smiled bitterly as he remembered the humiliation he had felt, when Gil had told him about his decision and suddenly his eyes stung with tears.

 

All I wanted was to protect you

 

Gil had never said so, but with the knowledge he had now, Nick knew that this had been the real reason for his decision. If only the older CSI had explained it back then, but then again, without knowing about Gil's love for him, there would have been no way, he would have believed it.

 

"We are idiots"

 

The words echoed from the almost bare walls of Gil's townhouse and Nick shivered at their hollow sound. He felt imprisoned, felt as if the walls were suddenly closing in, trapping him here for eternity, alone with some cockroaches and spiders.

 

"Come back to me Gil"

 

This time the words were a mere whisper and yet they seemed to resonate in the room and suddenly Nick couldn't stand the silence anymore, couldn't stand the walls anymore and with a shiver he turned the TV back on, upped the volume to loud and walked over to the window. Just one peak outside, just one breath of fresh air...

 

The desire was damn strong, but just as reached out to open the blinds, Warrick's voice flittered through his mind.

 

'Promise me one thing Nick, no matter what, stay inside ok'

 

He was staying inside his rebellious side argued, but his heart remembered the underlying fear and pain in Warrick's voice and he withdrew his hand.

 

"Time for a shower"

 

It wasn't exactly the fresh air he'd been looking for, but fresh water would have to do. Nick stretched his muscles and turned his face towards the spray, trying to get the tension out of his body, but at the same time he knew that the tension would remain until Gil was back home.

 

The music on TV changed, but the sound was half muted by the shower and so Nick neither realized that his phone was ringing, nor that the song played on MTV was achingly familiar.

 

---

 

Catherine couldn't remember another case where it had felt so much as if time had sped up while everything she did was in slow motion. Since she had called Brass, she'd been consulting with Ecklie on the phone, headed over to Greg for some last minute results and walked over to her Tahoe to drive to Nick.

 

And now she was stuck in a traffic jam.

 

Everything she 'd done shouldn't have taken more than 10 Minutes and yet when she looked at her watch it thirty had passed already.

 

The ringing of her phone made her flinch and tremble with apprehension, but nothing showed in her voice when she answered.

 

"Cat, I can't reach Nick"

 

Warrick's voice held a note of panic in it and for a moment the image of Nick lying in front of his house in a pool of blood, but immediately she had a grip on herself again and calmly answered the frantic man on the other side of the phone.

 

"Warrick, it doesn't have to mean anything..."

 

Her voice trailed off as the song started, the hard guitar riffs played by one of the best guitarists in the world. She had once loved this band, but now hearing them made her want to sob.

 

"Cat, Cat are you still there?"

 

Her colleague's insistent and urgent words got her back into reality, but all she could say was.

 

"Turn your radio on"

 

---

 

"Turn your radio on"

 

He didn't want to because from the trembling in Catherine's voice, he knew what song he would hear and the brutal reality of what it could mean came once again crashing down on him.

 

Warrick had never realized that the worst thing about losing someone was the knowledge that there was nothing he could do to prevent it. He had lost people close to him, but with most of them, he had only found out when it was too late. He had never had to endure the torture of watching it happen without any possibility to stop it.

 

'What are you doing here?'

 

'I'm playing cards with a friend.'

 

Nick's words when he had sat down next to him at the table, they had never played, instead Nick had taken him to the mountains, had made him climb the rocky hills that surrounded Las Vegas and there in the middle of nowhere had held him as he had broken down.

 

'I need time, Warrick, I still can't go back without seeing him in my room'

 

He remembered the desperate words that had come out of the blue one night, they had been on a scene and he'd asked something about a game from the evening before. Nick's voice had trembled and this time it had been Warrick who had dragged his friend to the country side, but unlike Nick, he had done so by taking is 4x4.

 

Remembering the two instances, where he had finally learned how important friends were, Warrick shook himself from his trance as he realized that he'd already thought of Nick in the past tense. The violent shivers that started in his body had nothing to do with fear and everything with anger as he drove his car to the exit line and started to speed up.

 

There was no way some bastard was going to make him lose Nick.

 

---

 

For the entire and way too long drive from the prison facility to Gil's house Jim kept glancing at Gil, waiting for the other man to say something, so show some emotion, but since he had spoken those final, fatal words, Gil hadn't said anything.

 

'and this love will kill him'

 

Jim had known Gil for a long time, had seen him fall for Nick the moment the Texan had walked into the CSI office. He still remembered how Gil had immediately withdrawn from those emotions, had withdrawn from Nick, but he also remembered how Nick's open and charming personality had not accepted this withdrawal and so the two had struck something like a friendship.

 

It was obvious that this friendship had developed into love and Brass was happy for Gil, happy and at the same time incredibly concerned. If something happened to Nick, if they came too late, what would happen with Gil?

 

Forcefully he pushed the terrible thoughts away and focused on something to say. The one thing that came to his mind was probably not the smartest idea but at least it didn't involve Nick dying and so he said it.

 

"What are you going to do with Nick and you openly an item?"

 

Grissom looked at him as if he had just woken up from a nightmare and then shrugged.

 

"I don't know, step down as the supervisor, Catherine can do it, she's way better at the political aspects anyway."

 

With a smile Brass nodded to that, relieved that he had gotten Gil out of this trance-like state and into thinking about the future, but soon enough the CSI fell silent again. Checking his watch again and again, he shook his head and suddenly looked at Jim with something like dread in his face.

 

"What if we are too late?"

 

---

 

Simon Lower was lying on his in his cell listening to the radio his hands crossed behind his head, eyes closed... He had been waiting for this moment and now that it was going to happen he was going to savour it.

 

"Next song is a couple of years old, but hey they are still hot and still rocking and in fact they're in town in two weeks, so have fun with Bono and Edge and 'Even better than the real thing'."

 

The hard guitar riffs resonated through the small cell and Lower smiled.

 

He knew that for the people of the CSI Las Vegas team time would freeze in the moment they heard this song on the radio. Still with his eyes closed he imagined each of them...

 

... Brown violently turning the radio off, almost ripping of the knob doing so, face twisted in impotent rage and anger

 

... Willows freezing for a moment, her mask slipping as the terror spread through her body, then almost immediately clamping down on any emotions, cold again, hard again, only her eyes betraying fear and hate

 

... Sidle paling, shaking when the realization set in, frantically reaching for her gun, painfully aware that no overtime, no intellect could save her colleague anymore, screaming at the guy in front of her car, her face mirroring the violent emotions that raged through her a potent combination of insecurity and fury

 

... Brass cursing at the song, but at the same time not able to hide the apprehension although apprehension for what was about to happen or what was going to happen after wasn't clear

 

... Grissom trembling with grief, shaking with the knowledge of what he had just lost and yet still wearing the mask of the unemotional scientist, still pretending to care about nothing but the evidence, his face giving nothing away, the only sign of his grief the hands that shook when they reached to turn off the radio

 

Lower smiled again, could feel the victory, could almost taste it, when suddenly another face appeared in his memory. Dark hair, cold hard blue eyes, pale skin and an arrogance that almost mirrored Lower's, the killer's smile faded when he remembered the cold way the CSI had interrogated him.

 

Conrad Ecklie was a factor he hadn't counted on, the one unknown in this equitation and for a mathematical mind like Lower having an unknown variable in his game wasn't something he could accept.

 

Tension slowly crept into his body as he went over his plan again checking it for faults and issues, finding none and yet the uneasy feeling stayed.

 

The song came to an end and Lower stretched his body, enjoyed the feeling of joints and muscles relaxing as he forced the tension to melt away. The sign had been given and soon they all would find that one hard eyed CSI more wouldn't make a difference. Lower could imagine all their reactions so well, he saw their faces locked in this moment, this moment when they would realize that he had won.

 

Again he imagined their reactions, their faces when they would see Stokes on the street, not dead but dying, not fatally wounded but still serious enough to cause fatal blood loss and for a moment he revelled in the pain they would feel, once they'd realize that there was nothing they could to do to help, because his last instruction to Frank had been clear.

 

'Shoot anyone who goes near him'

 

---

 

Chapter 11

 

When Nick finally emerged from the shower, he had used up all hot water, had given his muscles a good soak and yet he still felt ill at ease and antsy. Shaking his head at the weird music that was blaring through the house, he walked over and turned the TV off.

 

The sudden silence made him stand still and somehow it seemed the empty walls were only enhancing the silence. Nick smiled lightly and shook his head.

 

"When this is over, we're going shopping for some art"

 

He smiled as he imagined him and Gil walking through art galleries and selecting pictures, but somehow he couldn't see them doing this, it was simply too much, too fast... In a couple of years maybe... Nick's breath caught at the thought of being with Gil for the rest of his life and with a shudder he suddenly sat down staring at his shaking hands.

 

"Please let us get through this, let Gil come back to me"

 

It wasn't so much that he feared for Gil's physical safety, but Nick knew how destructive words could be and he was terrified of what Lower would tell Gil. Yet at the same time he was determined not to let his lover get away, he had had a taste of the real Gil Grissom and he wasn't going lose him now.

 

Absently he played with the remote control as he thought back to their love-making and trembled slightly at the care and love that Gil had shown despite the passion and lust which had flared between them. The next time they would make love, he wanted to explore his lover's body, wanted time to find every hot spot and caress every angle. Leaning back he closed his eyes and started to plan how exactly he would seduce Gil, where he would kiss and mark him... He felt his body tighten at the memories and ideas and slowly his hand moved over his body until the thud of the remote control falling from his other hand brought him back into reality. Leaning down to grab and put it on the table, Nick finally noticed his cell phone and frowned.

 

11 missed calls?

 

"Who the fuck?"

 

But as he said it, dread filled him and he tensed.

 

"Please not Gil"

 

The calls had come from Warrick, Warrick, again Warrick, Catherine, Brass, Catherine again and five more times Warrick. Nick swallowed the lump in his throat as the implication hit him, three people had desperately tried to call him and none of them had been Gil.

 

His hands shook as he dialled Warrick's number and waited for his friend to pick up.

 

"Nick, oh God, thanks"

 

Warrick's voice was frantic and Nick immediately reacted to it.

 

"Rick, please tell me Gil is alright, please..."

 

His voice trailing off, he held his breath as he waited for Warrick to answer. For a moment there was silence on the other end, but then.

 

"Nick, he is alright, we called about you, listen to me Nick, you can't go outside, we know that the shooter is on one of the buildings with a clear shot, Nick, please no matter what you hear or what they tell you, don't go outside"

 

Nick heard the words, but they didn't really register, his legs were shaking and he felt dizzy as soon as he heard that Gil was alright. Concentrating again on the phone he noticed the urgency in Warrick's voice and almost apologetic he asked his friend to repeat, what he had said. Yet, just as Rick started again, Nick heard a shot

 

"Rick, hold on, someone's been shooting outside..."

 

Nick was about to walk towards the window, when he heard a frenzied knock on the door and someone shouting for help.

 

Immediately he turned around and ran towards the door, urgently talking to Warrick on the phone at the same time.

 

"Call the police, something has happened out here, I'm going to have a look"

 

-----

 

"... I'm going to have a look"

 

The world stopped right at this moment, Warrick had a short feeling of being completely frozen before he stopped the car hard and jumped out of it. He could see the woman knocking on Gil's door, saw that the dummy lying on the street, slightly hidden by a car, saw the door opening slowly and got his gun out.

 

"Las Vegas Police, freeze"

 

The woman froze, but to his horror Warrick could see Nick standing in the open door, open, exposed and vulnerable to any shooter.

 

"Nick, this is a set up, get inside and close the door"

 

His voice was trembling as he shouted at his friend and it took all his will not to run over to bodily push Nick back. He remembered Sara's words though and stood behind his car seeking cover from the sharp shooter on the large apartment building opposite the house.

 

"Nick, please get back in, please"

 

He whispered the words until he realized that whispering them would not help him, and then shouted them over at Nick, who still stood frozen, staring at the woman, Warrick and the body he must see from afar.

 

"It's not Gil, Nick, Gil is fine!"

 

From the corner of his eyes he saw another car stopping and Catherine jumping out of the vehicle. Immediately he drew her attention towards him and motioned her to be cautious knowing that nothing would make Nick come out more, than one of them been shot. It was just a moment he changed his attention from the woman to Cat, but it was enough. Cat's shout alerted him and with growing dread he turned around and closed his eyes in despair at what he saw.

 

Nick standing out on the porch, a gun pointed at him

 

---

 

Nick heard Rick's voice, but for a second the words didn't really register in his mind, too much of his focus was on the body lying in the driveway, a body which he couldn't see clearly, but from the clothing looked like Gil. Bile rose in his throat and his heart stopped for a moment as he realized that his worst nightmare was coming true...

 

"Please not Gil"

 

As if in an answer to his prayer, Warrick's voice drifted over to him again, the desperation clear in it and Nick suddenly shivered in the hot sunshine.

 

"Nick, get back inside, please"

 

His friend's words were sensible and the rational part of Nick's brain told him to do exactly this, but his heart screamed at him that he couldn't go inside not when his lover was lying out there, not with Gil dying... A sob escaped his throat as he looked at the woman next to him, a woman who completely still in the threat of Warrick's weapon trained on her.

 

"It's not Gil, Gil is fine"

 

Again the urgency in Warrick's voice broke through his thoughts and this time they silenced his heart and with his brain ruling his movements he took a closer look at the body suddenly noticing that Gil hadn't worn dark pants when he had left the house, noticing that there was no way Gil would wear trainers and finally the last of his fears was placated. Silently praying that he didn't make a mistake, he moved around to close the door and hide himself inside.

 

"Move and I shoot you"

 

Her voice was calm, her hands were steady holding the gun towards his head without even the smallest tremble, but it was the burning hatred in her green eyes that made Nick shiver because he suddenly realized that he had seen such hatred before. Several months ago, on a cold dark night, eyes just as cold and hard as hers had stared at Gil with the same hate and distaste in them... Simon Lower's eyes...

 

Slowly he moved his hands in order to show his acceptance and nodded silently.

 

"What do you want?"

 

She looked at him coldly before she moved him forwards so that he stood a bit away from the door, exposed in the sun and, as he noticed with a shiver, exposed to any sniper.

 

"Now we wait for your lover to arrive"

 

Gil! Fear once again rose in his body, but this time it was a different kind of fear, because finally he understood their plan, understood that they didn't just want to shoot him and had never planned, understood that Lower wanted Gil to see him die and for a second Nick closed his eyes.

 

"Don't do it"

 

His voice was trembling as he pleaded with the woman, but her eyes remained just as cold and hard.

 

"Already begging for your life? Already afraid of dying?"

 

Her taunting words had no effect on Nick, though, cause just as she spoke them he realized the truth. He wasn't afraid of dying, he wasn't begging for himself, no, Nick was begging because he knew that watching him die would kill Gil, knew that his lover would blame himself for his death...

 

And as he watched the dark Tahoe speed towards the house he made himself a promise to get through this alive.

 

Not for himself, but for Gil.

 

---

 

Brass swore as he took in the situation before him: Warrick and Catherine on one side of the drive way, and Vega's car on the other and although they all had their weapons trained on the woman standing next to Nick, it was clear that it wasn't them who had the upper hand.

 

Because even with three weapons trained on her, she was the one who called the shots with her gun pointing at Nick.

 

"No"

 

From the corner of his eyes he saw Grissom move and immediately reached out to hold him back, pin him inside the car. The other man's strength almost took him by surprise, but Jim hadn't been in the police force for over twenty years and not developed some muscles. He pushed Gil back in his seat, held him there by sheer force, even though he felt his heart clench at the sight of the pain and anguish in his friends face.

 

"Let me go, Jim, let me get him"

 

In his mind, Brass cursed Lower again for knowing Gil so well, for reading his mind so clearly and he hated that the killer had been able to anticipate Grissom's every move. Slowly he looked at his friend until he knew he had Gil's attention before he stared to speak.

 

"Gil, if you get out of this car, they will shoot Nick."

 

For a moment, Gil was still before a shiver went through his body as he realized the truth of Jim's statement, Brass watched as the fear in Gil's eyes transformed to understanding and then to terror. He felt the fight leaving Gil's body as the other man accepted that he had to remain inside.

 

"Stay here, we will get Nicky out of this, I promise"

 

Brass didn't know yet, how they would get Nick out of the deadly trap Lower had set up, but he knew that every person here would do their best to save the man standing out there.

 

"Trust us"

 

It had to be hard for Gil, who wasn't used to trust others, who had never learned how to ask for help and Brass could see the struggle in the CSI's face. Closing his eyes for a moment, Gil finally nodded, his voice was trembling slightly as he pleaded with his friend.

 

"Save him, get him out of there"

 

Getting out of the car, Brass prayed that Gil's trust wasn't misplaced.

 

---

 

 

"O'Reilly is here, we have a key to the roof, let's go. Fast"

 

Sidle's words were short and curt and for a moment Ecklie congratulated himself for his decision to take her with him. He followed her up the stairs, walking and watching, both of them knowing that the actual take down of Snowdon wasn’t their job, but the SWAT teams.

 

The dark clothed police men moved without any sound as they walked through the apartment building, communicating with signs until they reached the roof door. Once there, they opened it with the key, turning it almost painfully slow in the lock and without wanting too, Ecklie felt his entire body tensing as a soft screeching noise was heard. Then they were suddenly on the roof and swarmed the sniper, disarming him without even one bullet being fired.

 

For the first time since he had been called in by a frantic Jim Brass, he felt himself relax as he watched the police officers escorting the sniper down while he rang Brass.

 

"Not now"

 

Ecklie had never liked mobile phones since it seemed every time he used one, he got barked at by the person he called. Knowing the stress, Brass was under; he kept his mood under control and told the captain about the arrest. The good news though were met with a deep sigh.

 

"The woman is holding Nick at gun point out in front of the house."

 

Brass hung up as soon as he'd spoken and Ecklie cursed silently. This was a development, he hadn't anticipated and as he told Sara and O'Reilly, he saw their shock and anger.

 

"This bastard has every possibility covered."

 

Sara held the rifle in her hands while he spoke and fiddled with the safety before reaching to get the bullets out. For a moment Ecklie just looked at the deadly weapon, knowing that there was a way to save Stokes, but also knowing that by saving the younger CSI he would have to do something he once promised himself to never do again.

 

"Give me the rifle, Sidle"

 

He saw the surprise in Sara's eyes as he took the weapon and professionally reloaded it. Years of training took over as he felt himself zoomed back into the past. He had put this all behind and when he moved to lie down where only minutes before Snowdon had had his weapon trained on Nick, he could feel both Sara's and O'Reilly's eyes on him in confusion and probably fear. For a moment their looks disconcerted him, before instincts learned through hours and hours of training took over and he felt his surroundings fade away.

 

The weapon in his arms was familiar, the movements and procedures still ingrained in him even though he hadn't shot a rifle anywhere but on a shooting range for over twenty years. He noted the wind, the speed and strength of it and in the same time felt the mental and physical response of his body, felt his heart rate slow down, his breathing adjusting to the trance like state as he looked through the seeker and focused on his target.

 

---

 

Sara wasn't sure if she had just fallen through a rabbit hole and woken up in the twilight zone. Ecklie had behaved weirdly throughout the entire case, but she had chalked it up to the man having a human side somewhere hidden between the ambitions and the idiot.

 

Now though, as she looked at the older CSI handling the deadly weapon with an ease and a knowledge only professional shooters had, she felt like she didn’t know the day shift supervisor at all.

 

“Call Brass, tell him, I’ve got her on target”

 

Even the voice was different. It wasn’t the smooth, oily voice of the man who constantly tried to best Gil, this voice was calm, it was the voice of someone who had himself and his surroundings completely under control. And it was a voice that demanded immediate compliance with orders; Sara almost smiled when she realized that she had dialled Brass’ number without even thinking twice.

 

“Brass, Ecklie told me to call him. He’s on the roof with the rifle and he says he’s got the woman on target.”

 

She knew that her confusion shone through her voice, but to her surprise Brass seemed to have anticipated this development and his instructions were clear as he told her to rely everything he said onto Ecklie.

 

“Don’t shoot until we give you a go. I will try to talk with her, keep her in target, but unless it is absolutely necessary don’t shoot.”

 

Sara felt numb as she repeated the words, her lips forming them, but her mind didn’t seem to catch up. It was almost as if she was watching herself talking to Brass, repeating his words for Ecklie. This was not what she had been trained for, this was not the science she had studied and although she had had her share of run-ins, had even fired her weapon once or twice, this here... This just felt as if she was in a bad Jerry Bruckheimer movie.

 

“Sidle, you listening?”

 

Gathering herself, she apologized to Brass and then repeated the words for Ecklie.

 

“If you have to shoot, it has to be fatal.”

 

Her voice trembled at those words, but before she could say anything, O'Reilly took the phone from her hands and gestured that she should sit down. The older police officer talked quickly to Brass and keeping the line open, sat down next to her.

 

“If he shoots her, but only wounds her, Nick is dead.”

 

Sara nodded because she understood that and yet she was glad that the other man had the phone now. O'Reilly’s smile told her that he knew.

 

“It’s ok, I don’t like it either, but it seems to me as if you would blame yourself forever if you had to say the words.”

 

Quickly she put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it.

 

“Thank you”

 

It was a thank you for Nick, for Gil but most of for herself. It was thanks for the fact that he had taken it upon himself to condemn a woman to her death with one word.

 

---

 

“Mrs. Paxton, I am Captain Jim Brass from the Las Vegas Police Department, we have arrested Frank Snowdon, please hand over your weapon and turn yourself in”

 

Nick saw how her hands tightened over the weapon and wondered if he would ever see Gil again.

 

“I will rather shoot you myself than turn myself in.”

 

Her voice was still full of venom, but Nick heard the sudden insecurity behind all the hate and anger. Trying to capture her eyes he remembered how Gil had talked Amy Hendler down and slowly, gently began to speak.

 

“Mrs. Paxton, if you shoot me now, they have no incentive to keep you alive. The SWAT team is here, they have sharp shooters on the roofs, please, you don’t want to die anymore than I want.”

 

Some detached part of Nick’s brain was surprised how sensible his voice sounded, how he managed to talk without trembling. He still looked at her intently his hands up in a defensive way, while he searched his mind for something to reason with her.

 

“You don’t have to follow your brother’s lead. It is your life, your decision.”

 

Her eyes glittered with fury at those words and before he could react she struck him with the gun, pain blazed through his body and he felt the coppery taste of blood where he had bitten his cheek. But he was still alive and the pain only served to remind him.

 

“My brother would not be in prison waiting for his execution, if it weren’t for you and Gil Grissom.”

 

Shaking his head both to clear away the pain that threatened to envelop him and deny her words, Nick spoke again even on the risk that she struck him again.

 

“Your brother killed someone that is why he is in prison.”

 

Her voice was shrill when she answered and Nick could see how her hands trembled lightly. He wasn’t sure if it was a success or not though.

 

“He told me that he only killed because of you two.”

 

Shocked at those words, Nick contradicted her immediately.

 

“Ma’am, I had never seen your brother before we searched his apartment after the murder and neither had Gil Grissom.”

 

Slowly he reached out with his hands, praying that he didn’t make a mistake and stopping as her hands tightened around the barrel again.

 

“Please Mrs. Paxton, if you shoot me now, you will have no chance to see your brother again. Please give me the gun, you... “

 

He heard the clicking sound when the trigger was stretched and closing his eyes he said a prayer, praying, no begging that Gil wasn’t somewhere close, that his lover didn’t have to witness this. He had failed him and that knowledge hurt more than any bullet ever could.

 

“I never knew I had a brother until he called me from prison. I thought all my family was dead, when I found him I was so happy only to realize I would lose him too and then he told me that it was all because of you.”

 

He silently cursed Lower for roping this woman into is demented game of vengeance against Gil, knowing suddenly that she was just as much a victim as he, Gil and the three other dead were.

 

“Please, Mrs. Paxton, you are just as much a victim as we are, any court will recognize this, you will be able to see your brother again. But if you shoot me, they will kill you. Please give me your weapon.”

 

Her eyes found his and he saw a pain and an anguish in them, that moved him deeply, made him want to hold her despite what she had done, despite the fact that she had still a gun trained at his head. Knowing that his feelings were easily read in his eyes, he didn’t avert them, even as tears gathered in them. All Nick hoped was that she could see the sincerity behind his words, that she...

 

“He never called until he needed me”

 

Her words were a mere whisper, while her green eyes bore into his. He could see the shiver running through her body and saw from the corner of his eyes how some police officers moved closer.

 

“He knew I was out there, but he never called.”

 

Nick felt his heart break as she started to realize how her brother had manipulated and used her. He knew that Gil would scold him for his compassion, but he couldn’t help it, couldn’t help that he felt for her.

 

“He never called, never cared...”

 

Her voice trailed off as tears started to run over her face and her body began to tremble. Slowly, very slowly Nick moved closer and took the weapon from her hand. She looked at him while he did it, handed it to him without any resistance and trembled even more as he enclosed her in his arms to prevent her from falling down as her legs gave out.

 

Nick knew that the police would be swarming around them within seconds and gently released her. Her hand on his arms stopped him. Green eyes searched his.

 

“You care”

 

Her voice was confused and yet full of emotions.

 

“I threatened to kill you and yet you care more about me than my own brother ever did.”

 

He didn’t know how to reply and was saved from searching for words as Brass ran up to them, pushing her up and arresting her. The sudden blur of activity around him, made Nick dizzy and he swayed.

 

Strong arms wrapped themselves around him, tightened and he was pressed against Gil’s body, felt the ripples of tension that cursed through his lover as he leaned in and breathed in the unique smell of Gil, no cologne, never cologne, just soap, cleanliness and Gil.

 

He hadn’t failed his lover, he had survived. They had survived.

 

----

 

*Chapter 12*

 

It was as if they had spent the last three days and nights processing evidence from a normal case, Catherine thought, as they all sat in their usual boot in the cosy diner. The talk was light and easy, everyone avoiding to mention the case or anything related to it.

 

Nick sat next to Gil, both of the looking relaxed yet exhausted. The younger CSI had a dark mark on his face, where he had been struck by Mrs. Paxton's gun. He was talking with Warrick while Gil was chatting with Sara and silently Catherine shook her head again.

 

It really was as if nothing special had happened.

 

Just as she had thought that, Ecklie came back, balancing his breakfast and his coffee in one hand while holding two chairs in the other. Brass walked behind him, shaking his head and complaining that he really could carry something too.

 

And with a smile Catherine realized that maybe this wasn't going to be their usual breakfast. Subtly she leaned back, slightly excluding herself from the group and as the rest of her friends and colleagues started to eat and continued to chat, she held her coffee and observed. Because really, while it seemed on the surface as if nothing had changed, one closer look showed her that after these three days nothing would ever be the same again.

 

Gil for instance might be talking with Sara, but unlike before he wasn't completely focused on her. Not that he wasn't concentrating on what she said or take her seriously, no, it was just that even in the deepest discussion about forensics and new developments his hand would seek Nick's. Catherine smiled lightly as she noticed how Nick squeezed his lover's hand and simply continued to eat with one hand. There was something serene in the way Nick leaned back, the way he talked with Warrick and as he casually put his arm on the railing, his fingers touching and caressing Gil's neck, Catherine understood where this serenity came from.

 

Nick had always told her that he missed the roots, the safety net he had had in Texas.

 

'I feel like I'm floating in the air sometimes.'

 

Now he wasn't floating anymore, he was grounded, settled.

 

"What are you doing Cat, sitting there and smiling?"

 

Brass' voice brought her back to reality and she met his gaze, saw the additional lines in his face and contemplated once again how much really had changed.

 

"I was just wondering how incredibly normal this breakfast seems."

 

The detective smiled lightly, before a smirk replaced the smile and he commented out of the blue.

 

"Considering you're sitting at the same table as Ecklie"

 

The other CSI had heard his name and looked up growling lightly.

 

"I heard that Brass"

 

Happy that Jim was distracted Catherine went back to observing the currents and undercurrents in this group, looking at Warrick now. Her friend looked beat, deep lines in his face and even now after all the coffee he'd drunk he looked as if he were falling asleep right on the spot.

 

Still though as Warrick talked to Nick he was completely focused on the other man, his eyes almost burning into Nick's soul, his hands continuously reaching out to touch Nick almost as if he had to make sure the other CSI was still there. Finally while Nick was talking about some football game he wanted to see next weekend, Warrick couldn't hold back anymore.

 

"I thought I lost you"

 

The words hadn't been loud, but there effect couldn't have been greater if Warrick had shouted them. Total silence descended over the group while Nick looked at Warrick.

 

"I mean, fuck, when I was in this dammed car and the song came up... I really thought you were dead. Hey man, don't do this to me again; I don't want to lose another friend."

 

It all came out in one sentence as if Warrick didn't even dare to breathe in between the words. Yet before Nick could answer, Sara grabbed his hand and made him look at her.

 

"Warrick is right Nick, we were worried, no, more than worried, terrified."

 

Seeing that Nick looked between the usually cool Warrick and the always unflappable Sara completely surprised and with eyes not unlike a deer's caught in the headlight, Catherine decided to step in.

 

"What they are trying to say is, that we are happy that you are ok, happy that you survived, because this case has made us all realize that you are not just a colleague but a friend."

 

---

 

Nick felt his heart constrict at the fear in Warrick's eyes and the sincerity in Sara's voice. He had always considered them as good friends and often seen the team as a part of his family, but it was different to hear it and for a second he didn't know how to react. Then though, he reached out and simply grabbed Warrick's hand and squeezed it before he looked at the rest of the team.

 

"Thanks"

 

It was simple and short, but he didn’t know what else to say. Masking his embarrassment he grabbed his drink and sipped on it before he finally realized that there was one more person to be thanked. Nick knew that Ecklie had gone beyond his duty especially when he had taken the weapon and so he fixed the other supervisor with a smile.

 

"Thank you too, you didn't have to do this"

 

For a second there was pain in Ecklie's eyes and if Nick hadn't looked so closely, he wouldn't have seen it. The older man nodded slightly, accepting the thanks but refusing to say anything else. Instead he nodded at the group and got up, leaving the table and the restaurant almost in a hurry. Nick's eyes followed the tall man and silently he promised himself to talk with Ecklie once again, not today though, later.

 

The silence at the table was spreading and starting to become almost uncomfortable, when Jim suddenly looked at Gil.

 

"What is going to happen now?"

 

Nick felt his lover tense at those words and alarmed he looked at the older man; Gil quickly met his eyes, the blue pools conveying a question and a plea at once. Nick understood what his lover was asking and nodded slowly. He knew that Gil wanted to tell him first, but he understood that the others had just as much a right to know.

 

"You mean with me and Nick?"

 

Gil's voice was so cool, so composed and Nick envied his lover for being able to mask his emotion so much. He knew that if it had been him who was talking, his voice and face would have betrayed the anticipation he felt.

 

"While Nick gave a statement and you guys went through the evidence, I talked to the director and the sheriff. I told them about Nick and me, told them that I had an idea how we could solve the problem."

 

The envy gave way to pride and something akin to amusement, when he noticed the slight shock on Sara's face, the grin that threatened to split Warrick's face and finally Catherine's quiet smile.

 

"They agreed that with my inability to a) communicate with the press and b) follow up on all administrative issues it would be prudent to have an additional supervisor in the nightshift, someone who's responsible for all the administrative things, while I will remain responsible for the case related issues."

 

The announcement was met with a collective gasp, even Nick was surprised that the sheriff had gone for it. At the same time though, he felt like shouting with joy, he didn't have to quit his job and would be able to continue working with Gil. Nick knew that they had never discussed it, but for him it had always been logical that he would be the one to quit not Gil. Feeling the arm around his shoulder tighten, he looked up and found his lover staring at him.

 

"I am sorry that I didn't talk to you before."

 

The apology was quiet enough so that the others didn't hear it and Nick swallowed heavily as he saw the thinly veiled fear in Gil's eyes. For a moment Nick shivered as he suddenly realized how insecure Gil still felt in their relationship. Without thinking he raised his hand and quickly caressed the older man's cheek.

 

"It's ok, Gil, they have a right to know too."

 

Relief was obvious in the blue eyes and for a moment Gil smiled at him, before he turned around and faced the group again.

 

"So from today onwards, Catherine is responsible for any administrative and communication issues of the nightshift. If you agree to the conditions, that is of course."

 

Nick could see that Catherine was shocked for a moment, but then she smiled and shaking her head she looked at Gil.

 

"These conditions will better be good."

 

The answer to this comment was a collective laugh, before Warrick stretched his body and announced that he was leaving.

 

"I can hear my bed chanting my name."

 

As if the comment had been a silent command, the group left, relieved but tired after a gruesome time that had brought one thing home. They weren't immortal, they were just as vulnerable as the other man, they might have saved Nick this time, but no one knew who would be next and if they would be on time then too..

 

---

 

"Take me home"

 

The soft husky voice made Gil shiver, Nick's hand on his tight made him tremble. He had never thought of himself as a passionate man and yet he had had to rein his instincts today to not drag Nick away from the others, to not run into the room where his lover was giving a statement, grab him and kiss him senseless. Some detached part of his brain told him that it was to be expected, that his behaviour was nothing but the adrenalin rush after a tight situation, but he didn't believe it.

 

What he and Nick shared, it was so much more than a rush of adrenalin and for a second he shivered as his mind flashed back to the sight of the woman holding a gun at Nick's head.

 

"I can't drive Nick"

 

It was the truth, his hands shook too much, the reality suddenly intruding again and with a mute cry he leaned back in his seat. Too much, it was too much, he wasn't used to feel so much and for a second he wished that he had never fallen for Nick, had never met the other man... He couldn't deal with this logically, couldn't classify his feelings and it scared him much more than he wanted to admit.

 

"It's ok, Gil, I'll drive, just move over and I'll drive us home."

 

Nick's soft, gentle yet strong voice brought him back and his eyes met chocolate dark eyes in return. Nick's hand cupped his face quickly, brushing over his lips with one finger, before he got out of the car and swapped seats with Gil. They drove home in silence as if they both had realized that one wrong word would make the other crumble that both their controls were hanging by a thread. Stopping in front of Gil's house, Nick's eyes automatically went to the front porch and a slight shiver ran over him.

 

"Do you want to go to your place instead?"

 

Gil could see that the prospect of getting outside and walking towards the house, walking the path that would have meant Nick's death only hours ago, frightened his lover, but the younger man shook his head at the question.

 

"I need to do this, need to be with you tonight, here in this house."

 

And Gil understood what Nick didn't say, understood that Nick had to erase the memories of this day. Slowly he followed his lover when they got out of the car, watching Nick as he walked towards the house, saw him hesitate before he got up the few stairs, he smiled as he saw Nick turn around and look at him.

 

"You lost the key?"

 

He grinned lightly and opened the door only to close and lock it as soon as they were inside. He had his phone turned off already and planned to disconnect the land line soon. For the next 24 hours, he wanted time with Nick, time to reassure himself that his lover was alive, that he was with him. His train of thought was interrupted by Nick's lips on his, insistent, urgent, yet still gentle and loving.

 

"I need to feel you"

 

Maybe it were those survival instincts that made them crave each other so much, maybe it was something that was ingrained in their genetic code, but right at this moment Gil didn't care. He had Nick in his arms, Nick, whose body was warm and alive under his roaming hands, Nick who stole his breath away with every kiss they shared, Nick who made his knees buckle with the way he caressed Gil's back.

 

Nick, who was alive, who still loved him, still wanted him.

 

There weren't many words spoken on the way to the bedroom, somehow it felt as if they were past speaking, reduced to such a primal level that the only communication was touch, taste, passion. Nick's trembling fingers tore at his clothes and Gil felt himself just as impatient as he tried to undress his lover.

 

"Damn"

 

Looking up at the curse he smiled at the fire that burned in those dark eyes and stilling Nick's hands he removed his shirt and his pants, watching as Nick mirrored his movements. He drew in a sharp breath as Nick's chest was revealed. Finally naked he walked over to stand close to his lover.

 

"You are beautiful"

 

They spoke at the same time, looked at each other and laughed as some of the frenzy melted away. It was good to be together, Gil suddenly realized, not just because of the passion and the love he felt for the other man. But even more because he knew that Nick could make him laugh, because although he hadn't realized it until now, Nick was not only his lover, he was also his friend.

 

Gil leaned in a bit and flicked his tongue in and out of Nick's ear, pleased at the wriggling reaction this got. He licked his way along the other man's neck and throat and slowly moved further south. He ran a slow, lazy circle round the edge of a nipple with his tongue, moving ever closer to the nub, then kissed it before sucking it into hardness. As he moved on to its twin, he felt Nick arch beneath him, and heard him moan softly.

 

"Like this?"

 

"Yes..."

 

Nick collapsed on the bed, taking Gil with him, so that he was on top, his body stretched above him. For a moment he worried if he had hurt his lover, but the strong arms going around his back and stroking the length of it, up and down along either side of his spine, massaging, kneading, then caressing told him differently.

 

Their hands both went on discovery journeys over each other's bodies, exploring, mapping, noting hot spots and ticklish places; their lips drew warmth from each other, their cocks rubbed and thrust against each other's strength, their hands stoked the flames into fire. When the heat threatened to overwhelm him, too soon, Gil shifted off Nick for a moment, remembered to breathe, and felt his lover's eyes on him. Gil stopped breathing as he watched the blazing dark fire in them as his lover whispered.

 

"I want you"

 

And with those words he moved downward, enwrapping Gil's cock with his mouth, taking him inside his own warmth, his deft tongue and lips leading the older man to the peak of ecstasy again and again without quite going over the edge, until the need spread throughout his entire body, aching tremors of sheer desire rippling through him from head to toe, until he cried out uncontrollablly. Nick withdrew his mouth, leaving Gil utterly bereft and he shivered as he felt Nick's lips on his, as his lover shared his taste with him.

 

"Take me."

 

The utter surprise in Nick's face made him smile, but the need was too deep, too strong and so he repeated his words.

 

"I need you to make me yours"

 

He could feel the tremors that started in Nick's body at those words, saw the fire and love in the dark eyes and felt the same emotions in the care that his lover took in preparing him. And as Nick finally slid into Gil's body, he felt whole and the deep moan escaping the man above him told him that Nick felt the same. It was passionate and hard and yet it wasn't fucking, it was making love, rediscovering love and as they came together their world seemed to stop for a moment.

 

And then it was over, and thought gradually returned.

 

Gil looked at the man next to him, the man he had thought he had lost, the man who had faced the barrel of a gun today, had talked down a woman ready to kill and he tightened his arms around Nick.

 

"I almost died today"

 

Nick's silent words broke the barrier that he had built around his emotions and almost in time with Nick he felt himself to start trembling. They were both weak right now, both not strong enough to be strong for the other and yet holding each other while they trembled and cried each felt comforted by the presence of the other.

 

That was, what it meant to have a partner, Gil realized when clarity came back. It didn't mean that life would go on smoothly and without tears, it didn't mean a constant bed of roses. The only thing it meant was that when the bumps came, when the roses had more thorns than flowers, he wouldn't be alone, there would be someone else with him, someone who was holding him, was crying with him.

 

"I swore to survive for you; I never wanted to live so much as I do now, for you, with you."

 

Nick's words were murmured against his neck and for once in his life Gil answered without analysing his response, just speaking his heart.

 

"Me too, Nick, with you forever"

 

 

---

 

Epilogue

 

Conrad leaned against the railing, watching the water fountains glitter in the changing lights. It was one of those displays in Vegas that enchanted tourists and locals alike for its simple and free beauty. Behind the fountain the large casino seemed to glitter even more, the lights changing even stronger, the promise of luck and money loud and clear.

 

It was that promise that drew people to Las Vegas. It was the reason tourists flocked the city by the millions.

 

It wasn’t the reason he had come here so long ago.

 

The colours changed again and the fountain erupted once more when he felt another presence next to him.

 

“Eight more and we can re-enact the closing scene from Ocean’s Eleven.”

 

A quiet chuckle was all he got for an answer and they continued to watch the display until Jim turned around and looked at him.

 

“You’re not cute enough to stand in for Brad Pitt.”

 

It was said with a smile and Conrad didn’t take offence, although his voice sounded gruff when he answered.

 

“You’re no George Clooney either.”

 

Brass smiled and turned towards the taller man, the smile changed into a concerned and understanding one, as he put a comforting hand on the CSI’s shoulder.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

For a moment, Conrad was tempted to shrug the hand and the question off, but the calm eyes reminded him that there was no need to pretend.

 

“I don’t know”

 

Jim was silent, not asking anything, just waiting until Conrad would speak himself, offering comfort without words by just being there.

 

“I promised myself, I would never do it, would never go back...”

 

Now Jim shook his head and still watching the colourful display he wondered why he wasn’t surprised about Conrad’s comment.

 

“You didn’t do it voluntary and it saved Nick’s life.”

 

A nod was all Conrad did to acknowledge this simple and yet profound truth, but Jim knew there was more and so he waited standing close to the other man, his hand still on the rigid back in a comforting gesture.

 

“It felt good to hold a rifle again, to have this power over a person’s life.”

 

He expected the hand to disappear and almost feared the cold which would follow him home, when Jim disappeared now. But the hand only tightened for a second and relaxed again. The fact that the other man hadn’t cast any judgement encouraged him to speak again.

 

“It’s addictive, you know, this feeling of power, this feeling of playing god even if it is just for a short moment.”

 

He closed his eyes shutting out the colours of Las Vegas and going back to deserts and jungles. Places he had never thought to visit again in his mind, places he had banished from his memory...

 

“It was the reason why I left the corps, why I never finished the Delta training. If I had stayed, this guy, Snowdon... it could have been me.”

 

The hand on his back stilled and the pressure increased forcing him to turn around and face Jim, almost afraid what he would see in the Captain’s eyes he still met them directly and saw that they were full of warmth and understanding.

 

“You quit once you’ve realized the danger. That’s what matters Conrad, it’s not the what-if’s that matter it’s the reality.”

 

Brass was silent for a moment before he spoke again.

 

“Someone once said that it is your choices that show what we truly are.”

 

Groaning a bit, Jim pushed himself away from the railing and turned to walk back to the car. After three steps he stopped and turned back to look at Conrad.

 

“I’m too tired to go to bed, you joining me for some food?”

 

Pushing all the dark thoughts away, Conrad smiled and nodded. It wasn’t until they were in the restaurant that he grinned again.

 

“Never guessed you’d read Harry Potter”

 

Jim looked up and chuckled.

 

“Well, ditto”

 

Conrad laughed at the retort and leaned back in the chair, stretching his arms while Jim ordered his food and talked with the waitress. It was only when the other man disappeared to the toilets, that he let his head fall into his hands to stop them from shivering. Jim Brass thought he was a good guy, thought that he had conquered his demons, but the other man had no idea.

 

Had no idea, that the only reason Conrad hadn’t shot the woman, was that it had been Nick Stokes standing next to her at gun point and not Jim Brass.

 

THE END